Shin Sum0Kum0

new adventures of The 30 something kaiju Bear. solve any crime by dinner time. Body lives in Los Angeles. is a weird gay duder

[en-futubandera]

[soulrama]

Yoooo he just changed the game

[grfygrf]

Oh, this is really neat, this is the same thing they did in Sh! The Octopus in 1937 to do this transformation scene. In black & white, the color of your light can hide makeup, then all you have to do is flip the color, and the audience just sees the difference in the light levels, but cannot see the color shift. The quick explanation for why this works is the blue makeup absorbs red light, looking very dark when only red light is present, but also looks about the same as relatively fair skin when only blue light is present. Same goes for the colors the other way.

[espanolbot2]

Ahh, I think that they had this in one of the early Jekyll and Hyde adaptations as well. :)

[foone]

Twilight Zone used this trick too, in The Howling Man, where this guy morphs into the Devil.

And again in Long Live Walter Jameson, where this guy loses his artificial youth

[injuries-in-dust]

I think the first time it was used was Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in 1931.

[thespectacularspider-girl]

God, I love practical effects

[hero-in-high-tops]

@artemispanthar

[willgrahamscock]

Hey did you know that you can’t escape fatphobia even after death? The article talks about how these donated bodies are used for first year anatomy students to study the body, and how the 'perfect' body for that should be 170-180 pounds.

[willgrahamscock]

“The storage is one issue, but when you are obese, there’s a lot of tissue everywhere. The students don’t get as good a learning opportunity.”

"That program limits donors to between 170 pounds and 180 pounds, though an exceptionally tall donor might be allowed at 190.

“It’s the maximum our equipment will handle,” Powers said.

Sounds like they just need newer and better equipment?

"Obese bodies are more difficult, time-consuming and unpleasant to study, said Wade, who also heads his state’s anatomy board."

Ah yes, we've arrived at the real reason..

[willgrahamscock]

Quick question, if fat bodies are not accepted as potential cadavers for medical students to study on then what are the consequences for that?

Fat people are dismissed medically and are told to lose weight before even getting a chance to be examined. While alive. Then are rejected for further study after death. How many people died and will die because medical professionals are missing potential problems that could be diagnosed?

[thefatterdrake]

I would think that it shouldn’t matter how fat someone is. Learn from them. Learn what the body looks like at 200 lbs, at 300 lbs, at 400 lbs.

if you can’t provide care for someone because you find their body/religion/sexuality unpleasant, find a different career.

You’re entering a career where you’ll see blood and pus and every other body fluid made by human beings. Some extra adipose tissue should t be that shocking.

[curioscurio]

Christmas Milkers

[were--ralph]

oh but i say this in a text post and i get the weird looks and side eyes

[gods-no-longer-tread-here]

very big difference between "Santa's milk comes from his tits" and "Santa births presents AND the milk comes from his tits"

[were--ralph]

i never said that

[furbyfiend27]

Liar.

[were--ralph]

photoshop

[kaejer]

It’s Tuesday mah dudes.

[blessedpanda]

Toony Big bur sticker.

I had this laying around for a bit.

[ladybender]

...Would you fuck a clone of yourself?

[themadcapmathematician]

This is the first time ive seen this meme used and it wasnt only in character but also literally sounds like actual dialogue from the series itd paired with

[angelofalls]

Tiger Mask II (タイガーマスク二世)

[averagefairy]

I still love this website so much because it feels like the last connection we have to an internet that doesn’t exist anymore like I can come on here and scroll through posts that are literally just funny or beautiful or interesting with no intention to sell me something or influence me we are all just here for a laugh. Nothing is just for laughs anymore EXCEPT tumblr dot com

[wenchofthescullery]

Aye, this. This.

[dama624]

I can't get this gun design out of my head it's so silly

[thebeautyofbigger]

[sum0kum0]

Hey it's me

[frottinq]

Do you ever interact with someone and you realize “this person has never had to consider or think about what their place in the world is, and why they believe certain things or act certain ways, this person has never considered society at length” and it’s just terrifying

[kushblazer666]

crt nostalgia is really funny to me because it makes total sense why everyone switched to lcd flat panel screens as soon as the tech came along

[kushblazer666]

cathode ray tube televisions are full of lead (because otherwise they would give you turbo cancer), they weigh One William pounds (because they are full of lead), it’s very hard to make them big (because they need to contain a vacuum to work), if you break the glass they Fucking Explode (because they contain a vacuum), and if you poke the wrong thing inside them (even when turned off) you will be electrocuted by hundreds of volts. clearly this is superior to the 50 inch 4k flatscreen i can pick up brand spankin new at best buy for a cool two hundo bucks because it makes me feel like christmas in 1998

[thebeautyofbigger]

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[historicaltimes]

Cleaning women washing a crucifix, 1938

via reddit

[thewolfbroughtindoors]

Me, thinking they’re hosing an emaciated child down the stairs: oh jesus…

Me, realizing it is in fact our lord and savior on the cross: oh, Jesus…

[writing-prompt-s]

There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isn’t forbidden because it’s inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - it’s just forbidden because it’s annoying as heck to fight against.

