[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

Raising his head to nod his understanding, a small smile grew on Hayden’s lips as he shrugs and lets a short breath out. “I mean I learned early on how words hurt, how useful they could be in raising someone up and how easily they can destroy people. Also my Ma made a point to make sure I was respectful no matter what happened.” He  finds himself warm with the thought of all the great things his mother had helped him learn; helped him grow into the young man he was now and had no chip on his shoulder for past offenses from stupid kids who didn’t know better. It wasn’t any more their fault than it was his.

“That’s been the story of my life honestly. Open spaces and no limits. It why we got a property on the city limits; Ma couldn’t bare not being close to nature.” He grinned as Sam had no idea the elaborate designs of huts and wonderment Hayden had craft over the past twenty years in the forest behind his house; the small kingdom he returns to often to escape the world and be one with nature. That was a secret for another day of course. 

“Surprisingly I don’t actually workout all that often; in terms of like using machines and regimented periods of time.” He chuckles as he flexes the massive muscled frame he toted along, clear that his muscle came from the hard work he did; along with all the untold hours of other handiwork he did in his life. “You can dance to it; though it’s so formal dancing and it’s not really a thing these days.” The classics of the waltz and foxtrot and things of that nature, of which Hayden did know how to do; yet wouldn’t outright admit it. That was a close guarded secret for him to know and people to be blown away from.

“Yeah sure, we can.” Hayden smiled as he begun to stand up; cradling his lazily grumbling pup in his arms as he scratches idly at him. “Don’t worry about the plates; I’ll get them later.” He tells Sam as he pads into the house, heading into the living room that was full of his own custom work; clapping quietly to activate the dimming light from touch. “Not much but all handmade.” The smith says as though it’s not an accomplishment; but he didn’t think this work was all that impressive compared to some of the pieces he’d done. Certainly didn’t beat the dungeon he’d drafted, created and installed for a client; it paled in comparison honestly.

Hayden talked about his mom a lot. A true blue mama's boy. Sam's mom would call that a 'red flag', but she had married a mama's boy. Sam's father had been raised by a single mother. The drama between her father's mother and her mother had been well documented. It only got worse after his death. But Sam would never be like her mother. She'd sooner die. "She sounds like a good ma," Sam murmured, trying not to cock an eyebrow, trying not to be like her mother. Judgmental. Hayden was a teddy bear, and she didn't want to pluck out his plexiglass eyes and tear the threads out of him. She wanted to hug him, hold him, and kiss his skin where it was damaged.

When Sam was little, she'd carry around this blue stuffed bear everywhere she went. One of those that you could write on with special made markers and then wash clean. She called him Blu Bear and drew a universe on his stomach of misshapen giraffes, too tall zebras, and elephants with wrap around trunks all against stars. She had been so careful, but at nine years old, she had left poor Blu Bear at a carnival. Her mother called her reckless, but her father searched every ride she had been on, every cart on the Ferris wheel, every stand full of cotton candy and funnel cakes. Her space age savannah stuffed security blanket was never recovered, but she held dear the memory of manically searching for it, riding upon her pre-sick father's back as he searched low and she searched high.

Sam didn't want to be reckless with Hayden. She'd be careful with the big bear of a man. As they rose to retire into the living room, by the fire he had ignited for her, Sam pulled off her navy Calvin Klein jacket, hanging it on the back of the chair she had been seated in. Her sweater was tan, with a half turtle neck, but it was slightly cropped, showing just a little bit of stomach if she rose up, and clung tightly to her, showing off her perky tits. She figured Hayden had earned a couple overly friendly glances given the lack of moves he had made, and the respectful way he wanted to express himself, sharing himself, sharing maybe too much, more than Sam had. But it still made her surprisingly comfortable.

"Comfy too," Sam admitted as she sat, smiling up at the man who awkwardly stood holding his needy puppy. She wasn't a puppy, but she felt slightly needy now. "Hi," she said, shifting slightly so she was pointed towards the empty cushion of the love seat. She patted at it, biting her lower lip, trying not to seem like she wanted to be close to him, but she really did. Especially with the romantic dim light and the sparkling ambiance of the fireplace. She wanted his body heat, and his warmth, and another chance for their lips to meet, but only if he'd make a move.

[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

“If only right?” He chuckles a little, feeling as though they very well might have been friends had their paths aligned sooner in life; yet now he’d never know and could only hold her at her word. “I wouldn’t call it purity, I can attest that I’m far from pure; but I can admit that there’s very little I’ll judge a person for save for the truly immoralities that are pretty bad if acted upon.” The references to the types of things that cause kneejerk reactions in most people; those sorts of things were involuntary as they generally are disgusting acts, of which should be judged harshly. Whereas all other things matter very little outside being a good person and caring regardless of what has happened. 

“I think at this point, I’m fairly invested in getting to know you. It’s not often these blind date things turn out as a decent match.” Hayden mused as they were fairly lucky to have experiences and thing in common; even if they were morbid in some ways, there was a link they had. Beyond that though Hayden was sure no matter how things panned out, that Sam would become a mainstay in his life; she was too interesting not to be. “I’ve been back to Vancouver a few times to visit my Ma’s family and it’s a whole different beast to be in the mountains away for the civilization.” He agrees.

