BEAST Light Novel thoughts aka Dazai’s pain
I read @looking-for-stray-dogs’s (thank you!) translation of the light novel a few times (as many as my heart and head could take), and my thoughts and emotions are in an ugly mess. Here are some things I have been thinking about:
Dazai’s emotional and mental state in this universe
What kind of state must Dazai have been in to make such decisions?
I’m not sure if we know when exactly Dazai obtained the Book, but it had to be pretty early on, when he was still young (14-15 at the most). He never met Odasaku in the life he lived, but he knew how important Odasaku was to him in all the other universes. He knew that in all the other worlds, where they became friends, Odasaku always died and he lived.
But in the actual BEAST universe, Dazai and Odasaku never became friends. On top of that, Dazai made an enemy out of everyone else. So basically, the decision to save Odasaku in this universe was likely a combination of:
- The lack of any positive influence in Dazai’s life in BEAST universe. He didn’t have any friends, he didn’t even have Odasaku’s friendship which was what saved him in all other universes.
- His knowledge that in all other universes, Odasaku was the first person to pull him out of the darkness, but with Odasaku’s own life as sacrifice.
- The weight of knowledge from gaining insights into multiple universes, and the fact that he couldn’t share that burden with anyone.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that no matter in which universe, Odasaku was Dazai’s turning point. He had an enormously significant place in Dazai’s heart, due to the fact that he appeared in the darkest point of Dazai’s life, and introduced a light previously unknown to him. He was so special to Dazai that it was possible for him, in his most extreme state, to let go of everyone else to ensure Odasaku lived. Even in the canon universe, Odasaku was so significant in making Dazai see the light, that basically he had to die to force Dazai to look at life differently, to know the pain of losing a friend, to realize that even he who had grown tired of the world, could feel a tinge of heartbreak when what he treasured the most was slipping away from him. Odasaku had to leave to make room for others in Dazai’s world.
What happens if Dazai gets hold of the Book in the canon (ADA) universe?
I have to remind myself sometimes that Dazai in the canon universe is different from Dazai in the BEAST universe. That’s because in the canon universe, Dazai is less broken, emotionally and mentally. He has friends (even if he hasn’t really called them that), he can smile genuinely from time to time, and he is learning, little by little, the value of life and happiness. In the world of BEAST, Dazai was willing to sacrifice everyone’s life and happiness, including his own, for Odasaku’s sake. His idea of a “good life” was “a life with someone to say goodbye to”, and with “someone who would feel pain from the goodbye”. That’s an extremely flawed, hopeless and painful interpretation of a “good life”, benefitting someone who had known neither love, friendship, nor happiness. He was so lonely that as long as he knew there was a person who would reach out to him in another life, he would try his best to give them what they deserved, at the expense of himself and everyone who involved themselves with him.
The Dazai in canon, on the other hand, when faced with enemies as fearsome as the Guild, chose the plan in which no one had to be sacrificed, single-handedly prepared the next generation of Double Black to protect the city, and went through extra lengths, even getting himself arrested on purpose, to see through Fyodor’s plans to help his comrades in the ADA. Whether he did all this out of self-sacrificial heroic motivations is irrelevant; the important thing is he is not living for someone far away and unreachable. He is fighting for what he stands for in this moment: the Detective Agency, where he had at last found a home.
That’s why I think he would act differently even if he got hold of the Book, and gained knowledge of the different universes in the canon story. He would likely be able to share his burden with others, and choose a suitable solution to ensure the stability of the world without sacrificing people.
Atsushi’s totally unsuited for a violent organization like the Mafia.
Kyouka belongs in the light, always.
Akutagawa needs lots of love.
All these children just need so much love.
Dazai is capable of so much cruelty, and at the end of the day, the more he makes others suffer, the more pain he suffers himself. It seems like Dazai’s existence alone brings chaos to those around him, but only when his heart is chaotic. He’s a demon and a god, capable of both utter destruction and salvation. This is what convinces me that Dazai’s core is not evil. He doesn’t spread darkness for fun. He’s just been alone in the dark for too long.
Dazai always carries a heavy burden, and he suffers alone.
That’s enough suffering, bye.
annaxmalina
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
titsay
prguitarman
