❀emotionally, I'm bruised❀ @stylesftnjh-blog - Tumblr Blog

Sep 20, 2016

Convalescence {hs au}, Chapters 1,2 & 3

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/83068216-convalescence-h-s-au

Convalescence; /ˌkɒnvəˈlɛsns/

time spent recovering from an illness or medical treatment; recuperation.

Harry Styles was one of the finest soldiers in his unit; he was respected by many and held a high rank. In his two and a half years of fighting in the war, he had never endured a horrific wound that had left him incompetent to fight for his country. But soon enough the inevitable strikes (because let's face it, you don't fight in a war without suffering from an injury) and Harry finds himself in an abnormal and tricky situation.

When he sustains his first major injury during an unfortunate event on no man's land, he's left to recover in a random military hospital in the east of France. Throughout his recovery there he encounters Eloise, a young and beautiful wartime nurse that assists him back to health. Feelings are developed and emotions are high,

but can a new relationship truly survive during a war?

Chapter one [prologue]

Harry Styles.

Being one of the best soldiers in a unit had its perks.

For example, everyone admires and respects you. Spending months on end in filthy trenches, cramped together with your fellow soldiers wasn’t an ideal situation. But the connections you make with the people around you are what make the situation a little more bearable. With everyone admiring me and respecting me, it makes it a lot easier to make friends.

I have made many friends in my two and a half years of fighting this war. Sadly not all my friends have made it to this day. We have lost so many people in this war that I have stopped counting. The amount of people I have lost that were close to me has thickened my skin. Nothing makes me cry anymore, I am numb to everything.

This is what being in a war does to people.

Shell shock impacts many of the soldiers that are caught fighting in the war. The sheer horror of the conflict has left many soldiers mentally unstable and even driven them to suicide. I would like to think I am not a part of the majority that suffers from shell shock, but shell shock affects people in more than one way. The main symptom of shell shock is hysteria and anxiety; something I do not suffer from. However, I do suffer from the insomnia caused by the trauma of fighting. I cannot go to sleep without the fear of nightmares plaguing my rest. Exhaustion is not a good look, even when you’re in the trenches.

I have been fighting this war now for way too long. Two and a half years surrounded by death and violence can mess you up in the head. I dream of going home but it looks like there’s no end to this war any time soon.

Today was like any other day in the trenches; wet, lethargic, dirty and cold. It was currently May in France and unfortunately that was the wettest month of the year. Rainfall levels were at its highest leading to an increase in the cases of trench foot. Luckily, I have only suffered from trench foot once and I did not have a severe case.

Right now I was trying to catch an hour’s sleep on a saturated and grimy fire-step. The feeling of filthy water seeping into my uniform and the fear of an attack while I was unconscious was what led me to my current state. I was unable to sleep, although I was absolutely shattered, and thinking about everything going on in this war.

Tonight there was a planned attack on the German trenches, which were just a mere 50 yards away from us. The small distance between the trenches did not ease my nerves on a surprise attack. I was always paranoid but I had every right to be.

“Styles, I hope you’re not sleeping on the job” a familiar voice chuckled from behind me.

“Sod off Liam, I’m just resting my eyes” I replied to one of my best mates in the trenches.

Liam hasn’t been here long enough for the trauma of the war to get to him. In fact, tonight’s his first raid. He’s only been out here for just under a month, but in the entire time he’s been here we have become best friends.

“Fair enough” I heard Liam say ever so quietly.

Before I knew it I felt the wooden fire-step creak beneath me and I felt the reassuring pressure of another body being pressed into mine. Liam released a big sigh before talking again.

“Haz, I’m nervous”.

“Don’t be”.

“Wow, you’re great at comforting people”.

“Thanks”.

Sarcasm was mostly what I spoke in nowadays; it seemed I was fluent in it. The lack of emotions makes my situation a little more tolerable.

