do i deserve to be happy?

affiliated kanae/karren von rosewald.

[susserose]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu nods, now suddenly frowning. It looked more akin to a pout, given how childish her expressions often appeared.

“I wanted to make some of both, but… they just won’t stay together.”

“It’s like, they just keep telling me ‘no’.”

The flowers were not doing that; rather, it was Hairu’s own impatience that caused her attempts to fail. Yet, she hadn’t realized this, especially given how it was easier to blame the flowers in her lap.

“Do you like to make them, too?” Hairu looks back up at Kanae, curious; he had noticed what she was trying to make, so perhaps he was good at this. That is, perhaps he was better than she was.

          the pout is almost... cute. kanae shakes his head in amusement as he looks at those attempts of hers. of course they weren’t going to stay together like that, but he resists the urge to say something snotty and instead sits down.

          “ i do rather enjoy making them. ” he says with a smile, as he plucks a few flowers from the space beside him and begins weaving them together, slowly enough that she can watch the process if she chooses, white and violet blossoms forming a crown easily. it has been some time, but the process is a familiar one.

          once this first crown is complete, he hands it to her. “ here. these colors will compliment your striking hair colour rather nicely. ”

[susserose]

bubonem‌:

Eto notices how Karren flinches, how she stutters and stumbles. By the time the ghoul actually kneels, Eto lets out a chuckle. How hilarious, she thinks.

“It’s only natural,” she states, not elaborating on what exactly she was referring to; whether it was the response given from Karren or the mention of confusion, Eto would let her decide.

She leans forward, not having to do so very much in order to close the gap between them. Her voice was low as she continued, so that only the ghoul could hear what she said.

“And here I’ve found you lost and alone again. Some would call that fate, you know.”

Her whisper was coupled with a snicker, her words meant as not a compliment, but to incite further fear.

          karren hears the chuckle but doesn’t react to it. it’s better, if she doesn’t respond one way or the other, if she doesn’t let it affect her visibly. she simply doesn’t know what to do here, and she’s letting enough other things affect her. truly, this is not what she had expected. death was supposed to be an end to this... wasn’t it?

          evidently not. karren pulls herself back to her feet just in time to hear eto’s whisper. she tries to suppress her shudder, but cannot quite manage it. perhaps this is what she deserves, a pitiful servant like herself.

          “ fate. perhaps, ” she allows, despite herself. it’s easier to just agree. she raises her eyes at last to meet eto’s. the fear is evident on her features. it’s likely what eto wishes to see, anyway. karren is, if nothing else, desperate to give people what they want. it usually makes them like her more. giving eto what she wants has never made eto like her more, but not doing what eto wants had always hurt and hurt...

          “ is there anything you would like from me? ”

[susserose]

leftaremybcnes‌:

While it would be a strange subject to spill out, Bones honestly couldn’t help himself from speaking out loud. “Yea.” raising a brow their way and knowing well the stranger wasn’t from a world that deals with space travel. “I damn well am, just someone who’s been livin’ inside a space ship for five years ‘n havin’ a bit of a hard time adjustin’ t’this reality at th’moment. Look, sorry fer th’whole mess kinda needed t’talk with someone.” 

          he nods. he’s never been a fantastic confidante, better at doing than saying, but it’s clear that this man just wants to chat, and kanae can’t deny he’s interested. space is a fascinating topic. “ is it difficult, being here? ” he asks, tilting his head. “ this city isn’t too unlike my own home but it’s always hard to be far from what you grow to be familiar with... ”

[susserose]

quickbow‌:

❝Move, move!❞ Scrambling away from the Lake of the Koi’s shore, Sera yelled out in case anyone was unfortunate enough to be in her running direction. She couldn’t tell how many people—if any—were in the vicinity thanks to the thick fog that covered the area, but she wasn’t keen on stopping until she was safe from her pursuer.

She dared to look over her shoulder for the monster, only to have her body collide with something solid ahead. With a forced exhale, she scrambled to stay balanced and let her wide eyes land on the person she’d tumbled into.

❝Tits—I said move! I’m not being demon-chow!❞ she cursed and pushed at the stranger before sparing a quick glance behind and spotting her humanoid attacker growing closer.

