My life on the borderline.

Cluster B things

[surly-mermaid]

Idk man....

For real idk…… I am trying to post every day but sometimes I just don’t know. I don’t know what to say or think or do……

[surly-mermaid]

2025.....wow

Last year was a shit show. I think we all feel that. December was the worst. One of my best friends took his own life.

[surly-mermaid]

It's Tuesday

I am so tired of applying for a job. I have applied and sent out countless resumes. Looking for a job is a fucking job. It’s maddening and frustrating. Not having a job is terribly affecting me. I feel under-qualified, useless, and beaten down. My brain just can’t stop with all this. I don’t have insurance and take meds daily. I can’t afford the medication and can’t just stop taking it cold…

[surly-mermaid]

Septoplasty Surgery

This past Wednesday I had a septoplasty. I have been waiting for this for YEARS! I can’t wait to be able to breathe. My face hurts, and my nose is bleeding today, but I don’t care. I have the gauze taped to my face today. The stints in my nose are the most annoying. My nostrils look flared and the stints feel like they are almost in my brain. I am supposed to have them out next week and I will…

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I stopped...

I stopped doing everything I loved: writing, art, learning, nature, etc. Depression has destroyed me. I am not the person I used to be. I am on a journey of healing and finding myself. Finally….

[surly-mermaid]

Right now.

I’m so tired I can’t sleep.

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I don't even know....

You know something weird and random happens and everything changes?

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[surly-mermaid]

Hmm......

Why do I continue to let others control my life?

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[surly-mermaid]

You know.....

There is something about life. How amazing and terrible it can be at the same. Friday I had a particularly terrible day and all the support I didn’t think I had just surrounded me. It was amazing.

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[surly-mermaid]

Morning.....

Is it good? If so tell me why. What made your morning good?

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Untitled

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[surly-mermaid]

Well.....

Titles are not my strengths, but it will be ok. I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like everything everywhere all at once. See that movie if you haven’t. Anyway, I reconnected with my ex, ex, husband and it’s been amazing. He’s 9ne of the most amazing people I have ever met. When I saw him again I knew I never stopped loving him. It all came back to me in an instant. It was incredible. But,…

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[surly-mermaid]

Idk....

Idk….

You know when you think you know where to go for support and it’s all bullshit……..

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Dearly Departed .....

Dearly Departed …..

Thank you for being here. You ever realize you are having a series of small breakdowns because if you had one big one you wouldn’t live through it?

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Idk

I hate myself and wish I were dead

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I am ready....

I am ready….

My kid hates me My kid doesn’t want to be with me My kid can’t stand me Why does my kid hate me

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[surly-mermaid]

I am ready....

I am ready….

I am ready to die. My oldest is 18, my youngest is 16 and hates me. #mylifeontheborderline

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