synopsis: you attend a soccer game with your friend anton, which leads you to being caught on the kiss cam with your celebrity crush. after he leaves you feeling embarrassed he tries to make it up to you.
warnings: none just some angst
Your bag gets caught on the retractable seat as you move to sit in the crowded stadium. The weather is nice enough and your seats are close to the field so there’s no need to complain other than the fact that you really didn’t want to be here.
Your friend Anton had been asking you to go to a soccer game with him for as long as you can remember. You never really cared for sports aside from when the Olympics happened and even then, you really didn’t care about the soccer events. After years of Anton asking, you decided that fine, you would go once so he would stop asking.
You had been to the stadium a few times for various concerts, but it was not this full of loud angry sports fans. You sit in your seat and offer a small smile to Anton, preparing to act excited until the game ends and you can go home. A taller man moves down the row to get into the seat beside you, he’s wearing a scarf around his head and a mask, but you swear he looks familiar.
“Sorry...” he says as he squeezes into his seat. You know that voice. Suddenly it hits you like a cold brick. That was Jung Sungchan, the wildly famous singer you had been a fan of since his first album. You look down at the small buff deer keychain hanging off your bag on the floor, terrified he’ll look down and recognize his own merchandise.
This was a situation you would only experience in your own thoughts while coming back from a long lecture or trying to fall asleep on a restless night. You had no idea what to do. Somehow, Anton noticed your current state of shock. “Hey... you alright?” He leans closer, looking you over as you nod stiffly. You nudge your head over a little bit with wide eyes as if silently screaming at him to look beside you.
When Anton notices the man sitting beside you his eyes widen slightly and he looks back at you before wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. Your foot comes down to stomp on his shoe which causes a yelp to leave him as he bends down to look at the damage that doesn’t actually exist.
The game consists of men kicking a ball around a large field and pretending to fall in hopes of the other team getting in trouble to your understanding. To be completely honest, you aren’t paying attention at all. You have never been so hyperaware of your own presence and the way you carry yourself before. Too anxious to move past the handsome man beside you to check yourself in the bathroom mirror inside the stadium and too embarrassed of your own existence to even pretend you know what’s happening.
After a while, there’s a short break which you believe is the intermission while the teams switch nets. The jumbotron camera person is walking around your section, and you can’t help but worry they’llcatch Sungchan on what you believe is his day off.
“Gonna go to the bathroom, watch my bag and don’t embarrass yourself in front of tall dark and handsome while I’m gone.” Anton winks at you teasingly as he leaves the row and heads back into the stadium. You sit quietly in your seat putting an earbud in and opening your phone, the arena was so loud and there were so many people yelling towards the teams and referee that you decide you need a moment of silence.
The universe (or at least the jumbotron camera operator) had other plans for you. You look up from your phone when you can feel eyes on you and notice you’re on the giant screen in the middle of the arena. Oh, but it wasn’t just you. It was you and Sungchan with a poorly animated heart frame with the giant words “KISS CAM” hovering over your heads.
You had experienced some seriously humbling situations in your life from accidentally sitting on an elderly person on the bus without looking, to your jeans ripping from crotch to knee as you sat down in a lecture, but this, this takes the cake.
You knew Sungchan couldn’t kiss you for obvious reasons involving his idol image and contracts with the company, but it didn’t make it any less humiliating when his eyes widened, and he shook his head making an “X” shape with his arms. Nobody in the arena seemed to recognize him that you could see and to everyone, it looked like you had just been rejected on a huge screen displayed to thousands of people. The camera operator seems to get the hint and walked to a different section to find their next victims.
The moment they’re gone, Sungchan turns to face you with an apologetic look. “I am so sorry I-” You shake your head quietly while trying to hide your humiliation. You point down to the deerkeychain on your bag, and he looks shocked when he sees it. “It’s fine, I get it.”
You half expect him to leave when he realizes you’re a fan of his. The fear of having pictures taken of him or being stalked was probably a constant struggle for him and other idols. Instead, he smiles up at you and reaches into his bag, pulling out a pen. Sungchan reaches down and signs the keychain across the deer's bicep then offers you an apologetic smile. You offer one back.
