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(201030) gq_korea’s Instagram update with Shownu
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[INTERVIEW] Wonho’s Exclusive Interview with Dispatch
[Dispatch = Reporter Kim Soo-ji]
“In fact, I wasn’t at peace.”
I asked why.
“I know my fault...”
Wonho took out his past.
”Any words would only be excuses. I was wrong.“
He continued.
”So I did my best. So that I would never live like that again.“
Then he talked about his love for the fans.
“I have receive something that’s called love. So at least, I don’t want to disappoint them.”
Dispatch interviewed Wonho, who was active as Monsta X, in February, when the investigation of marijuana accusation was in action.
“Yes, I admit my past. I was childish. I am trying to not live like that. I only think about the other members, the group, our fans.”
And added. It was all a misunderstanding.
“I didn’t do marijuana. The police is currently investigating it. When my innocence is proven, please write my story.”
”I want to apologize and I want to clear the misunderstandings. And I want to earn apology.“ Then he told the story of his childhood.
◆ "Those days, I was unhappy”
A rental apartment in Sanbon-dong, Gunpo-si, Gyeonggi-do. A (small) living room and one room were all. There, he lived with his grandmother, father, mother and younger brother.
“Until I was 20, we lived in a small rented apartment. My grandma had the room so my father, my mother, me and my brother had to sleep in the living room together. I didn’t know it was poverty, back then.”
Then when he entered elementary school, he couldn’t get along with his friends. And he was bullied. He was made miserable, repeatedly. Wonho was a timid child with a lot of fears.
“One day they bullied me because I was dirty, the other day because I was boring. My friends hated me. To be honest this is a memory I don’t want to recall.
"In other words, I was an outcast. My house was not peaceful, either. Because my parents often fought. So I spent more time outside, everyday. Then I met some unfamiliar hyungs on the neighbourhood, and I followed them around.”
◆ “Being bad was better”
Then after that, no one bullied him. In fact, he felt like he was the one who scared them. And he said he liked how his friends felt uncomfortable with him.
“One day, I bumped with the friend who used to bully me. Unconsciously I flinched. But that friend said 'Hoseok, I’m sorry’ first.
Suddenly I felt good. I shouldn’t though..’ Wonho stopped being an outcast. But he wasn’t happy. And even his personality changed. It was when he was at the high school.
"That day too, my parents were fighting. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I no longer saw hope (in my house). I left the house without any plan.
I didn’t know the price of a family back then.” The outside world was more dangerous. He met with new friends and things went awry. His friends received received punishment for special theft. Wonho was placed on probation.
“I don’t want to blame my friends. Because that was my choice too. I know it sounds like and excuse, but I was childish. It’s my fault. I did wrong. I’m sorry.”
◆ “I have a dream”
Wonho’s teenage was empty. But then when he was at the second grade of high school he met Jung Daeun.
“We got close pretty soon. We became fitting model together. Daeun helped me a lot. She cheered me so I can dream my dream to become a singer.”
Before his 20s, Wonho, no, Hoseok was rough. He blamed the reality and went off the way. But after his 20s, Lee Hoseok, no, Wonho changed. He countered the reality and became better.
“I saw some friends who practiced like crazy. They were dreaming something called ‘dream’. I was ashamed. I lived only by blaming others.. So I promised. That I would not waste my life any longer.”
Then Wonho practiced day and night. He went to the company whenever he could. When he needed to practice alone, he would go to the emergency stairs and practiced there.
“With my fellow trainees I danced and sang over night. It wasn’t hard. Because I got the hope that 'there’s a future for me, too.’ I was happy. And I also really liked living together with them. I learned a lot for 4 years.”
◆ "The past stood in the way”
Then he debut with Monsta X in 2015. He released 12 albums in Korea. America, Europe and Asia. It paid off. At the time, they ranked 39th in the 'Billboard’ Pop songs chart (2019). It was the third time in K-pop history.
And Wonho ran for the future too in 2019. But then his past tripped him. The accusation of debt, theft and even marijuana use in 2013.
“There’s my fault, but there’s a misunderstanding too. Of course it’s something I cant reverse. Being in a similar environment doesn’t mean that I go out of line too. I reflected a lot when I was under probation (for special theft).”
Wonho no longer gives excuses. He admits his past and he was sorry for it. But for the marijuana use, he strongly denied. He never touched any drugs at all.
“I admit the problem with my past. But what’s not is not. I never do marijuana. And I have explained this part clearly to the police.”
And after the investigation for more than 5 months, they released the statement that there’s no proof of him using marijuana. And they also investigated about the other drugs but there’s no proof either.
◆ “I didn’t want to hurt you”
Wonho left his group in October. “I was really doing my best to prepare for the new album. I really hate seeing Monsta X fall (because of me). I thought that dropping out sooner would be the path for the group to live. I wanted to block the damage as best as I could.”
One more, there’s Monbebe in his decision.
“I can talk about this confidently. After I met Monbebe, I changed a lot. I know how it felt to be loved. I want to live my life even better day by day.”
According to him, he only had Monbebe. His daily life was all about composing, working out and communication (with Monbebe). He actually talked with Monbebe for 3-4 hours during the world tour via V Live.
