taylor price
sheepfilms
$LAYYYTER
roma★
almost home
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
titsay
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
@theartofmadeline
wallacepolsom
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Jules of Nature
Claire Keane
Cosmic Funnies
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pixel skylines
ellievsbear
🪼
official daine visual archive
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@suddenwordsneezes
simon's brothers
Wilford: that's a weird fuckn dog you've got there.
Rocky: There are no pets on this ship.
Wilford: What is that thing then? *pointing at Grace*
Ryland: *really starting to question reality at this point" wha-?? I'm pretty sure I'm human.
Wilford: You keep telling yourself that, buddy.
I had a dream about Columbo at a drag show. This is what came from it.
I'm waiting for him to explain to me how his newfound love of drag allowed him to prove I killed my business partner
it turns out your buisness partner had a secret night life of being a drag performer. Columbo found what he initially thought was a long golden hair not belonging to anyone known to be involved, until tests came back for it being made of nylon and likely to have come off of a wig.
under the microscope the hairs had evidence of having been re-styled with curling iron multiple times.
the dress closet at your coworker's home had one wig holder empty. the closet was otherwise well stocked and organised in such a way that there wouldn't be an empty space there for no reason. Which brings up the question of where that wig could have gone. it wasn't at the crime scene. Secondly what kind of drag queen only grabs the wig and not the rest of the outfit?
So I went back to the closet to see if I had missed anything. and I did. there was dress that smelled different than the others. more industrial and less flower. that dress had remnants of a plastic tag strip still pinned through the frabric at the breast. So I called up every drycleaner in town to ask about the dress. big fancy thing, one of a kind.
I found a cleaner who recognised it but could only provide a date of service as the person who brought it in payed in cash and the cameras were on the fritz. the date that that dress was brought in to be cleaned had to have been after the victim had already been dead for a couple of days. I told him it must have been a ghost.
The thing is, the cleaner had no reccord of a wig having come in with the dress. And the person that brought it in could never fit into a gown that size.
So we have a missing wig and a chemically cleaned dress.
The people at the club that your coworker used to frequent said that she never made it to the schedualled show time.
Which got me thinking that, between him leaving the office and the show that night something happened.
I drove the route between here and there having a good lookaround and wouldn't you know it. I found one of your coworker's high heels. He still has both feet so the other on has to be somewhere.
Then I remembered that you fixed that odd squeeling that your car was making. Like there was something awful stuck between moving parts somewhere. I looked around your garage and wouldn't you know it? The other heel was in the trashcan. So I had the boys check out your car. They found more wig hairs twisted up in the tire parts.
The Victim's body was found wearing a suit. So either somebody changed his clothes, or he wasn't in drag when he was killed but had the clothes with him.
the fire pit in your back yard had what appears to have been the burned remants of canvas and a melted zipper. not my choice of kindling but you do you.
Everything we have found so far all leads back to you. We are missing one thing, and that is the motive.
Funniest (fantasy) way to find out you're trans I think. Assigned male by ancient prophecy
You cant be in the closet theres a fucking prophecy. You have to kill the dragon.
Plot twist: the dragon is trans too and the hero helps them realise it; "kill the dragon" meant "kill the dragon's old name"
What about keeping the dragon as a trans thing but instead of the literal transness it's like that one story with the cursed dragon prince getting peeled out of his birth skin?
The being a dragon thing being the result of a similar family trait, where the first born son wasn't as lucky as the protagonist, seen as a dark omen.
They transformed into the dragon as a defense mechanism but then stayed that way for so long that it practically consumed their body like a bad scar.
The Protagonist arrives, they get into a bloody battle, the protagonist lands what should have been a fatal blow. The flesh of the dragon peels away, freeing the crying prince from it's core.
a metaphor for a battle between conflicting life philosophies and an argument for forging a better life going forward.
one of those messy moments of enlightenment; where you realise that you have been carrying this unnessicary burden your whole life for very little reason other than assuming you had to, and now you have let go and it hurts like hell but it is much needed.
shedding everything that society has built you into being, and finally becoming yourself.