Anton comes back a few minutes later after the game had started again, completely oblivious to what had happened while he was gone. He takes his seat and puts his phone in the cupholder. “Good?” He asks with a tilt of his head. You nod “good.”
Sungchan however, was not good. The boy has looked anxious, and guilty since the jumbotron incident, and you didn’t know how else to reassure him it was okay. You didn’t want to try talking to him. Now that he knew you were a fan, you were sure he’d be weirded out with you trying to start conversations. It only takes a few minutes before he gets out of his seat, takes his bag, and leaves.
This situation was not your fault in the slightest, but you can’t help but feel terrible for what happened. Sungchan probably gets a day off once in a blue moon, and your very existence managed to wreck it. Now he needs to deal with being caught on the kiss cam on not only the stadium, but also television, mixed with the fear that you might have taken photos of him or started posting where he was and what he said or how he smells or-
“For you.” Sungchan’s voice cuts through your thoughts as he sits down beside you again. He’s holding a bag of popcorn and a drink out to you with a small, almost hopeful smile.
The game was coming to an end after what felt like eternity. Earlier, you had gratefully accepted the drink and snack from Sungchan and he seemed much more content with himself after he had given it to you. Since he was still an idol and you were not one for getting your hopes up, you didn’t speak after you thanked him for the snacks, hoping it would be enough.
After the game ends and the players leave the field, the arena starts clearing out. Thousands of people trying to get out of the small exits between sections. “We can wait it out since we’re not going anywhere after this.” Antons says, sitting back down waiting for the crowd to die down a bit. “Good idea.” You say before sitting back down and double checking everything is still in your bag.
It had gotten dark out and the sky was cloudy, you wondered if it would rain while you tried to get home with Anton. Neither of you have a car, so the train is your main form of transportation, but waiting in the rain all night is the last thing you want to do tonight.
“Sorry for eavesdropping, but you said you’re not doing anything after this?” Sungchan leans down a bit to reach eye level with you in your seat.
You probably stare at the man, dumbfounded for thirty seconds before you understand what he had said. You didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, he could just be asking to make small talk while waiting for the venue to clear out. “Oh- um... yeah...” You quickly shake your head. “Or no! Like no I-” You mentally slap yourself for sounding so stupid and clear your throat. “I meant no, I’m not doing anything after this.”
“Would you like to go get something to eat?” He smiles hopefully. “Something more than popcorn.” He adds with a charming laugh.
You take a deep breath as you wait for John Quiñones to come out with a camera crew. There’s no way that Jung Sungchan just asked you out.
“One moment...” You say quietly and turn to Anton who’s still sitting beside you with wide eyes. “Is it okay if you train home alone-”
“You could drop me off in an active warzone right now if it meant you got to leave with him, don’t ask stupid questions.” Anton cuts you off and grabs his bag, standing up quickly.
“Ugh, can’t believe my friend needs me to pick him up at this time, ridiculous...” Anton makes a point of saying his excuse loud enough for Sungchan to hear, and practically throws himself over the row of seats to leave you alone with him.
Sungchan looks a bit stunned at Anton’s abrupt departure. “I’m sorry is that your boyfriend?” He looks worried, like he may have overstepped. You shake your head so hard you feel it might roll off your shoulders. “No way, he’s just my friend.” You scrunch your nose in disgust at the thought of dating your best friend of so many years which makes Sungchan laugh.
“So, you know the city well, huh?” There’s a small cloud of breath while Sungchan speaks, the cold air making his cheeks and nose pink. “Yeah, I’ve lived here my whole life, I barely travel so I know it really well.” You sound a bit braggy, but it’s true. You never had family vacations growing up and as you got older, being a full-time student didn’t leave a lot of money for travel. You and Anton spent your free time taking the train around and finding hidden cafes and bars.
“Know any good burger places?” Sungchan laughs as he speaks, he knows he’s predictable, and you find it endearing. “I can think of one close to here actually. Maybe ten minutes away.”
He nearly beams at your response, his eyes sparkling under the streetlights and his cold cheeks matching his pink lips. “Lead the way.”
You lead Sungchan into the tiny burger shop on the corner of a quiet street. It’s almost empty and the food is a bit expensive, but you’re downtown so it’s expected. As you sit down, a waiter puts two menus on the table and asks for your drink orders. Sungchan orders a soda and you decide to have one too.
