I'm really enjoying this book Wrath Goddess Sing, which dares to ask "what would it be like if all of history was built atop transfeminine rage"

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@syngirl
I'm really enjoying this book Wrath Goddess Sing, which dares to ask "what would it be like if all of history was built atop transfeminine rage"
finished reading Wrath Goddess Sing! I was enjoying it before but the entire latter half of the story really had me hooked, i read it all in one day! What a really cool book. It got very anime in how the sort of divine fates played out in ways i won’t spoil, but was very fun and creative—i would recommend the book to those who enjoyed works like She Who Became the Sun, or Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix series —with the alternating between ordinary human relationships and lives with creative and action-packed supernatural stakes. I’ll write a proper review later maybe if I remember but I also made the graphic above to try to explain my impressions…
I came in expecting a bog-standard "X but trans" story, and now 80% in it's like I'm experiencing an acid trip created for me specifically.
some random sketches! im really loving having post it notes, there is something so satisfying about having these little neat squares to do 1 (one) little sketch on
the first four are character for a project from @syngirl which shes still working on and she was kind enough to let me see early drafts of!
the second is a little jenny sketch i had to do for reasons that will become clear son enough
and the last one is yinglet me again
If you want to have some fun while I'm writing this, guess which one's the boy.
OP theaverycottage on TikTok ♡
The brotherhood of Flintwood
(this is not so much a story id be interested in telling as much as it is me trying to figure out how this concept would look like)
here is the concept: the genderswapped, forcemasc version of the sisters of dorley.
intead of england it takes place in america, instead of a college dorm its a summer camp, instead of turning boys into girls it turns women into men.
the premise is that Flintwood camp, set somewhere in northwestern united states, maybe oregon or washington, is a retirement camp for young women centered around "feminist self empowerment". women go there to learn useful life skills and learn to become more self assured, more confident and more independent. it's presented as some kind of new age type spiritual retirement mixed with survivalist workshops.
in this camp you learn to fish, hunt, cook food you yourself caught, personal defense, weapon handling, fixing vehicles, and doing general repairs around the house. these are all sold as "essential life skills for the self reliant modern woman".
you see, much like how in dorley its central philosophy is "patriarchy teaches men to be abusive and agressive and violent and misoginistic which is why we have to turn them into women", in here the central philosophy is "patriarchy teaches women to be helpless obedient victims, which is why we have to turn them into men", which sounds just as ridiculous so we're not skipping a beat here.
the camp targets precisely women who keep getting caught in cycles of abuse, women who could not break up from their abusive boyfriends no matter how much their friends and family kept begging them to, women who came from abusive households and are too traumatized and beaten down to ever stand up for themselves, women who are stuck in loveless relationships with some powerful husband who keeps them as a glorified washing machine at home.
its staff is composed of exclusively male camp counselors who all seem to be a bit shorter than average, all are rather muscular and rugged and they all have surprisingly kind eyes. they work under the orders of their leader, commander armstrong, a grizzled old man who looks like a mix between santa claus, king leonidas and the unabomber.
his story is that he was forged in an earlier camp, a nastier version of camp flintwood, a place that was similar to hustlers university by andrew tate, a toxic, monstrous place that taught men how to abuse women and get away with it, this place would churn through dozens of women (who would get trafficked in) every year. they would function as the guinea pigs and training examples for the male recruits. eventually one of the women managed to organize the other prisoners into staging a revolt, take control of the armory and murder all the men there. the lesson she learned is that clearly the only way the world respects someone is through strength, force and violence and that if patriarchy favors men, then that is what they would become to survive, that is when he became commander armstrong.
now a days, under armstrongs command, participation in the camp is voluntary, they dont actually kidnap people here, you have to register into the camp and go there to live in the woods for 3 years out of your own choice. they only get recruits by word of mouth, they try not to advertise their existence to the world and you can only get in by invite. if you accept to join you are not supposed to tell anyone about it and soon enough a team of handlers will show up and explain to the relatives/partners/guardians that the woman won a "shared time" or a "cruise trip" for one and that she will be gone for a month on vacation.
