Self love. ♥ @sweetpotatocake - Tumblr Blog

““You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy. You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like. If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way. Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference. Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.””

— Julien Smith (via naturaekos)

#important #self care #confidence

naramdil

posting bc ik a lot of yall need to hear this

#important #love #self care #confidence

remanence-of-love

lovenotereminders

Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best.

mindbodybalance

I’ve always been confused about the phrase “do your best” because to me, it encourages my perfectionism. But my friend once told me, that doing your best means doing the best you can do without sacrificing your health or other priorities for it.

#important #self care

westafricanbaby

VERY ODD. If you like women to be covered up and low key, why wouldn’t you just go for the women that like being covered up and low key??? Why would you purposely go after a woman that is the complete opposite, ask her to be your significant other, then try to change her to fit what you want????

And they say it’s women that don’t know what they want 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️.

bunnyflab

It’s because men like to manipulate, mold, and break the spirit of the women they pursue in order to create their own puppet. They know exactly what they’re doing.

blackswallowtailbutterfly

They’ll pursue a woman who’s shy and conservatively dressed and then expect her to dress in lingerie and put on a show for them. They’ll pursue a woman who’s outgoing and dressed to the nines and then expect her to dress down and not talk to other men. They do it on purpose. The purpose is conquest.

water---damage

Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe and then wanted her to quit her career and be a housewife. He became enraged when she did this shoot and used it as an excuse to beat her so badly that concerned hotel patrons called the police and her makeup artist had to cover the bruises with makeup the next day.

When asked about that night later on, Joe DiMaggio said, “Things got out of hand, I admit it. But she pissed me off so much. She didn’t care what I thought about anything, she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.”

Arthur Miller married her, and then constantly picked on her and complained in his journals that she embarrassed him, that she was unintelligent, self-centered, a child, a spoiled brat, and a bitch.

When I think about men who chase after one kind of woman and then want her to become another kind of woman, I think about her. I think wow you could be Marilyn freaking Monroe and still some man would want you to be somebody else and call that love.

amokinwonderlandsstuff

Manipulative behavior like that is wrong and someone who realizes that their partner is trying to completely change them should definitely dump them - but don’t forget that you can also say it the other way round.

E.g.: “Women look for a man who is a family type, wants children and protects the household - and go for complete assholes, try to change them during the whole relationship and are heartbroken afterwards. INSTEAD of going for someone who is loving and caring in the beginning.”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with this statement either but I think those posts are just an example of tumblr’s shitty way of black and white thinking.

sweetpotatocake

I feel like the example you just gave is a bit of a false equivalence. Especially addressing the assumption that women genuinely go for a guy who makes it clear he's an asshole from the jump just to change him and end up "broken-hearted". Most guys aren't going to show their true colors on the first date, those things show over time. No one, man or woman willingly gets into a relationship with an asshole (or abuser).

Comparing THAT situation with men wanting to control and manipulate independent women who have their own morals and standards is not even in the same ballpark.

Men going into a relationship with an independent woman in an attempt to make her more meek and submissive is not the same as a woman going into a relationship with a guy who perhaps came off as decent at first, showed his true colors, and she tries to hold on to get the nice guy he showed himself to be in the beginning. Two very different things.

It comes off very victim blame-y and the tired old trope of "why do women go for bad guys/assholes when they can just be with nice guys".

Some women do purposefully try to find guys they can manipulate into a certain mold for a relationship but your example was NOT it lol.

westafricanbaby

VERY ODD. If you like women to be covered up and low key, why wouldn’t you just go for the women that like being covered up and low key??? Why would you purposely go after a woman that is the complete opposite, ask her to be your significant other, then try to change her to fit what you want????

And they say it’s women that don’t know what they want 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️.

bunnyflab

It’s because men like to manipulate, mold, and break the spirit of the women they pursue in order to create their own puppet. They know exactly what they’re doing.

blackswallowtailbutterfly

They’ll pursue a woman who’s shy and conservatively dressed and then expect her to dress in lingerie and put on a show for them. They’ll pursue a woman who’s outgoing and dressed to the nines and then expect her to dress down and not talk to other men. They do it on purpose. The purpose is conquest.

water---damage

Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe and then wanted her to quit her career and be a housewife. He became enraged when she did this shoot and used it as an excuse to beat her so badly that concerned hotel patrons called the police and her makeup artist had to cover the bruises with makeup the next day.

