hmm

just your friendly neighborhood stuty buty :)🌻 study inspo comp sci ftw 25 yr old comp sci grad 👩‍🎓

[m-eye-grain]

Journal writing

I hate my job

Finding light in the dark

[roscolux]

you will see something that the us military has done and it will be the most horrifying thing in the world. something that should be the catalyst for a complete upheaval of the system, for riots in the streets, for national mourning periods and rewritten textbooks and decades of reparations. and the whole time it's just a normal day for them. they did something like it yesterday and they'll do it again tomorrow. the lucky ones even get to come home and spend the rest of their lives getting discounts at the movies and applause at baseball games. and if you try to express any this to the average person irl they will act like you shot their dog in front of them

[stutybuty]

I’m joining the US military this year. I’m going to use this post to rant about my thoughts about it because I used to think the same thing and yet here I am.

There’s points in the comments about the good the military does, and when I learned of it that’s when I felt my calling clear as day and I knew this was the career I wanted to pursue. But this post is strictly about mistakes the military makes and even in light of the good I think the point still stands.

Not that the military doesn’t deserve respect from people; They put themselves in a very scary place with the purpose of doing what’s right. Not just the military, a lot more people in groups that help in this way like AmeriCorps, Peace Corps, Doctors Without Borders, etc. deserve a lot of respect imo.

It’s the fact that sometimes the power of the military is abused by leadership to create leverage through brutality. The US military especially should be used to create Freedom. Not through imperialism, but by creating spaces in other war torn nations where victims like children, the elderly, and women can feel safe again while the terrifying conflict they have no involvement in gets resolved. By creating supply lines and infrastructure that people desire when it’s needed for no cost. By providing people anywhere, without discrimination, with the means to access the healthy food, water, shelter, safety and education so that they can manifest their best life through Freedom.

There are other organizations that stand by this purpose, but I believe an organization like the military should still exist. The things that differentiate the other orgs from the military is the training the military goes through to be prepared to put their life on the line. There are dire circumstances in the US and abroad that require this. Someone should be able to help without being willing to die, but also sometimes helping means risking everything you have. This is why the two should coexist.

TLDR; I’m going to join the military, yet I think criticism for using it for needless brutality that only benefits one nation when it has potential to only benefit people across the globe is valid. Criticizing the people of the military is not. Criticize the people who decide what the military gets used for. IMO, the only difference between the military and the combined efforts of groups who are not militaristic who lend aid should be a question of whether or not the individual is willing to get trained to be put in situations that will risk their life.

[laura-the-swarming]

So you are knowingly joining an organisation that kills people and destroys their societies, that sows terror and plunders nations, and your way of living with yourself despite that is... that you can imagine a scenario in which the organisation isn't doing the thing it has been doing since its inception?

"Criticize the people who decide what the military gets used for." Yeah, yeah, the soldiers are just following orders.

Also, it's incredible how you portray military training mostly as "willingness to risk one's life". There are proffesions which do that, like firefighters. They risk their lives for the cause. A soldier is supposed to kill for the cause. Or at least harm to the point of incapacitation. If you just want to risk your life to save others', become a firefighter. Soldiers do have to risk their lifes, of course, but that's because the people on the other side are also trained to kill.

Military does not deserve respect. You are willingly contributing to USA's imperialist death machine and are absolving yourself by deciding that the people telling you to pull the trigger are the bad guys, while it's you that's holding the gun. Just because someone else told you to kill, does not mean you aren't the killer. Your willingness to silence your moral compass with vague idealism is insulting to yourself and everyone who has had the misfortune of reading your drivel.

I hope that one day you will be as ashamed of your decisions as I am.

[stutybuty]

Let me be more clear because I agree on some points. When I referred to the military deserving respect, I meant people in the military. I don’t think calling people in the military something like killer is fair for a lot of reasons, unless they purposefully sought to murder people of their own volition which is a crime in and out of the US military. The US military as an organization does not deserve respect right now because for all the good that the US military does provide, it’s still being used in the other terrible ways that you mention when, right now as we speak, it has the potential to only do the good it’s already doing and so much more.

Back to me. I do recognize I am joining the military as it is now, not how I envision its potential. But I need to be a part of ending the bad ways militaries are used in, and joining the military is the only way I can get what I need to make the ideas for the military I talk about a reality. There are advantages in the US for joining the military that will at least get me in the position to try and change how the military is used. Mainly I am referring to education. That is how I will live with myself. Joining will actually be the first time I can try to truly live with myself since I first started learning about the terrible things the US military has done and continues to do because, yes, it has occurred since its inception and I need to be a part of anything that changes that since there appears to be no end in sight right now. Joining will get me there. Being a firefighter would not give me the resources I need for that, and neither would anything else I have seen while searching. It would help me save lives, but what about the lives of people who are victims of war, where the endless killing and societal destruction we’re talking about happens and has never stopped since the beginning of civilization?