but the longer you stay in the camp the longer you start to discover what might be considered a sort of cultish vibe to it all. picture Midsummar or wicker man, or perhaps more fittingly the recent movie Him, you know how cults looks. there are lots of weird rituals, hierarchies, social control, peer pressure, etc. the point is that unlike dorley where a lot of the intial cohertion is physical (locking you in a cell, tasers, beatings, etc) in here is all subtle emotional manipulation up front, never letting you know that manipulation is even taking place, and things only start getting physical later as you advance through the program.
but all of this only happens after you passed the intial loyalty test, when you show that you are commited to the program, that you are willing to go to any lengths to improve and become stronger. that is when the "vitamin injections" begin. this is supposed to happen a month in, if by that point you dont pass the test you go back to you life after your "vacation" ended.
those who actually do stay are never heard of again.
every new intake gets assigned a big brother. his role is to be pushy, forceful, annoying and intrusive. you might think that subjecting a traumatized woman to the harassement of some guy might be counterproductive but the point is that the big brother is supposed to push without breaking. he will harass his recruit to foster resentment that is supposed to eventually boil over into actual defiance. the turning point in the program for a new recruit is when they finally snap and fight back or stand up in some way to their big brother. (there is a lot of murder attempts involved, being a big brother requires a lot of special training and willingness to put oneself in harms way). that is the foundation whereupon they build a new man.
as the program continues it slowly loses its hippy dippy trappings and it starts to resemble more and more an actual military training barrack. again, this is only after the recruits have been slowly brainwashed and gaslit into "consenting" with every step of the program. as you advance the recruits keep getting taken to new more isolated parts of the park where the real training into manhood begins.
the recruits are put into all kinds of physical and survival tests with the guidance of their big brother whom by this point should take on more of a "brother in arms" role. its all very spartan, all very generation kill, with just a hint of brokeback mountain maybe. constantly told to "suck it up" and "man up". if you remember the scene where maria grabs aaron by the face and tells him "you are going to be so very beautiful" then imagine some dude grabbing a butch looking lady by the scruff of her neck, forehead against forehead, both sweaty after a training session telling her "you will be so fucking strong".
at this point the gaslighting still continues, convincing the recuit that the new smells they are producing and the new hair and the new muscle mass is all due to the diet and the exposure to the elements. the recruits are encouraged to fraternize, to wrestle with each other, to bust each others balls, etc. there is also a lot of emphasis in healthy masculinity, in men as protectors, to never abuse those who are weaker than you, about standing up for the defenseless, etc.
eventually the final test comes, the mastectomy. they do have to agree to it to prove that they are no longer weaklings, that they are no longer victims, that they are no longer women. if the big brothers did their job right the recruit will agree, will pick a new name and badabing badabom, you got a new man.
they are given a new id, a backpack with the essentials, some tools, papers and are dropped in some small town in the middle of nowhere to forge their new life, or they can choose to stay and train the next generation.
and this is how this place has been operating for the last 15 years until one day a very sad girl who is really a trans man in denial starts investigating about the misterious dissapearance of his cousin...
so, an absolute genius decided to pick up what i was putting down and its moments like this that make me recover my faith in the capacity for humans to understand each other, check it out:
lets all give a hand to @syngirl for being an amazing writer and for making me feel understood.
of goodwill toward all women and kimmykind
a kimmy version of this post and an excerpt from a loose grouping of stories i’m calling an anthology
under the cut. i think it's good. robot liberation now!
I told myself I wouldn't become known solely for writing a trans Tintin fanfic, and then proceeded to post almost nothing here save for said trans Tintin fanfic.