“It’s kind of why I like being in the forest or in the garden. It feels natural. I don’t need to perform or act any way for anything because the plant life is happy for water and sunlight.” There’s a small pause as he takes the tiny crane into his palm; thing small construct dwarfed in his hand as he smiles. “I hope one day you feel infinite on earth, cause I know that we can be anything we want to be here; though it’s a lot of letting go other’s concerns and freeing our minds to do that.” He’s loosely quoting his therapist from years ago now, though the sentiment applied here.

“What do you do for fun?” Hayden asks, the last word lingering in his mouth for a moment as he puts the crane on the table and pulls up Vulcan; who quickly nuzzles into the crook of his neck with a exasperated huff… as if telling them it’s about time he got to snuggle. “I’ve got a lot of weird musings that a lot of people get weirded out by; for example… I only listen to classical music. Yeah no lyrics, just great symphonies of instruments and the great composers of old. It’s so soothing.” The smith shared, feeling that the swell and dips and adventures each piece took you on was a greater journey than words could convey, as their meaning was all up front and with classical the depth was unbound to understanding of phases and words. Limitless.

Sam laughed, shaking her head. "I didn't mean pure in that you're not... sexually compelling. Moreso that you seem to... not have a judgmental bone in your body. That's rare these days," she explained, because she had wanted to jump Hayden's bones since she had cleaned the soot off of his forehead in the restaurant, and that impulse had only intensified when he had shown her his burns. Hayden had opened up, and that made her want to open up in more ways than one, even if it was their first date. Hayden wanted to know her, though, and that was rare in this city. They weren't going to rush things, Sam would just have to fight her urge to climb into his lap and steal another kiss. Hayden just looked so damn comfy.

Apparently, Vulcan thought so too. "Texas is like that. I'm from a small town. I miss being able to bike everywhere. I miss the fresh air, and camping under the stars with the dogs," Sam admitted, flushing, her accent coming out in small twangs. Even after three years, only going back home during winter break, it still slipped out sometimes. "You don't have to act or perform with me, Hayden," Sam said, a half smile cracking her face. He should realize that, though, given that she ditched the stuffy restaurant with him. Infinite was such a funny word. Sam wondered if she had ever felt like that. The trans experience was taking control of your body. Sam couldn't help but smile as Hayden spoke. He was down to earth, and salt of the earth, and she wanted to get to know him too.

"I'm addicting to working out," Sam admitted with a laugh. "I actually teach an aerobics class four days a week. I also love dancing, which is... hard to do to classical music. But I do have a soft spot for Beethoven. Mostly that it was incredible that he was able to keep composing while deaf. I just find that... like, super inspiring. I like... inspiring individuals," she breathed, eyeing the loveseat by the roaring fire. "Should we... move to the couch?", Sam asked, cocking her head to the side, knowing it was a lot classier than just asking if he wanted to cuddle and make out a little bit.

[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

Listening to Sam, Hayden’s body posture opened as his eyes drift over her; the look knowing. While they had not necessarily had the same traumas; they definitely spoke to a pain that was deeper than their physical experience, something that had been a part of them through the loss of someone close to them. “I’m sorry you went through all of that on top of losing your father Sam. It’s not easy losing a parent, neither is figuring out how to be you.” He offered as he sighed a little and nodded. 

“My scars still haunt me. I don’t remember much of the crash; I was too young and therapist have told I’ve blocked out most of the trauma; but it’s still there ya know? My Dad and I were heading to the lake to go fishing, well he was going to fish; I was probably going to be grossed out by worms and make a sandcastle. He never saw the semi coming; or at least thats what I’ve been told.” The grimace on his face as he closes his eyes; not picturing the memory but just imagining the crash from the details he knew. “He was gone instantly. I however was strapped in good enough the crash only jostled me, broke an arm and pinned me pretty good.” There’s a sharp inhale at the slightly uncomfortable wiggle has Hayden readjusting his position in his chair.

“The fire and rescue crew eventually got to the crash, but by then I’d passed out from the heat of the fire from spilled gasoline and the chair and other things hadn’t melted but I was really exposed. I don’t remember much of my time in the hospital. It was a year before my skin had really healed enough and the additional complications stopped before coming home. Then was the fun of going to school and not understanding why I was the different kid.” He looks down and smiles a little.

“Your skin doesn’t make you any less of a person Sam. Your father knows that as much as I do, I know it for myself too but there’s layers to that.” Hayden nods as he truly believes that, Sam was a beautiful woman; nothing could take that away from her. “I get the waiting thing honestly I just had no ability to make connections for the longest time and then it felt like I missed the chance to learn how too.” There’s a small chuckle as he shakes his head. “I have as much charm as a pile of dirt; which objectively I do often find charming.” He shrugs as he cocks his head.

 “Astrophysics? Damn girl, you stupid smart.” Hayden shakes his head; having never considered higher education than his high school degree, he was lucky enough to of found a journeyman to work under to obtain his seals before he’d just expanded his mother’s own business. Of course the mentorship took lots of forms and provided a lot of knowledge for Hayden, it did end the way it should have and that was with Hayden surpassing his teacher. “I don’t mean to make you wait either, I just… have been burnt for a lack of a better word and I just… like making sure before. Eyes are deceiving at times. People balk.” There’s obvious pain the words; though they don’t elaborate on the full weight of the words. “Not that you will or might, but I can’t be too reckless with my heart.” A smile, small and respectful as he glances to Sam; hoping she just… understands.