Then both the protagonist and the prince move out, get an appartment together as friends, and get sick tatoos.
as fun as having them get all romantic and have a traditional happy ending would be, it's a bit unfitting. However happy ending of becoming life long friends platonically and finding partners elsewhere if they need them might work. it would be kind of weird to cercumvent several cases of story prophecy only to then succumb to the "and then they fell in love and had several children together as a married couple" thing. Still very much gay and happy together, just not gay for eachother. it avoids the potential bagage of unhealthy "trauma bonding" or savior dynamics.
tumblr made an oopsie
Stop me if you hate the concept: short, fat, hairy lady gets isakai'd into a high fantasy, and instead of "oh look at all these ethereal elves woe for I am but a flawed mortal" routine she lands in Dwarf territory and is immediately revered as the most enchanting and desirable maid in all the land. This immediately becomes a zesty romantic drama. Thoughts
I would like to tack on that Dwarf beards are gender neutral.
Short and round very hairy bearded lady isn't all that odd. However I think Dwarves have tougher skin than humans do. So dropping in a human woman that meets Dwarf beauty standards then having her be the softest they have ever seen might be Dwarf catnip.
They could even see her as a goddess due to the mysterious and abrupt arrival.
Similarly miles away in an Orc village a small and fragile looking lady has somehow managed to brutally kill the previous leader in close quarters combat. Which means that she is the new leader.
Yet again a different women, a school teacher, is currently restructuring all of Goblin society. It turns out that these guys used to be a major society with actual laws and and art, education, and stuff, but wars and other pressures including a plague have dealt major damage. Basically in a process of rebuilding and one of the key things that they need is person good at talking to get everybody on the same page. (these goblins are a magic race similar to the cat or bird peoples in dnd. not meant to parallel any irl peoples or situations.) These goblins are like the size of house cats and are about as strong. Pretty much anyone with magic resistance can come in and wreck their shit at any moment and they can't do much other than try building things better the next time and making friends. So having the big intimidating lady around does a lot through presence alone.
As for why women are getting sent to this world, there could be one really gross wizard trying to pick out a wife for himself. After going through every woman in his world he started searching through the next one by one at random. He doesn't want to leave the wizard hole, so instead he summons a woman to his study. Then when he ultimately doesn't like what he sees of yet another person, magically launches them out of the house to who knows where. So one pent up and picky wizard unknowingly starts a new era of social and economic prosperity.
The chatter surrounding these mystery women falling from the sky and a series of coincidences and genuine skill place them into leadership roles of various kinds, and some are even worshipped.
The wizard however gets to see none of this as he is still forever trapped in his wizard hole by his own flaws and refusal to change.
There are a lot more women than shown here but all of them have found interesting spots to land in.
"If dolphins can manually drown themselves then why can't we?
Answers to these questions and more on This Paranormal Life!"
"I'm pretty sure people can and upsettingly often do. So, I don't know what you are talking about."
"You've got it wrong. I'm talking about how like Flipper chose to stop breathing an just you know sank to the bottom of the tank. Drowning might not be the right word. I mean like holding your breath for so long you die eventually."
"I mean, people have done that before. Then again it's usually the head trauma from passing out and hitting the ground that does it. So I guess you are on to something."
new species of dog found: The afgan hound
- it is literally a shrimp
- mainly eats random bits of debris that it finds on the ground
- will be a friend for life if you feed it curry
- slick oily carapace that prevents predation by eagles and hawks
- listens to EDM and trance music
i don’t remember who said it cause it was a while ago but one time SOMEBODY said that if gillion hadn’t been strictly set on the path of a paladin/sorcerer, that he’d be a bard. (what with his clear affinity with and love and respect for music and musicians.) and i wholeheartedly agree, and i was going through some stuff i had previously reblogged and found THIS post
Speechless
and something occurred to me and i hope you’re picking up what i’m putting down
That or the alternative, he’s a bard that can’t play the instrument he uses so in practice he is technically a rogue with a weird gimmick.
Gillion with a penny whistle: HEY GUYS LISTEN TO THIS NEW SPELL I JUST LEARNED!!!
[Proceeds with the loudest most shrill note that leaves several people momentarily incapacitated]
Chip: WHAT SPELL WAS THAT EVEN MEANT TO BE?!
Gillion: It’s another pain one! 😃
transmasc genlossboo where he just one day finds out the showfall scars on his chest are top surgery scars and remembers he's trans
Sneeg: That’s cool and all but we’ve all been to the bathrooms here more than once. Did... Did they erase your memory of your entire lower half or something? Not to judge or anything but I feel like if I were in your position I would have noticed something was amiss sooner, that’s all I’m saying. Like if I woke up missing a hand or something.