@susserose​

          kanae’s eyes widened as he heard the shout--this wasn’t what he was expecting, per se, when he sought a walk along the lake’s shore. he had hoped for a peaceful exercise, but that didn’t seem to be in the cards for the day. really, this place needed to stop being so very frightening. 

          he lets out a startled sound as he’s collided with--hard enough that he cries out but he reached out a hand instinctively to grip her arm and steady her but quickly withdrew it as she regained her balance, stepping out of her way as she pushed him.

          “ was ist das? ” he cried, then shook his head. it didn’t really matter, when the creature was currently barreling toward them. this was deeply unjust--he had been looking for flowers along the shoreline, pretty lilies and others. he hadn’t planned on being attacked, but he wasn’t totally helpless. better to run than fight, though, unless he had his back to the wall. “ this way! quickly now, this way! ”

[susserose]

regemverum‌:

Ardyn puts his hands behind his back and nods behind him. “I most certainly can, follow me this way,” it’s a polite tone, but that can easily be blamed on the royalty at his core. Really, he’s considering the trouble he can get into later after his good deed of the night.

“Are you new here?” he asks as he leads the other, younger man away. “You seem like you are.”

          kanae follows. it isn’t as though he has any other option, really, and he’s confident enough in himself not to be afraid of strangers in the dark. besides, the polite tone the man is speaking with does wonders to put him at ease.

          “ yes, ” he answers, sounding a little annoyed at that fact. it’s nothing that can be helped, however, so... “ i am very new. is it really that obvious? ”

[susserose]

crestcrimson‌:

Edelgard is pleased that this man seems very willing to help her. She would have been lost without someone, and this is making everything easier. “I come from the Adrestian Empire,” she says, then looks up at the man with a certain seriousness. “I was taken here against my will. It worries me, thinking of home when I cannot be there to lead.”

She squares her shoulders a little, determined. This will not set her back. She did not ascend to ruler of the Empire by letting misfortunes bring her confidence down. Now, though, she has a task: learn the phone. “Yes, please show me how to use the… ‘app’.”

          kanae frowns ever so slightly. ‘empire,’ ‘lead,’ these words paint an interesting picture in conjunction with the crown on her head. kanae follows the thought to its logical conclusion but doesn’t dare ask. if he’s speaking so informally with someone of any significant standing, he’s committed a rather serious faux pas.

          he’ll ask later. for now, the phone. he wants to help, and that is, ultimately, more important. he taps her phone to pull up the app. it’s still a little strange to him, the currency of this place, but at least he understands digital currency as a concept, so he’s ahead of her there. “there, see? it shows how much dust you have. that’s... what they call the currency here. when you first arrive you have very little. i’d say just enough to cover basic human needs.”

[susserose]

regemverum‌:

Ardyn’s smile doesn’t go away. He saunters over to the man, humming a little under his breath as he puts his hat back upon his head. 

“This is not the area to get lost in, I’m afraid,” he chides, but gently. “Lucky you, that you have me as your guide.”

Kanae smiles ever so slightly. It’s a subtle expression, but there’s a sharpness to it if one cares to look. It isn’t as though he has anything planned, but there’s something so intriguing about this man’s scent. Human, but not. Hopefully edible. He’d have to try a bite... but later. He doesn’t have his mask, and would never risk implicating Master Shuu.

“Lucky indeed. Might you show me out of this shady area?”

[susserose]

ccgsking‌:

@susserose​ // x

The museums are quite fascinating, he has to admit. There’s a lot of free time on his hands – something he is most definitely not attuned to having – and as such he figures perusing different exhibits will do well to ease his boredom. He’s left his weapon at home, having figured that even if he were to face a ghoul a wooden sword would do nothing to help him.

Pondering this fact he wonders how and when he will get his quinque again, and he doesn’t notice as another man stands next to him close enough to touch. Arima turns and takes in the sight; he’s of slightly below average height, average build, and he has quite the sense of fashion. Arima takes all this information, processes it, and immediately goes on to think of other things. That is, until he notes the look of concentration on the other’s face.

“Are you familiar with this work?” Arima asks, polite. He’s not at all knowledgeable about Spirale art or history. Perhaps he can be enlightened. “You seem impressed.”

Kanae is leaning forward to get a better look at the artwork, and he doesn’t notice (or doesn’t care) that he’s invaded someone else’s space to get that look. If he cared, he would have stepped away, surely. Kanae doesn’t even seem to realise he’s being scrutinized. There’s just too much to see, art and beauty and life, all of that. Kanae enjoys museums, because of all the have to offer.