There was that look in Hayden's eyes that only other young adults with dead dads had when she talked about losing her father. Hayden got in. Hayden knew what it was like to watch, smell, see his father dying. A single tear rolled down Sam's face, the skin around her mouth pulling tight. She was clenching her jaw slightly, and trying to keep it together, especially as he told her about his own lost, about how in a matter of minutes, his whole life had went up in flames, and everything had changed. And Sam knew how scary change could be, because she was always changing.

She wasn't the same girl that she was at fourteen when her father had died. Nor was she the girl that moved all the way out to San Francisco on her own to go to school at only eighteen. Nor was she the girl that she was a year ago, in the middle of one of the most turbulent relationships of her life with a guy she love-hate-loved in a viscous cycle. Sam could only be who she was in a moment. And right now, she was a girl that needed another beer, and the big guy's arm around her. Maybe he was repulsed, having seen her devour the meal that he had effortlessly prepared.

"I know it's not the same," Sam murmured softly, peeling the label off of her bottle of beer, "but I know exactly what it was like being... the weird kid." Stealing a glance at Hayden, she spoke again, "I meant it when I said I would have been friends with you when we were younger. I can just... tell, because you have a good soul. You don't seem to be the judgmental type at all. Like... there's this purity in your eyes, and I... just.. can't shake it." The admission might have been a little too much, she was flustered slightly by her own words.  

Sam nodded, eyes bright as she agreed. "Let's make a connection," the girl breathed as she successfully got off the beer label in one pull. Slowly, she began to fold it, leaning over the table. If this wasn't her first time here, she'd be getting up, taking the dishes in to the sink, and doing them, before returning with beers, but she didn't want to overstep her welcome. Sam was new here. Hayden and her barely knew each other, but she was beginning for cosmic strings to pull them tautly together and for some type of bond to form, beyond just their shared trauma.

"That's the one thing I really miss about Texas is the night sky," she admitted. Her hands continued working until a teeny, tiny crane was beginning to form. "I would lay on my back on the roof and just watch the sky and I'd imagine what if I could just float up there, through the cosmos and into nothing. And then, there, out there in the vacant space of nowhere, I could be infinite. I was sick of being made of Earth, but I guess that's just... dysphoria," Sam chuckled, placing the tiny crane in front of Hayden.

[sweatinglikesam]

matty-beau​:

It was clear the other had something to prove, prompting Matthieu to raise their eyebrows, not out of surprise or anything, but simply a french gesture during conversation to display a degree of attentiveness. “I do not see you as a desperate weirdo,” he assured her. “If my gesture was misconstrued, I am sorry, and you are very free to dine alone,” he added as though it were a matter as simple as that. The eye-contact that Sam made almost constantly was hard for Matty to bear. It was as though she were trying to bore into his thoughts and read beyond his words, which he did not like for anyone to do. “What-” he had no idea what she was implying, but decided to attempt to drop it. “I am Matthieu.”

Matthieu was amazingly French. He didn't even catch on to her crudely American play on words. But Sam relented, smiling softly, to herself mostly. She wasn't going to explain how baguettes baking were like erectile tissue flooding with blood, because the bread, like the dick, ended up hard. So she just shrugged, playfully, staring back down at the menu like she hadn't even meant to speak.

"Matthieu," she tried, it feeling French on her tongue and fuzzy like sparkling water, "of course, you are. I'm going to take a wild guess here... You're not from around here, are you?", she asked, drawling over the words, "neither am I. I'm a trans transplant from Texas," Sam chuckled.

[sweatinglikesam]

roman--esposito​:

If anyone was to blame for this, it was his parents for inviting her in the first place. One drink too many and he was in bed with his ex. Every guy’s worst nightmare. Roman hoped it was a horrible nightmare that didn’t come true. He knew that wasn’t the case when he woke up the sound of Sam’s voice. Covering both of his hands over his face, not because of the irritating hangover he had but because it was his worst fears coming back to haunt him.

“We already played that game, remember? You lost. Twice.” Sliding out of bed on his side, he pulled on a pair of boxers and shook his head. He hated what his mother would think this would mean, she’d always had more of a hard-on for Sam than he did. “Don’t think this is turning into a drink. We only had sex because we both were wasted. You don’t want this and I don’t. Let’s get that settled right now.”

The remedy to Roman Esposito? Binging movies like Gone Girl and squealing with glee as Rosamund Pike ruined Ben Affleck's life. Roman was such an Affleck, it made her sick. Why she always ended up under him or on top of him was lost to her, but blaming the alcohol seemed like the easiest excuse. "I'm always the loser when it comes to us, darling," Sam sardonically spoke, sounding far too bitter for her liking. Part of her just wanted to dive back into bed and pull the big dummy's arms around her and ride out her hangover. But she knew that wasn't part of this, not anymore.  

"Considered it settled," Sam agreed, turning towards Roman, breasts out because she still couldn't find her stupid bra. That was probably a mistake. Roman had always been fond of her tits, because he was a red meat eating, beer drinking straight dude, and it was impossible not to show them off slightly. He'd seen them enough, anyway. Just a peek, though, before an arm was draping over her chest, covering her bright pink nipples, puffy with the cold. "Have you seen my bra?", Sam murmured, shaking out her messy blonde locks, and groaning. "My head is pounding, Roman."