It's time for an Animorphs revival
As a Gen-Zer, Animorphs is so fascinating to me. As a child in the early-to-mid 2010s I knew Goosebumps and Babysitters' Club reasonably well, and I had my Harry Potter phase like everyone else, regrettable as it may be now, but you're telling me that in the middle, there was a craze of relatively similar scale for a series on a sci-fi guerilla war fought by kids who can graphically morph into animals with tons of worryingly mature themes of war, invasion, identity and fluid morality? And it was also written by a woman who is a staunch queer ally? And despite this I barely hear any references to it nowadays and it's apparently so unpopular Scholastic hasn't republished it in over a decade? I read way too much middle-grade and YA between ages 10-14, and while these never crossed my radar, I just know given my fascination for what was essentially tf content I would've read these to death. Heck, I may have known myself better and more healthily if these were part of my literary canon. Can anybody who was around at the time tell me why Animorphs has been so thoroughly buried when the magical British class propaganda is still read by every 11 year-old I meet?
Girl Tintin
I think it says way too much about me that this is what got me to write in French again. Read the images clockwise from the left
He had worn many an awkward costume for a mission. Yet it wasn't the South American cabin boy, the Japanese general or even the medieval armor that bothered him the most. It was simply himself, but dressed in a skirt, blouse and cardigan, that stirred his mind. Tintin was normally a fairly analytical person, his inner voice tirelessly typing whenever he wasn’t, but now, when he needed it more than ever, it was silent. In this logical void that crossdressing had created, his thoughts, fond of connections, only managed to make one: the times he had already had the same feeling. With equal parts horror, fascination and catharsis, he thought about that dense and heavy warmth that lined his mind. How many times it had appeared without ever being recognized. His love of marbles when he was a kid, motivated not by the simulacrum of gambling that so captivated his classmates, but by a fascination with his mother’s jewelry that he could only respond to through this pastime suitable for a boy. His intense desire to write a report on feminist groups in Brussels, a desire which was blocked by an unusual social malaise. His meeting with his physician, who had diagnosed him with a testosterone deficiency as indicated by his lack of body hair and velvety skin.
“There are treatments for your condition you know, your appearance must be horribly embarrassing for a man your age.” the doctor reassured him.
Yet he never felt any need to “cure” his condition. He admires himself in the mirror, and has to admit that this appearance is at the very least pragmatic, just the clothes are enough to pass for the new secretary of the Syldavian embassy. He pets Snowy to calm down, he too seems captivated by his master's appearance. Tintin always had a suspicion that his dog knew more than him, too bad he couldn't express it.
The Captain waits for him at the entrance to the locker room, and cannot suppress a sailor's whistle at his appearance. Tintin blushes, obviously, but he takes the time to contemplate his friend. He knows that their relationship drew its strength from their differences, but this was the first time he considered the physical dimension. This strong, bearded and rough old sailor is a model of male morphology, unlike him. There is little time for anatomical analysis though, the political issue is the immediate priority. However, when boarding the streetcar, a striking observation forms in the reporter's mind: he prefers his immediate feminine appearance to a masculine ideal.
Blistering Barnacles! This illiterate postman has once again delivered the Cutts’s trash to us!
It is rather the Captain who is illiterate, for he did not notice that the few women's magazines he had in his hands were addressed not to Miss Margaret Cutts, but indeed Tintin. The Syldavian diplomatic crisis resolved, he returned with Snowy to his library in Moulinsart to bury himself in the pile of books, dissertations and articles that he accumulated on his desk, a necessary relaxation at the end of any adventure. Tintin is hardly picky with his reading choices, and so in the middle of the mountain of political, historical, geographical and linguistic literature essential to his journalism, there were Miss Cutts’s girls’ magazines which were found in the Moulinsart mailbox. The first evening of his reading period was dedicated to finally reading these rags so innocuous but so threatening. The very next day he subscribed to all the publishers he could find before making a trip to town to obtain more serious literature. The following week, he put on his best feminine voice to order clothes over the phone.
