HEY! Assbutt!

I'm Laney

[superhooman]

In case anyone is curious what college is like 😅✌

[momunofu-deactivated20150808]

chillin on a Saturday night

[thepope]

Calm down jojo

[momunofu-deactivated20150808]

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

[totallyfubar]

I dunno, man,

 sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

[witchchad-deactivated20160310]

get on my level boys

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

[nerdgul]

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

[tyrannosarcophagous]

this post appears once every million years

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

I kept hoping someone else would one up me and I’d have to escalate even further but nobody has.

[superhooman]

Anyone remember my post about my three day old baby goat named Zinnia? Well this is her now. All grown up! With 2 three day old babies of her very own. Slipping on the same slide she did 😂🤗😍

[superhooman]

Let's just take a minute to appreciate this adorable face 😍😍😍

[onlytwitterpics]

[vegyta-deactivated20181007]

Y'all made it seem like drinking 8 cups of water was supposed to cure my depression y'all r all liars

[fuks]

drink more water

[drankinwatahmelin]

coconut oil

[nutinurmommyfivetimes-deactivat]

cum

[imsoshive]

Suck a dick

[notnando]

black soap

[thiskidterry-deactivated2023012]

eat ass

[colachampagnedad]

[superhooman]

My mom has ADD and she gets distracted super easily. I hated middle school with a passion and my school had a front entrance and a back entrance. So sometimes I would wait until my brother was getting out of the car and tell my mom I wanted to be dropped off at the other entrance. Before we got out of the parking lot to whatever entrance we dropped my brother off at I would start talking to her about an interesting topic and get her distracted enough that she would just start driving home. Usually we would get halfway home and she would realize she didn't drop me off. Then she would say "fuck it... we're playing hooky" and she would just take me home.

[jayacklesdaily]

Favorite Celebrity Meme ➜ 3/5 Favorite Hair Moments

[superhooman]

Hot Damn 😍

[deanwsexual]

Happy birthday Jenn! ♥♥  (Dean Winchester + season 9)

[superhooman]

😍😍😍😍😍

[qlazzarusgooodbyehorses]

[superhooman]

I was just trying to take a nice picture of my baby goat.....

[tt-vision]

when ur notps are the most popular pairings but u gotta respect everyone’s choices

[filthyprotozoan]

we tried to convince the history teacher that taylor swift ended the Cold War and he got so frustrated he just stared into the hallway for ten minutes

[filthyprotozoan]

i saw him in the hallway later and his eyes were like glazed over he was SO TIRED i felt really bad

[superhooman]

There’s no feeling more gross then the anxious feeling then when you send a snapchat to your friend about your crush, and then accidentally send it to your crush…. 😳😨😩😰

[our-hideout-world]

“”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.” 

[haveabiscxitpotter-blog]

“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”

[basillisks-deactivated20170923]

“He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes”

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

“My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters.

[queenarrow]

Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his dick from his trousers. “It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight!” “Oh, I’m so sorry,” hissed Hermione, and Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his dick instead.

[pettyrevenge]

Last Thursday, we experienced a lot of snow and freezing rain. I was driving home cautiously since the road were unplowed and in very bad condition. Naturally, a person zips right behind me and begins to tailgate me. I am not going to speed up and risk killing myself or others, so I maintain a safe speed. The tailgater begins to honk at me, repeatedly, even as we pass multiple people stuck in the snow on the side of the road.

After tailgating and honking incessantly at me for a solid five minutes, he zooms past me and barrels down the road. Not 100 meters ahead, he reaches a sharp turn, loses his traction, and slides straight into a snowbank. He immediately tries to back out of it, but his tires spin uselessly in the snow. He jumps out of his car and flags me down for help (I am driving a truck and I am sure he got a good look at the winch on the back of it while tailgating me).

I stop my truck and he makes a visible gesture of relief. I lay on my horn for about 10 seconds, and drive off.

[brave---princess]

Story of my life

When you ask a 3 year old why she ate glue and she replies “Cause I’m a genious”