[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

“Don’t take this the wrong way Sam; but he loves everyone. Totally love obsessed. I could honestly lose him to anyone who’d give him love. He’s one whole second from forgetting who I am most days.” Hayden mused, not trying to downplay the genuine affection the dog had; but the truth was to pup would bend over for ANY hand anywhere. He was that type of social animal; very much the opposite to his beloved owner. “I find that hard to believe. I’m a regular swamp thing on a good day.” He teased Sam, chuckling a little as he set things up to be brought out to the table on the deck. The bowls come out and then a custom bottle holder follows with all the extras they could need for the dinner.

“I’ve been steadily cooking in the kitchen for like twenty years now, so this giant form is actually nimble when it matters most.” Hayden chuckles a little as things were set and he finally took his seat; actively digging into the food once he’d dressed it to his taste, a satisfied hum as he swallowed the first bite. “I really latched on to the idea of ‘man of the house’ once I hit double digits, to the point I’m a little afraid to move out because I’m not sure my mom remembers how to cook for herself anymore. Like she’s not terrible, but I wouldn’t let he cook for anyone I particularly care for. Well intention and very out of practice.” He mused as he definitely could she him living in the house till his mom past; he honestly could imagine not living with her ever? They’d developed a close bond and their businesses were entwined to the point moving felt too much of a hassle.

“Thank you though. It’s a labor of love honestly and a long road of learning lessons cause there wasn’t much of a guide to veganism back then. So it was a lot of trial and error. Doctor’s convinced my ma was trying to hurt me and me screaming at doctors trying to force me back. Good times.” Hayden couldn’t help but chuckle; as he was actually really healthy and his body certainly reflected that vitality. Most people were honestly shocked to find such a large man to be a vegan; which was amusing in it’s own right. “So… I’m sure you have some questions about me, fire away.” He tosses the ball into Sam’s court; wondering what she might be thinking about, seeing what she was curious about if anything.

Sam didn't have to ask questions. She was soaking up who Hayden was. An amazingly gifted metal worker that was a mama's boy with a heart that ached for animals and a green thumb that Sam wanted to suck into her mouth. Maybe she seemed quiet and that was why Hayden had said that. Sam wasn't sure. She just knew that as a girl, and this sounded so dated, especially to her, but it was her mom in her head saying 'listen to your man. stand by your man.' and all those old country clichés.

Sam wanted to fight that internal maternal monologue. "No questions. Just comments," she said, her dimples popping as she smiled. "Let me tell you something...," Sam bite at her bottom lip, trying to keep it from shaking as she eyed the scars that were now covered by the man's shirt once again, "...you showed me your scars. Let me... show you some of mine."

She sat slack, arms at her sides, feeling like her defenses were down. She never really talked about this, especially not with first dates. But she had kissed him, and he had pushed her away because he was unsure if she would look at him the same way. Now it was her turn, even though he had never offered a second kiss. Blue eyes glowed slightly, remembering the good times before -- , "when I was thirteen, my Dad got sick. Like... terminal cancer sick. And I had to watch him slowly fade away... while experiencing male puberty."

Hands shook slightly as she gripped at the glass of water. "I wanted to tell them. Like right there. Right then. But weeks turned into months and it wasn't until I was fifteen, one his death bed, that I finally told him and... Mom... that I was trans. He accepted it immediately. Because I always was," a sniffle, "Daddy's Little Girl." Her mom had taken a lot longer to come around.

"I just... I waited. And I hate myself for that," Sam admitted. "Because I spent two unrepairable years in denial, even though I had always known.... And I guess... that's why I kissed you. Because all I do is work and school, oh, I'm studying astrophysics, and work out, and I'm just... tired of waiting. I was... immediately charmed by you, honestly."

[sweatinglikesam]

benjamin--cruz​:

Benjamin was glad that him and Sam had come to an agreement that they would drop the fact that he was late and just concentrate on their dinner that they were having with one another now. “I think I can hear it slightly, but I think it’s something that I would have to really pay attention to if I wanted to notice it.” He replied to her honestly. “I think I am going to have the chicken parmesan. I feel like I am a very basic person when it comes to Italian foods like pasta. I just go for the classics but they are so good.” Ben shrugged his shoulders softly and he laughed at himself before setting his menu down and closing it up to show that he was done with his choice because if he looked at the menu any longer then he would change his mind at least three or four more times.

"Oooh," Sam breathed. "Now that sounds good," she sighed, diving back into the menu. Now, her indecisiveness was coming into play. It was hard to pick just one. "I don't really eat red meats," she breathed, "so, maybe like...," a consideration, and she was blushing slightly. "Hi, I'm a California with food issues. I do eat gluten, though, truly," Sam relented. What would be a sexy choice? How can I enthrall with an Italian order? "I'm going to do the Pesto whole grain pasta with the salmon," she gushed. Nothing was as sexy as pesto.

[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

“For the most part. Ma and I come up with the designs and I do most of the larger structural shaping; whereas she’s actually a jeweler, so she works on the very fine details that are a little hard for me to get at.” Hayden muses as he waggles his fingers to the other, displaying why such details were harder for him to get to; thus explaining how their duo works. “The garden is a good display of the custom work I do, so it’s a really nice thing to work on for business and pleasure.” He shrugs, really loving the simple work that was working on his passions.

“That’s good, he’s insatiable.” Hayden mused as he enters his kitchen, and begins working on a stir fry. Getting his rice water boiling and oiling his pan; eyes drift out into the backyard as he leaves the stove for a moment, having known the time away he can spend. He pulls some fire wood to the decorative brazier in the middle of his deck that he built, placing them up and starting a fire with ease before he drifts back into the house to resume his cooking. “Hopefully this is better lighting for the meal.” He hums to himself as he awaited the water to come to a boil before he put the rice into the pot.