When the waiter leaves, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Anton texted you two minutes ago:
idk if it was smart of me to leave u with a man u just met...
You laugh at your friends' concern and hold the phone up to take a picture of Sungchan at the restaurant, so Anton knew not to worry. Sungchan notices the photo being taken, and his already big doe eyes widen further in curiosity. You offer a small smile “It’s so my friend knows I’m not dead.” You show him the photo you had sent. “I can delete it if you’d like.”
“No, that’s okay as long as your friend doesn’t share it.” He offers a reassuring smile while pulling his phone out. He takes a photo of you just as you had done to him. “For your friend to know you’re not dead?” You ask and laugh quietly.
“No, just for me.” He blushes and tucks the phone back into his pocket as if his words didn’t nearly stop your heart. “Oh...” You say with matching warm cheeks.
“The deluxe burger is the same as the cheeseburger, just more expensive.” Sungchan looks up as you show him the price difference in the menu. “You should do city tours.” He jokes.
“I’m free all night if you’re interested...”
After staying out until the clubs closed and you were on the brink of falling asleep, you and Sungchan decided to call it a night. “Do you have a ride home?” He says while his fingers gently brush yours and you walk towards the arena where you had started your adventure and city tour earlier. “No, I was gonna take the train home, but I can call a cab now since it’s so late.” Sungchan tilts his head in confusion before shaking it. “I’ll give you a ride home, yeah?”
Sungchan’s car is nice, as expected. The inside smells like leather and something fruity from the air freshener on the dashboard. He drives carefully since he’s not from this city and is carefully following the GPS to your house.
“You can use the aux if you want.” He speaks into the quietness of the car, turning to look at you for a moment. You nod and fish your phone out of your bag, ignoring the texts from Anton and plugging the aux into the bottom of it. The moment your phone connects, one of Sungchan’s songs starts playing through the speakers since you had been listening to it earlier.
He fails to fight back a laugh while you slam the volume dial in his car to zero and try to skip the song at the same time. His eyes crescent and his teeth are on full display, he’s still looking ahead at the road, but his amusement is obvious.
“That was cute...” He says through a laugh.
“Shut up...” You dismiss him and scroll through your playlist picking a song and turning the volume back up. The Story Of Another Us by 5 Seconds of Summer plays through the speaker. You had always loved boy bands, and this song was one of your favorites.
Sungchan bops his head to the beat while he drives. “I like this song, what’s it called?”
When Sungchan pulls into your driveway, two things hit you at once. The first being that you just spent a romantic evening with your celebrity crush, and the second being the fact that it came to an end. This was it. You won’t see him again.
Sungchan insists on walking you to your door even though it’s in view of his car. He hovers behind you while you reach for your keys. The air is cool and the night is quiet. It had been quiet earlier too, but it was comfortable and quiet. Now it’s sad and disappointing.
“I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you.” Sungchan sounds more nervous than he has all night. His fingers nervously play with his jacket zipper as he looks down at you. “I had a lot of fun too, you’re really funny.” You laugh softly to yourself. “And pretty.” Sungchan laughs with you. “You know I do have one regret though...”
You furrow your brows in confusion. What did you do wrong? He regrets going out tonight? Sungchan notices your nerves and gently intertwines your fingers. “I wish I had kissed you... at the game.”
Your eyes widen in shock, and you can feel your cheeks getting hot at his admission. “Y- you- wait really?” He laughs softly at your words, but you can see his cheeks reddening. “I do.” He looks at you with a flustered smile. “Can I...?” You nod immediately. He didn’t even need to finish that question.
Sungchan smiles brightly and slowly leans down, tilting his head and pressing his lips against yours. It’s a quick lingering kiss but something you take a mental note to never forget. The softness of his lips and the gentle care in the way he kisses is something you want to always remember. When he pulls back, he’s smiling down at you. “I know I live a few cities over, but I was wondering if maybe youwanted to keep in touch? We could go on another date. One during the day.” The way he speaks is hopeful, but you are not.
You know what can happen to idols if they’re caught dating. You’ve seen them get online and in person hate, trucks sent to their company, sometimes even being fired from their company. You couldn’t be the reason that this sweet, caring boy lost his dream and his job. You wouldn’t be the reason that Sungchan loses everything.