“I need advice, Styles. Two years without any major injuries is an accomplishment, some men die on their first day here. Tell me how you do it”. Liam was eager for advice since the day he got here, especially from me when he found out about all my ‘accomplishments’.

I wouldn’t view two years with no injuries as an accomplishment. If there was no war it would be normal. But ever since this work has broken out, everything’s been nothing but abnormal.

“It’s actually been two years and seven months without any big injuries” I corrected him.

“Harry, please!”

I could tell Liam was getting annoyed with my unbothered attitude but at the moment I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep without any disturbance of nightmares or the fear of an attack.

“Liam I got nothing for you” I snapped “just stick with me during the attack and you’ll be ok… hopefully. Just leave so I can get some rest, I am knackered and you’re not helping”.

And with that, Liam walked away.

~~~~

The preparation for tonight’s attack was underway.

Most soldiers were training and warming up. Others were catching a quick nap or getting their weapons ready. But what was I doing?

Absolutely nothing.

I tend not to worry too much about preparing for attacks on the enemy. Most men tonight would probably be preparing for their death right now. I’m not trying to be pessimistic or anything; it’s just the cold hearted truth. We normally end up losing around one third of our men in an attack.

I was just wondering, making sure every man was doing what they’re supposed to be doing. I am a lieutenant which means I have a group of people under my control. I take pleasure in being in charge.

“Ten minutes” I shouted.

It was ten minutes to sun down signalling it was time for our attack. It’s always better to attack when there’s no sunlight, since your enemy won’t be able to see you coming.

Before I knew it the ten minutes were up and my men were in their positions ready to attack. It was important for us to gain our land back tonight. Also there were plans for us to take a German Hun back to our trenches for interrogation.

I refuse to take part in any of the interrogations. Even if they are the enemy, they don’t deserve the torture that will be put on them via my country. They are human and I can guarantee that they don’t want to be here as much as we don’t want to be here. This war was decided on by old men in an office, old men who will not be physically fighting for our country.

“I don’t want to do this” I heard someone say besides me.

No one comforts the person. It’s the way it’s always been. People have heard him but it’s too late for him to back out, it’s too late for any of us to back out.

“What was that, Rogers?” the field marshal bellowed at the poor soul.

“N-Nothing” Roger, I presume, stuttered back.

“Well shut your trap then, unless you want your balls blown off”.

After that everyone was silent, all waiting for the signal to attack.

Liam was stood right beside me with his rifle in hand. I could tell he was nervous by the way he was shaking. I knew he would be sticking by my side throughout all the events of tonight, not that I minded. It was nice to not always be alone.

I have done these raids now enough times for me to know what’s going to happen tonight. We’re going to lose men, hopefully gain one, and then go to bed thinking of the sins we’ve committed.

I have murdered people. Something I am not proud of. It’s not like I can do anything about it though since I am under strict orders. The punishment for disobeying the orders and commands were terrible. A single act of betrayal can lead to you being shot by all your teammates.

Suddenly, a gunshot brought me out of my thoughts and into the real word.

It had begun.

As soon as the shot went off my body went into instinct mode. I charged across No Man’s Land with all my fellow comrades beside me. I shifted my rifle from across my body so I was aiming at the German trenches ahead of us.

I shot mercilessly.

I didn’t think twice about what I was doing, I just did what my body told me to.

I ran across massive craters that were in the soil from explosions and jumped over barbed wire. I was just fifth teen yards away from the German trenches when I found a pile of upturned soil big enough to crouch behind of.

I ducked down so no Huns would see me. That was when I realised I had Liam beside me.

“What’re you doing?” he asked as he watched other soldier charge on into the German trenches; practically walking to their death.

I ignored his question as I position my rifle upon the soil. I took my stance behind the gun before shooting relentlessly at the Huns. This is what I was trained to do.

“Harry, I’m scared”

I could hear the hysteria in Liam’s voice but there was no time for comforting right not. I was so focused on shooting down the Germans that I had blocked out Liam’s voice.

That is until I heard him scream in nothing but utter fear and horror.

“HARRY, LOOK OUT!”

Before I knew it I had been hit.

First I felt the pain, the excruciating pain, and then I saw whiteness, which gradually faded to darkness. And just like, I was out like a candle.

Chapter 2

Eloise Beaufils.

Today has been chaotic.

After last night’s attack on the enemy the military hospital I worked at was packed full of wounded soldiers.

This was nothing out of the ordinary. This happened every time there was an attack; whether it was an attack on us or an attack on the enemy, it did not matter. There were no breaks for any of the staff at the hospital on a day like this. Everyone was getting tired and impatient and it was only one o’clock in the afternoon.

It was only one o’clock in the afternoon and I’ve already seen more people than I can count on one hand pass away.