He does not yet have a real mental conception of this desire within him, he simply responds to a joy that is just as, if not more fundamental than a successful report or a resolved adventure. Fortunately for him, there is no question of taming capricious sources or risking an international incident. All he has to do is put on red striped sports shorts and a matching tank top, then admire himself in the mirror he had installed in his room. His fingers run through his flowing hair, which now reaches his shoulders. For as much as his quiff was a recognized aspect of his public image, the searing synthesis of resentments for his appearance that he had carried out had come to the same conclusion as his marbles. He didn't like the quiff on its own as much as it was a substitute for the hairstyle he never had. The symptom of a series of trying events that he had never treated out of contempt for the barber. Slightly trendy hair like he has now may be less memorable, but it's who he really is. He takes Snowy and holds him at eye level. He licks his cheeks happily, prompting an even wider smile from his owner.
The first time he left his room wearing his new wardrobe, he had done everything not to attract the attention of his friends. Now he exits through the main entrance, his posture tall, his expression confident. Haddock looks up from his newspaper in emphatic astonishment
What goes on Tintin? You only needed to disguise yourself as a lady once, but this is the third time you've gone out like this!
Tintin, hand on hip, only responds with a flirtatious smile. He walks into the hall, but the cavernous acoustics of the mansion allow him to hear the Captain speaking to Nestor.
I swear, since she, sorry, he put on that skirt, something has come over this kid. I adore him Nestor, he is my anchor and so much more,, but I no longer know how to approach him. I worry about him and his loneliness, but at the same time I have the impression of witnessing the birth of something big in him.
Change is the only constant, sir.
Tintin listens closer
I think he who spent his whole life sailing on a lake just discovered the ocean Nestor.
A new whirlwind of emotion seizes Tintin. Not just the Captain's unusually touching words, but his mistake. A truth found in Whiskey no doubt. She. Steps becoming lighter and more assertive, he or she heads towards Professor Calculus’s garden, their favorite place to meditate, contemplate and sunbathe. He is there, still pruning his roses when he notices the visitor
Good day madam! He exclaims.
They lie down on the grass, her well-groomed skin exposed to the sensations of spring. She. Madam. It was obvious, one that she had continued to deny. Not anymore. Under the shade of the rose bushes, she had found the solution to this riddle.
It was always helpful to have a renowned scientist in your social circle. It took him a few weeks to come to terms with his friend's real identity, not out of social rejection, simply because he sincerely believed that the real change was abandoning a career in journalism to go play tennis. Once he understood, the Professor called a Danish medical institute that he had learned of during a conference, and they accepted the new patient. Her papers, but above all, her loved ones call her Justine. The psychological reality clarified, her condition was no longer a defect, but an asset. She would be a perfect candidate, with minimal treatment required. A few prescriptions and a year later, she really needed to wear a bra, among many other changes..
It wasn’t just his strengths that were important, of course. She spent long hours in the living room chatting with Haddock, Snowy asleep on her lap. They discussed all the things they had never known how to tell each other, from Haddock's difficult childhood, to Justine's regret for her colonialist journalism, the Captain's worst years at sea, then the trauma she experienced from her consecutive adventures. Haddock admitted that he was homosexual, and that his affection for Justine extended to that dimension. He knew it wasn't appropriate, but was also too upset to admit it. Justine has no romantic interest, but thanked the Captain for always loving her for who she is.
Haddock wasn't the only one opened up by Justine's transformation. It was with great nervousness that she had sent a letter to Tchang going in depth about her thoughts and feelings. They managed to connect an international line, and the phone bill the following month nearly gave the Captain a heart attack. Despite their distance, Tchang had always been her greatest confidant, and the insights he provided for her were immense. He once spent an entire evening reading lines of Tao poetry and discussing them with her, finding solace in their reflections on inner peace beyond gender and the material world. There was also plenty of giggling and enjoying each others’ company. He hinted he might move to Europe for further education, and she could not be happier about it.
