thinking of them always

just mediocre sfw writing about the marauders

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Hi. This is just a place for me to dump all of my thoughts about the marauders. I have nowhere near enough commitment to write a whole fic so this is my solution. But seriously, props to anyone's who's managed to complete a piece of writing. Mad respect.

Anyways I'll be putting general headcannons and opinions on here as well as my favourite fanart (none of which I've created myself) and the occasional one shot

You can call me Alix :)

enjoy

edit:

Just a few more things to say...

Proof reading and editing? Who are they?

If you find a grammatical error in my writing, point it out. I'll give you a highfive before going to cry in the bathroom

If you see one of my posts and are like, oh my God, that's my art!

or

oh my God, I know who's art that is!

Please let me know and I'll credit them.

Feel free to give suggestions for one shots or interesting concepts but I reserve the right to not do it either because I don't like it or I don't want to.

If you don't like one of my takes please just go talk shit about me to a friend and not to me directly.

also...

I will be using the tag #sfw as there will not be any explicit scenes or smut. It might be hinted at and there will most likely be kissing but nothing too heavy.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

"Blood on my hands from falling into your chest

caught myself on the barbs around your heart

wipe the red on your photograph

you're blushing now."

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

The Piercing

focus on James + Sirius

approx. 600 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay. Sirius. Sirius!” The boy holds out a hand in attempt to stop his friend from doing something stupid.

Sirius turns and quirks an eyebrow. “It’ll be fine, James. Stop worrying, really. You’re turning into your mother, Merlin love her.” He twists to resume the scoping of his face for the perfect place to stick a needle. 

He pulls the skin across his t-section tight and gently prods the area with the tip. “Well, it’s definitely sharp.” He shrugs and lines up the needle with his selected spot. Just over his right eyebrow. Sirius feels a hand clamp down on his forearm, preventing him from stabbing himself. “James, come on. Let me do this. I swear on Pete’s life I’ll be okay.” His lips twitch and the ghost of a smirk crosses his features. 

James huffs and relents. “Fine, but we’re doing it properly.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

“Prongs, where did you find ice?” 

“I’m a wizard, Sirius. I can conjure up a little frozen water.” James assures. Sirius isn’t having it, and looks at his best mate sceptically. 

“Fine. The kitchen elves like me. I said I wanted a cold drink.” Sirius cracks a smile and turns to lead James into the bathroom. “Come on then, mum.” Sirius lowers himself onto the edge of the bath tub and hands James a permanent marker. “To draw little dots where the needle is supposed to go.” 

“Right. So where did you want it? About here?” James prompts Sirius to look in the mirror at where he’s pointing.

“Exactly."

With confirmation, James gently dots two circles onto Sirius’ skin; one for the needle to enter, and one for it to exit. “Now for the ice.”

After holding the ice to his skin for an amount of time that Sirius decides is “more than enough”, James starts murmuring reassurances to himself. “It’s fine. Sirius will be fine. Heaps of people pierce their own eyebrows. It’s not dangerous. We’re completely prepared. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.”

“Jesus, mate. You’d think you were the one about to stab himself.” Sirius jokes, whilst lifting the implement to his face for the final time. He takes a deep breath, staring intently at himself in the mirror. Pinching the skin, he makes sure that the needle is right on the dot, and then he exhales and pushes the metal through flesh. “Agh, fuck-cock-munching-arse-sucking-fucking-shit-balls.” Sirius hisses through his teeth. “Well that bloody hurt.”

“Are you alright?” James lowers his hands from his eyes and begins to fuss over his friend. “Oh, Merlin! There’s a needle in your head! Pads there’s a needle sticking out of your head! We have to take it out! Oh my... Oh, I don’t feel so good. Sirius, I don’t feel good.” James slowly sinks to his knees and slides to the floor, head resting against the vanity. His eyelids flutter and then he’s out.

“Bloody hell. It’s like I’ve been decapitated or something.” Sirius mutters to himself, shaking his head fondly. He gets to replacing the needle with a small metal ring and cleaning the wound. By the time James comes to, Sirius had packed away their supplies and was standing above his friend smiling down at him. 

“Well, what do you think?”

“Wicked.” James breathes, eyes wide in admiration.

