Stuff My AP Teacher Says

A collection of random-but-intelligent-and-somehow-remotely-connected-to-the-subject, nonchalant comments and hilarious bits of wisdom that spew from the mouths of my AP teachers/college professors. Enjoy! :)

[stuffmyapteachersays]

On wearing sunglasses on overcast days

"If you're real cool, the sun is always shining."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

The mathematician's notion of beauty

"Brief is good. You don't want to crush somebody with all the details. You want to get to the key points, and be crisp. It's really nice if they're elegant. Now, that means clever. It's the mathematician's notion of beauty. Like you go to the art museum, and the artists will say, wow, that's a beautiful painting. In mathematics, you say, wow, that's an elegant proof. It's crisp, clever, short, to the point. And it's really the highest compliment you can get from a mathematician, anyway. And there's a lot of judgment that goes into that. Just like in art-- there's judgment over what is great art."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

“If you can break those crypto systems, well, you can’t rule the world but it’s close.”

[stuffmyapteachersays]

“People like to try to translate English into logical expressions, an enterprise that does not always work very well. Let’s try a simple example: “Either you won’t go skiing, or you will and there won’t be any snow.” Using proposition symbols skiing and isSnow, we create the logical expressions: skiing ⇔ ¬snow ¬skiing ∨ ¬snow I’m not really sure which was the speaker’s intent. I think the speaker was just trying to be ironic, and math doesn’t capture that real well.”

[stuffmyapteachersays]

""The project description must be brief (no more than 2 to 5 pages)" - The NSF (National Science Foundation) The logical meaning is unclear. Perhaps this means that the description should be anywhere between two to five pages. Or maybe it means at most two pages. Or maybe it means at most five pages. You'd think the NSF could be more clear."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

"Every year we have to take tests and one of the questions was "Professor Smith said something about a dumb hick in class. Is this a violation of university policy?" And apparently no. Dumb hicks are not a protected group."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

“I realize to any stranger walking into today’s lecture would be very confused. Or aroused. But we just won’t give them context. It’ll be fun.”

-Dr Simmers, standing under a board with the words “Penis Size” on it, followed by a chart of different races along the dotted line from large to micro. Context? Racial Steyotyping in Intro to Sociology

[stuffmyapteachersays]

“So how goes the chemical burn? Still eating your hand”

-my Biology Lab ta upon learning the milipede secreted HCN all over my hand

[stuffmyapteachersays]

"In which case is the center of mass accelerated more? And some of you are going to be like hey but it rotates! We're going to do rotations later... And you're going to hate it so don't worry about it now."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

TOP 10 Reasons NOT to freak out about the Physics 2A Midterm

Update from Professor Gabor:

TOP 10 Reasons NOT to freak out about the Physics 2A Midterm

10. It covers only kinematics and dynamics, which excludes a near infinitude of other types of more difficult quantum mechanics problems. 9. Your TAs have many office hours, the SI is free, and the acedemic resource center is waiting for you to stop by. 8. Anemonefish (like Nemo) don’t worry about midterms, they are more concerned about being eaten by predators. 7. You don’t need to memorize anything, especially the value of constants, which will be provided if needed. 6. You will do fine on the exam, and if not, you can still end up with a good grade if you work hard. 5. Your midterm will be easier than lifting heavy crates all day, especially those filled with freshly caught fish. 4. The problems on the practice exam are practice, so no need to get every one of them correct. 3. If a truck is travelling north-northwest at 80kmph, and a car is travelling south at 45 kmph, you’ll still do well on the exam. 2. When you are in a moment of desparation, recite the ancient mantra: SOH CAH TOA. 1. Your exam is not an alien monster trying to steal your genetic information. Oh wait…

[stuffmyapteachersays]

Differences between book and professor

“The book uses the word ‘touches.’ I do not want my math to touch me.”

[stuffmyapteachersays]

On Mispronouncing Words

“I’m a mathematician, not an englishtitician.”

[stuffmyapteachersays]

About banning Arabs in the US

“It’s more than gas prices going hella up. Everything does. Refrigerated food would not be possible. Electricity would not be a thing. Cars would not drive. The zombie apocalypse happens. We’d turn to cannibalism in a month. :) ”

[stuffmyapteachersays]

Oversimplification

"Decapitation solves colds. It does however have negative side effects."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

tl;dr Descartes wins

[stuffmyapteachersays]

"I play games on my phone. And when I want to look more sophisticated/intelligent, I play hangman."

[stuffmyapteachersays]

On Disney Princesses

"It's not about gender. I'm just anti-royalist."