My DC fic, which got deleted on Ao3.
Deadinside&outside @Schrödingersbastard
I’m going to see if I can do the tide pod challenge
Deadinside&outside @Schrödingersbastard
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
Todd, do not do this (Do it, do it, do it).
Deadinside&outside @Schrödingersbastard
Bruce Wayne @BWayneOffical
Deadinside&outside @Schödingersbastard
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
You do realise that trend was, like 2 years ago? Do something original, but in a controlled environment, A.k.a, don’t do it Jason.
Deadinside&outside @Schrödingersbastard
Good point, I will instead hit up @PHDClown for some toxin
Didn't Jason Todd die, like, twenty years ago?
sToPiTgEtSoMeHeLp @stephthemeth
I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
sToPiTgEtSoMeHeLp @stephthemeth
Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
Deadinside&outside @Schödingersbastard
*accidentally does something well* Ah shit I’ve given them standards now.
Will kill dudes @Cassassain
I am 80% speed, 50% hero and 70% legend.
sToPiTgEtSoMeHeLp @stephthemeth
Will kill dudes @Cassassain
I'm twice the Huntress you'll ever be.
My Chocolate milk is bitter, what's wrong with this chocolate milk?
Barbara Gordon @BabsGordon
Dark milk isn't chocolate milk. This is raw cow's milk. The bitterness of the chocolate brings out the sourness in the milk.
That's the worst part of both of those things!
Hey, do you know how long it takes until you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?
Barbara Gordon @BabsGordon
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
Barbara Gordon @BabsGordon
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
There's a vampire behind Bruce and he's making fun of me
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you?
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
Oh, awesome. You're a lifesaver.
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
Wait, is this just milk and sugar?
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
I have a complicated relationship with sleep. By which I mean if I ever meet its god I can and will make them fear me so much they never come near me again.
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
[ID: Image of Bruce’s newest car, park half on the curb, half on the road. Bruce very tiredly getting out of the driver’s seat and getting scolded by Alfred.]
Bruce Wayne @BWayneOffical
I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!
Bruce Wayne @BWayneOffical
you ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."
Clark Kent @DailyPlanetMan
Bruce Wayne @BWayneOffical
honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because i was gonna show you a picture of Alfred the cat in a turkey costume
I can't decide if I need 50 cups of coffee or a month's worth of sleep.
Hello? @BWayneOfficial , where on earth are you?
Bruce Wayne @BWayneOffical
I waved to a man because I thought he was waving at me. Apparently, he was waving to the guy behind me. So to get out of the awkward situation, I kept my hand up so a taxi pulled over and drove me to the port. I am now in Kazimierz, investigating a new case. I should be home by Thursday.
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
Understandable, have a nice day.
what tHE FUCK DID I JUST SAW
stfu timmy I'm going through something
is the mansion haunted???
I was half asleep and then?? A big shadow was towering over me??
and don't tell me it was a dream bc I heard the door closing
oh yeah, he does that sometimes
why is the old bat watching me sleep???
he probably wasn't able to sleep, so he was making sure we're all warm so we don't catch a cold
damn, the older he gets the crazier...
so the winter fairy isn't real :c??
Running On Jellybeans @JonKent
Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.
Will kill dudes @Cassassain
Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
sToPiTgEtSoMeHeLp @stephthemeth
My will to live! I haven't seen this in 10 years!
Deadinside&outside @Schödingersbastard
I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Mental stability, my old friend!
Running On Jellybeans @JonKent
Guys, could you lighten up a little?
QUICK! I need $10000 because I have ADHD and am bisexual!
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
When I was 7 I had a crush on a guy in my class & didn’t know how to deal w it so I wrote him a letter that just said “get out of my school”
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
Running On Jellybeans @JonKent
I had a dream last night that I was being chased by Freddy Kruger throught out my house, but when he ran by my dog he stopped to pet him, looked at me and went, “what? It’s not his nightmare. He’s a good boy.”
Running On Jellybeans @JonKent
and that’s why I’m not sure if taking NyQuil is a good idea.
For anyone thinking, without a doubt that my father is Batman, no, he’s not.
CEO Wayne Enterprises @TimothyDrake
He cries during every Disney film and forgets where every bathroom is in the manor.
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
For context, we have quite a few, over fifty if I remember correctly.
For anyone wondering, I’m not with the Joker anymore, I am in a loving relationship with @veganbiby and we’re getting married in three months.
AND! @BWayneOfficial is coming as my best man! :D
Congrats, but why Bruce Wayne? – Clark
Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?
Holy Shit, Harley Quinn knows vines???!!