“Come on” Sirius extends a hand to pull James up off the floor, “I want to go show Moony. See what he thinks.” He smiles brightly and leaves the bathroom calling for his friend. “Oh, Mooooooonyyyyy!”

A crash sounds as a book falls to the floorboards. “Jesus blustering Christ....”

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

I started thinking

I am a mural of my actions

there isn't a part of me that isn't tied into someone else

fragmented ceramic with string connected to each shard

who am I without others?

when you tug on the strings, the mural shatters

nothing left

soldier, poet, king

which archetype are you?

pushed into responsibility

all I do, I do for praise

my inherent value dependent on external force

look at this thing I made

watch me do this

can you do what I can do?

on all fours, I'm a stool for your feet

yeah no worries

all good

don't worry about it

yeah I'm fine

she'll be right

I've got it

of course I can do that for you

here, just let me break my bones and sever my limbs for you

do you need a shoulder to cry on?

I'll cut it off for you to use as a pillow

do you need a second set of eyes?

I'll take a teaspoon to my face and gouge

do you you need a hand?

here, have mine

severed at the wrist with flesh hanging off in chunks

I'll hold your hair back, caress your face, brush your teeth, itch your back

say the word

I'm everyone's but my own.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

I touch myself

run my fingers along my ribs

stretch myself out and poke and prod

feeling the body that I know to be separate from myself

my bones

my skin

my muscles and tendons

this isn't me, is it?

I'm a body

a slab of meat

a stream of consciousness

a spirit

how fitting that I so despise being touched

that I cringe at a moment of contact and brush myself off after feeling skin against skin

yet, I imagined my hands to be other

an outside force

another person I deem to be worthy of my flesh

I long to be caressed

have a hand sweep down my side

fingers curling in my hair

a self imposed barrier I can't break down, I wish for love

I wish for love and closeness and casual intimacy

between friends, lovers, family

a pat on the back

ruffled hair

hands held and arms linked

I want for someone to lean on me

like I am the only thing holding them up

I want to be depended on

I want to be touched.

I hate being touched

Oh, how I wish to be touched.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

To Forget

focus on Remus + Sirius

approx. 460 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, easy there.” Remus says softly, supporting Sirius, arm around his waist. Sirius sways and places a hand on the wall of the tunnel to steady himself, head falling forwards.

“Ok, how about- how about we sit down for a moment. Yeah?” Remus guides Sirius down to the ground, their backs pressed against the brick and their toes touching the other side of the passage.

“‘m sorry,” Sirius slurs, tilting his head back to look Remus in the eye. Remus tries not to flinch at the stench of alcohol drifting from the boys mouth. Instead he mutters reassurances, “it’s okay, it’s fine Pads. I know, I know it hurts. You’re alright, it’s going to be alright. He’ll be okay. He’ll be fine, Sirius.”

Sirius coughs out a harsh breath and heaves, head thrown between his knees.

A sob echoes off the walls and he buries himself in Remus’ side, trying to hide from the world. He mumbles into Remus’ coat, “I don’t want to remember. I didn’t want to remember. I don’t want to remember him like that. He- they, hurt him. They hurt him so much Moony. He didn’t want to, I swear.” Sirius begins hyperventilating, breath coming in short bursts. Remus rubs soothing circles into Sirius’ back, “Breathe, just breathe. In.... and out.... In.... and out.... That’s it.”

After calming down, Sirius’ voice rings clear, “They made him do it. They made him take the mark. I wasn’t there. I should’ve been there.” His breath stutters for a moment, “It should have been me.”

Remus is left in stunned silence and his hand stills. Struggling to find words he says, “No. Absolutely not. Merlin, Sirius it isn’t your responsibility. He isn’t your responsibility. You can’t torture yourself with this guilt when you’re not even minutely at fault.”

Knowing Remus is right, Sirius stays silent, squeezing his eyes shut. Logically he's aware that there was nothing he could do, but that does nothing to lift the crushing weight that has settled in the pit of his stomach.

“I’m sorry Sirius.” Remus says quietly.

At this, silent tears stream down Sirius’ face as he whimpers into his friends coat, mourning the life his brother will never get to live.

