Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill

34. Owner of Swaggerhill Shipbuilding Industry/Fish Merchant at Swaggerhill Fishery #newengland #massachusettsbaycolony #swaggerhill

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In Need of a Wife! Help?

Blog: February 14

  Dear readers, I have to admit something that I have been keeping inside my heart because of pride and dignity. 55 is the age that is terrible to not have a wife or children. Every day going downtown I see married women with 5 or 6 children around them and I think, their father is probably proud of having so many kids. I just a handsome, rich, and good-looking man walking so lonely with no women besides me is definitely a struggle. I see my friends having their wife around them and their 6 children playing and hunting makes me so sad that I don’t have a family of my own. Some friends have put me blind date’s with others but in the end, all they want is my money not for my looks. I just don’t understand, don’t women love me? With praying to God and believing him, I have hope that my wife is out in the world somewhere. If you know someone that is available please comment. PLEASE!

                - X. O. X. O. Meriweather

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   Meriwether Quaker’s Wife 

Midwife to Wife? What a life! -Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill

    Greetings Meriwether Quaker! Don’t be feared for Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill is here. If you are looking for a wife, I can certainly help you with that. Camilla Vilaroux, only 20 years young, would make a lovely wife. She is from a middle class family who lives at the Vilaroux Estate, near Bofton Port. She is a delightful girl and a wonderful midwife to my children: Joanna, Madeline, Joseph Griffin, and Theodore Mattie. I believe a midwife and a wife is an advantage- two in one if you know what I mean. She is diligent and caring. You two would make beautiful children because you are also handsome dear sir.

     I’ve already informed her father and mother, Johannes Kingsley and Vivian Vilaroux of your interest in looking for a wife. I would be happy to send her on one of my luxurious Swaggerhill vessels. I look forward to seeing your future six children (perhaps more…) and your family blossom. I would also love to come along to visit your humble abode in New York and make an investment with your magnificent Quaker Oats business.

Ps. My children are very fond of Quaker Oats oatmeal very much!

Swaggerhill Shipbuilding Industry & Swaggerhill Fishery + Quaker Oats

                                          Sincerely,

                                         Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill

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The Triangle Trade

Life will be a thrill when your needs are filled, if you want the skilled choose the Swaggerhill. ~Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill

     The Swaggerhill Shipbuilding Industry has been booming lately. We have created durable vessels out of sturdy and impeccable lumber. The ships have hulls made from Oak timber. The spars and masts are produced from tall pines. Each vessel has the finest woven sails that can withstand the storms at sea. Swaggerhill Ships will be used in the Triangle Trade. This is truly monumental for the family business. Molasses from the Caribbean is brought over to into New England and turned into rum. The exquisite rum is brought over into Africa and traded for slaves. New England is tremendously continuing to thrive. 

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The Swaggerhill Children

     Thank the Lord! My family has been blessed with two healthy and handsome baby boys. The only problem is that they are identical. No wonder why Hildegard complained that her belly was heavier than her other pregnancies, she was carrying two babies at once. I’ve noticed that her complexion was often pale as well, which was a sign that she was carrying a boy. When she had Joanna and Madeline, there was an iridescent and rosy glow to her cheeks. Hildegard is a strong and beautiful woman, but she is also a wonderful mother to my children.

     With the help of our trusted midwife, Camilla Vilaroux. I now have two sons: Joseph Griffin and Theodore Mattie Swaggerhill. I’ve never been so happy in my life. My two sons will inherit the Swaggerhill Shipbuilding Industry and the Swaggerhill Fishery when they are of age. I love my Swaggerhill boys already!           

Ps. If you need a midwife feel free to reach out to Camilla at the Vilaroux Estate.

      As for Joanna and Madeline, they are now in elementary school. My girls will grow up to be beautiful, wealthy, intelligent, and graceful. I am so proud of my girls.

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The Boston Church

     Only God will determine our salvation; we should make time to worship him. My family and I attend church every Sunday. I always make sure Madeline and Joanna are always paying attention to the preacher. No child of mine will doze off in church. At the end of the sermon, a group of adulterers were sent to the front and punished with several whippings. They deserve it, no Puritan is a sinner. 

     This should set as a reminder for all of the children in our church. If you commit a sin against God, you will be punished. These children will never become notorious criminals. These children will become the successful leaders of our colony one day.  

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Town Meeting   

     Today, the powerful Puritans of Massachusetts Bay Colony (Including the Swaggerhill men) gathered together at a town meeting. Sir Frederick Willhimen, the owner of the Willhimen Whaling Industry, proposed a law that allows indentured servants to marry only if their master gives them permission to. Almost the entire room voted for this law. I certainly did not agree to the nonsense of these addlepates.

     Shame on you Frederick! I cannot even imagine letting my most diligent servant, Bentley, to be married off to a dandy prat of a woman. What will happen to the Swaggerhill businesses if I allow my precious indentured servants to marry? They will become too distracted to work. They will bring their useless wives onto my property and have children as well? In the name of Swaggerhill, I will not allow it.

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Witch Finder Generall

     Yesterday, I visited Salem to fetch high quality lumber and fishnets for my ships. I walked about town and heard a young girl screaming at the town square. She was lynched at the age of 10. Her name was Charlotte, from the Poppyfield family. Thank heavens they passed out copies of Matthew Hopkins’ Witch Finder Generall, I found it to be helpful in find in identifying witches. Matthew Hopkins is the savior of this colony. 

     As a Puritan, it appalls me that those evil witches spurn God. Good gracious! What appalls me even more is that I just said ‘god’ and ‘witches’ in the same sentence. Dear God, forgive me. Witches have dark magic that will harm us all; therefore, they should be killed. Every fortnight in Salem, 20 witches were killed. It is truly wonderful and a great relief to know that our colony is protecting its citizens from cruel witches.

R.I.H

Rot in Hell Witches!

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The Swaggerhill Ship

     My father and I have been planning to build this ship ever since I was a young lad. I have finally created the perfect vessel that will lead my fishing business to prosperity. The demand for fresh cod has been rapidly rising and I have been planning to expand the Swaggerhill Fishery. If you are in need of a vessel, do visit the Swaggerhill Shipbuilding Industry at the Bofton Port.

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Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill

     Greetings! I am happy to announce that I am now a Tumblrian. My name is Matthew Herschel Swaggerhill, 34 years of age. I am the owner of the Swaggerhill Shipbuilding Industry located at the Bofton Port. I come from an honorable line of shipbuilders. I inherited my prosperous family business from my father, William Herschel Swaggerhill. I also work as a fish merchant at Swaggerhill Fishery, traveling from Connecticut, Rhode Island, to New Hampshire. I am grateful for my indentured servants who help me catch fresh cod at the bay.

     My lovely wife Hildegard is a wonderful mother to my two children, Joanna(8) and Madeline(2), and another one on the way. We are a family of devoted Puritans, God is important to our lives. I come from a wealthy family. We live at the grand and luxurious Swaggerhill Estate, our home is certainly full of swagger. My uncle Claude and my cousin Hunter are a great help in running the family business. My dear mother and father had unfortunately passed away a few months ago, but I know they will be proud of the great man that I’ve become.