@sunny-witha-chance - Tumblr Blog

(defense) attorney culture is like the opposite of cop culture. lawyers hate all other lawyers with a barely concealed passion, yes, even their partners at the law firm. no solidarity, 85% drama and 15% social niceties. they’ll hang out together socially on occasion but they hate each other to their core. they’re like betta fish.

byjove

cop: Officer Misconduct would do that, he’s a good lawman, he was the best man at my wedding and I’m lucky to have known him.

doctor: I’ve worked with my colleague, Dr. Malpractice, for 15 years now and I have never witnessed the behavior you are describing.

defense attorney: Yeah, that sounds like something that stupid bastard would try. He doesn’t have the good sense to navigate his way out of a wet cardboard box, much less construct a sound legal defense. He has the integrity of a fucking gnat too. When we were in law school 35 years ago, he barfed in the back seat of my Mercedes after a night out and he never paid to get it cleaned. Even his wife can’t stand him. Fucker. I hate that guy.

official-german-puns

Was viele nicht wissen: Außer dem Geruchssinn, Sehsinn, Hörsinn, Geschmacksinn und Tastsinn verfüge ich über mindestens einen weiteren Sinn. Den Schwachsinn.

official-german-puns

und mittlerweile auch den Wahnsinn…

tattahitotsunosaetayarikata-dea

tuulikki

#someone had a lot of fun writing this headline

(from @afloweroutofstone)

pmamtraveller

Shot in the Dark (1943), by Tom Lovell

epiphainie

people get so mad when you tell them that their lowbrow entertainment they enjoy is actually lowbrow

epiphainie

everyone wants their self-indulgent romantasy to be considered high literature and whatever new mainstream pop boy/girl to be treated as the next beethoven and their gay fluff show on streaming apps to be revolutionary art changing the world and like, they're not. and that's okay. i'm literally watching the stupidest show right now and it's fine. it doesn't have to be more.

epiphainie

there's also the argument of how pop culture used to be the trickle down from high culture for the longest time but now it's an ouroboros eating itself as access and willingness to engage with high culture have been systematically destroyed and diminished through the last decades so your popcorn flick moviemaker now only gets inspiration from other popcorn flicks when their foreparents used to actually read literally and see art of all kinds and your pop musicians used to listen to all sorts of new and old music rather than just their contemporaries/competition and maybe this absence of any sort of culture outside of our easy algorithms is why everyone's so defensive of what they passively consume and so attached to it as a part of their identity but that's a discussion for another day

asteroidtroglodyte

You can’t Abstain your way to a Better World.

asteroidtroglodyte

The Burger still gets made, even if you go Vegan. If you don’t buy it, it just winds up in the trash. If you want to do something meaningful about waste, you need legislation: It must become a crime to waste food in those ways.

If you care about Animal Cruelty in Factory Farms, you need to get legislation passed. It must become a crime to mistreat animals in those ways, and when malfeasances occurs, the onus of responsibility for those crimes must fall upon wealthy shoulders. That, also, requires legislation. It requires regulations, and regulators.

The largest source of Microplastics is wear and tear on automobile tires. It doesn’t matter what brand of shampoo you buy. It doesn’t matter which company you support with your dollar. The issue of Public Transit is too large-scale to be handled at anything less than the municipal level.

It’s not enough to just not participate in society

If you want the world to Change, you must leverage the mechanisms of political power.

You need Government.

asteroidtroglodyte

STOP PROPOSING INDIVIDUAL SOLUTIONS TO COLLECTIVE PROBLEMS

yunglina2007

germanysnexttopgedicht

Knigge für Unbemittelte

Ans deutsche Volk, von Ulm bis Kiel: Ihr esst zu oft! Ihr esst zu viel! Ans deutsche Volk, von Thorn bis Trier: Ihr seid zu faul! Zu faul seid ihr!

Und wenn sie euch den Lohn entzögen! Und wenn der Schlaf verboten wär! Und wenn sie euch so sehr belögen, dass sich des Reiches Balken bögen! Seid höflich und sagt Dankesehr.

Die Hände an die Hosennaht! Stellt Kinder her! Die Nacht dem Staat! Euch liegt der Rohrstock tief im Blut. Die Augen rechts! Euch geht’s zu gut.

Ihr sollt nicht denken, wenn ihr sprecht! Gehirn ist nichts für kleine Leute. Den Millionären geht es schlecht. Ein neuer Krieg käm ihnen recht, So macht den Ärmsten doch die Freude!

Ihr seid zu frech und zu begabt! Seid taktvoll, wenn ihr Hunger habt! Rasiert euch besser! Werdet zart! Ihr seid kein Volk von Lebensart.

Und wenn sie euch noch tiefer stießen und würfen Steine hinterher! Und wenn Sie euch verhaften ließen und würden nach euch Scheiben schießen! Sterbt höflich und sagt Dankesehr.

-- Erich Kästner

classicalcanvas

On the Island of Crete (1867) by Ivan Aivazovsky

shittysawtraps

hey i saw you reblogged that post… just letting you know that op was recently saw trapped and won’t say what it was for which means it was probably something really bad… so um yeah just wanted to let you know so you can block them

shittysawtraps

okay but did they or did they not survive the saw trap anon. like by jigsaw’s own rules they’re cool. how are you being more punitive than JIGSAW.

animentality

rookmerchant

So, predictions for Paddington 4. I’m thinking Paddington moves into a bedsit in Lewisham, gets stabbed by a drug dealer, then gets taxidermied and ends up in The Horniman, and spends eternity being shuffled past by mildly interested school children. It’s the only way a story like that could end really. Quite beautiful.

parkchanwoohoo

germanysnexttopgedicht

Ruhe und Ordnung

Wenn Millionen arbeiten, ohne zu leben, wenn Mütter den Kindern nur Milchwasser geben – das ist Ordnung. Wenn Werkleute rufen: »Laßt uns ans Licht! Wer Arbeit stiehlt, der muß vors Gericht!« Das ist Unordnung.

Wenn Tuberkulöse zur Drehbank rennen, wenn dreizehn in einer Stube pennen – das ist Ordnung. Wenn einer ausbricht mit Gebrüll, weil er sein Alter sichern will – das ist Unordnung.

Wenn reiche Erben im schweizer Schnee jubeln – und sommers am Comer See – dann herrscht Ruhe. Wenn Gefahr besteht, dass sich Dinge wandeln, wenn verboten wird, mit dem Boden zu handeln – dann herrscht Unordnung.

Die Hauptsache ist: Nicht auf Hungernde hören. Die Hauptsache ist: Nicht das Straßenbild stören. Nur nicht schrein. Mit der Zeit wird das schon. Alles bringt euch die Evolution. So hats euer Volksvertreter entdeckt. Seid ihr bis dahin alle verreckt? So wird man auf euern Gräbern doch lesen: sie sind immer ruhig und ordentlich gewesen.

-- Kurt Tucholsky