Back to the US military being necessary. To prevent using the US military or any other military for war, war needs to be internationally outlawed. The US military, along with any military across the globe, could make that happen. Along with the risky life saving missions on the homefront, militaries could collectively be used to protect victims of war abroad and enforce outlawing war entirely, because it would need to be enforced. War is always a needless tragedy that could have been avoided if people respected other people’s freedom and right to live, but evil leaders will always try to use violence to enforce their will if they have the power to do so. So, as long as there are evil leaders, there needs to be a power that will always be greater than theirs, and the people part of that power will probably have to risk their lives by being a part of it.

[laura-the-swarming]

When I said military does not deserve respect, I also meant the people in the military. Every single person who has enlisted has signed on knowing they will personally kill people from other countries, or that they will help facilitate such killings. That's the whole point.

Joining the military will not let you change it from the inside for the same reason becoming a cop to reform the system from the inside doesn't work: the organisation self selects and enforces its current status quo. Either you bend and become complicit, or you will be ostracised and eventually ousted.

I agree that wars perpetrated by states are despicable and we should stop wars. But the USA is the chief exporter of said wars! US won't stop the evil wars because they are the ones starting them! US military is literally the last organisation I trust with being "the world police" precisely because it has been playing at being the world police for most of its existence.

Also, a watchdog organisation that can hold countries accountable for warmongering is simply not going to happen, because the only states with the power to fund and supply such an organisation to the point it can enforce its rules are the very states who are doing most of the meddling, chief of which is the United States.

The system is not broken. The exchange of innocent lifes for oil money and propaganda is the system working as intended. You cannot redeem the US military, because you cannot redeem the US.

Ideally, the country would be dissolved, but at the very least y'all need to weaken how much power and resources the military has. The only way for you to personally make an impact while within the military industrial complex itself would be to find yourself in a position of some power and then sabotage, which would cost you your job and probably your life. Im not going to lie, if this is your plan, I applaud your courage.

As an aside, you keep mentioning "the good" the US military has supposedly done, but aside from world war 2 and recently the military aid towards Ukraine, any act of US military intervention i have ever heard of involved them invading for resources, playing proxy wars, or deposing governments to install leadership subservient to the USA. I would genuinely love to hear about a situation where the US presence has been a stabilising force.

Edit: concerning the last paragraph, it would also be preferable if the helpful US presence in question was actually requested by anyone, rather than the US deciding they know better and barging in to "save the day".

[stutybuty]

I’m willing to agree to disagree with you about people in the military.

I’m definitely not changing it from the inside. My goal is to be a legislator that reforms it.

Wars would happen and do happen with or without US intervention. Wars have been around since before the US, so the solution isn’t dissolving the US or its military. Another nation would just take its place.

I believe the solution to stopping wars is internationalism. Forces from different nations could come together on issues that affect all of humanity. That is why I did not say the US military would be spearheading the world police. Yes, that has been one of the righteous causes the US government has given US citizens to justify using the military in foreign affairs and, as you say, it has not worked. I don’t think it would work with any nation.

I’m saying the US military could be a part of a global organization of militaries (perhaps similar to NATO but including all nations who would come to each other’s aid and who agree to never declare war) that enforces diplomacy over warmongering.

It shouldn’t be dissolved, and other nations’ militaries shouldn’t be dissolved, because there is a lot of good a military can do domestically. It protects the nation from violent threats. It is a pivotal factor in disaster recovery. I won’t bother naming positive examples of U.S. intervention in foreign affairs because that’s not what I’m advocating for. I’m advocating for a way for any nation to ask for help when its people get threatened by warmongering besides relying on solely their own military.

I’m joining the military to get the education I need to become a legislator to do that. And for the good I will do the people of my nation. I’m not doing it for the bad joining will do for people of other nations. I hope the US and other nations will realize that we should turn to internationalism while I’m in the military so I can be fully satisfied with the career path I’m in and can stay in the military till my dying days. But as long as that doesn’t happen, I’m getting what I need from the military, getting out, and doing everything I can to make it happen.

[stutybuty]

don't worry piggy we'll fuck your wife for you while you're off "following orders" (murdering civilians)

Lol I ain’t worried bout you. The only people who submit hate anonymously are people with no balls.