Most surprising of renewed relationships turned out to be the Castafiore. She proved to be much more comfortable with other women, and thus was incredibly generous and wise towards the unknowns of her new protégé. It took a few rough months, but thanks to the hairdressers, tailors, etiquette teachers and even just the social environments recommended by the singer, Justine had made up for the years she hadn't lived as herself.
She’s a little anxious, but she knows she’s ready. Trendy red skirt, flattering sweater, flirty necklace and armband, she is exactly who she wants to be, and the confidence she feels is palpable. She tightens her ponytail, it's now 11 o'clock sharp. She enters the office of Gérard Pelletier, her first lead in a story of questionable aerial activity in the Canadian Arctic. The stocky man looks at her. An amiable smile appears.
“Miss Justine, a pleasure to meet you!”
The anticipation of Justine's first adventure is mind-boggling.
“Smile for the camera!”
Justine, in a vain mood, wonders which is more dazzling, the flash, or her? She is right to think so. The bouffant golden hair, the sparkling eyes, the magnetic smile, her picturesque silhouette, all dressed in a low-cut mini dress and matching high heels in “blizzard” white, a journalist's portrait has rarely been so stylish. Haddock made fun of her friend a little, asking her if it was a photo session for an international scandal or a gossip column in Paris-Match. Justine is not naive, she knows just as well that such a getup is inappropriate for the arrest of a group of airborne polar mercenaries led by Dr. Müller, which is why the high fashion shoot would be a whole small black and white box at the end of the article. The real attraction was the original photo, which would go into Justine's private possession.
Of course, it's not all flattering photos, Justine's new life had its own challenges. It's difficult to be taken seriously by ne'er-do-wells when you're an attractive young woman, especially when your very existence is a known story and a bit of a scandal in its own right. Fortunately, all this is minimized by Justine's experience with these types of folks, and the Captain's promise to rough up those who wouldn’t keep their mouths shut. Despite the intense atmosphere of the studio, Justine is calm. The few old photos of her that exist are so formal, so uncomfortable. Justine is beautiful, and she will flaunt it, even if it means indulging her unscrupulous editor to have professional risqué photographs taken of her.
So many pleasantries in this Polynesian villa, for a panorama of the elite is present at this party, their tailored jackets and dresses replaced by ridiculous Hawaiian shorts and swimsuits as garish as they are diminutive. The relaxed atmosphere hides the shared truth: they are all criminals, celebrating their host Armando Biancana's ingenious plan, a revolution in the activities of European organized crime. French, Italians, Irish, English, Greeks, Spanish, Turks, Georgians, Bordurians, all will send their money to one of Biancana’s many Pacific islands, thus increasing their profits and Armando’s. So far from the authorities, he will be invulnerable. Sicily, the south, then all of Italy will bow to his financial power. With victory assured, prosecco is abundant on the idyllic beach.
The hole in the plan is the only guest present who doesn't seem ecstatic. Unlike all the other women present, she is not dressed in a pop art atrocity, but a sky blue one-piece swimsuit of distinguished elegance. With wine at her lips, lying parallel to the pool, her shapely thighs invite eager glances from almost everyone present, regardless of gender. Who is this looker? No one dares to ask her.
A subtle peripheral glance to check that there are no more admirers, she draws a pistol from her handbag and turns towards the crowd. Both her glare and her gun are aimed at Armando.
“Hands up!”
Being all professional criminals, a single armed woman shouldn't be so intimidating, but they are also rather drunk, and the leader, Armando is sobbing. It was she who had determined his place of residence, it was she who had stolen these important documents, it was she who had sent the letter suggesting this reception. The Interpol speedboats are rushing towards the beach, his empire has foundered. All because of that stupid girl with her nose in his business.
The criminals are now on their way to the cellular plane to Paris, and there is only Justine, the Thompsons and a few police officers still on the beach.
“Miss Justine, this arrest was exquisitely beautiful.”
“I would even say more, this arrest was of a bequisitely exutiful.”
