Swimless. @swimdepriveddolphin - Tumblr Blog

tachibanaa-makoto

– it would be a lie if he said he was paying attention to what makoto was saying as he sat across from him at the table. glancing out the window most of the time, he took small bites from the mackerel that was placed in front of him. it never was as good at a restaurant. either that, or haru was just being picky. they were out for the day, haru’s therapist saying it would be a good idea for him to spend the day out instead of being cooped up inside. and he made eye contact with makoto again when his name was called. he should be eating, he knew that, and hands moved to pick up the sticks again.

tachibanaa-makoto-blog

Makoto chattered on about this and that, his voice quiet enough that the people dining at the other tables weren’t disturbed whatsoever. It wasn’t important enough that he needed Haru to listen, so he didn’t bother trying to take his best friend’s attention away from whatever it was that he was looking at outside. But when the aspect of the rest of their day crossed his mind, Makoto needed a response, smiling at Haru when his attention finally returned to their table and he picked up his chopsticks once more.

“I was just wondering if there was anything in particular that you wanted to do after this,” Although this was dinner, so they didn’t have too much time left in the day, but they definitely had more time before they would return home. “Ah, also, am I staying with you again tonight?”

swimdepriveddolphin

it wasn’t hard for haru’s attention to be grabbed nowadays. he could often observe others quietly. wondering what their life was like, and even tho he had never mentioned it to makoto, he spent most of his days doing just that. he tried to keep his gaze on the one in front of him, but that was always harder. when makoto returned, haru gave him that silent stare that the taller was probably used to be now.

and haru thought for a brief second before gently shaking his head. it didn’t matter what they did. haru just didn’t want to head back yet. he could feel himself tense just thinking about it. that next question though, he waited a bit, and then answered with a sheepish nod before going back to whatever he was staring at.

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swimdepriveddolphin

rossosqualus

he never used to be afraid of the water. but recently, with everything going on, haru felt himself tense whenever he got near it. tomorrow. he would say, and then tomorrow would come, and so on. he had to do it today. the first time in the water since it all went to hell. it was quiet in the samezuka pool. the only sound of the filter that echoed in the large room. nervously moving his chair back and forth little by little, he waited for rin to say something, the silence and anxiety between the two killing him slowly.

rossosqualus

Rin empathized with Haru, that part was easy. He knew Haru for so long, knew just how important swimming was to the raven-haired, how important water was. And Rin knew how important those things were for himself as well, and how he’d be absolutely crushed if he were to lose them. He could imagine it would be impossible to move on from an incident like that, and it was nauseating to think about.

But the hard part was truly understanding what Haru was going through. Rin was not the one who couldn’t swim anymore. He wasn’t the one scared and alone, and trying to piece his life back together after something so tragic and unexpected occurred. So Rin could imagine how hard it must’ve been as much as he wanted, but it would never be the same as going through Haru’s pain directly. Rin knew that.

But, he still wanted to help in any way possible. He cared for Haru, after all, and he hoped that was clear. So here he was, standing at the Samezuka pool at night with Haruka by his side. The lights were turned off at this time at night, so the only vision they had was from the lights inside of the pool and the ones outside that shown through the windowed ceiling.

Rin turned to Haru, smiling gently. “Do you wanna do this?” He asked, his voice surprisingly quiet.

swimdepriveddolphin

haru knew that no one really understood what he was going through, and that was partially from him not letting anyone in. not letting anyone understand. the normally quiet haru only grew quieter after his accident. he wasn’t built of metal. he felt broken, like he couldn’t do anything by himself anymore without causing himself to hurt. always having to rely. he couldn’t even swim anymore. he couldn’t feel free.

part of him wondered why it happened to him. he was the one that was always one with the water. always so distant and yet so close to all of his friends. all he wanted to do was wake up from this nightmare.

he could feel his muscles tense when he heard rin speak up, almost jumping, but no quite. they would always get this far as haru stared into the darkened depths that he was once so sure of. but now he wasn’t. it wasn’t that he didn’t trust rin, he didn’t trust the water. and there was a nod, and though he did so, harus hands grabbed onto the handles of his wheelchair like his life depended on it, never once making eye contact with rin.

swimdepriveddolphin

smilesofsunset

physical therapy was hard for haru. not only did it make muscles sore, but it was also draining mentally. all he wanted to do was lay in bed forever and forget everything. but today, he knew he was going to have to go. makoto would make him. he had skipped too many times already. he bunched the covers up over his head when he heard the door from the bathroom open. makoto was done with his shower, so that meant he would come wake him up now. it was like a routine. he stubbornly let out a silent sigh as he heard those familiar steps coming over to his side of the bed. he didn’t even want to think about anything right now.

smilesofsunset-blog

‘Today Haru has an appointment..’ Makoto thought as he stood in the bathroom drying himself off with a towel. Haru had many other appointments previously, though he’d skipped out on quite a few of them claiming to not feel well enough to go or announcing that he had other things to do that day. And so he hadn’t attended and Makoto hadn’t tried to press the subject. He’d always been a softy at heart, letting his emotions rule over his actions.

The sound of cloth against hair and bare skin stopped and he wrapped the towel around his waist securely. Today would be different. He was going to make sure that his blue-eyed friend was present to his appointment this time and Makoto was sure Haru knew this as well. He quickly dressed himself, taking a small glance into the mirror, and exited the brightly lit bathroom, stepping into the dim of the connecting bedroom.