Ranboo: I don’t know. Without the bagage of knowing my past, things have just felt so natural that it didn’t cross my mind.
Charlie: Missing limb? Well that sounds like a genuine loss.
Sneeg: ...
Ranboo: ...
Charlie: Okay, I’ll go sit in the corner now.
Ranboo: ...
Sneeg: Anyways. If Showfall is giving out free penises I want to get a second one.
Ranboo: Why?
Sneeg: I think it would be funny.
Ranboo: I mean yeah, but that seems like it would be annoying after a while.
Sneeg: Look, man, you either commit to the bit or you quit.
Ranboo: I don’t think that’s the healthiest of mindsets to be having here.
Charlie: You literally dug through my guts because you misheard that there was a key inside of me, I don’t think you are in the position to say that.
Ranboo: That wasn’t a bit, and I legitimately thought I was going to be killed if I didn’t solve the puzzle!
Charlie: Great to know that you are so selfless.
Sneeg: That’s an extra ten minutes in the time-out corner.
Charlie: I hate both of you so much right now.
Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.
I'm trying to prove something.
Reblog if your blog is a safe place for asexuals.
CONCEPT: C!Quackity dressing up as a salmon to seduce C!Wilbur
Even better is Quackity dressing up in the stupidest outfit imaginable and inadvertently seducing Wilbur.
Wilbur: No. Absolutely not doing this today. Change. now.
Quackity (completely caught off guard wearing a poorly put together butterfy costume, covered in blood, holding the severed head of a dolphin): I’m kind of in the middle of something.
Wilbur: There is no way you made yourself look this hot without trying.
Quackity: *appalled* Wilbur, what the actual fuck is wrong with you. No, a group intersected my ocean shipments and are currently trying to kill me. Are you seriously bricked up right now?
Wilbur: [subtly moves coat to further hide himself] *deadpan and flat tone* Maybe.
Quackity: Really?? I have been trying to seduce you for literal years and this? *gestures* This is what gets you?
Wilbur: *Blatantly lying* No.
Quackity: Actually I don’t know what I expected. I mean, you are the guy that got knocked up by a river salmon.
Wilbur: And you are trying to seduce me for what reason?
Quackity: Like I am going to just tell you that.
Wilbur: Oh so now that you have my interest this suddenly isn’t what you wanted?
Quackity: No- yeah - no. I’m covered in the blood of like fifteen dolphins that were trained using meth. This is the opposite of setting the mood for me. [peeks out door to check that nobody has shown up yet]
Wilbur: Well that’s disappointing.
Quackity: There is something seriously wrong with you, you know that right?
Wilbur: Yeah, I thought that was pretty obvious given the whole explosive caches and such. You don’t have to be a jerk about it.
Quackity: I was more talking about your sexual deviancy but I guess that too.
Wilbur: I am a man of many trades.
Quackity: Right.
In that moment, you were both thinking the exact same thing.
In that moment the mood grew tense with the weight of realization that the other had the same grasp on the experience.
“This isn’t the elevator for the building.”
Yes while you both did enter the lift through the office building, in the hustle and bustle you both failed to notice that the design of this unit was old. Not just old, older than what should ever have been in that building considering that it was constructed only a few years ago. You had gotten so used to your routines of entering the real elevator every day for months that you failed to see the incorrectness of it all.
hours passed, no reception and no help arrived. Naturally you both started to wonder what was happening. Your boss pried the shutter doors open enough to peek out. Darkness. outside the doors at very least was pure darkness that would have been impossible if you were in any sort of shaft like this considering the bright lights inside. You should have been able to see something, a cable or perhaps concrete. Yet there was nothing. Nothing more. All that you had was the contents of the elevator box, each other, and yourselves. Nothing more.
*whiskey being poured into a glass with ice*
*tilting the glass around carefully so that the ice clinks*
Wilford: hmm yes. Whiskey. Food of the gods.
*sips drink*
Wilford: - Or it would be if it wASN'T FUCKING APPLE JUICE AGAIN!
*throws drink at wall shattering the glass*
*gun cocking*
Wilford: wait here darling, Daddy has to go do something.
