Jules of Nature
trying on a metaphor
Show & Tell
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Product Placement
Sade Olutola
Game of Thrones Daily
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi
Xuebing Du
#extradirty
NASA
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
oozey mess
Keni
DEAR READER
taylor price
No title available
noise dept.
if i look back, i am lost
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@succubiome
Been working as a maid at this evil mansion for a month and nobody has even put me on a leash. Sex parties every night and I'm never invited or put on display. They don't even make me get down on my knees and lick the cum off the ground. They've just got me mopping up after everyone has gone home. With an actual mop!
haven't gotten many spam calls ever since I started doing the "try to unionize the workers" gambit each time I got a spam call would recommend
Okay but like. I personally could not resist walking through there. How do you NOT. it's a hole in the woods?? How do you NOT want to go over there???? Insane???
Logically, I know its a portal to the Fae realm. But I am powerless to resist, as the Fae intended.
*Looks at my life* "Ok so I'm the Fae's problem now? Cool."
Brother you couldn't keep me outta there.
@thebirdinator3000
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD UNMUTE
evil lich, bored, who finally reads over the dungeon trap blueprints they commissioned from an expert dungeon architect and finds that they installed a shitload of fetish scenario traps all over and summons them to their throne room for questioning
"So... in lieu of standard fare like, I dunno, spike pits, arrow traps, acid, even something as pedestrian as lava, you instead sprung for... hypnosis mist. Mutagenic carnivorous vines. Sex change pheromones... *squinting* drah- *squints harder* d-r-o-n-i-f-i-c-a-t-i-o-n slime? What even is that?"
stop making my post better >:\
"If you're upset, milord, I have a variety of suggestions for punishments you could inflict on me."
Inspired by this tumblr post. based on this twitter post
Ollie's doing her best. (bonus after the jump)
Where to read Ex*cute: Intruders (+18)
Chapter 1: Fuckbuddies who Fuck and are Buddies
Chapter 2: Fuck my life: The evil Duke who kidnapped me is not ravishing me
Chapter 3: Sentient Horny Robots Might not Be the best Suited for Battle
Chapter 4: (In progress)
AO3 · Itchio · Faneo
this is really cute and I'm surprised it took me this long to see it
L: While I appreciate all the help in hunting down Kira, given that you're one of our main suspects, I can't give you any more clearance, because if you were Kira, that's exactly what you'd want. Light: (He suspects me. I've got to throw suspicion off myself.) Light: That's a good point, L. I've always worried that you were Kira for precisely that reason. As leader, you'd have fairly easy access to everyone's names, so the risk would be very small. L: (Interesting. Is that the sort of argument Kira would make? But if he did, the problem is…) L: leans in closer, eating a bite from a cupcake L: If you believed that to be a possibility, you wouldn't bring it up with me alone, because if I were Kira… Light: (…he'd eliminate me immediately. It's nice how he doesn't need to say the exact words, because we're on the same wavelength.) Light: brushes cupcake crumbs off his shoulder with a slow and deliberate movement Light: That's not necessarily true. You need someone to pin suspicions on-- really, there's no other reason to bring me this close to this investigation. L: True. I suppose if you were absolutely sure I was Kira, you would've prepared some sort of eventuality for that. Light: (Kira would have, certainly… But Light would've had to as well. There's no reason to tip his hand if he was truly suspicious.) Light: At the very least, I'd leave a timed payload to reveal the truth about you to the world. L: A note to be released, in case of your death. Very clever. Light: smiles, seemingly genuinely Thank you. Light: (I seem to have thrown him off my trail.) L: In other words-- a death note. Light: DAMN IT!
I have never seen so much bot infighting
The line between kink and horror is measured only in cowardice
The line between kink and horror does not exist
A FELLOW BRAVE FRONTIERSMAN
the line between kink and horror isn't a line, its a venn diagram, and it looks like this
kink and horror are two snakes swallowing each other
please imagine robot girl omegaverse
I'm going to frame this in my house
Where do I find someone like this? (asking for a friend)
"Hey Tear, what's the greatest ingredient to put on all food?" Tear sighed, lowering her sniper rifle. They were supposed to kill their assassination target, not discuss the inanities Rip always seemed to want to. "We need to fulfill missions to get money to eat food, Rip. And it's pronounced Tear, not Tear." "That's what I said, Tear." Rip twirled the arrow in her free hand in such an intricate and complex way she fumbled, it fell out of her hand, and she had to bend down to pick it up. Tear couldn't help but smile a little. "Obviously cheese, Rip. Cheese goes on everything." Rip tapped the head of an arrow against the wall. "You'd eat gargonzola on chocolate ice cream?" "...No, not gargonzola specifically. Our target is seriously due here any moment, Rip, can we focus?" Rip grinned. "So you're saying cheese improves ice cream." "...No. But if I tell you to put melted cheese on food, I'll be right more often that not." "But not for ice cream," Rip insisted. "So you're wrong." "Not for most ice cream, sure." Tear was starting to get a little bit annoyed, and it was getting into her voice. She raised her rifle back to her shoulder, looking through her scope at the house their target was due to arrive at. "You should ask more specific questions if you want more useful answers. Can we focus now?" "What would you say would improve all stories?" Rip scratched the wall with the tip of her arrow. Tear gritted her teeth at the sound, and worse, the knowledge that Rip was damaging her ammunition for no reason whatsoever. "Most stories would be improved by rampant lesbianism. But not all." She wasn't going to fall into that trap again. Rip dropped her arrow, took hold of Tear's chin, and looked down into her eyes. "Let's see if this is one of them." "How are you so confident all of the sudden, when you were mnfg--!" Tear was cut off midsentence by Rip's lips. Rip pinned Tear against the wall as she kissed her passionately, maybe even among the top thousand kisses in history, passion-wise-- but certainly not the most pure, the way she was using her tongue. Their target cheerfully whistled as they walked into the house without knowing how close they had come to death-- but I suppose their target was never the point of this story, really.