A smile forms on her face, ah those Thompsons.
“We are no longer needed for the operation, our boat will leave soon.”
They both pull on their collars, both soaked with.
“We should have learned our lesson after Khemed Thompson.”
“I would even say more, we should have learned our khesson after Lemed Thomson.”
Justine allowed a giggle.
“Do what you have to do, given I’m appropriately dressed, I have something left to do here.”
She waves them goodbye, and can't help but laugh again when they both trip over the same seaweed. It is at this same moment that Snowy comes out of his hiding place, happy to run on the sand. Justine kneels next to him.
“Do you also want to enjoy the tropics, my dear Snowy?”
He barks to affirm, receiving pets from her.
"Me too"
With bare feet, a bathing suit glistening in the sun and her hair reaching the middle of her back, she walks towards the water, as turquoise as her outfit. It’s been 10 years since she last swam for fun. 10 years since she could allow herself to be happy. Besides the adventure and the attention, the real journey she experienced was to relearn how to live without limits. That she no longer needed to stop herself from these things that she had thought impossible. Her friends, her fashion, her appearance, her hobbies, her social life, all rediscovered with her true identity. Compared to these radical transformations, there is little practical importance to recreational swimming. Right now it is simply a conclusion. There would always be pitfalls in her life, but none as big as the lie that had imprisoned her. The days of doing so much without distinction are over. She dives beneath the waves and admires her weightless self, her body perfect in the sunlight. A wave of euphoria takes hold of her. This simple observation is worth more than walking on the moon.
Je m'excuse pour tout les Français continentaux, je suis incapable de complétement retirer mon accent québécois, donc j'espère que vous allez apprécier une Tintin transatlantique.
Il avait enfilé un grand nombre de costumes gênants pour une mission. Pourtant ce n’était pas le valet Sud-Américain, le général Japonais ou même l’armure médiévale qui le dérangeait le plus. C’était simplement lui-même, mais habillé d’une jupe, blouse et petite laine qui agitait son esprit. Tintin était normalement une personne assez analytique, doté d’une voix interne qui tapait sans cesse pour remplir le silence, mais maintenant, quand il n’en avait plus besoin que jamais, elle était silencieuse. Dans ce vide logique que le fait d’être travesti incitait, ses pensées friandes de connections ne parvenaient qu'à en faire une: les fois qu’il a déjà eu le même sentiment. Avec autant d’horreur que de fascination et de résolution émotionnelle, il a pensé à cette chaleur lourde et dense qui tapissait son esprit. Elle s’était manifestée de nombreuses fois sans jamais avoir été reconnue. Son amour des billes quand il était gamin, motivé non pas par ce simulacre du pari qui passionait tant ses camarades de classe, mais par une fascination pour les bijoux de sa mère et autres femmes qu’ils ne pouvait répondre que par ce passe-temps approprié pour lui. Son intense désir d’écrire un reportage sur les groupes féministes de Bruxelle, désir qui était bloqué par un malaise social inusité. Sa rencontre avec son physicien, qui l’avait diagnostiqué d’une carence en testostérone indiqué par son absence de pilosité corporelle et sa peau veloutée.
Il existe des traitements pour votre condition vous savez, votre apparence doit être horriblement vexante pour un homme de votre âge. lui a rassuré le docteur.
Pourtant, il n’a jamais ressenti aucun besoin de “soigner” sa condition. Il s’admire le miroir, et doit admettre que cette apparence est pragmatique, rien que les vêtements suffisent pour se passer pour la nouvelle secrétaire de l'ambassade Syldave. Il flatte Milou pour se calmer, lui aussi semble captivé par l'apparence de son maître. Tintin a toujours eu un soupçon que son chien savait plus que lui, dommage qu’il ne puisse l’exprimer…
Le Capitaine l'attend à l’entrée du vestiaire, et ne parvient pas à retenir un sifflement de matelot à son apparence. Tintin rougit, évidemment, mais il prend le temps de contempler son ami. Il sait que leur relation puisait sa force de leur différends, mais c’était la première fois qu’il considérait la dimension physique. Ce vieux marin costaud, barbu et rauque est le modèle de la morphologie masculine. Il y a peu de temps pour la critique anatomique, l’enjeu politique est la priorité immédiate. En embarquant sur le tram par contre, un constat percutant se forme dans l’esprit du reporter: il préfére son apparence féminine immédiate à un idéal masculin.