But no, he doesn’t know a thing about this artwork aside from what’s written on the plaque beside it. A painter’s name, the materials used, birth and deathdates... and that’s it. His eyes flick from the plaque, to the work, to the man beside him.

He shakes his head. “I’m not familiar, no, but it’s a beautiful piece, wouldn’t you agree?”

He reaches out, though not nearly close enough to touch, lest he irritate the security guard posted against the wall. “Look at the brushstrokes. The painter went up where you might have expected her to go down. Can you see it?”

[susserose]

gourmetsucre‌:

Shuu doesn’t notice Kanae, non – Karren, at first. He’s lost in thought, about something so wonderfully distant and untroubling, something so wildly trivial that he can’t even recall it seconds later. There’s a smile on his lips, and that smile is all because of how at peace he feels.

There’s nothing stopping him from folding his arms and leaning against the trunk of the tree, his eyes closing and his mind replaying events that happened during his day so far. He’s yet to secure a meal – strangely enough, most of the places he’s gone to do not serve human on the menu. Not really surprising, though he does feel that if other species can have their choice in delicacies, Shuu should be able to as well. The injustice of it all!

He senses her before he opens his eyes. The calm that he’d been feeling suddenly leaves him – like oxygen leaving a room. In its stead is confusion, regret, sorrow – memories of Tsukiyama servants murdered by the CCG: Shuu doesn’t want to open his eyes, doesn’t want to see her, because when he does…

He opens them, and he sees his feelings mirrored in her face. He does the only thing he can and reaches out, grabs Karren and pulls her close to his chest. “Sweet rose,” he says, and he feels that desperation deep inside. “How…?”

Karren collapses against him like a house of--a house of cards, perhaps. A house of teeth. No, no, that’s all wrong. Why can’t she remember the way the metaphors used to fit perfectly on her tongue, like a scrap of flesh? She is changed. Her experiences have changed her. Eto has changed her. She does not wish to think too hard about this.

So she collapses against him, like whatever she is. A wilting rose. She does have the self-restraint not to cry, but only barely. Only for the moment, though she knows the tears will spill over sooner or later.

“I don’t know,” she says, wrapping her arms around his middle and letting out a sound that threatened to become a sob as she buried her face in his chest, frightened in a way she hadn’t been since her brothers died. No, not even when she was tortured. Not even when she hit the ground hard, her body breaking. “I’m frightened, Master Shuu... are we dead or alive?”

She speaks as if her entire world hinges on his answer. She knows she fell to her death, recalls the impact with perfect clarity. She knows she saved him, though, and so... what is this, anyway?

[susserose]

soviireign‌:

            With all the glamour and sparkle in Pearl Street, this homey looking cafe was what caught Siete’s attention. He came in with plans to sample some of their baked goods, looking for some inspiration in his own cooking. But now? What greeted him upon his entry was a rich aroma that spoke much of passion in their craft. He wasn’t exactly a coffee guy, but he could enjoy a good cup when can get one. And this smelled like something he would love to have with a good muffin.

            There’s tons of choices though, and as tantalizing as they were not everything would fit in his budget. He sighed, eyebrows furrowed as he debated on what exactly to order. Man, maybe he should start job hunting soon…

@susserose​ / starter call!

Kanae had been waiting patiently in line behind the man in front of front of him before he realised... oh. The poor fellow seemed to have no idea what to order, or at least he was taking his sweet time deciding. Kanae couldn’t really sympathise, as black coffee was the only thing on the menu he could consume--normally his choices were limited simply to ‘iced’ or ‘hot’ with little variation.

“I’ve heard the lattes here are absolutely spectacular,” he says to the man, a little off-handedly. He can’t confirm it, as milk is certainly not something he can have, but he’s certainly seen people enjoying them. “If... I’m sorry, you simply seem to be having trouble picking something out? They’re fairly inexpensive as well, if that was the concern...?”

[susserose]

fleurteller‌:

✧.  @susserose​  ( sc )

          “My favorite flowers are sylleblossoms. Have you heard of them, by chance? I have been looking for signs of them but have found no such luck yet.”

“Sylleblossoms... nein, I have never heard of them. Can you describe them?”