He switches his focus to cutting up some different veggies for the stir fry, peppers, a small onion, snap peas, some broccoli leaflets and some water chestnuts. With the rice on the way, Hayden added some veggies into the pan to get them to fried up and softened for when the rice was finished. “You okay with some spice?” He asked out the window, as he opened his expansive spice cupboard; pulling out an array of vials to help season and spice the stir fry to taste. Listening to Sam’s answer, Hayden seasons the veggies and thickens the sauce a bit.

It’s barely twenty minutes before Hayden is finished in the kitchen, plated plates and has slowly begun bringing out things to the custom outdoor table set he built; setting down extra in case they were hungrier, extra sauces in case they desired extra kick and lastly an ice cold beer because that was important. “So I’m not sure if you like extra kick, but I like it spicy.” The grin on his face only spoke to the levels of spicy he enjoyed, patting two different hot sauces into his bowl; mixing it all together before he padded back into the house to return with Vulcan’s dinner. “Everyone should be fed now.” He nods as he takes a sip of his beer before bringing a bite of his stir fry.

Insatiable. What a pretty word. A word that might describe not only his dog's need for snuggles, but Sam's currently need to be touched. Something about Hayden drove her wild, but she tried to focus on rubbing the dog's belly, and not stealing glances into the kitchen at the man that was literally cooking for her. A dumb smile cracked across her face. She had dropped to her knees the moment they had gotten back to his, but it was only to give Vulcan necessary scratches and rubs. "He loves me!", Sam shouted back, laughing, hoping the good will from Vulcan would be endorsement enough for the man that lived with his mother to sneak her back into his bedroom later.

"You look even better when I can see you," Sam shouted over the crackle of the stovetop as she listened to the sound of frying oil. Eyes traced those shoulders and the back of his thick neck from her place on the floor. Sam wanted her face print in his pillow and his teeth on her thighs. A man was literally cooking for her. Her mom used to tell her that was what her dad did to make her fall for him. Maybe it was type of ironic curse, how daughters were always forced to become their mothers. Although, she doubted her mother ever had thoughts as scandalize as she was having on a first date. Thoughts of cocksucking and hair pulling and ass smacking.

But Hayden was a good man and being too forward was a great way to scare off a good man. Leaning down to kiss at Vulcan's head, she slipped up off of the floor, and snuck into the kitchen doorway, hanging and watching the gentle giant at work. "I like it spicy," she cooed, making a face at herself. Sometimes, she talked too much, but she was trying to listen more now. Hayden made her want to listen, she wanted to learn all his stories and memorize the lines on his palm. "That smells amazing," Sam admitted, not overcrowding him, letting him cook.

Sam wanted to offer to help, but Hayden moved so smoothly and so quickly, graceful for a giant, that she felt the best thing she could do was stand aside, purse hanging off her hip, not knowing where to throw it down. This was a brand new place. Finally, she set it down on the counter, following Hayden out to sit and eat. She really hoped his mom was out for a while. She needed some time to stare at him under the glow of the fireplace. And Sam didn't always do great with parents. Watching him pour hot sauce on his food, she copied him. She was from Texas. Spice she could handle, and she wanted to impress. There was so much that she wanted to say, but now, silence overtook them, and she ate, smiling to herself as the flavors of the food overtook. And without dropping her chopsticks, the bowl of stir fry and rice was steadily emptied.

"OhmyGod," Sam breathed, flushing slightly, "I never eat like that... I... you're a really good cook," she breathed, full, and her beer was emptied in one long gulp and a satisficed 'ahhh' escaped her.

[sweatinglikesam]

matty-beau​:

“I don’t,” he replied, without the same kind of irony that she had employed when asking the question. “Although, I am certain that is for others to judge, and not myself. I would be biased.” Matthieu allowed her to take a seat and gave her the menu that had been set for his stand-up date. He sat a bit straighter now, too, since there was someone in his company– not that Matt slouched, really, but he hadn’t had anyone to engage with while waiting on his own, so he had sunk slightly in his seat from dejection, or boredom. “I do not think I have ever ordered veal.”

"I'm not some desperate weirdo," Sam murmured as she stared at the menu. Eyes slanted, glaring at the boy across the table from her for a moment. "It's important that you know that. I'm not the type of girl that... I never go on blind dates. It's just... there's this little old lady, and I am nothing if not incredibly kind to the elderly," Sam murmured, tone just slightly ironic, because it was fun being highly ironic with someone from France. The French had, indeed, invented irony. Also ennui, sex, and cheese, and Sam was only experiencing one of those essential feelings now. "We should get a cheese plate?", she asked, eyeing the French boy, "especially if you're trying to bake your baguette...." Snickering at her turn of phase, Sam gave the stranger a toothy smile. “I’m Sam,” she introduced herself. 