Half an hour later, when his tears had all dried, he lifts his head and turns to face Remus, all previous emotional turmoil on the backburner.

“You’re always so mean to me.” Sirius pouts, “Why are you always so mean to me? But not right now. Right now you’re being so nice.” He blinks slowly and runs a hand over his face. “You’re being so nice Moony.” Sirius smiles dopily. “My moon.”

Remus’ heart cracks as he reaches out to hold the other boy, only to find him unconscious and drooling. Oh well, he can stay here for a few more hours.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Constellations

focus on Remus + Sirius

approx. 350 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Moony?” Sirius starts.

“Mmm?” Comes the subdued response, speaking into the table that he has his head resting on.

He pauses. “You have a lot of freckles.”

Remus snorts. “Yes, I am aware of that, believe it or not.”

Sirius blushes and reaches up to his earring, fiddling with it. “No, they’re- they’re pretty. They, remind me of the night sky...” He trails off and looks away, embarrassed.

Remus’ eyebrows raise, hidden from Sirius’ sight.

After a moment of silence, Sirius begins trying to explain himself. “Your freckles look like stars, you know? Like you could draw lines between them and name constellations. Like... This one here, this one could be Aquila, the eagle.” Sirius trails his finger lightly down Remus’ forearm.

Remus closes his eyes and relishes the feeling. Selfishly, he asks softly, “Yeah? What other ones are there?” knowing full well that he was only listening to Sirius’ tentative voice, and not the words he was saying.

Sirius moves his hand up towards Remus’ bicep and exhales softly when he brushes his finger over it. “Here, this looks like the Canis Major. And there- that’s Sirius. The brightest star in the sky,” he says with a soft chuckle.

“You are.” Remus silently agrees, not voicing his confirmation. Instead he says out loud, ”Draw it for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Quite certain, Pads”

Sirius reaches for the pen sitting at the edge of the table and takes the cap off. Hesitantly, he places a steadying hand on Remus’ upper arm, enjoying the firmness beneath his fingers, and began to trace the all too familiar shape onto skin.

Remus sighs inwardly and relaxes into it, a willing canvas. Remus would let Sirius draw on him for hours, be it pictures of flowers or stars or anything in between. He was eager to provide a blank slate, a piece of spare paper. He would let Sirius scribble out mistakes and rub his skin raw with an eraser, as long as he was of use. Pleased to be parchment, Remus gave his skin to him, and revelled in the way Sirius’ hand glided across the night sky.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Late Night Chats

focus on James + Sirius

approx. 350 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius sits up in his bed, the covers falling to his hips. “psst, James. James is that you?” He whispers into the darkness.

The floorboards creak and a voice whispers back, “Yeah. Yeah Pads it’s me.” The creaking sounds becomes closer as James moves to cross the distance between their beds. Sirius rushes to open the curtains for him and throws the covers back all the way. James' face peeks around the edge of the fabric, his glasses reflecting the only light in the room. “Do you-“ James gestures to the bed. Sirius nods quickly, allowing him into his space. He shuffles across the mattress to make room for James as he climbs onto the bed.

The sit and stare at each other for a moment, James scanning Sirius’ face as much as he could in the dark. Sirius clears his throat and reaches around to close the curtain, and James takes the opportunity to wraps his arms around Sirius’ torso, pulling him into a tight hug. He presses his face into Sirius’ shoulder and he feels the other boy flinch before relaxing into the embrace. Sirius snakes his arms around James’ waist and fists the fabric of his shirt. He tries to keep his breathing steady but then it hitches and he feels a knot form in his throat. “It’s alright Pads,” James murmurs and begins to rubs soothing circles on Sirius’ back. Sirius just lets the tears build in his eyes until they overflow and begin steaming down his face, landing to rest on James’ shoulder. They remain entangled until Sirius’ breathing quietens and his grip on James loosens.

When they part James takes out his wand and whispers a silencing spell before lifting up the covers and gesturing for Sirius to come underneath them with him. “Lumos.” The space is filled with a soft light, allowing Sirius to see James’ faces pinched with concern. He knows how he looks. Eyes puffy and red, nose running. But more than that, his cheeks were sunken and hollow, and the usually bright spark in his eyes had dulled. James looks like he’s chewing his words, trying to figure out how best to broach the subject. “I’m guessing the holidays weren’t exactly kind to you,” he settles on. A bitter smile makes its way onto Sirius’ face and he shakes his head ruefully.

