My dad was a public defender when I was a child and he would have to drive all over the district to visit various defendants in various jails which I thought was very interesting and I liked to hear about his experiences in various jails and how different they all were. He drove me to school every day and sometimes I’d skip in and tell my classmates “My dad is going to the jail in [TOWN/CITY] today!” mind you, I went to public school in a not very nice little town so my teacher’s first thought wasn’t lawyer, she had other students with incarcerated parents. This was also occurring in the south where everyone is nosy as fuck so she eventually called my mother, presumably to scope out why her husband was a jail bird and if the chargers were relevant to me and my education in any way. My mom had to explain that my dad wasn’t an inmate who kept getting transferred and that going to jail is his job.
She worded it more like “Your child keeps telling his classmates that his father is going to jail, I wanted to touch bases and see if everything is alright at home.” you know, pretend concern for my social wellbeing. But I know she was just nosy and my mom picked up on that immediately.
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
everyone saying "this seems like a nice day out" is probably correct however failing to account for the fact i am a terminally online gamer bro and 2 hours of walking uphill has left my knees in shambles. i have made mistakes i will absolutely repeat next time i try to do errands.
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
[ID: A Tweet and self-reply by Twitter user Akira.
The original Tweet says "At a certain magnitude of cunt severity, getting misgendered by your family stops hurting and starts being funny. I have D cups, Grandpa. The waitress thinks you have dementia."
One of the lesser known early symptoms of dementia is that people start being more disagreeable.
Part of this is probably the natural result of being increasingly confused and upset day to day constantly. Another possible thing is that the same mechanism that causes dementia is also attacking the part of the brain that does emotional regulation.
And the thing is this is super early stage. By the time they stop remembering when's the last time you met, it's already way too late. But if an older person in your life starts acting way more like a cunt for literally no reason, and it's not particularly in character for them, it really might be worth testing for dementia or Alzheimer's because you have a lot more options catching it earlier.
After sifting through hundreds of photos... I have realized that every time Simon takes a photo in the SM-13, he's pulling up a frame to a stop motion animation.
And it can be played back as video.
So, I took each black box photo and compiled them together. You can now watch Simon's entire journey from the SM-13's camera like found footage.
You can also gain access to Simon's amazing photography portfolio from my master reference project, as well as the video for yourself.
Please, have a watch. It's terrifying. I feel like a C.O.I. lab tech delving into something I really shouldn't, and it's a blast!
dededos
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
vaporwave
areudirty
kianamaiart
janainaart