[susserose]

crestcrimson‌:

Edelgard is listening very intently to the other’s words, even though it seems so foreign and strange to her. This whole world is so confusing, but that didn’t mean she was going to stop trying. She only just got here, and there were many questions still left unanswered. Onwards and upwards, as they say.

“All right,” she allows, her eyes on the phone. “They gave me this with very little instruction, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Where I come from, theses things don’t exist.” Thinking of home made her feel a little sad, but that was to be expected.

She motioned back to the cell, her head tilting a little to the side. “Does it do anything else besides call people? I heard that all the currency is on it as well… correct me if I’m wrong.”

“Where do you come from?” Kanae asks, tilting his head curiously. Someplace where people don’t have phones? Pair that with her strange outfit and he really has no idea. If she told him she was a queen from a fairytale he might just believe her. “I can help you get your bearings here, if you’d like.”

The offer is a little sudden, but he’s... more at peace here than he’s been in some time, and so it’s easy to make. It’s not as though she looks likely to ask for help with anything too complex.

“Yes, money is stored on the phone as well. You can pay with an app... actually, let me demonstrate that for you. It will be easier to show than explain.”

[susserose]

crestcrimson‌:

Edelgard has always been a quick learner. It’s one of her better traits; her adaptability, her tactical mind, her ambition – it all culminates in the necessity to learn quickly. But this thing, this ‘phone’… it confounds her.

Still, she will not give up. Her brows are furrowed as she looks at the way the man is holding it, and the way he explains what a phone call is. Once he pauses, she looks at him with a look of determination. “A call,” she repeats, a frown tugging at her lips. “I’m guessing that means a signal of some sort to tell them to come to my location? Am I understanding that correctly?” She thinks for a moment, then nods. “Or is it as if I’m having a conversation with someone standing near me?”

Honestly, it seems a bit silly. She could always pay a house call if she needed anyone, but she’ll learn to use this tool regardless.

She still looks puzzled, and Kanae can’t help but note how adorable that look on her face is. He gives her another of his more genuine smiles, and pushes onward. The poor thing really has no idea what she’s doing with something as simple as a phone...

“Ah... the second one. It’s just like a conversation, almost as if they are standing beside you, but you’ll hear their voice through the speaker there. Like they’re talking through it from far away--the device will carry their voice to you.” He wishes he knew more about the why of it, but he hasn’t the foggiest idea why the phone works, he only knows that it does.

“It’s a useful tool. And it saves time. You might call someone and tell them to come over if you need to see them, or you might simply use it to ask an urgent question that cannot wait for you to find them in person...”

[susserose]

mindfond‌:

@susserose​

    Fibonacci Ward was full of interesting discoveries– The science exhibits and museums being one of them. One of those museums the girl found herself drawn towards focused on astronomy. She was no expert on the field, but she did find space and its parts intriguing. She stared at an one particular spot, in particular. There was a display of the planets, including their compositions and other information. Sara inched towards it, placing her hand atop Earth. 

    “This makes it look so small.. In reality, there’s billions of people on this planet,” she mused aloud. She noticed someone else inside the vicinity, of which she removed her hand off the planet and took a few steps back. “I was standing here too long. Did you want a closer look?” It really was interesting, though. The room set a certain atmosphere, too. It was dimly lit (aside from the signs) and there was very soft music playing in the background. Perhaps.. She should learn more.

Kanae was more drawn to the arts than the sciences, but this museum was interesting. It wasn’t that he disliked science, but he certainly knew it was a weak point in his educational background. Though perhaps that was why he was here, to fill in that particular gap. He looked at the planets with clear curiosity. He knew, of course he knew, the basics of the solar system, but seeing it all in perspective like this? Well...

“Small, yes,” he said quietly. He knew she wasn’t talking to him, but he couldn’t help but respond. “It does look small. Breakable.” Though that also described people, humans more than his own kind, but all people ultimately. It was a sad thought, though he didn’t know if she meant it that way. Probably not.

“Yes, please, let me see. I...” he cut himself off. What? Was poorly educated due to not wanting to draw attention to the family that had kindly took him in? Shamefully ungrateful. His lack of formal education was fine, as he was only a servant. “I have always been curious about... science.”

[susserose]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu sat among a small patch of flowers, her legs criss-cross and her frame leaning over itself. She was clearly absorbed in some task or another, as she did not notice the approach of someone else until she hear a voice. She did not flinch or jump, but merely looked up at the person standing near her. 