“Right. Well. Do you wanna- do you want to talk about it?” James asks.

“You know, just the usual. My parents being the lovely people that they are and treating their children with the utmost respect and compassion.”

“Sirius,” James says tiredly.

Sirius swallows and nods, “They um, they found out Reg was playing for the quidditch team again, you know, after, after what happened last time. And well, they lost it at him. They were ranting about how he was a disappointment and how he should know better than to disobey them especially after- Well after how I turned out I guess. Then,” his breathing started to quicken, “then Mum drew her wand and pointed it at him. I knew what spell she was going to use, I’m not an idiot. But I couldn’t just stand there and watch. I figured that I was already used to it, and Reg hadn’t been exposed to it yet and I really didn’t want to see that last bit of hope fade from his eyes, watching as his parents used the torture curse on him. I thought I could preserve the last bit of his innocence, you know? So obviously I pushed him out of the way and took it for him.”

James inhales sharply and winces, “Sirius, you know that protecting Reg isn’t your responsibility. I mean I’m sure he was grateful and all, but you shouldn’t have to literally-“

Sirius laughs darkly and interrupts. “Grateful? No. The little shit completely shut me out after that. Didn’t speak to me for the rest of the holidays.”

“Oh.” James says softly. “Sirius, I’m sorry. Maybe there was a reason or-“

“No. James don’t- don’t make excuses for him. I’ve learnt my lesson after all these years. I’m fine. Really.” He looks down at his lap and begins fiddling with the hem of his shorts. “You can, you can leave now, if you want.”

“Sirius”, James says with a pained expression on his face. “Don’t shut me out Pads, I’m here for you.”

“Just go,” Sirius bites the inside of his cheek and doesn’t look up to see James fall silent and turn to leave.

“Knox.” James whispers, cancelling the spell and sliding the curtain across the rail, slipping out onto the wooden floor.

Sirius listens to James tip toeing across the floorboards and when he hears him get onto his own bed, he stops trying to hold back his sobs. He brings his pillow to his face and begins to cry.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Haircut

focus on Marlene + Sirius

approx. 750 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marlene watches as chunks of blonde hair float down onto the tiled floor. She’s sitting on the edge of the bath, hands tangled in her lap.

“Thank you guys. Really. My parents- my parents would never do this for me, so I appreciate it.”

“Of course, Marls.” Lily says compassionately, standing to the side with a pair of scissors in her hand.

A fist lands on her shoulder and James says, “Don’t worry about it McKinnon. I’m just surprised you trust me enough to let me near your precious golden locks.”

Marlene elbows James and he sniggers, “Oi, watch it. I’m carrying live clippers. Wouldn’t want them to just,” he pauses and brandishes the the clippers like a knife, “slip.” He says, popping the ‘p’ and lowering his implement to Marlene’s scalp. Marlene rolls her eyes and gestures for them to continue.

After a few minutes of snipping and shaving, Lily looks down at Marlene with an uncertain expression on her face.

“What?” Marlene asks timidly.

“Uhh, hang on just one minute. I’ve got to fix something.” She holds her hand out and James reluctantly gives up the clippers. Lily bends forwards to get a better view and gently begins evening out the length on the side of Marlene’s head.

Marlene watches as Lily fixes James’ work. The tip of her tongue is poking slightly out the corner of her mouth, and her forehead is scrunched in concentration. Marlene listens as the buzzing sound works its way up from the nape of her neck, to just at her ear.

Lily stands back and admires her work. “There. All done.”

Marlene stands up from the tub and brushes as much hair as she can off of her clothes. She walks the two steps it takes to get to the mirror, hating the way that the shorn off hair pricks into her skin. She meets her own eyes in the reflection; big and brown, overcome with emotion.

She looks herself over, once, twice. She *sees* herself in the mirror. The person she’s been trying to hide for years now. A single tear rolls down her cheek and she spins to face her friends. She looks them both straight in the eyes and thanks them.

Turning towards the door to face the world, she runs a hand through her short hair, relishing in the way it tickles her scalp.