This job had its struggles, but if you ignored the death and all I loved it. I enjoyed helping people. Watching soldiers regain their health before going back off to fight for our country made me feel significant in this war. My aim in my job is to bring some light back into the lives of soldiers. I know that experiencing war, violence and death was not good for their mental health so I did everything I could to make them feel at home.

I watched as more and more soldiers were brought through the doors of the hospital. I was supposed to be on my dinner break right now but with there being a demand for extra staff; I was tending one of the injured soldiers.

He was unconscious which was never a good sign. However, he didn’t seem to have any external bleeding besides a wound on his forehead. I checked his dog tag for any information on the immobile man.

Payne, Liam, J

33247, type - ab –

T – 2/44

Wolverhampton, Eng.

I wrote down all his information down on a sheet of paper before getting to work on the English soldier.

There was not much I could do apart from clean the small wound on his forehead before discovering if was in fact deep and would need stitches. After I had done everything all I had left to do was to put him in a safe position before leaving to help someone else. Everything had to be done quickly today because there were so many patients.

As soon as I exited the room, Adélie appeared out of the room opposite me before giving me my next orders.

"Eloise, Edmée a besoin de vous dans onze des chambres” she uttered in French barging past me, obviously in a rush.

- “Eloise, Edmée needs you in room eleven” -

I grunted, as exhausted as ever, before making my way to where I was needed.

At this point in the day I couldn’t wait to go home.

I entered room eleven in haste, not wanting to risk any time. It was crucial to always be on time, a second could go by and the life you’re trying to save could be gone.

“Eloise, get here” I heard Edmée call as I arrived at the correct room.

“I’m here, what’s happened?” I asked; out of breathe from all the rushing about.

Edmée was like a mother to me. I knew her like I knew the back of my hand, and I could tell something was seriously wrong by the emotion in her eyes.

She pointed to the hospital bed in the corner of the room where a very attractive yet heavily wounded. By the looks of it his leg was bleeding profusely, he was covered in mud and had a bump on his head. I stepped closer and pulled back the covers of his bed to reveal his leg.

Oh God, he’d be here for a long time.

There was a massive gash on his left leg with pus forming in and around the wound. It was clearly infected. To make matters worse I swore I could see a bone near his knee. It was all a gruesome sight but it’s what I’m used to.

“I’ve been told he’s the best soldier in his unit” Edmée murmured.

“And?”.

“The colonel wants him to have special treatment” She informed while getting supplies out to help cure this poor man.

“Must be someone special then, hmm?”

Edmée just hummed in agreement before getting to work.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Harry E. Styles, from what I’ve heard he’s a lieutenant. He’s been fighting this war for nearly three years and this is his first injury that’s left him incompetent to fight” she answered “Do me a favour, will you? Write down all the information from his dog tag on to a sheet please”.

I complied with no hesitance, eager to be of use.

I patted around his neck down before finding what I was looking for. With his tag being older than most of the soldiers here, it was a bit more difficult to read. The indents of the wording were full of grim from the war. I gave it a wipe down in the sink by the door before I was able to read anything.

Styles, Harry, E

13724, type - b –

T – 7/41

Cheshire, Eng.

“What’s his blood type? He’s going to need a blood transfusion” Edmée asked.

I replied with “B” before sprawling down all the information on a sheet of paper and sticking it in a folder at the end of the bed.

After I was done, I took a while to take in the actual appearance of the Adonis like soldier in front of me. He was undeniable prepossessing. His hair was shaved to the sides like any other soldier but the tuft of hair on top of his head had a curl to it. His jawline was dominant and sharp enough to cut diamonds. His lips looked perfectly plump and soft even in his sleep; all I wanted to do was touch them.

I haven’t been this attracted to a man in a long time.

“I called you in here because I wanted you to look after him. The colonel asked for the best treatment and I know you can do just that” Edmée explained out of nowhere, bringing me from my thoughts.

“What? Why?” I cried out. “You know I’m not the best nurse here. Cerise is the best nurse in the entire department, she more capable of looking after him”

“Physically, yes she’s more capable of looking after him. But, mentally? Three years of fighting a war must’ve traumatised him and impacted his mental health negatively” she interpreted. “I know what you’re like with soldiers, you care for them in a way I’ve never seen any other nurse or doctor do. You actually care about how your patients are feeling; this is the perfect job for you”.

What she said was true. Psychology and mental health used to fascinate me and if I ever had another job it would be as a psychologist. As I have said before, I strive to make the soldier feel better in more than one way. If they feel like they are at home, they will be comfortable and won’t worry over this stupid war.

“Let’s just get him cleaned up; by the looks of it he’s got a fever from the infection. When will he be up to take medicine?”.

“He’s been knocked out ever since last night. He should arise soon though”.

And with that, we began cleaning his injuries. Edmée worked on his puss filled gash on his leg (which I was thankful for) and I cleaned other little bumps and cuts he had all over his body.

Once I was finished, I left Edmée to cater the devilishly handsome man all on her own while I helped other soldiers that were in more need of medical attention.

