(This is for like monster people and Au’s, not something like a person so horrible they’ve become a monster)
“Hey you got your feathers all through my jacket again!”
“Did you just…eat that mouse…?”
“I just ate a mouse and I feel sick”
“Stop chasing your tail, your a grown (man/women/adult)”
“I know you love me but please let go of me, I can’t breathe”
“Jesus your a lot taller then I thought you were”
“Are you…making a nest? Why?”
“Do you need help putting your contact in?”
“What’s it like only having one eye?”
“So if your stomach has a mouth does that mean it eats too?”
“Your pointy ears are adorable”
“Please don’t steal my soul, I have class in like an hour and the soul stealing thing takes all day”
“Stop scratching the couch oh my god”
“Screw you I’m gonna scratch the couch if I want to”
“Please stop touching the light bulb, I know it’s pretty but you keep hurting yourself”
“Hey can you help me find my (body part)”
“Do you need help looking for (body part)”
“Hey I’ve lost my body! Help me look for it before it does something stupid!”
“Why are you eating catnip?”
“I just ate catnip and can’t feel my legs”
“Hey throw the toy I wanna catch it!”
“I don’t want to throw the toy…ugh fine give it here”
“I know it’s supposed to be cold today but the sun is out and if I go outside I’m probably going to catch on fire”
“I can make snow from my hands! Wanna see?!”
“Wow you can use magic?! Can you teach me!?”
“I know I’m not supposed to like a human, but I’ll make an exception because your cute”
“I just wanna tie you up in my web and cuddle you forever!”
“I need water, I’m getting dehydrated and I’m starting to smell like dead fish”
“I accidentally got slime all over your wall when I tried to kill a fly…I’m sorry”
“Hey it’s okay, it’s just a bit of slime”
“I accidentally set your clothes on fire when I was trying to fold them”
“Hey scratch my ear it’s itchy and you don’t have claws”
“I may or may not have got fur all over your couch when me and (random name) where playing”
“I accidentally broke your door and I’m sorry but maybe get a stronger door next time”
“This is the sixth door this month, stop slamming them please”
“Is it rude to ask if I could ride on you back?”
“What do you mean you want to ride me? I’m not a horse, well I mean, I’m not THAT kind of horse”
“How do you stop yourself from decaying? I mean, you are kinda dead after all”
“What’s it like having six tails?”
“Here, sit down and I’ll brush your wings”
“How did you get flees? Oh well time for a bath huh?”
“I wanna cuddle but I’m kinda scared I’ll crush you, so maybe you just sit in my lap and I hold you?”
“Hey I’m thirsty can I have some of your blood? Just to hold me off until we get home”
“Hey can you turn on the air conditioning? I know it’s like twenty degrees but I think I’m gonna melt”
“Hey pay attention to me! I want love!”
“I came here to get your soul but honestly I feel like if I take it, it’ll just Make me sad”
“Please take my Soul I’m so depressed”
“So I may or may not have accidentally broke my neck when I feel off the roof sooo, surprise! I’m a ghost now”
jbbartram-illu
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