You take a quiet step back towards your door. Your nerves are shot, and you feel like you’re sacrificing your happiness for Sungchan. Selfless, but so incredibly painful.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Sungchan...” You feel a lump in your throat and your voice breaks on the last word. “Thank you for everything, you’re a really kind man and I really loved tonight.” Sungchan’s smile fades, there’s a quiet disappointment and acceptance on his features as he nods. “Thank you for showing me around the city. I won’t forget tonight.” He says quietly, his gaze moves from you to the cold walkway under his shoes.
The next few days are slow and agonizing. Lectures seem to drag on longer than usual, the train home is always late now, and you cannot stop thinking about ruining your chances with Jung Sungchan.
He had been such a gentleman, he didn’t push to stay, he just walked you to your door and let you turn him down before heading home. You realized a few hours after he pulled out of your driveway that you had left your brown scarf in his car, it had been a gift from Anton and now it was gone. Just like Sungchan was.
You would likely never see either of them again.
“Stop complaining you did it to yourself...” Anton says over the loud music playing in the trendy bar he insisted on visiting with you. He had expected a huge update about hooking up with Sungchan or moving back to Seoul with him. Never in a million years would he have thought you rejected him and asked him to leave.
“I did it because I care stop making me feel worse!” You groan and drink from your overly sweet beverage. “I’m sad about it and I’ll probably never get over it, but I still don’t regret it. We both know he would have lost his job, and I probably would have been the most hated person on the planet if I agreed to date him.” Anton nods and watches you carefully. “You’re more mature than me. If that had been Ningning-”
“Shut up.” You cut him off and slide his drink towards him, which he gladly accepts. He looks down at the drink on the table after nearly downing it before speaking. “I hope it’s alright that I told Wonbin.” Your eyes widen and you feel like slapping him in the middle of a bar full of people barely old enough to drink. “Anton, I rejected Sungchan so nobody would know and you went and told Wonbin?! What is wrong with you?!” He sighs and looks at you with a frown that almost makes you forgive him. Almost.
“He’s not gonna tell anyone, who would he have told? Me? And who would I have told? You. It’s fine...” You run your hands through your hair and suddenly the music seems too loud, and the margarita seems too sweet, and you don’t want to be here anymore. “Anton... you only told him because you have a big crush on him and wanted to seem interesting.” Your voice is calm and a matter of fact. Anton had never said he liked Wonbin that way, he had never actually said he liked boys that way but, you can put two and two together even without asking.
“Shut up I do not.” He rolls his eyes and waves to the waiter for another drink.
You spend the night at Anton’s apartment, he crashes nearly the minute you get back on the makeshift bed beside his own. He may have annoyed you at times, but he was a gentleman and would never let you take the floor even if it meant sacrificing his bed.
You lay on Anton’s large mattress in the dark room with the soft sound of him snoring below and scroll through your phone trying to distract yourself from what had been plaguing your mind. You open Instagram and see your friends out enjoying their lives, going to concerts, travelling, moving away from this small city while you and Anton stay in place watching from afar.
A new post from JSUNGCHAN. It’s a simple photo, nothing that stood out from his usual posts. Nobody would have noticed anything different if you weren’t looking at your brown scarf around his neck. He’s posing for the picture in the local airport, a usual idol post that looks like it would make a delusional lockscreen of him being your boyfriend as he looks back at the camera with a warm closed mouth smile.
God, he looks so pretty, his eyes are so big and brown, his lips pink and plump. You remember what they felt like on yours, soft and puffy and-
You close Instagram and put your phone on the nightstand before looking up at the ceiling and praying sleep would come soon. The soft hum of the heater and Anton’s snoring is not helping lull you into slumber but keeping you awake instead. You wonder if you should comment on the post “hey it’s me, the one you took on a romantic date after the soccer game and kissed at my front door. I regret rejecting you, please come find me again. Xoxo.” The idea is ridiculous, and you know you would likely be flagged by the company he works for and probably turned into a mass joke about parasocial relationships online.
You wonder if you could use the excuse of needing the scarf back to get in contact with him. Say it was a gift from a late relative or an heirloom. Drastically exaggerate the importance of the fabric so he would have to return it to you. You’re not even sure how you would go about doing that since he has no business contact and you can’t exactly fly to South Korea and find him.