[hestia-and-the-court]

“Ma’am, I really must insist that you pay for the room and board I’ve been giving you! It’s been a week!”

“Fine, fine,” I grumble. “I have a few options for payment: I could give you paper money, cheap gaudy jewelry, chocolate coins, spiders, some pretty seashells-”

“Spiders????” he repeats, baffled.

“Spiders it is, then,” I agree equitably, and with a wave of my hand the bed I’ve been sleeping in for the last week turns into a writhing mass of various spiders.

Worth it.

—

“Stop right there! You’re under arrest for fraud, destruction of property, and-!”

I yawn. “Didn’t ask, don’t care.” A few gestures, and the guards’ swords are all transmuted into spiders, and then they’re too busy to worry about little ol’ me.

—

“You have insulted my honor and humiliated me in front of my children! I demand satisfaction! I demand a wizard’s duel!”

Shrugging, I say, “Sure, okay, whatever. Right here and now okay?”

The pompous wizard-noble blinks. “I- you don’t want to prepare? Get your wizard’s staff or anything?”

“Nah, I’m pretty good with somatic gestures.”

“Well, if you’re sure… here and now then! Have at you!” He slams his staff down on the ground dramatically, a small shockwave of fire radiating out from the impact.

So of course, I turn his staff into spiders.

“AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK”

“So if you’re too busy screaming to cast spells, does that mean I win?”

“AUGH ONE OF THEM BIT ME”

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

—

After that, they start coming at me in waves, with cheap wands and staves and swords and bows bought in bulk, hoping to exhaust my magical reserves so they can get close enough to put a magic inhibitor on me.

They did not expect my reserves to be as vast as they were, not did they expect me to be able to transmute the inhibitors themselves into spiders.

“Didn’t you take Magic Basics in wizard college?” I yell at the panicking mages. “Inhibitors aren’t immune to magic until the moment they activate! Serious weak point in the design, tell your magitechnicians to fix that!”

—

So of course they try assassins next.

Poison fails, because I transmute any food and drink I get into spiders and then transmute them back. Pretty easy way to get rid of poison.

So then they try knives in dark alleys. The knives bruise through my full-body spider-silk outfit, but do not penetrate, and they only get one shot before they have bigger problems.

Next is killing me in my sleep. None live to report back that the human-shaped lump under the blankets is actually a mass of highly venomous spiders.

The kingdom throws everything it has at me, and I continue to walk away, heralded by the chittering of spiders and the screams of everyone else.

—

Finally, I stand before the king himself in his overly opulent throne room, and by now he is a broken shell of a man in the face of my unorthodox tactics.

Good.

“What do you want?” he practically sobs. “You’ve singlehandedly redirected the entire crown’s budget for the next three years into replacing every weapon you’ve turned into spiders. Much more and we’ll be invaded by our neighbors! We wouldn’t be able to resist being annexed! So what can I give you to make you stop doing this?!”

I pause and pretend to consider, tapping a finger against my chin thoughtfully. “You know, you sent my brother off to war a few years back. That conflict with the Yughs up north, I believe. He didn’t want to go, so your guards forced him at spearpoint. I haven’t seen him since.”

He seizes on that, as I expected. “Yes, yes, I’ll have him returned right away! Tell me his name and I’ll honorably release him from duty and have him escorted safely home!”

“Oh?” I raise one sardonic eyebrow. “Are you able to bring back the dead now, oh wise and glorious king?”

He pales, and it’s the most satisfying thing I’ve seen in years.

“You have nothing I want,” I growl, letting the anger slip through for the first time in years. “You cannot bring him back, you cannot make up for my loss with all the riches in your kingdom. The only thing I want is to take everything from you, the way you did to me. Your kingdom will bleed out of resources, one of the neighboring countries you’ve been trying to conquer for decades now will take advantage and annex this place, and you will either be executed or forced to work for a living for the first time in your life.”

I glare at him, and he refuses to meet my eyes. “You will lose everything you ever cared about in your life. One spider at a time.”

I transmute his throne and crown into spiders (non-deadly; he doesn’t get to escape my wrath that easily), then turn and walk away, ignoring his screams and sobs.

—

And that’s why, when the Yughs finally annexed the kingdom I grew up in, they preemptively made Transarachnomancy a forbidden magical art. Not sure how they intend to enforce that, mind, but I’m not looking to challenge that. I’ve gotten what I wanted; if some other aspiring mage wants to try and follow in my footsteps, that’s not my problem.

Besides, in terms of magical skill, I’ve always been an outlier anyway. Most mages would be lucky to turn just one knife into a spider at a time; I can turn ten thousand with a few gestures. I doubt anyone will outdo my legacy.

But hey, if you want to try and surpass Georgia of the Spiders? Feel free. I’ll welcome the competition.

[adamsmasher]

[vee-dmsr]