[sweatinglikesam]

salemclarke​:

Salem wasn’t one to be weak. He liked exercise, worked hard to keep his body toned as he pointedly ignored the areas like his thighs and hips that never went away. He could do most weightlifting without a problem, but aerobics? Not so much. He had made a mistake scheduling himself to an early class to try something new so that if it worked, he would feel better. Instead, he wanted to pass out. He laid starfished out on the mat, chest heaving and gazing at the ceiling, trying to gather his bearings. After a workout, him sweating usually calmed him, made him feel proud that he had made it through the training. This time around, he felt sore and disgusting, flexing his leg only to feel a jolt of pain run through it. He groaned loudly, propping himself up on his elbows and leveling his gaze with the instructor. She was good, he’d give her that, but he was also aching which also made him grumpy. “Actually, that was fuckin’ brutal. I don’t know where my legs meet my ass anymore. Does it always hurt like this? Ouch, fuck.” He winced and flopped back down, tossing an arm over his eyes. “I feel like I’ve been ran over by a semi. There’s no way you do this all the time. I think once is e-fuckin’-nough. Please tell me this place offers massages.”

A bright pink bubble began forming out of Sam's equally bubblicious painted lips. Her regulars were filing out. All her classes were always before noon and with the intensity pumped up to over 9000, especially her weekend classes. That was to persuade looky-loos into not wasting their time. This was San Francisco and times were tough. At least that was Sam's opinion. "This class is about de-toxifying," the blonde managed, strutting over to the on the floor boy, and standing over him like some type of wicked angel. "Obviously," she chimed, dropping a bottle of water onto him, "you are now toxin free. Invigorating, isn't it?"

It was kind of charming, but maybe that was the accent she caught. "Three times a day, six days a week," she chirped, trying not to feel smug at her prowess. It had taken a long time and an insane amount of training to get here. Stretching, she side eyed the man as he mentioned needing a massage. "Is that a come-on?", she purred, "because I'm sure that if you can't keep up with my class, you won't be able to keep up with me in the bedroom...." Licking her lips, she smacked her gum, watching the clock, primed to kick him out if he cut into her next class's time, unless he was going to put his money where his mouth was and show her something. That runner's high should be kicking in about now, at least.

[sweatinglikesam]

benjamin--cruz​:

“Yes, must live in the present.” He smirked and then eyed up the menu some more as he tried to figure out what he was going to order for his food. “It’s so weird but you know what? I think you are right. I am sure she owns this restaurant and is able to do stuff like that, but then again why would she just be hanging out in the laundromat and trying to get people to do this stuff unless she is looking for more business for the restaurant.” He smirked softly. “Oh yeah? What is it exactly you are pointing at? I don’t know what I want still.” He explained as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

"That's all we can do really. Is be... in the present," she murmured, eyes drifting away from the menu and catching the brown eyes staring at her. Another pull of the corners of her mouth and awkward little laugh, and she was turning her menu in, showing off her fancy, flavorful choice. "We're going Dutch, so don't think I'm one of those types of girls," Sam chuckled, "I've been eating an insane amount of seafood since moving to the Bay, though. I'm from Texas originally. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. It only comes out when I've been drinking, really," Sam admitted with a slight blush. And she was trying not to drink tonight, because that wasn’t the only part of her that showed up when she drank. 

[sweatinglikesam]

benjamin--cruz​:

“Alright, well again. I am very sorry about that. You don’t deserved to be stood up and if anyone would do that to you then they are most definitely an ass.” He replied to the woman sitting across from him while fidgeting with the menu in his hands. “That’s true. You are still here and I am glad that I had the opportunity of running into Ms. Minh. I had heard about her around town but I didn’t see her until I went to the laundromat one night because mine broke from the travel so I guess it was kind of fate that it broke, but I don’t feel like buying a new one.” He chuckled nervously. “Well thank you, but I don’t think I look nearly as gorgeous as you.” Ben complimented her as his own cheeks were heating up. He didn’t know what to get from the place they were eating. Should he eat light so he didn’t seem like a pig? Or should he warn her now and show how he really eats?”

Sam blushed at the praise, as tended to happen when tall, dark and handsome was praised her looks. "You're here now," Sam muttered, trying not to smile as she stared at the menu instead of at her date. Even though she very much wanted to look at him. "Ms. Minh gets insistent sometimes, and only then do I go out on these things.... Honestly, I think she's got a deal with this place," Sam chuckled, looking over the outlandish prices. "How much do you wanna bet she owns this restaurant too?", Sam asked, leaning across the table to steal a glance at the male. "I'm Sam, by the way. And just to be frank, I'm starving," she admitted as she flipped right by the salads and moaned looking over the seafood pasta options. Finding a lobster stuffed shells option with fettucine pesto underneath, she tapped at it. "That's it," she breathed, hoping he didn't plan on trying to make out after given the sheer amount of garlic that was probably in the dish.

[sweatinglikesam]

closed for @roman--esposito

She’d gone and done it again. After many drinks at a family event, because yes, she was still getting invited to family events, she had stumbled to Roman’s room with him. His hands had been everywhere, somehow undoing her bra as he pulled her through the expansive house that she one day thought she’d be the woman of. And they’d spent the night together, not getting much sleep, just falling back into old routines. 

Sam woke up with a sore ass, and Roman still next to her, naked and snoring away. Sighing, she slipped out of bed, searching out her underwear and her dress. If she could be quiet enough, she could get out of here without waking up Roman and having to come up with an excuse to quickly ditch. A slight squishiness in her stomach, and Sam cringed. “Fuck you, Roman,” she hissed, realizing the lack of condom from last night. It had been so long, why did they fall back into old routines so easily? 