[roscolux]

you will see something that the us military has done and it will be the most horrifying thing in the world. something that should be the catalyst for a complete upheaval of the system, for riots in the streets, for national mourning periods and rewritten textbooks and decades of reparations. and the whole time it's just a normal day for them. they did something like it yesterday and they'll do it again tomorrow. the lucky ones even get to come home and spend the rest of their lives getting discounts at the movies and applause at baseball games. and if you try to express any this to the average person irl they will act like you shot their dog in front of them

[stutybuty]

I’m joining the US military this year. I’m going to use this post to rant about my thoughts about it because I used to think the same thing and yet here I am.

There’s points in the comments about the good the military does, and when I learned of it that’s when I felt my calling clear as day and I knew this was the career I wanted to pursue. But this post is strictly about mistakes the military makes and even in light of the good I think the point still stands.

Not that the military doesn’t deserve respect from people; They put themselves in a very scary place with the purpose of doing what’s right. Not just the military, a lot more people in groups that help in this way like AmeriCorps, Peace Corps, Doctors Without Borders, etc. deserve a lot of respect imo.

It’s the fact that sometimes the power of the military is abused by leadership to create leverage through brutality. The US military especially should be used to create Freedom. Not through imperialism, but by creating spaces in other war torn nations where victims like children, the elderly, and women can feel safe again while the terrifying conflict they have no involvement in gets resolved. By creating supply lines and infrastructure that people desire when it’s needed for no cost. By providing people anywhere, without discrimination, with the means to access the healthy food, water, shelter, safety and education so that they can manifest their best life through Freedom.

There are other organizations that stand by this purpose, but I believe an organization like the military should still exist. The things that differentiate the other orgs from the military is the training the military goes through to be prepared to put their life on the line. There are dire circumstances in the US and abroad that require this. Someone should be able to help without being willing to die, but also sometimes helping means risking everything you have. This is why the two should coexist.

TLDR; I’m going to join the military, yet I think criticism for using it for needless brutality that only benefits one nation when it has potential to only benefit people across the globe is valid. Criticizing the people of the military is not. Criticize the people who decide what the military gets used for. IMO, the only difference between the military and the combined efforts of groups who are not militaristic who lend aid should be a question of whether or not the individual is willing to get trained to be put in situations that will risk their life.

[laura-the-swarming]

So you are knowingly joining an organisation that kills people and destroys their societies, that sows terror and plunders nations, and your way of living with yourself despite that is... that you can imagine a scenario in which the organisation isn't doing the thing it has been doing since its inception?

"Criticize the people who decide what the military gets used for." Yeah, yeah, the soldiers are just following orders.

Also, it's incredible how you portray military training mostly as "willingness to risk one's life". There are proffesions which do that, like firefighters. They risk their lives for the cause. A soldier is supposed to kill for the cause. Or at least harm to the point of incapacitation. If you just want to risk your life to save others', become a firefighter. Soldiers do have to risk their lifes, of course, but that's because the people on the other side are also trained to kill.

Military does not deserve respect. You are willingly contributing to USA's imperialist death machine and are absolving yourself by deciding that the people telling you to pull the trigger are the bad guys, while it's you that's holding the gun. Just because someone else told you to kill, does not mean you aren't the killer. Your willingness to silence your moral compass with vague idealism is insulting to yourself and everyone who has had the misfortune of reading your drivel.

I hope that one day you will be as ashamed of your decisions as I am.

[stutybuty]

Let me be more clear because I agree on some points. When I referred to the military deserving respect, I meant people in the military. I don’t think calling people in the military something like killer is fair for a lot of reasons, unless they purposefully sought to murder people of their own volition which is a crime in and out of the US military. The US military as an organization does not deserve respect right now because for all the good that the US military does provide, it’s still being used in the other terrible ways that you mention when, right now as we speak, it has the potential to only do the good it’s already doing and so much more.

Back to me. I do recognize I am joining the military as it is now, not how I envision its potential. But I need to be a part of ending the bad ways militaries are used in, and joining the military is the only way I can get what I need to make the ideas for the military I talk about a reality. There are advantages in the US for joining the military that will at least get me in the position to try and change how the military is used. Mainly I am referring to education. That is how I will live with myself. Joining will actually be the first time I can try to truly live with myself since I first started learning about the terrible things the US military has done and continues to do because, yes, it has occurred since its inception and I need to be a part of anything that changes that since there appears to be no end in sight right now. Joining will get me there. Being a firefighter would not give me the resources I need for that, and neither would anything else I have seen while searching. It would help me save lives, but what about the lives of people who are victims of war, where the endless killing and societal destruction we’re talking about happens and has never stopped since the beginning of civilization?