~~~~

It was seven o’clock in the evening when everything calmed down. Soldiers with minor injuries were sent back to the trenches and those who had unfortunately passed away were taken away by the local Morgue.

I had just managed to have a break after handling a man with a severe attitude for an entire hour. I get it, fighting in a war can take a toll on your emotions but you don’t need to be a dick about it.

“Eloise” Adélie greeted me as she sat down in the break room.

Adélie was my best friend. I met her while training to be a nurse and we just instantly clicked.

I give her a nod before she asked “so how was your day?”.

“Chaotic” I mumbled in return while attempting to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I just wanted to go to bed.

“Tell me about it. I heard Edmée put you with one of the best soldiers” she chuckled. “God, I got a look of him today and he’s absolutely gorgeous. You’re a lucky lady”.

I laughed and slapped her shoulder playfully “shut up”.

We bantered back and forth and gossiped about our day for a good 20 minutes before Edmée came walking into the break room with an announcement.

“Your new patient is finally up. And he’s not in a good mood”.

Well that’s just perfect, another soldier with an attitude problem to ruin my day even more.

“Perfect, well I’ll be going to see how he is” I stood up, notifying my departure.

With that, I left the room and made my way to my patient. Harry E Styles. I quickly arrived at his room, desperately wanting to get this over with and go home. I was in no mood for moody patients, already fed up with my last one. Hopefully this Harry person changes his attitude when I give him his medicine.

“Good evening” I greeted him as I opened the door without knocking. That was my first mistake.

“You could’ve knocked” he spoke in a hoarse voice.

“Well, I’m sorry… Mr Styles” I quickly remember his name “but I’ve just came to give you your medicine, it appears you got a fever; a symptom of an infection” I explained pointed to his injured leg, that Edmée had wrapped up neatly.

I quickly gathered the medicine needed before walking over to his bed. That’s when I got a really good look at him.

His gorgeous green eyes stared up at me and I was suddenly lost in the beauty of them. Never have I met a man with such an intense beauty in his eyes.