The brunet walked over to the room window and promptly opened the blinds to let in some of the warm, white light from outside. The sunlight trickled its way in, flowing over parts of the carpet and making a geometric pattern on the bed. The form under the covers made no movement and Mako walked over to the side of the bed, a hand stretching out to gently shake the sleeping figure beneath. “Haru. It’s time to wake up, Haru.” he spoke with a gentle, yet firm voice.

swimdepriveddolphin

he knew that makoto was going to make him get up today. he hadn’t been out of bed except to eat, even then it was a struggle, rather having his food brought to him, and most days he didn’t even touch it. haru just hoped that today he could be able to stay in bed, like he did most other days. eyes were closed, but ears were open as they listened to the movements of the taller male.

makoto let him stay most days, maybe he was tired of fighting with haru. tired of haru being so stubborn. it was hard for the shorter to pick himself up most days. more than he liked to admit, he felt himself spiral downwards. he needed help with everything. dressing, cooking, going to the bathroom-- swimming. that last thing was what mattered the most. and when he couldn’t do it on his own, he couldn’t deal with it anymore. so days were spent with him sulking.

the sunlight that came in, it wasn’t welcoming-- and those covers moved to shield his eyes, a silent groan of displeasure leaving the former swimmers throat and that figure tensed, bunching the covers above him. it was a silent plea to ask makoto to go away, to leave him for the day and cerulean orbs opened to stare tiredly at nothing in particular.

yamazekis

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rei--ryuugazaki

makoto texted him earlier after dropping him off from therapy that rei would be picking him up. apparently the emerald eyed male had a class assignment he forgot about and needed to meet up with his classmates to work on it. phone in his lap, haru stay outside the building assuring his therapist he would be fine and someone would come to get him, even if it was outside of the norm. and soon, that someone was in sight, and it made haru smile a little bit, but it quickly turned into that straight faced gaze he usually had on.

#reiryuugazaki #i didnt know what to tag you as sdfgh

xnitori

how he had managed to get here by himself was beyond him. rin wasn’t here, no one was here to stop him from trying to go into the water again. hands tensed against the handles of his chair as he stared at his reflection in the chlorine filled pool. everything hurt to be honest, everything was always so painful, haru hated it. and soon, a hand was on his shoulder, he barely noticed anyone behind him-- and that caused him to jump.

#xnitori #i hope this is okay

smilesofsunset

physical therapy was hard for haru. not only did it make muscles sore, but it was also draining mentally. all he wanted to do was lay in bed forever and forget everything. but today, he knew he was going to have to go. makoto would make him. he had skipped too many times already. he bunched the covers up over his head when he heard the door from the bathroom open. makoto was done with his shower, so that meant he would come wake him up now. it was like a routine. he stubbornly let out a silent sigh as he heard those familiar steps coming over to his side of the bed. he didn’t even want to think about anything right now.

#smilesofsunset #hello!!

tinyswimmernagisa

oceanic optics watched as the blonde continued to pour those sugary filled treats into the basket currently on his lap. how he got suckered into this he didn’t know, but with makoto being away with classes, nagisa was the closest that haru trusted with him. he said something about staying out the whole day in order to try to cheer up the wheelchaired male. but he kept quiet as usual, watching ahead of him as nagisa pushed through the aisles. and soon, so much was in that small handbasket, that it was filled to the top. and with things haru wasn’t really interested in eating.

‘ this ones full. ‘ he spoke, his voice low, maybe nagisa heart him, maybe he didn’t. a silent sigh. all he wanted to do was stay home, but his friend had other things in mind.

#tinyswimmernagisa #hello!!

matsuokalamna

‘ rin. ‘ haru spoke, his voice quiet as he watched the remainder of the samezukas teammates make their way back to the lockers to change. practice was over for them, but haru had stayed with them through the entirety of it because of the promise that the red head would take him in the pool. he always had to have someone with him. and haru grew quieter as that chance grew closer and closer. he trusted rin. trusted him like he trusted anyone else. like he trusted rei, nagisa, and even makoto. a nervous swallowed as he watched the taller start to break his wheelchair. and haru tensed.

what if he wasn’t ready, what if rin let him go. what if . . . hands grabbed onto the handles.

‘ w-wait. ‘ he panicked before the other could pick him up to carry him into the water.

#matsuokalamna #hello i hope this is okay!!

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[text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.

Nagisa was asleep at this hour. For him on a weekend, it was pretty early. But he soon woke up when he heard his phone vibrate. Lazily, his arm reach for his phone and looked at who texted him. It was Haru.

{text}: haru-chan! sure, of course! what do you need?

He texted with one hand as he tried to change out of his pajamas in a rush, so the text took longer than needed to type and send out.

swimdepriveddolphin

he didn’t really think it was much of a big deal. he had fallen many times before, but this was one of those times where he couldn’t reach his wheelchair. mackerel was needed when haru was hungry. but he underestimated his weight and missed his chair after trying to hoist himself up to the counter using his arms.

‘ [text] i just fell it’s nothing bad. don’t rush if you don’t have to. ‘ he quickly pressed the send button and sighed. he hated asking for help. makoto was in class, and he couldn’t bother him for something like this,