One thing you’re sure of is that it wasn’t just a random night for him. He wouldn’t have kept the scarf and posted wearing it, knowing you would see if he didn’t care. You might never see him again, but at least you were given a form of closure.
As sleep takes over, your mind is consumed by the overbearing thought of Jung Sungchan, his gentle nature, and his beautiful, pink, puffy lips.
“Is that the scarf I gave you?” Antons pokes your cheek to wake you up. You’re sleepy and ticked off that he woke you up so early. “Wh- how did you see that you don’t even follow him?” The sun is bright as you put your hand up to shield your eyes and squint. “I started following him after he kissed my best friend... obviously.” He holds the post up to your face once more, the bright screen overwhelming as you stare at the picture of Sungchan at the airport.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s your scarf, okay? I didn’t mean to leave it in his car.” You gently push Anton’s hand with the phone away from your face as you let your eyes adjust to the brightness and the heaviness of sleep leave your limbs.
“I’m not mad that you left it in his car, I’m showing you because he wouldn’t be wearing it if he wasn’t thinking about you.” Anton looks so happy about the revelation that you almost feel bad telling him to drop it. “Anton, it doesn’t matter. I can’t go back in time to change things, and I can’t fly to Seoul to find him. It was a mistake and it’s over now.” He frowns as you run your hands over your face while waking up properly.
“No buts. I can’t go back now.”
You play the scene in your head over again until you feel like pulling your hair out. The way Sungchan looked so hopeful until you had rejected him. The man you had spent years listening to, watching perform, charming hosts on late night shows. He was real and in front of you at your own home, hoping to take you on an actual date, and you said no.
To say you hadn’t sent him a pathetic DM would be a complete lie. It was late and you were desperate. It was inevitable and just as embarrassing as you thought it would be. Of course, there was no reply.
“Hey... it’s me. You still have the scarf I left in your car. I don’t need it back I just saw you posted with it.”
Pathetic. You sounded like a parasocial loser, and you’re almost 100% sure his team runs his Instagram account anyways. You wouldn’t be surprised if you opened the app and saw “JSUNGCHAN has blocked you.”
You open Spotify in hopes of drowning out the sound of your own thoughts, clicking on a random playlist and shuffling it. You notice a new account called “BAMBI” followed you in the past few days. The chances of it being Sungchan were slim. How would he even find you unless he had gone through your Instagram bio?
The account is relatively new or at least didn’t have many playlists. You click the most recent playlist and find a variety of Korean and English songs, none of them seemed too familiar until the last one. Story of Another us by 5 Seconds of Summer was the most recent song added to the playlist.
Without thinking, you follow the profile and send it a song to open a chat with them. You’re not completely sure if it’s Sungchan but you’ve done more embarrassing things in your life than shoot your shot with a random Spotify profile. You type one message after the song you sent.
You’re losing your mind. At first, it was easy to be in denial and say you don’t regret your decision, you wouldn’t want to ruin Sungchan’s career and image, but now, you feel like throwing your phone at the wall. It has been three days since you sent that pathetic Spotify message to a random account. You never received a response and as much as you know there’s almost no chance of ever getting one, you can’t help but hold onto the ‘almost.’
Anton and Wonbin are sprawled out on your couch sharing snacks. Wonbin’s legs are thrown over Anton’s lap while Anton rests his elbows on them to look at his phone. “Maybe he has like a company PO box or something...? You could send him a letter like it’s the olden days.” Wonbin says while chewing some sort of fruit snack. The idea isn’t terrible, but you can’t expect Sungchan to actually look through all of the letters sent to him. Even if yours was found you would most likely be seen as a sasaeng and the letter would be thrown out.
“Maybe...” You stare at Sungchan’s Instagram profile for the millionth time before sighing and dropping your phone on the floor below you. Wonbin and Anton both look up at you, taking in your slouched form on the chair near the TV. They both look at each other as if silently communicating something you don’t understand before Anton speaks. “Hey, at least we have our concert next week.”