Hairu did not recognize him, but did not think too hard about it– this city was full of strangers, after all.

“Frightening…?” She cocked her head to the side, leaning her body back to better face the stranger; in doing so, the task she had been so involved with was revealed to be failed attempts at making crown’s out of the cliff’s budding flowers.

“I didn’t think about it like that… I think it’s pretty.”

Kanae finally glanced down at the woman, curious about what she was doing even as he pretended not to be. He was glad she didn’t seem surprised at his sudden words--likely she heard him approach, it wasn’t like he was being particularly sneaky. His footsteps had been somewhat lighter than perhaps necessary, but far from silent.

He smiled ever so slightly at her, the gesture just enough to be polite, if a little wary. The sight of the flower crowns caught his eye, though, and gave him pause. Oh, that was... adorable. He used to do something similar, back when he was a child, with his mother...

“It is pretty,” he agrees. He can’t deny that. Though it’s the sheer cliff face that really has him on edge. The thought of a fall makes him nervous, but he cannot overcome fear by avoiding it, and at least there are flowers here. Speaking of...

“Are you attempting to make a flower crown, or necklaces there?” he asked, eyeing the failed attempts. There is a trick to it, but mostly it just required a careful motions.

[susserose]

bubonem‌:

That familiar scent, that familiar face– perhaps the hybrid simply couldn’t help herself from approaching. Her face bare, Eto supposed that her typical mask and cloak did not matter when this individual had already seen her face in the past. Did anything matter at all on this island? Eto still was unsure, but, was still enthused by this opportunity to stave off any potential boredom.

“Me?” Eto laughs.

“How rude of you– why don’t you address me properly?”

Your god, Eto, Owl– it didn’t matter what moniker the ghoul ought to hypothetically have chosen. Eto simply wanted to unsettle the person standing before her, simply because she found it amusing.

“You must have just arrived here, haven’t you? You must be awfully confused, and weak, too. Is it nostalgic?”

Karren recoils a little. Of course she’s confused, of course she’s lost and afraid and of course it’s nostalgic. A shiver runs up her spine, down her hands, which begin to tremble. She licks at her lower lip, where once threads ran through her skin, keeping it shut, but only until she was given freedom to speak again.

She’s flattered, that she is  r e m e m b e r e d . She shouldn’t be, but she is. 

“E-entschuldigung,” she stammers, her words failing her, her apologies faltering. She wonders if she should kneel. She’d kneel before Master Mirumo, or Master Shuu, but this is... a different sort of situation. Is the respect different, because it was earned through fear? She doesn’t know, and so she kneels, head bowed like praying or grief. “Forgive me.”

“Yes, I have only just arrived... I am incredibly confused...”

[susserose]

crestcrimson‌:

Edelgard notes the wary tone in the man’s voice. He’s the first person she’s even seen that doesn’t appear to be wrapped up in something else, and this has become quite the pressing matter. Holding out the phone in her hands, cradled like something delicate, she looks at him with an expression of determination.

“This,” she raises the phone, just a little. It’s cupped in her hand and it’s clear she doesn’t know how to use it. The heavy thing feels so out of place with everything else that she’s wearing, so much so that it causes her to frown.  

“I’m afraid I don’t know what this is, it was given to me upon arrival. It makes strange sounds and I was wondering if you knew any more about it than I do.”

He stares down at the phone. She’s being very careful with it, which he would find endearing if not for how unnecessary it is. A small smile forms on his lips, one he usually reserves just for someone like Matsumae, and he nods. “Of course I know. It’s fairly easy to use, you know.”

He doesn’t know why she seems so lost over a simple concept... but her outfit looks so old-fashioned. Storybook, maybe. He’s not sure what word to use here, but that’s close enough.

Kanae plucks the phone from her hand and demonstrates how to open it. Oh, he’d have to show her how to lock it as well, a shame these things don’t make you have a passcode by default but... one thing at a time. “Its simplest use is for making calls. You simply open this app here, see? And tap the name you wish to call. I’ve noticed the phonebook is rather extensive... hundreds of names, perhaps. But they’re more or less alphabetical so it isn’t too hard to find who you need. Once you call, if they choose to answer, you can speak to them as if you’re there beside them.”