*kisses microphone*
*sounds of Wilford running out of the building, getting further away from the microphone.*
*silence*
*several distant gunshots*
*silence*
*Wilford is suddenly back at the desk.*
Wilford: Now. Where were we?~
- “I spent ten hours making couscous and that monster refuses to eat any of it.”
- [waffle iron bursts into flames] “... I can work with this.”
dream smp boys react to you having a tapeworm
dream: *turns away to hide his blush* i’ve always wanted a partner with a tapeworm….
george: DONT JOKE ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sapnap: *goes yandere* i-i’m the only one allowed in your guts!!!!!!!!
tommy: tch… thats so fucking unepic. we’re through [y/n]. you lose the internet. kek.
skeppy: you werent suppose to know about that. *slaps you around*
fundy: this is such a pain in the ass.
badboy: *halo*
ponk: umm……… okay
quackity: *slurps the tapeworm out of your mouth and into his stomach* mmm!! yummy snack. thanks [y/n]
welcome to the rapture
Schlatt: I told you not to eat that pork rare, bro.
Wilbur: [this section has been censored for the sake of maintaining sanity. just know that what he said here was absolutely vile.]
Foolish: Can we talk about this later? I’m kind of busy trying not to be killed right now and I can’t seem to find my crazy glue.
Charles: Quackity told me that people aren’t supposed to be eating office supplies. I would be lying if I said that I did not also succumb to the temptation of various adhesives.
Philza: FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP EATING RAW MEAT! YOU ARE GOING TO GET SICK AND DIE FROM DYSENTARY OR SOMETHING, JESUS!
Ant: You will not be entering god’s kingdom for you have been tainted by the beasts of the earth, unfiltered and raw, the blood has left you forever stained.
ranboo: oh, um, okay…. what’s her name?
tubbo: that’s cool!! we can all be friends together ^^ what kind of music do worms like?
techno: pick a god and pray that it has worm parents
tntober day 2: beach
Charlie (some distance away): I can't hear you I am too far away from the shore!
Quackity: I said you're too far out!
Charlie: Hold on let me swim closer so I can hear you!
[Charlie tries swimming back only to recall that he got there because a riptide caught him and he is uncertain as to how to get out]
Charlie: Uh Oh. Quackity! The ocean has claimed me and won't let me go!
Quackity: God damn it. Wilbur, I think we are going to have to call the coast guard to get Charlie.
Wilbur (previously distracted): What? wait. OI! THE FUCK YOU DOING ALL THE WAY OVER THERE, CHARLIE? YOU"VE GOTTA SWIM DIAGINAL TO THE CURRENTS!
Charlie: Okay!
Quackity: I should have kept a better eye on him.
Wilbur: You gotta remember, he is an adult slime, not a vertebrate. I'm sure he'll be fine.
Charlie: Aw, sweet! Jellie friends! Have you eaten any good fish lately? Maybe some floating particulate?
Quackity: Yeah, I guess you're right. I worry about him sometimes.
Wilbur: You worry about me too.
Quackity: I absolutely do not.
dream smp boys react to you having a tapeworm
dream: *turns away to hide his blush* i’ve always wanted a partner with a tapeworm….
george: DONT JOKE ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sapnap: *goes yandere* i-i’m the only one allowed in your guts!!!!!!!!
tommy: tch… thats so fucking unepic. we’re through [y/n]. you lose the internet. kek.
skeppy: you werent suppose to know about that. *slaps you around*
fundy: this is such a pain in the ass.
badboy: *halo*
ponk: umm……… okay
quackity: *slurps the tapeworm out of your mouth and into his stomach* mmm!! yummy snack. thanks [y/n]
welcome to the rapture
Schlatt: I told you not to eat that pork rare, bro.
Wilbur: [this section has been censored for the sake of maintaining sanity. just know that what he said here was absolutely vile.]
Foolish: Can we talk about this later? I'm kind of busy trying not to be killed right now and I can't seem to find my crazy glue.
Charles: Quackity told me that people aren't supposed to be eating office supplies. I would be lying if I said that I did not also succumb to the temptation of various adhesives.
Philza: FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP EATING RAW MEAT! YOU ARE GOING TO GET SICK AND DIE FROM DYSENTARY OR SOMETHING, JESUS!
Ant: You will not be entering god's kingdom for you have been tainted by the beasts of the earth, unfiltered and raw, the blood has left you forever stained.