My wonderful gf is made of vines
As someone who has joined the Wayne’s in the most recent months, Bruce literally doesn’t know what’s happening, like, half of the time.
He thinks that the Joker is just a party city clown.
Barbara Gordon @BabsGordon
Batman(the real one) @BatManOffical
I have had to rescue him so many times
I genuinely don’t know how he raised ten kids.
But they are all gay and mentally ill, so I blame Bruce.
My husband is the only reason I’m not dead yet.
You literally have accelerated healing.
He is still the only reason I am not dead.
Have you seen those thighs?
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
Okay, but I’ve been off Twitter for five days and I come back and found out that
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
a) SLADE WILSON the MERCENARY is married to one of Bruce Wayne’s kids.
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
b) Jason Todd is being impersonated
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
c) Harley Quinn knows what vine is, is dating Poison Ivy (I luv them), and used to date one of the Wayne kids (the one who is married to Slade)
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
d) all the kids are queer icons, and Bruce is a tired dad who can’t survive by himself and may or may not be dating Batman.
Wait, why would he date Batman???
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
Haven’t you seen how Superman and Batman look at each other?
Wait, so Superman is Bruce?
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
Yeah, and Batman is that Daily Planet reporter, Clark Kent.
Clark Kent @DailyPlanetMan
World peace baby! @JLeagueWW
Everyone at the JL, knowing Batman & Superman’s identities:
Gif: Micheal Jackson eating popcorn
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
WAIT, YOU GUYS KNOW THEIR IDENTITY?!!
World peace baby! @JLeagueWW
We have movie nights and have rooms up in the space station. – Green Lantern
CAN I VISIT!? I CAN’T WORK FOR NASA AND WANT TO GO TO SPACE!
World peace baby! @JLeagueWW
Okay, but GL genuinely came to my place, picked me up, and took me to space. It was awesome.
Hey @PHDClown , why are you bestie with himbo BW??? Like, lemme know, pls.
Oh, that’s hard to explain, but I’ll let you in on a secret. *Get closer*
Every time he and his hoard of children have a movie night, I get to go. It is utter chaos and I thrive in there.
My lovely Fiancé would like me to add that she thinks it’s basically a playdate for me.
Damian Wayne-Al Ghul @DamianWAG
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
Can I just ask, where do all the Gotham vigilantes live?? The kid I babysit for is very effing concerned about y’all not having houses.
I live in a dorm with five other bats
Batman(therealone) @BatManOffical
In my cave, or with Bruce Wayne
With Batman, or my mum, they’re divorced.
SPOILERS! @nahjustkidding
With the Teen Titans. And also a mass murderer.
I’mnotthatredrobin @RedRobbinyou
I can see your future @Oraclin
With spoiler, or my dad. Also, my partners.
The professor ain’t dead @lattehawtte
She is still concerned. But are you guys ok?
Super Man @SoupmanOffical
As someone who knows all of them, their birthdays, and their identities. No, most of their expenses are therapy bills.
Okay, thread incoming about the Wayne family/Batfamily(1/?)
First, Jason Todd is alive again? The Wayne’s were talking to a Jason, and they called him Todd? Like how did he come back to life? (2/?)
Secondly, Bruce has been seen with Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent, who is allegedly Batman, which means if he lives occasionally with Bruce, they’re a couple. (3/?)
Robin also mentioned he lives with his dad who is Batman, and that his mum and dad are divorced, and Clark Kent is divorced and had a kid from his marriage. (4/?)
Additionally, Red Hood and Red Robin are dating? Or are at least having sex with benefits. (5/?)
ALSO, IN TERMS OF RELATIONSHIPS, WHY WHEN HOW DID DICK, HIMBO DICK GRAYSON MARRY AN ASSAIN?? Like, the man’s hot, but the amount of blood on his hands? Insane. (6/?)
Honourable mention, @PHDClown is besties with BW and the Godmother to one of his kids. Like, I am so happy this is the more popular clown, she is worth it. (7/?)
Unrelated, but I also made a table on how many times Ryan should’ve won PH.
Ryan never should’ve won, he wasn’t a seadog, he was never a beefboy.
SHANENJDFL;KSJDN;ZBVNKM????
Also, he made a deal with the devil, he should’ve known what would come.
Ryan Bergara @ryansbergara
@SeceretLesbian please DM me the list.
One question for @PHDClown , are you the wine aunt or the vodka aunt?
I’m the vodka aunt and Ives is the whiskey hidden in a subtle flask aunt.
Thank you, can I come to the wedding?
Please don’t, I’m still your therapist.