You had completely forgotten about the 5 Second of Summer concert coming up. You and Anton had bought tickets ages ago, and it must have slipped your mind at some point. You were beyond excited for months but somewhere between getting kissed by your celebrity crush and rejecting him at your doorstep, the excitement had dulled.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” Anton’s voice brings your thoughts back to the room you were currently sitting in. “Yeah... Sorry.” You do feel guilty about forgetting, but a part of you knows Anton understands why you did. “It’s fine, Wonbin’s coming too.” Wonbin offers a small smile and a brief thumbs up as you stare between the two of them. “Oh.” Is all that comes out of your mouth. You can’t help but wonder if the two of them gottogether at some point over the past few days or weeks without you noticing. It didn’t seem suspicious how they were sitting together in a domestic half-cuddle and sharing food until right now.
“Am I gonna be third wheeling?”
They both speak at the same time, Anton confirming your question while Wonbin denies it. You feel bad for even asking when you realize you had caused confusion between the two of them, their eyes darting between each other and you. “I’m... heading out...” You offer an awkward smile while lifting yourself from the chair and heading towards the door. “I’ll be back in a bit.” Before they can ask where you’re going, you’re out the door in a jacket that won’t be warm enough if you stay out any longer than an hour. If the two of them need some alone time to discuss what even the blind could see is happening between them, you’re happy to lend them your apartment. At least someone has a chance at romance between you and Anton.
You find yourself at a burger shop a few blocks away from your apartment, the same restaurant you visited with Sungchan, just not the same location. You weren’t hungry when you arrived, but it would be rude to stay inside without ordering anything.
Picking at your fries, you scroll through Spotify looking for a setlist playlist for the upcoming concert. You hadn’t realized you barely knew their new album, and it’s nice to have a distraction. As the songs play, you add your favorites to your playlist and try to memorize some of the lyrics.
Your thumb swipes at the top of the screen to scroll at the same time a notification pops up, the account responded. The message opens automatically, and you stare at it for the entirety of a song.
Would Sungchan text like that? Would he even use messages on Spotify? Does anyone? Without wanting the user to go M.I.A. again, you quickly type a response.
The fries in front of you are getting cold now, the soda is going flat while you look like an insane person, eyes boring into your phone.
Two more songs play to a full before you give up again, putting the phone face down on the table and pressing your face into your hands, elbows resting on the ketchup coated wood. You hear footsteps approaching from behind and let out a sigh before looking up. The waiter offers a sympathetic smile and holds out a cupcake. “They didn’t show up, did they?”
You laugh softly and shake your head as the boy sits down at the table. He has soft looking brown hair and kind eyes, he almost resembles an otter. “I wish it was just being stood up.” You say as you accept the cupcake with a small bow of your head, a silent thank you. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” He seems invested rather than nosy. Talking to a stranger about this might be just what you need to realize how ridiculous you’re being.
“It’s a long story.” You warn him before delving into the whole ‘My celebrity crush wanted me and I said no’ thing. He nods and stands up walking towards the door before switching the OPEN sign to say CLOSED. “I’m the manager and nobody else is on shift, so it’s fine.” He says before locking the door. You laugh softly as he approaches the table again. “Thanks...” You look for a nametag on his apron.
Shotaro is a very kind person, he has a way of making your unfortunate circumstances seem manageable. Obviously, he couldn’t come up with a scenario, but that wasn’t what you were asking for. Just someone to listen.
“Thanks again Shotaro, I would have lost my mind tonight if it wasn't for you.” You thank him as he holds the door for you to leave the restaurant. You both make your way out of the small building into the evening air. “Don’t worry about it, I’d rather hang out with a really cool person than wipe tables all night.” He looks around the street noticing no cars other than his own. “Do you need a ride home?”
You shake your head. “I live just down the street but thank you.” With that, Shotaro says his goodbyes, offering you a free meal anytime he’s working and his number to hang out again. You’re grateful you met the boy tonight. He lightened the mood and took your mind off Sungchan for a few hours. You also got a free meal out of it, so no harm was done.
The moment you open your apartment door, Anton and Wonbin scramble off each other on your couch. Quickly pulling apart as if they had been caught doing something other than cuddling. You groan and look at them unimpressed. “You both have your own places, did you really need to make out on my couch?”
