A huge amount of MCU fic features Steve Rogers the wonderful, caring, sensitive, supportive boyfriend, and I uh. Kind of want the opposite.
Don’t get me wrong, any “Steve is a godawful boyfriend” headcanon should still start from the baseline of Steve being a good person who cares about Doing The Right Thing and treating people decently. But Steve is also:
- married to his job - kind of emotionally constipated - quick to anger - prickly about receiving comfort, and awkward about giving it - blunt and plain-spoken - prone to expecting a lot of the people around him, and to being openly disappointed/unimpressed when they don’t come through - going to put duty ahead of personal attachments most of the time - withdrawn and socially isolated - reckless, stubborn, and the kind of prideful that answers anything that can be taken as a challenge with “wanna bet?” - a lifelong dweeb who has never been in a romantic relationship and has no experience in how they work
Which is a set of issues that could range anywhere from “highly manageable, if you aren’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with him and don’t expect him to be available 24/7″ to “un-dateable human disaster.” Going by my fairly limited experience with comics, there is precedent for the “un-dateable human disaster” option; MCU doesn’t have to follow it, but it wouldn’t be out of the blue. And let’s face it, MCU Steve could use some better-developed flaws.
And oh my lord, Godawful Boyfriend Steve Rogers. Swears he’s not trying to set a record for number of consecutive dinner dates he’s bailed out of halfway through to go Avenging. Fails epically at normal emotional boundaries–is cagey and withdrawn about the weirdest shit, but overshares about his Dead Best Friend Feelings on the first date. Goes abruptly from zero to full commitment once he decides he’s found the Right Partner. Guilt-trips like a pro, and sometimes forgets how fucking intimidating he is when he’s pissed off. Takes an “if you get killed, walk it off” approach to almost all life difficulties. Will always come through with material and moral support in an emergency, but clams up and flees rather than be a shoulder to cry on. Wouldn’t know work/life separation if it clocked him over the head.
Don’t get me wrong, Steve’s a nice dude, and unlike most angry repressed masculinity-stereotype characters, he’s capable of being forthright about his feelings when it counts. But there’s plenty of potential there for him to be flat-out fucking terrible at romantic relationships. And even at his best… well, “sensitive” isn’t exactly the word I would use. Considerate, sure. Solicitous of whether he’s saying/doing the exact best possible thing for someone else’s emotional wellbeing, not so much.
*files away with Wartime Romance plot bunnies* (although Peggy is almost as bad)
