Stupid Gentleman Pricks @stupidgentlemanpricks - Tumblr Blog

The 3 year old just informed me that everybody dies. My work here is done.

World's Best Nanny

#Nanny out #nannylife #Drops mic

I'll put on my bike helmet and my runnin' legs...

My Lub preparing to be an asshole

#quotes #know thyself

The sunglasses that are on my face right now were on a strippers mons pubis last night.

That’s my girl. Living the Lyfe.

#Lyfe #Mons pubis #Quote #Real talk

We need to bang it out.

My sweet lub on problem solving

#Quote #Bang #Problem solving

I just don't know why they feel they have to tell ME about it.

Young Grasshoppah on other people and their deep, deep emotional feelings things

#lyfe #quote #emotions #feels #feelings #keep it to yourself

SHHHH Don't be sad sugar plum. Shhhh. Puts my finger to your lips. Shhhh

How My Little Cupcake comforts me from afar

#quote #Comfort #bffs for lyfe #No sads

Honesty.

#quotes #Text #truth #happynothappy

Time flies when you have no feelings.

My Lub

#Feels #Feelings #Lyfe #truth

Assholery. Feels are the devils paste.

Young Grasshopper Re: feelings about humans

#quotes #quote #feelings #lyfe #Paste #I didn't know the devil uses paste

Do you know what i had for dinner? potato salad that the boss gave me and lime tortilla chips in cheese sauce. because fuck life

My oh so healthy grasshopper (but for real, fuck life)

#Quotes #Lyfe #Food choices #I'd like to order a side of self loathing

“They never warn you about the day AFTER choosing the mango habanero salsa.”

Fiery-assed Grasshoppah

#quote #salsa #spicy food #your poor asshole #hahaha #what goes in must come out #Habanero #Peppers

Pull yourself together, Pearl. You're being manipulative right now, and I'm not falling for it.

How Nanny Grasshoppah talks to toddlers

#quote #toddlers #nanny #psychology for nannies #whining

“This is why I leave my wallet in my car. The damn internets and their cunt coloring books.”

Someone needs her male chaperone

#quote #money #impulsive #who doesn't need a cunt coloring book #cunt #what?

Curious George can suck my dick.

Well then. Looks I've we have an Angry Nanny Grasshoppah on our hands.

#Nanny issues #Curious George #Quote #Primate hate #Suck it

"Well to be fair, she's dead and you're alive, so you're clearly winning."

My Wonderfully Insensitive Grasshoppah

#Quotes #Death #Dead #Insensitive #Too funny #Truth #Lyfe #Winning #Ex girlfriend

I burp a lot. I never used to burp. Is that a sign of the aging process?

Young, Eternally Young Grasshoppah

#quote #aging #shut the hell up #kids these days

I pee standing up sometimes. Better acoustics.

Um...

#Quote #Peeing #I don't understand

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