Anton huffs and avoids eye contact before mumbling in a grumpy tone. “We weren’t making out...” You roll your eyes but it’s more amused than irritated. “Both of you, out. I know you’d rather be alone being gross right now anyways.” Without arguing, they get off the couch, fixing their clothes and hair as they make their way to the door. “I’ll see you at the concert next week?” Wonbin asks with an endearing head tilt. “Of course, I’ll see you there.” You look past him at Anton, flicking his head “You too.”
The apartment is empty again. Nothing but string lights, silence, and too much time to think.
You get comfortable in a pair of sleep shorts and a loose shirt, slipping into bed and pulling your laptop out. Scrolling through websites and Pinterest trying to piece together an outfit for the concert. Story of AnotherUs plays through the small speakers as you look for something that doesn’t scream ‘put me on the jumbotron.’
There’s an excitement in your bones, you deserved a night out with music, Anton (and Wonbin), and flashy clothes. There would always be a longing for the tall bashful man you met in the same arena weeks prior, but at least you could replace the memories of that place with something fun. Something without Jung Sungchan.
You would move on, even if it meant forcing it. Accepting the loss over time rather than dwelling on what could have been if you had put yourself first that night. The thought of what could have been will always sit in the back of your mind, a long-distance relationship? Would he have moved to stay here with you? Let you live in South Korea with him? Maybe he would write songs about you. Would the fans wonder who the lyrics were about or assume it was for them?
The song ends. You close your laptop and turn the light off before falling asleep.
“I’m gonna tell security you have a knife in your bag if you keep being gross and in love.”
Anton rolls his eyes at your remark, but let’s go of Wonbin’s hand anyways. “What? Are you mad I didn’t let my man get away like some people?” His voice is teasing but the words still sting due to how real they were. The three of you get off the train and start walking the short distance to the venue. You were excited about the concert, but the last time you had been in this arena was the kiss cam incident that hasn’t seemed to leave your mind since.
“Everyone has their tickets, mini fans, and ID?” Wonbin’s voice is soft but calculated as he looks through his bag mentally checking off his and Anton’s items. “I have everything. Anton is the one you need to worry about.” Wonbin laughs at your words and tilts his bag towards you, showing you how full it is. “Why do you think I have all of his stuff in my bag?”
“Wait, there’s only one ticket in there...” You put on a dramatic voice to scare Wonbin, which works well if the wide-eyed terror is anything to go by. “It was a joke, there’s two...” Anton laughs as Wonbin panicked and triple checked for the tickets in his small clear bag.
“The line to get in on the north side of the venue is the shortest, I just checked twitter.” Wonbin leads the three of you around the arena. The weather was nicer than any of you had planned for, your jeans were starting to feel too hot, and you couldn’t wait to get into the venue.
Wonbin and Anton had left you at your seats with the bags and merch while they went to get snacks and use the restroom. The view was pretty good, and the opener was a smaller band with a similar sound to the main act. You find yourself swaying to the music while scrolling on your phone.
“Hey!” A familiar voice interrupts your scrolling. You look up and see the kind burger shop employee with glittery star makeup and a band t-shirt on. “Shotaro! How are you?” You walk into the aisle and give him a tight hug, which he returns with enthusiasm. “I’m great! My friend works with the touring agency and got us floor seats. Is this where you’re sitting?” He points to the row behind you where you had been guarding the merch and Wonbin’s bag full of ‘essentials.’
“Yeah, I originally had upper bowl, but my friend's boyfriend got last minute tickets and upgraded our seats so we could sit together.” Shotaro’s eyes widen in excitement as you mention being so close to the floor. “So, you’re two rows from the floor barricade? What seats?” You tilt your head with an awkward laugh as he seems insistent on getting the exact seat numbers. “I think 23, 24, and 25. Why?” He shrugs but his excitement doesn’t fade. “Just curious if I could see you during the show, I’ll come say hi again after it’s over and maybe I can meet your friends.” You agree to his offer before he rushes back down the aisle to his friend in the pit.
“Hey! We got drinks!” Anton and Wonbin walk down the stairs to your seats holding drinks, holding a tote bag that looks like it’s from the merch stand. “Thanks, it’s hot in here I need something cold.” Wonbin hands you a beverage which you quickly realize is alcoholic.
