Lonnie
I donât have much else to do and Iâve seen some mostly friendly discussion on this topic so I wanted to throw my hat into the ring. A welcome distraction from less interesting fandom debates.
Lonnie Byers. Dead beat, absent father of Jonathan and Will. It seems from the very getgo, Lonnie and Joyceâs relationship was on the rocks and yet somehow he got her pregnant. Twice.
In some waysâŠ. Lonnie is very representative of my own family situation. Constant arguing, kids being put in the middle of the conflict. Mom raises the two kids all on her own (in my case, we had government assistance). I donât have a volatile relationship with my dad like Will and Jonathan though. Heâs never laid a hand on me, he was just⊠EXTREMELY absent and I have accepted that many times in his life, Iâm sure he wished my brother and I didnât exist. (people do change though, my brother and I kinda chose to keep our dad in our lives and itâs generally worked out and much better now that weâre grown so my parents donât have to talk to one another)
But, I can tell. Lonnie is NOT like my father. Lonnie appears to have more issues than just being absent and a toxic relationship with his babies mama.
It seems to me, Lonnie is irresponsible with his money and constantly put his familyâs financial health at risk. It seems like he has/had a drinking problem or possibly something more (drugs). But one of the most OBVIOUS things to me is, I think Lonnie was physically abuse to go along with the emotional kind.
There is no picture perfect definition of abuse. It manifests in various ways. Do I think Lonnie beat his family until they were black and blue with constant blood and scars? No, that pretty obviously isnât the case.
Lonnieâs physical abuse seems to manifest as:
Pushing his family around
âWrestlingâ which is actually just pinning them forcefully and pretend to be playing around
Corporal punishment. I was going to say this is a given, it was the 80âČs. Even I got âwhoopinsâ. But I know thatâs probably not as common as I used to think
Physically imposing/threatening. Even if he doesnât touch them, Lonnie was/is bigger than all of them. (Even with Willâs growth spurt, if heâs only the same height as Jonathan, Lonnie is still bigger and stronger)
Obviously, none of these are the intense stories you hear about abusive dead beat dads. You could almost say it was tame. Some would say none of these classify as physical abuse, but I think it does.
You can see it in the show.
Lonnieâs first appearance in the show is shoving Jonathan hard against the wall and then complementing his ability to finally push him off. Which means in the past, he has probably pinned Jonathan to the wall or the floor or whatever before many many times and Jonathan wasnât strong enough to push him off. Note, Jonathan was 9 years old when Lonnie left and Will was 5.
When Joyce and Lonnie are arguing in the house, he technically doesnât put a hand on her, but it does tower over her quite a lot. Maybe in the past that wouldâve gotten to her (my mom is even shorter than Winona and she comments a lot about how much she hates how some taller people use their height to get at her. I honestly donât think most people do it on purpose though. Lol)
Joyce uses a hammer to force Lonnie out of the house. When Hopper later comes to tell her sheâs right, sheâs literally prepared to use it to attack. I donât know about you but we know Joyce and itâs not really her style to threaten non-threatening people with weapons. No matter how much she and Hopper argued in season 3, she didnât pick up a knife to make him do what she wanted.
And then, weâve got Will. Sadly, we never saw the two interact on screen (love me some family drama and trauma!). Will is the most timid kid you ever did see. I explained my family situation to you guys early for this very purpose, Will is trying to do what me and my brother did.
When I was younger, I was terrified of rejection from my dad. I did whatever he wanted to do to âhave funâ. I watched what he watched. Went where he went. Never raised a major complaint to his face always afraid heâd disappear again or say aloud he didnât want me. People pleaser to a fault.Â
That is Will, but worse. He probably took on these traits not only because heâs afraid of rejection from his father (which has happened his entire life), but also doing or saying the wrong thing resulted in backlash from said father. Was it physical? I donât know, I do get the feeling Will did not get nearly as physical as Jonathan and Joyce though.
Now that Iâve said all this, does this make Joyce weak? Does it make her a bad mother?
No! I donât think so. Even if Lonnie sometimes physically abused her, it doesnât mean she sat there and took it. Joyce is a small tiger. Despite her size, she will fight for herself and her kids and Iâm 100% sure she did, which is why Lonnie âleftâ. (I have a headcanon that Joyce gave him an ultimatum and his punk ass couldnât take it so he left thinking Joyce would come crawling back to him. Which maybe she did once or twice because she was desperate for financial stability)
Joyce needed Lonnie at some point for financial stability. Thatâs the only reason she kept him around at some point. When she didnât need that anymore, she was done with him and the constant battles. Toxic relationship for sure for sure.
When people say Lonnie was a physical abuser, it isnât to make the Byers seem weak willed or even to say they have to be protected. Itâs an explanation as to why they are the way they are (Joyce and Jonathan are fighters, Will is a bit more timid). It doesnât mean they laid down and took the abuse. It doesnât mean we need to handle them like fragile sculptures.
It means the Byers are tough. If Lonnie is reintroduced, it would certainly be an antagonist force, but he would be met with suspicion and antagonism. Lonnieâs only route back into their lifeâŠ. is people pleaser Will.
This is why I kinda want Lonnie back. Joyce and Jonathan are already firmly in the âscrew you, Iâll fite youâ camp, I want Will to be there to. The writers just need to give him the opportunityâŠ.