“Tonnerre de Brest! Ce facteur analphabète nous a encore livré les détritus des Sanzots!”
C’est plutôt le Capitaine qui est analphabète, car il n’a pas remarqué que les quelques magazines pour femmes qu’il a dans les mains étaient adressés non pas à mademoiselle Mireille Sanzot, mais bel et bien Tintin. La crise diplomatique Syldave résolue, il est retourné avec Milou dans sa bibliothèque à Moulinsart pour s’enfouir dans la pile de livres, dissertations et articles qu’il accumulait sur son bureau, une détente nécessaire à la fin de n’importe quelle aventure. Tintin n'est guère difficile avec ses choix de lecture, et c’est ainsi qu’au milieu de la montagne de littérature politique, historique, géographique et linguistique essentielle à son journalisme, il y avait les quelques magazines de Mlle Sanzot qui s’étaient retrouvés dans la boîte postale de Moulinsart. Le premier soir de sa période de lecture était dédié à finalement lire ces chiffons si anodins mais si menaçants. Le lendemain même il s’était abonné à tous les éditeurs qu’il pouvait trouver avant de faire un périple en ville pour se procurer des bouquins plus sérieux. La semaine suivante, il s’affublait de sa meilleure voix féminine pour commander des vêtements par téléphone.
Il n’a pas encore une vraie conception mentale de ce désir en lui, il répond simplement à une joie tout aussi sinon pas plus foncière qu’un reportage réussi ou une aventure résolue. Heureusement pour lui, il n’est pas question d’apprivoiser des sources capricieuses ou de risquer un incident international. Il lui faut tout simplement enfiler des shorts sportifs rayés rouge et une camisole assortie, puis s’admirer dans le miroir qu’il avait fait installer dans sa chambre. Ses doigts dégagent ses cheveux ruisselants qui lui atteignent les épaules. Pour autant que sa couette était un aspect reconnu de son image publique, la synthèse fulgurante des ressentiments pour son apparence qu’il avait effectué comprenait la même réalisation que ses billes. Il n’aimait pas autant la couette par elle-même qu’en tant qu’un ersatz pour la coiffure qu’il n’avait jamais eu. Le symptôme d’une série d’événements éprouvants qu’il n’avait jamais soigné par mépris pour le barbier. Une chevelure légèrement tendance tel qu’il a maintenant est certes moins mémorable, mais c’est qui il est réellement. Il prend Milou et le tient à la hauteur de ses yeux. Il lui lèche les joues avec joie, ce qui incite un sourire encore plus prononcé chez son maître.
La première fois qu’il est sorti de ses loges tel habillé, il avait tout fait pour ne pas attirer le regard de ses amis. Maintenant, il sort par l’entrée principale, la posture haute, l’expression confiante. Haddock lève les yeux de son journal avec étonnement emphatique
“Que va t’il Tintin? Tu t'es déguisé en dame il y a deux mois, c’est maintenant la troisième fois que tu sort ainsi!”
Tintin, la main à la hanche, lui répond que d’un sourir coquet. Il s’avance dans le hall, mais l’acoustique caverneuse du manoir lui permet d’entendre le Capitaine s’exprimer à Nestor.
“Je te jure, depuis qu’elle, pardon, il a enfilé cette jupe, il y a quelque chose qui a piqué ce gamin. Je l’adore Nestor, il est mon ancre dans les vagues houleuses de mon existence, mais je ne sais plus comment l’approcher. Je m’inquiète pour lui et sa solitude, mais en même temps j’ai l’impression d’assister à la naissance de quelque chose de gros en ce flibustier.”