“Are you ready?” James asks. She just nods and pushes through the doorway, marching out of the dorm room and down the stairs into the common area.

Sirius is lounging on the couch floating socks above his head. Marlene clears her throat and his head swivels to face them. His eyes immediately go wide in shock and he screams, hands coming up to cradle his cheeks. “How could you do this to me?” He gasps and flicks his hair for dramatic effect. “I can’t believe it. Such betrayal. I never even saw it coming!” Sirius mimes stabbing himself in the heart and rolls off the couch onto the carpet.

Quickly standing, he rushes over and points a finger right at James’ chest. “And you! Oh! The agony! I was blindsided!” James quickly reaches out to ruffle Sirius’ hair but he dodges away before any permanent damage can be done.

“Alright, Black. Enough with the dramatics.” Lily is standing with her arms crossed, a stern look on her face.

Sirius sinks into himself slightly and gives a salute, “Yes ma’am.”

Marlene is standing still, with her mouth slightly open from shock.

“You look great Marls, Sirius is just being a cock.” Lily reassures.

“Yeah, right dick you are, hey Pads?” James teases Sirius as he follows him back to the couch. Sirius just waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder and flops back down onto the cushions. The other three follow and they all squish in.

Sirius turns his head to face Marlene, bravado all gone and states matter of factly, “You look hot McKinnon.” He winks.

“Sorry mate, I’ve actually got a girlfriend. Appreciate your interest though.” Marlene remarks unapologetically.

“Ah well,” Sirius says with a sigh. “I’ll always be waiting for when you decide you can find someone better.”

“Yeah, right. Dorcas is significantly more attractive than you. Also you cannot tell me that you would ever, in your right mind leave Remus. He’s got you all wound around his pinky.”

“That he does,” Sirius says without shame. “You’d have to send me to jail to get me away from him.”

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Regulus Black as a pinterest board. no explanations.

[vynaura]

tried a more painterly style for this marylily piece!! this was fun to do <3

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

@likeafunerall is an actual miracle worker. please, please check her out on instagram.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Spin The Bottle

focus on Remus + Sirius

approx. 680 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheering erupts and Frank sits back on his heels, grinning, eyes still locked on Alice.

"Alright Bones, your turn.” Alice prompts the girl sitting next in the circle.

Amelia leans forwards and twists the bottle before flinging it in the opposite direction. It spins for a couple seconds before coming to a stop. Peter, at the other end of the bottle immediately flushes a deep shade of red.

“Yes Wormy, get some!” Sirius shouts in encouragement of his nervous friend. Amelia smiles kindly at Pete and shuffles across the circle towards him. “Do you want to do this?” She asks.

Peter nods and gulps before leaning in, eyes closes and lips puckered. Amelia meets him in the middle and their lips touch for a fraction of a moment before she pulls back. She looks Peter in the eye and then goes in for more. The kiss lasts no more than three seconds but when they separate, both of them are blushing deeply, eyes bright.

There are excited “whoop-whoops” and wolf whistles, and James claps Peter on the back. Sirius who is sitting next to Amelia imitates the kiss that has just taken place with great exaggeration, wrapping his arms around himself and making smooching noises.

“Real mature Black!” Marlene calls from the other side of the circle.

Sirius winks at her and speaks to everyone. “So I guess that would make it my turn?” He quirks an eyebrow at the group. They all nod affirmatively and Sirius moves to spin the bottle. It turns quickly and begins slowing down when it reaches Dorcas. It flicks over her and stops. Sirius looks up to assess who he has to kiss when he realises that it has landed on Remus. The bottle is pointing straight at him, and Remus is as still as a statue.

“Alright, re-spin.” Frank suggests.

Sirius clenches his jaw and opens his mouth to object. “Now hang on, I’m no wuss. The bottle landed on Remus, so it’s Remus whom I shall bless with the presence of my lips. No backing out.”

Frank shrugs and Sirius looks at Remus, concerned his decision might be rejected. Remus hasn’t moved and he is staring straight into Sirius’ eyes, face carefully blank. Sirius starts making his way towards Remus, his heart pounding. He pauses in front of him and clears his throat. Remus’ eyes flick to his lips and his adam’s apple bobs. Sirius runs his tongue over his bottom lip in anticipation.