From the moment the lights went down until the last song, you and Anton were screaming and dancing. Wonbin was a newer fan and hadn’t known as many of the songs on the setlist, but you both did your best to include him. It always felt surreal being at a concert, and you rarely got tickets this close to the stage. The pit blocked a partial view of the lead singer, but you could clearly see the other members even if you weren’t paying too much attention.
When the band left but the lights didn’t turn back on, you knew there would be an encore. The crowd started chanting “encore, encore, encore” which you joined quickly.
The lead singer, Luke, walks back onto the stage. The rest of the band is still backstage somewhere, and only one spotlight is on.
“I heard you all want an encore?” He speaks into the mic, the echo is drowned out by the sound of everyone in the audience cheering loudly. “Well, I can do that for you, but first I have a favor to ask. Can you do me a favor?” You cheer along with the crowd, ready to cheer extra loud, jump, or do whatever audience project they had planned.
Luke speaks lowly into the mic, the words causing your heart to momentarily stop. You stand frozen in place, but you can feel Anton’s eyes boring into the side of your head.
“Is anyone here missing a brown scarf...?”
The crowd looks confused aside from a few fans acting like it was some sort of fandom joke you would only know if you had been a fan since 2014.
Luke continues speaking to the wildly confused crowd. “I have a friend that visited this city a little while ago and met someone. If this sounds familiar and you’re missing a brown scarf, now is the time to come get it.” He takes a minute and presses his hand to his ear as if hearing something in his earpiece before speaking again. “He says no pressure if you don’t want it to be publicly returned.”
“My friend! It’s my friend’s scarf! Here!” Anton shouts beside you, his voice cutting through the ringing in your ears. The lead singer looks at your section after hearing the shouting and laughs softly. “Row two, seats twenty-three, twenty-four, and twenty-five?” Anton shouts back “Yes! It’s my friend's scarf!” You’re sure Luke Hemmings has no idea what Anton is saying, but the sound must be enough of a response because seconds later, the lights turn off.
You feel a hand on your shoulder followed by Shotaro’s voice. “Come on...” He gently pulls your arm and guides you through the dark venue to the lobby. Everyone in the audience is beyond confused, and the sound of chatter and questions fills the venue. Eventually, you reach the arena lobby with Shotaro still gently guiding you.
Sungchan is standing near the concession with your brown scarf and a bouquet of flowers. He’s dressed up nicely and looks almost bashful as he smiles at you.
“How...?” Your voice is barely audible as you speak.
Shotaro speaks cheerfully “my friend works for the same touring company as Sungchan.”
Your feet feel bolted to the floor as you stare at the tall boy in front of you. He looks more nervous than you do as he approaches you slowly.
“Listen... You can just take your scarf back and never talk to me again, but I needed to see you again and tell you properly.” He places the scarf over your shoulders carefully before taking a deep breath and continuing. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I found your Instagram but knew I couldn't publicly follow you and you didn’t accept my request on the burner account. I tried giving you signs by posting the songs from your playlist and wearing your scarf, but I want to stop being cryptic and just tell you. I really regret leaving that night and I would like to ask for another chance...? Not just a rushed burger shop date but a real date somewhere nice where I can learn more about you and we can maybe get closer.”
You stare at him in shock before speaking quietly.
Sungchan looks like a deer caught in the headlights for a moment before he nods quickly. “Y- yes please-” You reach up to pull him down by the front of his shirt, kissing him softly but pouring weeks of emotion into it. His hand cradles the back of your head, and you feel teeth against your lips as he fails to fight back a smile.
When you pull back and rest your forehead against Sungchan’s, you let out a breathy relieved laugh. “I tried to message you on Spotify...” Sungchan laughs at your words and kisses the corner of your lips. “Glad to know I wasn’t the only desperate one.” He runs his thumb over your cheek with an excited smile on his face. “There’s one more surprise...”
You return to your seat in row two, this time, with Sungchan.
Wonbin and Anton have huge grins on their faces and move to give you both room to stand in the tight row. The lights are on the stage again, and the band walks out to pick up their instruments. The lead singer once again takes the mic and speaks into it.
“We usually do the same encore every show, but we’d like to dedicate this song to this beautiful city.”
You feel Sungchan’s hand find yours, squeezing it gently as he looks down at you with a bright, knowing smile. The band starts playing the melody to a familiar song. The bass player speaks into his mic...
“This one’s called Story Of Another Us.”
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