I don't know how I didn't come upon this sooner, but I'm really glad I did. Sharing this because it is a good tool to approaching a loved one that you think is considering suicide. Also for people suffering suicial ideation that want to convey how they are feeling.
https://emmengard.com/2019/05/07/suicide-scale/
We recently lost a friend to suicide. Our best friend, Megan, and us, actually made this scale together years ago. We have used it to help e
I am retired!!! I retired in October of 2017 and have kept my promise not to exchange my labor for money.
Since 2017, I have only done stuff that I thought was interesting or useful regardless of whether it pays, because we have more than enough money, and despite what billionaires might tell you, there is literally no difference between "more than enough" and "much more than enough."
So I no longer work for money. But in retirement one must keep busy, which is why I have taken on an unpaid gig as the social media intern for a coffee and tea business that donates 100% of its profit to charity.
I also sometimes travel to universities and other places to speak in support of Partners in Health and global access to tuberculosis care, and sometimes I write books because writing makes me happy, and every Tuesday I make a video on vlogbrothers, and I make a podcast about the world cup with my friends from high school, and so on, but none of these things constitutes work. These are just Retirement Projects, which are essential to a happy retirement.
When I was a kid and we were watching Batman cartoons and later when watching the live action films, I never understood why people were like "Bruce can stop being Batman anytime he wants" or "he's doing it to himself, he's bringing this on himself" etc whenever anything bad happened. I mean, he like can't? It's not that easy? What happens the city if he doesn't go on patrol? What would he become without Batman? What if he doesn't go one night and something happens and he couldn't prevent it? And I always thought I was overthinking it until I began reading comics properly, right after my official OCD diagnosis and suddenly I was like, oh that makes sense.
"why can't they just be friends?" not in the homophobic sense, but in the "in your need to center romance in everything you are missing the whole point of the media in question" sense
Many people’s negative feelings towards Terry Long lead them to wanting him to be removed completely from Donna’s history. I understand why. He was a good decade older than her, and she was freshly an adult when they began dating. He didn’t respect her career as a hero, often complaining about it despite having known beforehand what he was getting into. He took her child from her in their divorce. Etc.
Terry was not a good partner for Donna, but I don’t believe canon should just erase him. For better or for worse, Terry played a major role in Donna’s life, and removing him would change who she has become as a character/person.
The problem with Terry’s portrayal, especially prior to his and Donna’s divorce, was that the source material presented their relationship as healthy and tried to convince the readers of that. Clearly their relationship was not actually healthy.
When the age gap is brought up in the comics, it’s never for negative reasons. Sometimes it’s just a jab at Terry for being old, but often these references are used to show how mature Donna is. Wolfman has even said that he created Terry as Donna’s love interest because she needed somebody more mature like her. For him that meant she needed to date a man ten years her senior.
Only after their separation and divorce does their relationship start to be shown a bit negatively. However, even when it is, it’s not doing anything to show that the relationship was unhealthy when they were together. The negative things brought up and referenced about Terry are just that he was the one who initiated the divorce and left Donna and that he took Robbie away from Donna.
The ideal way, in my opinion, for what writers should do with their relationship is not to look back on it in a positive way, nor do I think they should completely ignore it ever happened. It should be acknowledged as something unhealthy that Donna didn’t seen at the time since she was young and naive. Something that took time/needs to take time for her to fully grasp.
However, this doesn’t mean I want for Donna to suddenly just completely hate him. I know many people enjoy revenge fantasies, and I know there are people that use Terry for those, and if that’s how you cope with things, that’s fine. I just personally don't see that as in character for Donna, nor do I really find it compelling.
Donna’s feelings towards Terry should be complicated. It should be something she struggles with at first that she later comes to terms with. There were some comics during and after the divorce that started to do this, but, again, her negative feelings were about the divorce itself and Terry taking Robbie away and not the relationship prior to these events.
During and after the divorce, despite everything Terry has been putting Donna through since he left her, she continues to believe she still loves him and thinks he must feel the same way about her. It ties a bit in with her issues with perfectionism. What they had was the perfect family she wanted, and she can’t fathom that she’s losing it.
She believes that despite everything he is still a good person. She has occasional moments of anger towards him, but she still feels positively about him a lot of the time. It’s heartbreaking seeing these moments.
New Titans #117
New Titans #128
Even after his death her feelings remain complicated. She grieves for him along with Robbie. After everything he put her through. It would be so easy for her to be angry at him for Robbie’s death regardless of how much at fault he is. But she doesn’t. Instead she continues to feel love for him. He took her son from her in more ways than one, and she still loves him.
Girlfrenzy! Wonder Woman: Donna Troy
This display of complicated feelings, where she continues to love somebody she has every right to be mad at, isn’t just something she does with Terry. She’s done this with the Titans of Myth as well. They messed with her memories and manipulated her, but she still feels love for them.
Return of Donna Troy #4
To me it’s just a lot more compelling for her to struggle with the fact that she still loves these people who she has every right to hate. Even as she comes to terms with how poorly they treated her. She loves Terry. He was an important part of her life. But he hurt her. From the start their relationship was unhealthy.
A story arc for Donna where it finally hits her how bad things were the whole time could be so much fun if handled correctly. And this is why I would prefer this over him being removed or just having Donna suddenly switch to just full on hating him. For her character it makes a lot more sense for things to be a bit more complex than that.
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