[sweatinglikesam]

benjamin--cruz​:

Ben knew that it was awful to show up late on a date and he was going to look back in this girls eyes. “Thank you so much for being so understanding. It feels like my head was not tied on tight this morning the second I woke up. I actually suck.” He chuckled nervously as he looked at her and smiled. She was pretty. He always did have a thing for blondes too. The pink that was show up on her cheeks made Ben smile and he thought to himself for a couple of seconds to think about how he wanted to start things and he decided to be cheesy about it. “So, what brought you to the blind date area? I’ve never really done anything like this so I always like to see why people choose to do it.” And that was true, Ben had never gone to anyone and set up something like this. Normally it was the dating apps but he decided that since those weren’t working he would try something new and he wasn’t getting any younger.

Making a face as he said he sucked, Sam tried to relax. She had been watching the clock on her phone before, but now he was here, and they could look through the menu and she could do a salad and be a first date stereotype. "Really, it's no big deal," Sam laughed, shrugging. She hadn't been stood up. That was the important part. "I don't think you suck... or anything. I'm still here, aren't I?", the words were mused softly, but she didn't have an expression of sour on her face. It was pretty neutral, all things considered. "I live and die for Ms. Minh, honestly. I didn't like... hire her or anything," she snickered, flipping through the menu so she had something to do with her hands. "She just came up to me while I was doing my laundry and was like. Doing that thing she does where she's like 'I have perfect man for you. So gorgeous!'", Sam's brow cocked, staring across the table at the other male, "at least she was right about that part."

[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

Trembling as Sam’s hand moved about him, he nodded; feeling emotionally raw and exposed in the moment. He felt seen and a little less worried about things now that his shame was laid bare for Sam; though she’d need to know the full story of why he had those scars and what the represent to him but the wall would be fully down for her. The nice thing was he wasn’t worried about her suddenly finding out while they were being vulnerable with each other and have her suddenly run out on him; which had happened before. “You’d better eat them…. they’re good for you.” He hums softly, pulling his shirt back on because it was a little chilly out at this time and he’d definitely was at the point he could cut some glass if he wanted to. 

The drive home was about twenty minutes across town and to the very edges, along the larger of properties; Hayden pulled into the driveway of where a modest sized house was. The front lawn was a floral wonderland, featuring a fantastical gardenscape with all sorts of pieces in there to speak to some theme with plenty of larger metal and wood pieces to further the theme and behind the house was the functional garden. The last building on the property was the very large garage, which was where Hayden did all his work in; his custom furniture pieces out on display or in various states of completion in that moment. “Here’s home. It’s not fancy, but it is paradise.” Hayden looks up and is thankful that is appeared his mom wasn’t home; he did not need to listen to her comments on him skipping out on ‘fine’ dining experiences.

“So I planted and tended to all of this with my mom; though I have the green thumb… she’s got dexterous finger. We balance each other out.” He chuckles as he pads up the steps and fumbles with his keys as if to display his fat fingers not being accurate with their intentions, before producing his keys and opening the door to look in and see his pup sitting expectantly for him. “I have a guest bud. Be good.” Hayden pointed to the Vulcan who cocked his head to his massive owner; yipping in disagreement as he tore back into the house, clearly experiencing zoomies in the moment.

“I’d apologize for him, but he does this all by himself. It’s why I couldn’t leave without him and it why you have to indulge him.” He sighs heavily as it begins. Vulcan comes back into the front foray and begin to whimper as if he was hurt; which progressed to pointed whines and then to almost howls. “He’s demanding love. Now.” Hayden cocked his head to his pup as he toed out of his shoes. “I’m gonna go start at dinner, you have him to deal with and making yourself at home okay?” He tells Sam in a slightly amused as he pet Vulcan on the head softly as the fessing animal quieted for a moment while getting the attention he wanted before going back to his needy state once Hayden left him for the kitchen.

Sam didn't ask what had caused the scarring. She figured it wasn't her place, if he wanted her to know, he'd tell her. They barely knew each other, and that was what Sam had to keep reminding herself. Just because she was seduced by his natural charm, that he probably didn't even realize he had, didn't mean she could fall too quick too soon. Sam had a heart to guard. So, she was on guard, but just slightly. She didn't bring up watching her father die or how she had to grow up quicker than she wanted to. A part of her wanted to tell him, though.

Hayden just breathed as she touched him, before pulling his shirt back down and closing her into the vintage truck. Maybe she had been wrong, that this wasn't just an excuse to take her home, but that he really wanted to cook for her. For some reason, that made her heart soar, especially as they slowly drove, rock and roll on the radio. They got there soon enough, to a beautiful, small property that would probably make a real estate agent shit. This was the definition of location, location, location. And it looked to have a front and back yard, and so close to the city, too. Sam could see herself getting away from the hustle and bustle out here, working the garden with Hayden, already planning a future in her head like girls tended to do.

"This is beautiful," she marveled, hopping out of the car before he could let her out, showing off her independence. "Did you make all those statues in the yard? I absolutely adore them," Sam swooned as she followed him in through the garage. She had no clue that he was this talented. Hayden seemed a different species. There just weren't men like this anymore. At least not in the city. A small shudder as Sam found herself craving being picked up by the giant of a man once again. Instead, Vulcan ran in, demanding an introduction, and Sam couldn't help but laugh. She was definitely a dog person. "OhmyGod, hi, Vulcan!", she cooed, introducing herself as he seemed much more interested in Hayden's affections. Sam could relate to that. Hardcore.