When asked about that night later on, Joe DiMaggio said, “Things got out of hand, I admit it. But she pissed me off so much. She didn’t care what I thought about anything, she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.”

Arthur Miller married her, and then constantly picked on her and complained in his journals that she embarrassed him, that she was unintelligent, self-centered, a child, a spoiled brat, and a bitch.

When I think about men who chase after one kind of woman and then want her to become another kind of woman, I think about her. I think wow you could be Marilyn freaking Monroe and still some man would want you to be somebody else and call that love.

c-alm-deactivated20240218

Men still equate women’s appearance to their relationship status. As soon as they realize women don’t dress for them nor do anything with them in mind no one would have to go through the bs anymore

fuck-yeah-dylan

Men think they can control everything and lose their shit, like babies, when they can’t.

suga-oh-honey-honey

Look at what I woke up to this morning…

bubblegum-pwussay

Men also want to control womans weight in a relationship as well. Some men get insecure when there girlfriends lose weight and some keep there girlfriends on strict diet to keep the body they want its sick. And Rihannas boyfriend seem silly she has already went thru want controlling asshole of a boyfriend she doesnt need another

bootybrujeria

So we’re not gonna address how the Rihanna article is just completely untrue BS?? And the fact that it’s mentioned he’s Muslim twice without even mentioning his name?

sweetpotatocake

^Yeah I'm glad someone else noticed that..... Otherwise good post.

neptunalea

Feeding your kids is not a favor. Buying them clothing and school supplies is not a favor. Encouraging their learning throughout life and making them feel loved are not favors. These are LITERALLY OBLIGATORY FOR EVERY PARENT. Parents—do NOT use these “kind” actions as proof of how good you are. Do not make your kids feel guilty for receiving things from you. You are achieving the bare minimum of parenting. Goddamn.

incoherentfool

L O U D E R

beyond-mental-breakdown-deactiv

This is where eating disorders confuse me? I’m a mum with an eating disorder. I can’t understand how any parent whose child is under 18 and diagnosed with an eating disorder (especially if that child is underweight). Is not prosecuted with ‘neglect!’

It’s part of your responsibility as a parent to feed your child. If your child is not eating then take them to the doctors.

This as a mum really confuses me???

Am I just naive?

sweetpotatocake

Well. For one eating disorders don't just include undereating and being underweight (I assume you're referring to just being anorexic). There is binge eating disorder bulimia, etc and these aren't always easy to identify just by looking at someone, especially if they are determined to hide it well. Not to mention that anorexia nervosa I believe is a MENTAL illness. I don't think parents should be immediately slapped with neglect if it is discovered their child is suffering with an eating disorder. If the parent is good, they'll already feel mortified and blame themselves when they find out. Immediately assuming the parent was negligent is a slap in the face.

ammit420

in order to lead a happy life im gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit

microweave

not to be dramatic but this post genuinely made me consider my priorities in life and the choices i need to make for my own wellbeing

#important #self care

aidashakur

sheabuttabae

I’m digging this concept.

minionresearch

ima-fuckingt4ble

my only goal in life is to not end up in a marriage like this

meatswitch-deactivated20231107

why the fuck do adult men behave this way

mockiato-deactivated20200315

This is depressing

sweetpotatocake

This is so gross.

isabella-study

We really need to normalise exercising and eating well for reasons other than losing weight or building huge amounts of muscle. I’ve started going to the gym recently to relieve stress and help me sleep but despite the fact that I fit into shirts and skirts in size small, I’ve been asked if I’m trying to lose weight numerous times.

Here’s a list of non-aesthetic reasons to exercise:

relieves stress

keeps you healthy

improves sleep

can have a positive effect on mental health

makes you stronger and fitter

something to focus on other than work/school/uni

IT’S RECOMMENDED AS PART OF A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

mradamantine12-deactivated20230

Allat.

#important #self care #exercise #health

aocforpresident

king-emare

When will she just run for president???

#important

endangered-justice-seeker

I love this kind of people !!! Kind, honest, open, sincere, reliable, passionate about their business. Outstanding job documenting the love in that community. The world needs more Floyd’s.