The hair on top of his head was a mess from his rest, but that only added to the affect. It looked like he had sex hair and it sent my mind in spirals. Dirty thought after dirty thought were soaring through my mind and I was suddenly really thirsty.

This man was breath-taking.

I swiftly gave him his medication, desperate to get myself and my mind out of its current situation.

“What’s your name?” he suddenly asked out of nowhere.

“Eloise, I will be your nurse throughout your recovery here at the hospital” I answered.

“So, I’m taking it I will be seeing you a lot” He grumbled and I have him a nod.

He gave me a forced smile and sarcastically mumbled a “great”. And even though he was being rude, I found myself wanting to burrow in his dimples that appeared when he smiled.

“Unfortunately, Mr Styles. I shall be off now. If there are any problems there’s a buzzer besides your bed. Press it and one of the night staff will come. I’ll see you tomorrow, good night”.

I could already tell he was going to be a difficult one. Great, just great.

Chapter 3

Eloise Beaufils.

It was 8 o’clock in the morning when I stepped foot into the military hospital for another long day of work.

When I got home last night, I was flat out as soon as my face touched the cotton of my pillows and I dreamt about those gorgeous green that had rendered me speechless. The dream consisted of us doing the unmentionable and now I don’t think I’ll be able to look Harry in the eyes today after I had fantasised about him.

I still vaguely remember the way his lips felt upon my own, the way his tongue made my clit feel so good and how our moans collided together to create the perfect harmony.

What is wrong with me?! Snap out of it.

I don’t even know the man yet I long for him. He was an asshole to me yesterday, so why had I dreamt about him in such a way. I get it, he’s a gorgeous man and there’s no denying it. Maybe I have some dark issues going on where I fall for cocky assholes.

Anyway, today was a lot quieter than yesterday. I was able to have my morning coffee before I was swept away by my job.

“Eloise, why aren’t you working?” Edmée asked as I sipped away on my coffee.

I looked up to see her staring at me sternly. Had I done something wrong? She knows my morning routine here at the hospital and she has never complained about it before. I normally have a morning cuppa and some breakfast then I’m off to work.

“Having my breakfast?” I replied in the form of a question.

She let out a huff, clearly disappointed in me.

“I did not give you the job of looking after one of the finest soldiers, who is supposed to receiving special treatment, for you to slack off” she ranted.

“I’m sorry but I usually do this. And anyway, there’s not much I can do besides give him medicine and change his bandages”.

“Talk to him, like you do with other soldiers to make them feel better”.

“You don’t understand, he was an ass to me yesterday”.

“Eloise” Her stern tone told me I was treading on thin ice. “If you’re going to let someone’s attitude come in the way of your work you truly are being unprofessional. People are going to be rude in this industry. They’re obviously not going to be the happiest of people when they’re in distress”.

What she said was true. It also gave me hope that Harry’s attitude would be different today when he’s in less pain.

“You’re right” I sighed.

“Always am”.

“Okay, no need to get cocky” I replied jokingly.

I quickly downed my morning coffee before preparing for work. I left Edmée alone in the staff room before setting off for the canteen. If the colonel suggested Harry should have special treatment, then that’s what he’s having. He’d feast like a King this morning.

I picked up a breakfast that consisted of everything you could possibly want in the morning; cereal, toast, jam, croissants, etcetera. Harry’s probably been eating off of tinned food since he stepped foot in the trenches, so I hope he would appreciate the effort I put into getting him a good breakfast. Maybe this would even lighten his mood.

As I began making my way from the canteen to his room, nerves began to flutter in my stomach. Flashes of the dream I had last night swept throughout my mind and I started to wonder how I’d face him today after dreaming of him in such a way.

Unlike yesterday, I knocked on his door.

When I heard a husky “come in”, I stepped foot into the room.

His eyes met mine and the air was sucked from me. God, why did his eyes have to be so damn mesmerising? As I was studying his beautiful eyes, I realised there was a look of pain behind them. Clearly his leg wasn’t getting any better.

