Azula’s relationship with her mother plays such a huge role in who she becomes and what happens to her on the show, yet it remains something of a mystery. Based on what little is revealed on the show (and in the *shudder* comics), it’s obvious that Azula and Ursa had a troubled relationship.
First, let me get something out the way. I’m not interested in judging Ursa, demonizing Azula or blaming Bryke or Gene Yang for this. It is what it is. Instead, I want to look at the evidence we have and try to figure out how the mother-daughter relationship became so damaged.
“My own mother thought I was a monster.” —Azula, “The Beach”
“I know what you really think of me. You think I’m a monster.” —Azula, “Sozin’s Comet, Part 3: Into the Inferno″
“Tell me, Mother, did you have to have a new daughter because your last one turned out to be such a monster?!” —Azula, “The Search, Part Three”
Although we never see Ursa say such a thing outright, Azula is convinced her mother thinks she’s a monster.
Let’s examine this monster thing for a sec because I think most people gloss over exactly what Azula is saying about herself when she mentions it. When Azula says that her mother thinks she’s a monster, doesn’t mean a naughty child or a bad person. She’s talking about being so repulsive and so terrifying that she’s not even human. She’s saying that the one person in the world who should love her unconditionally doesn’t even recognize her as human.
Something must have gone horribly wrong for Azula to sincerely believe this.
Neither the show nor the comics provides a full picture of Azula’s childhood, but the evidence we do have suggests that Azula grew up with a distinct lack of parental nurturing. We never see Ursa give Azula the physical or verbal affection she gives to Zuko. The only time we see Ursa specifically pay attention to Azula is to reprimand her for misbehaving.
To a degree, this is understandable. As a child, Azula is, shall we say, a handful. Yet she was still, y’know, a child, and has a child’s need for attention, affection and nurturing regardless of how naughty she could be. When Ursa (as Noriko) tells Azula that she didn’t love her enough, this is likely what she means.
The comics make it clear that Ozai went to great lengths to control Ursa. He cut her off from the family and friends she grew up with. He regularly invaded her privacy, intercepting her letters to read the contents. It’s strongly suggested that Ozai physically abused her as well.
As a prince of the Fire Nation, Ozai held absolute power over Ursa and his children. There was no way she could get away with openly defying him. The one time she even mentioned leaving him and taking their children with her, he threatened to kill them all. Ursa was trapped in her marriage with Ozai, unable to fight or flee.
Thus, it’s not a stretch to say that Ursa was deeply unhappy at the palace, if not outright depressed. The only time we see her truly happy is when she’s interacting with Zuko. As a result, it’s easy to imagine that her capacity to be emotionally attuned to both children was limited, and Zuko got the lion’s share of attention, nurturing, and affection. I doubt Ursa meant for it to happen that way, but Azula, precocious as she was, would have certainly picked up on how they were being treated differently. Yet, and I must repeat this, she was still a child, and children aren’t good at nuanced thinking. Lacking a solid foundation of affection to remind Azula that she is loved, it’s not much of a leap to internalizing that as revulsion or hate.
“What is wrong with that child?” —Ursa, “Zuko Alone”
By the time Ursa even came around to wondering what was going on with Azula, seeking Ursa’s attention through misbehaving had already become habitual for Azula. Setting fire to one of the flowers in the royal garden couldn’t have been a more blatant demand for attention if she tried.
That’s not surprising. What is surprising is that Ursa never picked up on it. She’s so out of touch with her daughter that she doesn’t have a sense of what’s normal and abnormal for her. Like the turtleduck scene. Ursa knows right away that Zuko hurling a chunk of bread at them is out of character for him, and she asks him about it. Meanwhile, Azula says some weird and slightly disturbing stuff for an eight-year-old, but Ursa never asks where she picked that up.
I know what you may be thinking, gentle reader. Even if Ursa did ask, Azula would just lie about it, especially if Ozai told her not to tell her mother anything. You’re probably right, but that raises more questions, like, “Who is teaching this child to keep secrets from her own mother, and why?”
Maybe if circumstances were different, she would have gotten around to asking those questions.
This is a pretty long post with a lot to chew on, so I’m gonna stop here.
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