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i don't do bad sauce passes
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
we're not kids anymore.

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@sunagakurepuppetbrigade
Sexiest math operation?
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Not to be that person, but if you remember this, how's that newfound back pain going for ya babe
PHRASE ADDED!
LET'S DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
LET'S DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING
i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”
i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”
they call me animal crossing the way if you cross me youll be dealing with an aninal.... (eyes glow red)
he was down SO BAD IMMEDIATELY
go listen to linger by the cranberries
Me core:
I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever
The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late
For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral
Okay, let's do the math here, shall we?
On an average, assuming genetic invariability with reference to allosomes (which can be premediated via presence or lack of the Y Chromosomes which can be identified by a simple blood test, yadda yadda yadda), you're talking an average of 8 weeks for the pregnancy to be readable enough in re sex of the kid. (Assuming the kid is Cisgendered.) This is typically followed by 9 months of pregnancy (- the 8 weeks) and about 18 months of recommended recovery period after. This gives the conception and birth of each kid an average timeline of 27 months in all, which is about 2.25 years.
Now, in re Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5, there are a total of 9 individuals mentioned. Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Erica, Rita (repeated), Tina, Sandra (repeated), Mary, and Jessica. Assuming the existence of a singular Rita and Sandra which were called upon twice in the song, we can assume that this would involve a grand total of 2.25 x 9 = 20.5 years of near constant pregnancies to produce the offspring in question.
Assuming that the embryonic host typically hits Menopause at around 40, we can assume that the primary conception in re the same occurs at around 19.5 years of age. Which is still premature in re sociocultural aspects but the body is more than capable of handling such a strain at that age.
Also, in case we assume that every one of the offspring remain in all cases, cisgendered (which is a variable that is very hard to account for), we can assume that there is always a possibility that the allelomorph of the embryo involved can occasionally involve an XY chromosome. The detection can successfully occur at 8 weeks, and in case an abortion ensues, conception can recur within as little as 2 more weeks. That is an added extra 10 weeks per in re the nondesired sex.
In case of purely clinical states, such as IVF, where the Ova are extracted and externally fertilised each time, a system of Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Aneuploidies (PGT-A) can be incorporated in order to identify XX chromosomal situations and ensuring further that only those are implanted. This, while making sure that the offspring in question are necessarily of the XX karyotype, cannot of course state whether a state of monozygotic twinning can occur or not. More often than not, in order to maximise chances of implantation, more than two embryos used to be implanted into the uterus, typically around five. But technology has significantly improved in the years following which makes sure that there is no need for the same. Elective Single Embryo Transfer (eSET) is now the standard in modern IVF, prioritizing the transfer of one, high-quality, genetically tested blastocyst to achieve a healthy, single-baby pregnancy. This shift minimizes severe risks associated with multiple pregnancies, such as preterm birth for babies and severe complications for mothers, while maintaining high success rates. Clinics now reserve multiple embryo transfers primarily for older patients or those with histories of repeated IVF failures, rather than routine practice.
In case there are more than one embryos that get implanted that are undesirable, the extra embryos can be removed through a medical procedure called multifetal pregnancy reduction (MFPR) or selective reduction.
In summation, assuming of course that we are talking about the most clinically ideal circumstances, where there is the implantation of a single embryo each time, that still gives you about the same timeline of about 20.5 years. In case of preferring to determine sex after (which is cheaper) as opposed to before (which is still pricey as fuck in today's economy), that adds another 10 weeks per embryo. Unwanted implants can be removed via MFPR.
I forgot what my point here was. Anyway. Have fun if you're planning on that.
IVF'ing my nine daughters at once as a trans man to speedrun what the youths are calling "the Lou Bega challenge"
ok well if i can be vulnerable with you for a moment theres a hole in the floor at work and i dont know if it drains to anywhere but i do know ive been pouring old coffee down it for about three weeks now
a coworker saw me do it today and her expression was unreadable
imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit
You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh
Your therapist asks you "Who in this image do you see yourself as?" and then shows you a drawing of two shirtless skinny anime catboys with a thread of saliva going between their lips
It was actually just an ink blot but thank you, this gives me a lot to work with
The bubble is nigh.
also happy pride month to this banger
They keep making the inside of cars smaller and smaller so that people can't have sex in them. But they can't stop us