“Hurry up ladies, we haven’t got all night.” Mary says loudly.

At that, Sirius hesitantly leans in and Remus impatiently crashes their lips together. Sirius moans when Remus’ hand reaches up and tangles itself in Sirius’ hair, their lips interlocked. Sirius pushes forwards into Remus and braces a hand on his chest, revelling at the muscle underneath his fingers. Remus’ other hand comes to rest on Sirius’ hip as he deepens the kiss. Their friends are all cheering and yelling excitedly but Sirius can only hear his heart pounding and the groan he elicits from the other boy when he gently nips at Remus’ bottom lip. Remus’ fingers clench in the fabric at Sirius’ hip as he attempts to close the gaps between their bodies, pressing their chests together. Sirius eventually breaks the kiss and pulls back, breathing hard. He can only stare at Remus, whose chest is expanding noticeably with every breath. Remus is looking up at Sirius, starry eyed. He runs his eyes over Sirius’ messy hair and pink lips and internally combusts.

James coughs and the two boys spring apart.

“Well, I think we can all agree that the kiss was in fact adequate. So uh, who’s next?”

Marlene suddenly shouts to everyone, “Homo homies!” and then launches herself at Dorcas, joining their lips.

Lily cheers loudly and Mary and James join in. Soon everyone is chanting, “HOMO HOMIES! HOMO HOMIES! HOMO HOMIES!” Marlene stands to conduct the choir. Fists are pumping in the air and Lily and Mary are smiling at each other as they reach for the other's hand, content in the chaos.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

The Mirror of Desire

focus on the marauders

approx. 1100 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oi, you two. Shut it, else Filch will hear.”

A mumbled reply of “Sorry, Prongs” and “Yeah yeah whatever” float from beneath the shimmering fabric of the invisibility cloak.

“Seriously lads, sometimes it’s like you hate each other or something.” Peter joins.

“Nah. Moony and I just like a good argument sometimes,” Sirius grins into the dark,“Isn’t that right Remus?”

Remus hums noncommittally and swats Sirius’ hand when he jabs him in the ribs, teasing.

James pauses and points down the hall, “Alright, I think it’s that way.” He pauses to look down at the map in his hands and leads them further into the pitch black.

"So, what exactly are we looking for?" Remus asks.

"You'll see." James replies mysteriously.

They turn at the end of the corridor and enter a seemingly empty room. At the back stands a tall object covered by a cloth. Once they are all inside and the door is closed, James throws the invisibility cloak off of them and marches straight at the mysterious object. He rips the cloth off with a flourish and gestures dramatically at what is uncovered.

“A mirror?” Pete seems confused.

“Not just any old mirror. The mirror of Erised,” James explains.

“Erised?” Remus questions. “Let me guess, it shows our deepest desires? Someone was being a funny bugger.”

James squints his eyes at Remus, “How did you know?”

“Prongs.. Erised is desire spelt backwards.”

James’ eyes widen behind his glasses and he smacks himself on the forehead. “Merlin, how did I not see that?”

“Not many people are as clever as our Moony. Don’t compare yourself to him James.” Sirius says earnestly and smiles when he sees the flush that has risen to Remus’ face at the compliment.

James clears his throat. “Alright who’s first?”

Pete steps forwards towards the mirror and squeaks at what he sees.

“What do you see Wormy?” Sirius asks.

Pete stares at the scene in the glass, him being lifted up onto the shoulders of his friends and paraded around the common room, everyone chanting his name.

“Oh, I see myself going to collect a trophy. I think it’s the international wizards chess championships.”

“Wicked” Sirius responds.

“I’d say that’s an achievable goal Pete. No one plays chess like you.” James encourages Peter. “Okay it’s my turn now.” James steps in front of the mirror, smiling in anticipation. His smiles fades and he swallows harshly as his deepest desire takes shape. He sees himself crouching down next to a toddler that resembles him almost perfectly; brown skin and unruly black hair coupled with warm brown eyes. Almost perfectly, save for the finer bone structure and delicate features. No, those come from the man standing behind him, hand on his shoulder. Regulus smiles down at their child and squeezes James’ shoulder lovingly. He joins him on the floor and leans in to kiss his jaw. James watches on longingly in a trance. He can almost feels the ghost of a kiss on his skin.

