Moving On
I have spent the last year or so, deciding whether I could retire, and whether I should retire. I must have interviewed dozens of friends and acquaintances who are retired; some, my age, some a bit older. Some have been retired for 10 years or more, some a year or two. Some said, “You will know when it’s time”. I waited, but didn’t get a sign. Did that mean it wasn’t time? I don’t normally get those signs. Usually I overthink everything to death. I wait for a sign but it never comes, so I have to take matters into my own hands. I interviewed people about their retirement--what was a typical day, how did they feel about being retired, and did they regret it. The answers (and I’m not saying my friends are typical, but there were a lot of them) were probably about 98% positive. They were busier than ever, they loved being retired, and I should definitely do it. Several remarked that I lived in NYC and there would be a million things to do. Truly, I expected more hesitant answers, but in fact, they were highly enthusiastic in nearly every case. That gave me hope.
I started by asking my husband what he thought. While he is a year older than me, retirement is the furthest thing from his mind. His work (scientific research) is his life - his job is his hobby. He told me he doesn’t know how to play golf, so what would he do? That is how he envisions retirement. I don’t play golf either and don’t intend to take it up anytime now or in the future. He told me the decision on whether to retire is mine.
The next, and probably most important phase, was to look at finances. I had a financial advisor run the numbers. Not bad. In fact, pretty good - at least better than expected! All that retirement saving was apparently paying off. In addition, I’m in a State pension plan at work, and thought I had to work 10 years to be vested. Retiring next year would only bring me to eight. There’s something in the pension world called “service credits”. You can buy them and add that to your service. I found out I could buy additional service credits for similar work done in another state, but this was not as easy as it sounded. Without going into boring detail, I successfully bought an additional two years of service credit - but it took several months of frustration. I got to the ten years of vesting, which I then found out that I didn’t actually need because of my age! Nevertheless, that part worked out.
That turned out to be the easy part. The “can” was answered, but the “should” not so much. I continued to overthink. I waited again for a sign. None came. I should tell you, I love my job, but I also love doing other things and don’t have time for many of them. I want to play more piano, I want to travel, see grand babies more frequently, and just have fun. I tried envisioning staying another year, or two years. That didn’t feel particularly good. Maybe that was the sign.
During this time, my husband’s cousin, a vivacious woman in her 70s who lives on a boat with her 80-something significant other came to visit. She is one of my favorite people who I don’t get to see nearly often enough. I mentioned to her that I was thinking of retiring but didn’t know what to do. She told me a story. Back when she and her husband were in their 50s, they had a very successful business and worked very long hours. After many tries, she successfully convinced her husband that they should cut back and semi-retire. Shortly thereafter, her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died. Her next words were obvious, but for me, profound. “No one knows how long they have. I’m not telling you to retire, but I am telling you to do what you want.” She is a person who has had plenty of difficulties in life, and yet has a positive outlook. Her words continued to echo.
I decided that although I enjoyed my job, I had limited time in which my health would continue to cooperate and that I could take advantage of the time I would have to do things other than work. I did not want to wait until I became decrepit to stop working.
Because I am the director, I gave my library board six months notice, plenty of time to find my replacement (although in reality my assistant director is super-able and waiting in the wings, and the board is happy to have her). While they were surprised (why is everyone always surprised when you announce your retirement?) they took it well. Next I told my staff, who congratulated me and moved onto something else. I breathed a sigh of relief, and moved on to learning to play MahJongg, just like, as my daughter described it, “An old Jewish lady”. And I’m proud of it.











