i have died. badly. @sweetsweetbumblebee - Tumblr Blog

blog is dead, no longer here for anything sexual. sorry chat o7

essential honey literature

🍯 abt me 🍯

name ~ honey

age ~ in my 20s

pronouns ~ she/her, it/its

have a bf

dont bring up my partner in any sort of sexual context!!!

if you disrespect me, my dni, my limits, or my rules in any way, you will be blocked. same for other people on here

my wishlist

my of

my cashapp

my pricing

~ my dni, rules, likes, n limits r below the cut - pls read be4 interacting!!! ~

#🍯#bio #pinned

just got filled w so much longing for my friend. had tk text him that i miss him and wish i was his pet bunny intead of having a job.

#sfw #🍯#I MISS HIMMMMM BRING HIM BACK TO ME

yall can i be so real and vulnerable and admit that ive hardly rlly talked to him in the past like few weeks and i havent minded and that i am starting to kinda feel like its a chore and not a privilege. and that i feel bad for not getting excited like i typically have. and that i said we can do our date call tn but i do notttt rlly want to

#sfw #🍯#:p #i dont know if this is Real Feelings #or if im just in the worst mental health rut in years #but god im genuinely wondering if splitting up is the best for both of us #i just dont know. how to do that #ive never broken up w someone before #i am kinda yearning to whore around a little #the only person ive spoken to abt it is my roommate #and she thinks im just in a bad place rn #but. i dunno.#im being a bad partner and i know it #but i dont wanna text him. i dont wanna call him. i dont wanna hear any compliments #esp abt my body #which Are few and far between tbf. but e said smth recebtly #dont even remember what it was #and i cringed irl #it wasnt even anything crazy i just fully locked down #like just a compliment to my tits or fucking whatever #and i had ZERO desire to hear it #the only person ive ever been remotely sexual with irl btw #who i have spent so long wishing to hear ANYTHING sexual from bc he so rarely feels that way #and now i grimace hen he does

i feel like ive been a bitch recently but like also. im trying soooo hard to express my thoughts and feelings and reasonings. and its just. ugh

#sfw #🍯#said a number of times that he cant move in w me any time soon #today he asks again #i say no. with the reasons why #and he goes 'i had a feeling'#yeahh babe id hope so #sorry i know im being fucking mean rn but like ?????#for the last month ive been saying that i dont think itll be possible #im trying to be kind and understanding #but ive already said that it cant happen anytime soon #he also sent a message in to partner gc while i was asleep #saying that if anyone wants to break up then he wont hold a grudge or whatever #so :p maybe my frustration is getting obvious #or maybe that wasnt even abt me idk #but!

ive rlly been thinking abt my life without this relationship and like. idk. i think there are aspects that would be less stressful, but we also started dating bc were friends. so like. if that goes away, then what do i do now? and ive cared for him for so long, and i want us both to be happy, but i dont know what path to take for that

#sfw #🍯#maybe im just stressed and overthinking things #but this last visit rlly gave me some things im struggling to reconcile #and obviously the last thing i wanna do is hurt him #but i also fear our friendship will be completely fucked up if i dont step away #but also #that itll be fucked up of i DO step away #i dont know. what to do here lol #maybe i should talk to someone who like. knows both of us

anxiety and stress going CRAZY tn

#sfw #🍯#i havent been wanting to talk to my bf much recently #i feel like such a dick for not reaching out #and only giving lackluster responses #but i just. dont have the energy #the last time i said i was doing bad he assumed i was giving him the silent treatment. instead of sleeping or working. so #i dunno i just feel like shit #like constantly #and i dont wanna project that onto my relationship #but i feel lile i already have #ughhhhhh idk this shit just all sucks so bad

sorry im just so miserable constantly ajdhskdj im rlly hardcore struggling rn

#sfw #🍯#i shouldnt quit without another job being lined up #i KNOW that i shouldnt #but fuck this job is fucking draining #the hours are so inconsistent #and im bad at it #and i wanna go home every fucking time im here #and theyre gonna need time to find someone new anyway #so like. idk #idk!#i just donttttt wanna be here anymore

team i fear im deeper in the trenches than ever

#sfw #🍯#my work has been KILLING me #like ive been so fucking miserable #i have been applying other places #but i know itll be a while #still i feel sick at the thought of being here any longer than maybe a few more weeks #like im this close to telling them NOW that im leaving #even tho i dont have another job lined up #bc i hate it here so fucking much #and like #ugh #i dont see my friends ever #im irritable w my bf #and im not sure if i actually wanna break up w him or if im just. going through it #also my period just started and i have no pads 👍#so i thinkkkkkk i need to die #like right now actually

ughhhhh and i wanna go to him and whine and complain but i also know i should probably hold off since i wanna have an Actual convo w him later. but who else can i whine and complain to :(

#my shark #🍯#sfw #THERES NO ONE ELSSSSSSE DUDE #ughhhh i need to be shot in the street

the program we use at work is refusing to export after the most recent update so i have to print out everything then take pictures. im gonna lose it fr

#sfw #🍯#dude the product is safe to be sent out just trust me. trust me

ughhhhhh i fear i may be. overthinking. perhaps.