I regret to inform everyone that if they write a fanfic that includes a polyamorous time-themed character, they are now contractually obligated to include the phrase "a clock has two hands!" somewhere in it
excerpt from "The Ozmapolitan" (Issue 5, Reilly & Lee, 1928) featuring Ozma's thoughts on becoming a girl
y'know when you're writing and you're like "okay be subtle, be subtle" and you keep writing and you're like "huh this is a little bit obvious but okay" and you keep writing and it keeps getting harder and harder to type subtle stuff and you're like "why is that" and then you look down at your hands and they've turned into large hams
Transfem horror protagonist who realizes she's a woman because she's the Final Girl
[Image ID. A three panel digital comic.
Panel 1. Shows five teens in a wooden cabin with boarded up windows. One o them sits with their head in their hands, thinking "Oh no, nerdy guys don't survive slasher films! I'm fucked!"
Panel 2. Later, a masked killer sits over one of the teen's body with a knife. behind them, the door is kicked open with a bang, revealing a silhouette . "Hey asshole!"
Panel 3. The nerdy teen from panel one. She is now wearing a skirt, a rainbow bracelet, pink cat years, and a blood splatter. Holding up a baseball bat, she says, "I've realized some things." End ID.]
modern heroine for the modern era, final T-girl
you start off the movie pre-slasher-o-clock with them in a car and blonde gal and brunette gal are talking about stereotypical girl stuff like makeup or giving guys blowjobs or whatever and blonde gal notices final girl is just intensely interested but not like in a horny way and raises an eyebrow at her and final girl quickly turns away
later they run across the cat ears and final girl looks at them but not picking them up and blonde gal teasing her about wanting to wear them which final girl vehemently denies
then they return to that location when like, half of them are dead, and final girl just is like "fuck it" and puts on the cat ears and blonde gal starts to reflexively and nervously tease a little and final girl is like "I'm going to die soon, can you let me have this?" and blonde gal lets it go
and later blonde gal is losing hope when she and final girl are alone together after brunette gal dies, and final girl tells her the final girl trope, not to worry, she's destined to live and blonde gal teases final girl, saying the world isn't tropes, but still gets some bravery out of it
and then later blonde gal is dying from a competent but risky plan she came up with to kill the slasher that failed, and final girl is trying to help her to a safe location but she's fading quick and is like "hey, you wanna borrow my skirt?" and final girl is like "…what?" like defensively she thinks she's being teased and blonde gal is like "hey, we're all going to die anyways, if you wanna wear it, wear it. who else is around anyways? are you scared the slasher is gonna tease you?"
so she does
and after putting the shirt on she's basically along the lines of "fuck this. social disapproval was scarier than death to me, and I got past that. maybe I'm the final girl, maybe that's just a dumb trope, but I'm at least going to try to avenge my friend and live."
also to complete the queer morality tale version of slasher thing
they're going to an abandoned campground and it turns out it was actually one of those camps where it was like "pray away the gay" and one kid internalized it really toxicly and killed a bunch of other queer kids before drowning with their body never being found (the killer)
brunette seems nice if like, not accepting of "weirdness", "hate the sin not the sinner" sort of thing but she dies first because she gets to the car and rather than drive into the camp to get everyone per the plan, she decides her life is more important than "those weirdos", and tries to drive off abandoning them, but then gets killed when their skillsets would each have consecutively saved her (heavy-handed solidarity metaphor)
book guy is like, openly accepting of everyone queer except gay men from the beginning, and then as then movie ramps up, he and jock guy keep on having more intense eye interaction and attraction that jock guy tries not to focus on, but book guy is kinda shitty about and then they almost kiss and he pulls back and shouts about not being gay and jock guy is like "hey chill" but book guy is not letting it go and this draws the attention of the killer who stabs him through the wall
jock knows he's bi but is on the DL about it, not exactly ashamed but like, he thinks he draws power from being mainstream and accepted he thinks that this power is real, and keeps on taking charge despite not being suited for it in the situation, kinda "alpha energy" kinda thing, and his misplaced confidence makes things more dangerous for everyone after blonde gal's plan fails and she gets stabbed, he's like "okay, take her to safety, brunette is surely back with help by now" and final girl is like "I think we need to get to the first aid kit or blonde gal's gonna die" but blonde gal insists she can do it and jock insists that he's right and final girl is kinda cowed under Psyche — Today at 9:07 AM anyways final girl ends up being the one who's chasing the slasher in like a slasher horror sequence for the slasher where she's like the unstoppable force
and slasher is like "why have you forsaken your servant, God, I'm doing what you want" and prays before a gigantic cross and final girls cuts the ropes holding it up, and it falls forwards and crushes the slasher
first girl comes back with first aid kit and bandages up jock helps him to the car that brunette crashed(driving skills were not her thing)
movie ends with them driving away as jock laments trying to take charge and blaming himself for everything and final girl is like "maybe, but you're not really helping anything by beating yourself up right now" and diverts him into talking about blonde gal instead, who he feels particularly guilty about but it becomes more about their past and how he loved her and things he cared about book guy too