“Actually it’s the first time I ever felt those warmth. So I don’t want to disappoint them. I only want to do the things that the fans like. I want to return the love. But…”
◆ "But I’m sorry”
He recalled his past and wondered what he could do. And the only answer was withdrawal. He thought that that would (at least) lessen the fans’ pain.
“I have promised a lot to my fans. I said I would always be by their side. I’m sorry I could only leave you like this. I live only by looking at you, though..”
Then he explained why he could only do that.
“I lived my past as Lee Hoseok, and now I live as Wonho. Is Wonho responsible for the things Hoseok did? I have to be. At the end, my past hurt you. I want to lessen your pain.”
Wonho didn’t go out of the house for a long time. He was afraid it would give damage to the people around him so he lived holding his breath. And then he was free from the accusation of marijuana. He said it was a relief.
“Even now I can’t forget my fans. Rather, I regret it. I should have treated you better. I just want to say I’m sorry, that’s why I did this interview.”
Translation by @nunudanaa Original article at Dispatch
We need you wonho, comeback to us.
"'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4 (NIV) We love you ta ♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B9gVBp9p6ia9Nkj-RHNe8VFh_orH1qkUPmB41M0/?igshid=714sr4gpekp
200208 1️⃣7️⃣ ♥️ @saythename_17 #odetoyouinmnl (at Moa Arena) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8WiLFEHGnrU2dAo5KspWD2UNo5R6I1-g0EyhM0/?igshid=ywuu01ndy75c
I really need to get things off my chest. The whole Seungwoo situation is really growing into me and just driving me insane. We, Alices, were so heartbroken to let our leader go but we are dedicated to him and would support through anything, and thus we accepted this situation supported both Victon and X1 because all we want is to see our boys succeed doing what they love.
Seungwoo is a dedicated leader and sensible human being, he gives his heart to everything that matters to him, and X1 was really important to him, as hard as it could be for him to hear people talking crap about Victon, he took this an opportunity to shine by himself but mostly for Victon to get the recognition they deserve.
He clearly was attached to all contestants and would have given everything for them to shine, but you cannot hate him for also caring about his Victon members, he went through a lot with them and they've been like brothers for years so of course he'll meet them, hang out with them, openly support them, he's still a part of Victon.
It seriously breaks my heart to see people saying that Seungwoo never cared about X1. If you think that way then you clearly don't know clouts about him because his leading abilities and dedication to his role are the first things you notice. I don't know him personally but it is clear the boy cares about the people he leads and takes this task seriously.
Not to mention how grateful and thankful he is towards all the people supporting him, Alices or One Its. He would always do his very best for us, to make us happy, proud and show a good image. He always put himself second. Come first his members and fans. So much that he would hurt himself, dancing with his injured knee to make us proud.
Can you believe he and Victon have been called flops, only for him and Byungchan to join px101 against their will (they all clearly stated they would never join such program because they wanted to prove their worth as Victon in an interview in 2018), for Seungwoo realising he'll probably won't perform with his Victon bros for a long while and won't be able to address Alices, gaining new fans (*solo*), finally getting recognition, giving his all for his new group and brothers, all this with humility and kindness, only for him to go through hell again because of some shitty management (and I will call name because they deserve to pay for this, Mnet and CJENM rot in hell you shit twins) and be blamed among that?
You said you would support him through thick and thin but I guess that was just a facade.
this is the closest i've been to tears throughout this whole process
2020.1.7 Wooseok’s letter
SF9 - ’Good Guy’ MV TEASER 1
E S G U E R R A ♥️ (at Kalubkob, Cavite, Philippines) https://www.instagram.com/p/B60ijQOnYSSuE56PzFjCrXkPpJv1Tni06MCDvI0/?igshid=sdxsiy01hdr8
191215 It was surreal 😭😍 #SS8InManila (at MOA Arena) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6K1H3PHULhbG6RkhtKR0DB86sON_acY5Gkh3o0/?igshid=2y7fhvynatbg
Forgive Yourself For What Happened…
Forgive yourself for what happened. For the mistakes you made. For not showing up the way up the way you needed to. For not being the person you wanted to be. You’re human. You did the best you could in the moment given what you knew and what you had, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. You’re still learning. You’re still finding your way. And that takes time. You’re allowed to give yourself that time. And you’re allowed to show up in the world imperfectly. You’re allowed to fail at things you tried hard for. You’re allowed to realize you made the wrong decision. You’re allowed to be someone who’s still figuring out their path and their purpose. And you’re allowed to forgive yourself. You can’t go back and change the decisions you’ve made, but you can choose what you do today. You can keep choosing, again and again. You can start over. And that’s where your power is. In today. So no more beating yourself up. No more going over and over it again in your head and torturing yourself with the past. What happened, happened, and all the shame and self-hatred in the world won’t undo that. Today, you’re starting over. Today, you’re moving forward with the new knowledge and experiences you have. Today, you can be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a disappointment or a failure. You’re just human. You’re still learning and growing and finding your way. And it’s okay. You’ll be okay.
191026 Sobrang sulit 😭❤ #got7keepspinninginmnl #got7 #got7inmanila2019 (at MOA Arena) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4JiNeLH6TyGGrwlGMbGelMGTc1r3263i-hGUU0/?igshid=qhzdqk9uk99c