“Hello? Prongs, are you in there?”

James is snapped out of his trance and turns to face Remus. He looks at him kindly and asks what he saw.

James forces a sheepish grin onto his face and lies, “Evans and I have a kid. He’s got my eyes and her hair.”

Sirius groans good-naturedly and shoves James out of the way “Such a family man, you are.” He watches the mirror expectantly and flinches when an image forms. It’s him and his family. Regulus is there, arm around his big brothers shoulders, smiling. Sirius has never seen Regulus this happy. Their parents stand behind them, except something is different. They seem softer. Kind. They don’t look so harsh, as if they would never even consider hurting their children. Like they would do anything to stop that from happening. Tears spring to Sirius’ eyes and he swipes at them angrily. He takes a moment to compose himself and turns to face the group.

“I saw my family. My real family. Effie and Monte, and you Prongs.” Sirius ruffles James’ hair and gestures for Remus to take his place in front of the mirror.

Remus tentatively walks towards the glass and pauses. He watches as a full moon begins to peak out from behind clouds. He braces himself for the transformation but it never comes. He waits, but all he sees is a boy, unencumbered by the harsh realities of the world they live in. His face is free of scars and his eyes are bright.

Remus continues watching himself and says, “I see me. But I’m not a werewolf.” I look happy, he thinks.

Silence follows and Pete breaks it with an idea. “Do you think it would work if we all stood in front of it? Like would it show our collective group desire?” They all pause to think and James shrugs and says, “Well it couldn’t hurt to try.”

They all shuffle in front of the mirror and wait.

“Nothing’s changing,” Pete says.

“Patience, Wormy.” Sirius scolds.

They all stare, entranced, as the image in front of them begins to change. They watch themselves age. They grow taller, their faces mature, and they stand straighter.

“We’re getting old! Look! Sirius, you’re starting to get wrinkles!” Peter starts excitedly.

Normally, Sirius would bite back, but he was too busy watching as his older versions hand drifts closer to Remus’. He flicks his eyes to Remus to see that his gaze is fixated on that same region. Their hands meet in the middle, and young Remus looks up at Sirius to see that he is already watching him. Sirius blushes and looks away, going back to seeing himself age.

Remus stares at their hands joined in the mirror. He knows Sirius sees it too. The way his cheeks turned red when Remus caught him staring confirmed it. Remus’ heart begins beating harder as he flexes his fingers and slowly moves them across the space between him and Sirius.

James and Peter are still engrossed by their ageing selves and don’t notice when Sirius flinches and then slides his fingers between Remus’.

“I can’t believe our deepest desire is just to be old. That’s so boring.” Peter complains.

“Come on Petey, don’t be like that. We’re going to grow old together, isn’t that nice?” James argues.

“Yeah, I guess. But I still wish we saw something that would never happen, like us all being world famous quidditch players on the same team or something. That would be more exciting. Because we already know this is going to happen.”

“Yeah.” Remus says softly.

“I can’t wait to grow old with you,” Sirius speaks to them all, but his eyes are on Remus.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Ring Toss

focus on Lily + marauders

approx. 470 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll go,” Lily volunteers to fetch the boys for a big game of exploding snap.

Mary smiles, “Thanks Lils.”

Lily stands from the couch and makes her way up the stars to the boys dorm. As she approaches the door she hears muffled shouts and yells of encouragement. “Yes Pads that was perfect!” “Come on Wormy! This is the one!” and, “Remus don’t lose your streak now...”

Curious as to what they were doing, and as to James’ whereabouts, she turns the door handle. Lily’s eyes immediately fall on the enormous deer at the end of the dorm, and then they drift to the group of three boys, their expressions a mix of shock and panic. Sirius had his hands held out and eyes wide, gripping a pair of underwear. Remus was similarly posed, excluding the underwear, which seemed to have found themselves on Peter’s head, his face peeking through a leg hole. Pete had been holding briefs, but upon Lily’s entry he had tossed them at her in alarm and they now lay to rest at her feet.