Back to the US military being necessary. To prevent using the US military or any other military for war, war needs to be internationally outlawed. The US military, along with any military across the globe, could make that happen. Along with the risky life saving missions on the homefront, militaries could collectively be used to protect victims of war abroad and enforce outlawing war entirely, because it would need to be enforced. War is always a needless tragedy that could have been avoided if people respected other people’s freedom and right to live, but evil leaders will always try to use violence to enforce their will if they have the power to do so. So, as long as there are evil leaders, there needs to be a power that will always be greater than theirs, and the people part of that power will probably have to risk their lives by being a part of it.

[roscolux]

you will see something that the us military has done and it will be the most horrifying thing in the world. something that should be the catalyst for a complete upheaval of the system, for riots in the streets, for national mourning periods and rewritten textbooks and decades of reparations. and the whole time it's just a normal day for them. they did something like it yesterday and they'll do it again tomorrow. the lucky ones even get to come home and spend the rest of their lives getting discounts at the movies and applause at baseball games. and if you try to express any this to the average person irl they will act like you shot their dog in front of them

[stutybuty]

I’m joining the US military this year. I’m going to use this post to rant about my thoughts about it because I used to think the same thing and yet here I am.

There’s points in the comments about the good the military does, and when I learned of it that’s when I felt my calling clear as day and I knew this was the career I wanted to pursue. But this post is strictly about mistakes the military makes and even in light of the good I think the point still stands.

Not that the military doesn’t deserve respect from people; They put themselves in a very scary place with the purpose of doing what’s right. Not just the military, a lot more people in groups that help in this way like AmeriCorps, Peace Corps, Doctors Without Borders, etc. deserve a lot of respect imo.

It’s the fact that sometimes the power of the military is abused by leadership to create leverage through brutality. The US military especially should be used to create Freedom. Not through imperialism, but by creating spaces in other war torn nations where victims like children, the elderly, and women can feel safe again while the terrifying conflict they have no involvement in gets resolved. By creating supply lines and infrastructure that people desire when it’s needed for no cost. By providing people anywhere, without discrimination, with the means to access the healthy food, water, shelter, safety and education so that they can manifest their best life through Freedom.

There are other organizations that stand by this purpose, but I believe an organization like the military should still exist. The things that differentiate the other orgs from the military is the training the military goes through to be prepared to put their life on the line. There are dire circumstances in the US and abroad that require this. Someone should be able to help without being willing to die, but also sometimes helping means risking everything you have. This is why the two should coexist.

TLDR; I’m going to join the military, yet I think criticism for using it for needless brutality that only benefits one nation when it has potential to only benefit people across the globe is valid. Criticizing the people of the military is not. Criticize the people who decide what the military gets used for. IMO, the only difference between the military and the combined efforts of groups who are not militaristic who lend aid should be a question of whether or not the individual is willing to get trained to be put in situations that will risk their life.

[auroras-void]

Lot of words to say you're a fucking mark

[stutybuty]

Ok lil brah

[mousidy]

the state does not need to assign you a sex, nor does it need to keep inalterable record of it btw

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[scoes]

maintaining relationships with people is so difficult for no good reason. what are you supposed to do when you miss someone and want to talk to them more? Say you miss them and that you want to talk to them more? That's all bullshit

[medievalthymes]

my love language is the same as a crow. if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you

[fortuneaday]

[konoko]

[unilifewithjulia]

07.05.2026

There is a bittersweetness that comes with things ending; I've been mulling over it.

Another chapter over, and it feels like there's been too many chapters, but also not enough—feeling as if eternity passed, and just the beginning is starting.

Things are all haywire; messy; chaotic; jumbled, but also with clarity at the same time. A lot of things can't be deciphered, and I feel old and young at the same time. The conflict almost makes my head spin, heart ache, and bones groan—I almost don't know what to do.

I wish I knew what I was doing.

[midwinterarchives]

i am helping my ma declutter and i have never been more delighted than to find a cv and letter of motivation of hers from 2004 that are exclusively typed in comic sans.

[callizinc]

I think this upcoming summer is gonna be the one. I can feel it. This summer is gonna finally be It. This summer I'm totally finally gonna get my life together and start living. I'm totally gonna realize that I've simply been missing the key thing to being a real person all along and I'm Literallyyyyy gonna become so real and normal, It's literally going to happen, it's Totally going to happen. This time for sure, it's 100% absolutely going to happen this time, Just one more summer bro just one more, This time it's the one THIS TIME It's finally gonna happen. Isn't that right guys? Ahah? Guys? [A cold wind blows. A dark mist surrounds. In the background is the manifestation of a memory of my childhood of which I do not possess]

[ceruleanheaven]

how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free

[scorpionlafemme]

[kisxmesoft]