"I have love to give, don't worry," Sam laughed, watching the dog dance around her. Hayden went for the kitchen, and she squatted down,  giving the sweet pup a full body rub. Laughing as he flipped onto her lap, she fell to her knees, holding him and rubbing his belly. Vulcan took to her, just like she took to him, happy to smother the sweet boy in hugs and kisses as she waited for Hayden to take his return.

[sweatinglikesam]

“I know, I know, class was amazing. I am an inspiration of physical perfection. Thank you,” Sam murmured absent mindedly. She usually wasn’t so cold, but after her 55 minute heart pounding body destroying 6am Aerobics class, all she wanted to do was chew a piece of THC bubblegum, blow bubbles, and get ready for her next class. Friday was just like that. Back to back classes before she broke for the weekend. But the skinny legend prevailed, popping a bubble as she stared at the sweaty, obviously not used to high impact cardio partipant. 

[sweatinglikesam]

haydensmiths​:

The sentiment always seemed like a nice gesture; people inferring they’d of been a friend, but Hayden always took it with a grain of salt. He knew how friend groups worked and no one liked being labelled the outcast, they’d hardly ever become one to comfort another kid and the peer pressure often pushed them to not interact and join in on the torment. Not that Sam seemed like the type to be cruel without reason; but kids were horrible because they don’t understand, it wasn’t their fault anymore than it was his for what happened. That was the hardest part of it all, letting it go because it was nobodies fault.

“I’m sorry you lost your dad Sam… it’s not easy to lose a parent. I lost mine when I was four, so I don’t remember him very well; but he’s still there? There’s essences of him with my mom, there’s photo’s of their life before; but I can’t really place him.” He shares, not entirely sure how the two tragedies added up; but it was a common thing for them… the death of a parent. Which was morbid he realized after the fact. “I never really needed a rebellious phase, I started working with my hands when I was like eight to help my mom and then I guess when I started metal working was my rebellion… that she encouraged?” Hayden shrugs as he’d never really had to rebel as he’d never had a social circle or bad influences in his life; just him, his mom and within the last four years… Vulcan.

He was not expecting the kiss, which is partially why he recoiled; however he definitely reacted to it as his arms wrapped around the tiny girl in his surprise which resulted in her dangling off the floor once he’d reached his full height. “That was unexpected.” He chuckles softly as he puts her back down of the ground, cocking his head a little and smiles. “Not that it wasn’t nice, but could we hold off on that for a hot minute?” The words were painfully awkward for him, and he didn’t want to imagine had bad it was for her to hear after being vulnerable that way with him. “There’s… I’ve….” Words failed him in the moment so the logical thing in the moment was to just show; because that said much more than he could in the moment.

There was a certain amount of shame that came with this reveal for him; whether it was lingering from the bullying growing up or survivors guilt eating at him for what happened, his scars were a border he hadn’t been able to cross because they were SO present all the time. The scars licked across his upper torso, curving around his pecs and dipping over the top portion of them, dipping the same length down his arms and he turned to reveal similar patterns across his upper back. The heavy swallow of thick emotion as he turned back to Sam, face displaying untold amounts of emotions as he went to shrug. “It’s not painful these days, depending on what I’m doing that is… but it is a thing that you should be very aware of before anything happens.” Hayden offers as a friendly warning that at least ten percent of his body had no sensation for the most part, was horrifically scarred and that didn’t touch on the inside yet. His eyes found a special spot on the floor awaiting a reaction that could go either way honestly.

Sam was kicking herself. Why she had to go and do something like that was beyond her, but it was really his fault for holding the door for her and being so real in a city that was very image concerned. But, he recoiled, just from the kiss, but embraced her, lifting her Doc Marten booted feet off the ground with ease. Now, Sam felt small, a feeling that she often craved. Small, and weak, and vulnerable, because they both had dead dads. And she had tried to kiss him. And her Daddy issues were showing.

"We can hold off," Sam agreed, a little flustered at how forward she could be when she was really feeling somebody. And Hayden had her big time in her feels for the big guy. He was open and kind, like a teddy bear she desperately wanted to squeeze. But it was grounding, to be back on her feet, back in front of Hayden, again listening to his low voice, its tremble, its bass. But now, it was breaking, and it was fading into the night.

Hayden raised his shirt, having something he wanted to show her. Eyes fell, tracing the constellations that the burns created on the man's chest and abdomen. Her heart twisted for him. And she wanted to kiss him again, kiss over the skin where it had grown back, and assure him that he was absolutely beautiful. But they were standing on the street, and here wasn't the place, nor the time. It wasn't her place to assure him that he was beautiful. That was something that came from deep, deep within, and Sam had taken so long to know that.

Both hands raised, fingers slowly tracing up his body, eyes moving up to find Hayden's until her fingers came to the middle of his chest, draping over themselves and pressing slightly to it. "To me, Hayden," Sam said softly, "this matters so much more than anything else. You... you're so special. I really think that. I barely know you, but, I don't know. I do feel like we would have been friends when we were younger... I needed a friend too." The trans experience wasn't so different, trauma was painted on Sam's body too, although hidden by colorful tattoos, scars tucked so far away, because she was not brave like Hayden.

Her hands rose once more, laying over the back of the man's neck now, softly, staring into his big, teddy bear eyes. "Just... take me home, and make me eat my veggies. And know... that I think you are so beautiful. So very beautiful. Inside and out," Sam said softly, staring into his eyes for a moment more before she was climbing up into the bright red, vintage truck, ready to see the mythological man's place.