“What in Merlin’s name is happening in here?! And why the bloody hell is there a deer over there!” She exclaims and points to where the creature had been only moments before. In it’s place was a boy, with underwear strewn across the floor around him, and one pair hanging across his left ear.

“Stag.” He corrects, face deadpanned.

“James! But you were- there was- I swear I saw- Where did the deer go?!” Lily gestures frantically and begins to believe herself going mad.

“Once again, Evans. It was a stag. You saw a majestic stag.” James sighs and rubs his temples in faux frustration.

“I don’t understand...” Lily says slowly shaking her head. She looks to the other boys to find clarity, but instead sees Remus with a large black dog at his feet, and a rat perched on his shoulder. Remus can see the gears turning in her head, when something clicks and her eyes brighten in understanding.

“You’re animagi!” She shouts in realisation.

“Sheesh Evans, not so loud. The whole castle doesn’t need to know.” James appears at Lily’s side and places a hand on her shoulder.

“How did you do it? When did it happen? Why did you decide that you were above wizarding law? I’m assuming you’re not registered. Who else knows about it?” She spat out the questions like her tongue was on fire.

“All in due time, Lily my friend.” Sirius was back to human form, and Peter follows suit soon after.

“You might want to take a seat.” Remus grimaces whilst rubbing the back of his neck.

“Wait, but what were you doing with the underwear?” Lily questions.

“Oh we were playing ring toss with James’ antlers.” Peter supplies helpfully.

Lily sighs, “Of course you were.”

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

Pumpkin Juice

focus on Peter + marauders

approx. 500 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James, do you ever stop eating?” Lily asks, looking at James' overflowing breakfast plate.

“Lay off, Evans. I’ve got to get my energy up for the game later.”

“Yea,” Peter joins from the other side of the table, “he needs his fuel,” with suggestive emphasis on the last word.

Sirius laughs, “Nice one Wormy.”

Peter blushes from the praise and James hurries to defend himself. “I said that one time. Once. Are you really going to hold that over me for the rest of my life?”

“Oh, one hundred percent.” Remus joins in with a grin. James sighs and starts pushing his eggs around on his plate dejectedly.

“Cheer up James, I’m sure you’ll do great today.” Lily tries to lift his spirits.

“Yeah you’ll be amazing. You always are mate.” Sirius agrees.

“You’re the team’s star player, really.” Remus looks at Sirius and chuckles softly at his joke. Sirius rolls his eyes and continues comforting James.

Remus redirects his attention to the rest of the room and scans the tables. His eyes land upon a girl looking their way. He follows her gaze and finds that she’s staring directly at Peter, who is laughing about something with the 4th year boy sitting next to them. His cheeks are glowing and his eyes sparkle. Remus nudges Peter with his elbow to get his attention. Pete looks back expectantly and Remus says, “Peter, I think you have an admirer,” nodding his head in the direction of the girl staring at him.

Amelia Bones is her name. She’s in their year, and they have herbology together. Peter looks confused and turns his head to find the girl smiling at him. He smiles back and raises his glass of pumpkin juice in acknowledgement before bringing it to his lips. Amelia winks outrageously at him and catches Peter by surprise. He chokes on his drink and snorts pumpkin juice onto the table in front of him. He starts violently coughing as Remus pats him on the back. James, Sirius, and Lily all stare at him, amused.

Lily has the common decency to ask if he’s okay, and Pete responds with a weak thumbs up as he continues to cough. James and Sirius look at each other and start cracking up, leaning so far back on the bench that it’s becoming dangerous. They’re both wheezing and Pete looks back to see that Amelia has joined in, yet she seems to be good natured, her eyes still twinkling.

“Ah, shit!” Peter turns to look what happened and sees a pair of legs sticking up above the table. Sirius looks down at James and starts laughing harder, patting him on the sole of his shoe. Remus was pissing himself, both hands on his stomach and even Lily was cackling. Peter puts his head in both hands and squeezes his eyes shut before even he too, starts giggling. Heads all around the room are turning to see what the fuss is about but the marauders don’t have a care in the world, content to laugh together until it ended.

[sunshinemoonlightandstarbright]

"For a boy who walks around like he's made of stone, Regulus touches like the sun."

-Choices by MesserMoon on Ao3