#sfw #🍯#idk. i might. end it w him? idk #i havent said it out loud or even typed it anywhere and just typing it here makes me wanna both cry and throw up #idk dude. recently i feel like hes been overstepping a Lot #n i FINALLY got to talk to my friends yesterday #and my bestie friend said that there are a few things hes done that have rubbed him the wrong way #including the way he kinda. talks down to me sometimes?#like not in a cruel way just. he doesnt seem to think im an actual adult #and like yeah im younger than him but. i have lived on my own for the past 4 years #i have a full time job #he still lives w his family and works part time #and thats not a bad thing at all!! but i have more experience being out in the world on my own #and he acts like i dont #and its so hard to talk to him abt things bc he takes it all soo deeply personally #like that im telling him these are moral failures and not small things i want to change #and i kinda. idk im scared to be soo locked in on my first Proper relationship #i dont know #i do care about him! a lot #but idk if i wanna stick w this forever #and it feels cruel to stay when im so unsure?#but also cruel to cut it off when i DO still love him #so. idk.#i didnt even tell my friend yesterday that this is on my mind #ughhhhhhhhh idk i hate this i hate this so much #for years ive been kinda imagining and idealizing a world where i get to whore around #idk maybe im not built for a proper relationship rn

brother i feel like ive lost 2 relationships over the course of a week and a half. whats happening rn

#sfw #🍯#not even whats hapoening im still in both relationships #i jsut. feel. CRAZY

ngl im scared for what will happen w my relationshio after this bc i dont know how to tell him to back off without seeming like a bitch abt it. like i love him but this is. my life. my friends. my house. i cant give everything up bc he wants to move in. as much as id love him here, i cant do that.

#sfw #🍯#idk what gave him the impression that this would be cool and perfrctly fine #and work out xactly how he wabted #idk i feel crazy even tho ive been assured im not

sweetsweetbumblebee

team i feel a little crazy i cant lie to u

sweetsweetbumblebee

HEEEEEE PUT MY FRIENDS AND I IN A GC TO ASK IF HE CAN HAVE OUR ITHER FUTURE ROOMMATES NUMBER TO TALK ABT MOVING IN. WITHOUT ASKING ME.

sweetsweetbumblebee

im supposed to be asleep but i actually feel kinda sick why did he do that

#🍯#sfw #IVE EXPLAINED WHY IT PROBABLY WONT HAPPEN ANY TIME SOON #HES MET OUR FRIEND ONE TIME #FOR LIKE A FEW HOURS #THEY HAVENT SPOKEN EVEN ONCE SINCE THEN #OUR FRIEND SAID HE DOESNT WANT TO LIVE WITH ANY COUPLES #AND IN GENERAL WOULDNT WANNA LIVE W A STRANGER #i feel insane i feel crazy. have i not. explained this clearly enough

sweetsweetbumblebee

team i feel a little crazy i cant lie to u

sweetsweetbumblebee

HEEEEEE PUT MY FRIENDS AND I IN A GC TO ASK IF HE CAN HAVE OUR ITHER FUTURE ROOMMATES NUMBER TO TALK ABT MOVING IN. WITHOUT ASKING ME.

#🍯#sfw #my shark #sorry this feels. crazy? it feels crazy

sweetsweetbumblebee

anyway. eagerly awaiting my bestie friend coming back home so i can yap his ear off and have him tell me what to do

sweetsweetbumblebee

i miss him and i miss his gf and i need them to come home riiight the fuck now. i need my emotional support freaks :(

#sfw #that dude and i are bound at the soul #I MISS HIMMMMMM #AND I MISS HERRRRRRRR #COME BACK HOME TO ME MY FREAKSSSSSSZSZ

anyway. eagerly awaiting my bestie friend coming back home so i can yap his ear off and have him tell me what to do

#sfw #listen i have the kittycat but my bestie friend IS my kitty #thats my guy my number one bitch #i miss him so bad hes actually my voice of reason #and i cant wait to hear abt how him and his girlfriends trip went #my little blorbos #come back home to me

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i have died. badly.