“Hi, how are you feeling today” I greeted him.

I sat the tray of food beside his bed and took a seat beside him.

“Like shit” he answered in a rough voice.

“Understandable”

“Is that for me?” he asked, pointing towards the food.

“Yes” I simply replied “Would you like to eat now and let me treat your wounds later or-”.

He cut me off before I could even finish my sentence.

“Treat them now please, I’m in agony” he pleaded.

“Okay”.

I sat up from my seat and dragged the blanket off from Harry’s leg. I began to unwrap the huge bandage from around his leg when Harry spoke.

“Eloise, right?”.

The sound of my name rolling off of his tongue sent shivers down my spine. It also reminded me of the way he moaned it in my dream last night. Involuntarily, I swallowed trying to rid myself of the memories.

I replied with a nod and attempted to focus on my work.

His leg was pulsing but the amount of puss surrounding the wound had decreased. The area was so swollen and was burning up when I touched it.

“Pretty name” he grunted through his teeth as a prodded as his wound.

His compliment sent me into a frenzy, and it became harder and harder to concentrate on what was important right now; tending his injuries.

“Thank you” I quietly responded, not wanting him to know his effect on me.

I hurriedly collected all the stuff I’d need to treat him. I dabbed some disinfectant on a cotton pad before gently patting it against his maim.

He winced in pain before speaking once again.

“I-I want to apologise about last night” He hissed “I was being a dick, a-and I’m sorry about it”.

This man was not the same man I met last night.

“It’s alright, I understand. You weren’t in a very good condition” I spoke.

He was silence for a while whilst I was still working on his wound. When I looked up at him to see if he was okay, I saw his eyes scrunched in agony and his hands for tightly coiled into fists. The skin on his knuckles was white from how hard he was flinching.

“Are you okay?” I asked worriedly.

He peeped one eye opening to look down at me before replying through his teeth in pain.

“Yeah, it just hurts a little”.

I laughed.

“A little? Looks like you’re in more than a little pain”.

He hummed, not wanting to talk no more, yet I could see the little tug on the corner of his lips. His mouth was threatening to break into a smile but he held it back. I could only dream of just how beautiful he’d look when he’d smile.

I finished my work on his leg and began to leave to get his medicine.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked urgently.

“To get your medicine, duh, it will help with the pain” I answered and gave him a little smile.

When I returned with his medicine and a glass of water, he was sat up straight with a small smile on his face. He was absolutely breath-taking; every time I saw him he took my breath away.

“Here” I handed him the glass of water and tablets he had to take. His hand brushed against mine when he took hold of the cup and pills. The small touch caused butterflies to swirl in my belly and sent a small burst of heat across my face.

I watched as he gulped down the water along with the pills. The little bops of his Adam’s apple made me thirstier than ever.

What is wrong with me? These dirty thoughts won’t stop.

“Well, I’m done here now. You can eat your breakfast in peace. I’ll be back later to check on how you’re, but if you need anything before then just give me a call” I explained while cleaning all the equipment I used up.

I saw him from the corner of my eye jump for the food beside his bed. It was like he hadn’t eaten within weeks. He was tearing into everything on his plate like a mad man. I had never seen someone eat so fast before, a minute or two had gone by and a quarter of his food was already gone.

“Hungry” I laughed.

He hummed. ”Yeah, I haven’t had a meal like this in years”.

A wave of sadness came over me. The realisation hit me that this man has fought a war for nearly three years with barely any breaks. He has suffered in dirty trenches filled with dirty rats and lice. He has been a victim to the harsh weather and bland food. He has watched people die, probably even witnessed some of his friends deaths. I felt immense sympathy towards this man.

“Thank you, by the way” he brought me out of my thoughts and mentioned to the food.

“It’s alright. Well, I best be off now. I’ll see you later”

And with that I left the room with thoughts of the green eyed man taking over my mind.

He was surely going to be the death of me.