“Le changement est l’unique constant Monsieur.”
Tintin tend l’oreil plus près
“Je pense que celui qui a passé toute sa vie à naviguer sur un lac à découvert l’océan Nestor.”
Un nouveau maelstrom d’émotion s’empare de Tintin. Non pas seulement les paroles inhabituellement touchantes du Capitaine, mais son erreur. Une vérité trouvée dans le Whisky sans doute. Elle. Le pas de plus en plus léger et affirmé, il, ou elle se dirige vers le jardin du Professeur Tournesol, sont lieu préféré pour méditer, contempler et se bronzer. Il est là, toujours en train de tailler ses roses. Il remarque le visiteur
Bonjour madame! Il s’exclame.
Y se couche dans le gazon, la peau soignée exposée aux sensations printanières. Elle. Madame. C’était une évidence, une qu’elle avait continué de nier. Plus maintenant. Sous l’ombre des rosiers, elle avait trouvé la solution à cette énigme.
Il était toujours utile d’avoir un scientifique renommé dans sa sphère sociale. Il lui a fallu quelques semaines pour apprivoiser la réelle identité de son amie, non pas par refus social, simplement car il croyait sincèrement que le vrai changement était l’abandon d’une carrière de journaliste pour aller jouer au tennis. Une fois qu’il avait compris, le Professeur à appelé un institut médical Danois qu’il avait pris connaissance pendant une conférence, et ils ont accepté cette nouvelle patiente. Ses papiers, mais surtout, ses personnes chères l'appellent Justine. La réalité psychologique clarifiée, sa condition n’était plus un défaut, mais un atout. Elle serait une candidate parfaite, un traitement minimum étant nécessaire. Quelques prescriptions et une année plus tard, elle avait réellement besoin de porter un soutien gorge.
Il n’y avait pas que ses atouts d’important bien sûr. Elle a passé de longues heures dans le salon à discuter avec Haddock, Milou endormi sur ses genoux. Ils ont décerné toutes les vérités qu’ils n’avaient jamais sû se dire, de l’enfance difficile de Haddock, au regret de Justine pour son journalisme colonialiste, les pires années du Capitaine sur mer, puis le traumatisme qu’elle vivait de ses aventures consécutives. Haddock a admit qu’il était homosexuel, et que son affection pour Justine s’étendait sur cette dimension. Il savait que ce n’était pas approprié, mais était aussi trop vexé pour l’admettre. Justine n’a aucun intérêt romantique, mais a remercié le Capitaine pour l’avoir toujours aimée pour qui elle est.
Haddock n’était pas le seul ouvert par la transformation de Justine. C’est avec beaucoup d’appréhension qu’il a envoyé une lettre à Tchang pour lui expliquer les quelques derniers mois. Ils ont ouvert une connection internationale, et le mois suivant la Capitaine a failli avoir une crise cardiaque quand il a vu la facture téléphonique. Malgré leur distance, Tchang a toujours été l’ami préféré de Justine pour se confier, et ainsi, les perspectives et pensées qu’il a partagé avec elle étaient profondément rassurantes. Ils ont dédié une soirée à lire des extraits de poésie Taoiste, ceux-ci très appréciés par Justine pour leur promulgation de la paix intérieur au-delà du genre et du monde matériel. Il y avait aussi plusieurs soirées dédiées à se partager des histoires rigolotes et apprécier le temps passé. Tchang à indiqué qu’il voulait déménager en Europe pour continuer ses études, et Justine était au septième ciel.
La plus surprenante des amitiés renouvelées était sans doute la Castafiore. Celle-ci s'avère beaucoup plus confortable avec d’autres femmes, et ainsi a été incroyablement généreuse et sage envers les inconnus de sa nouvelle protégée. Il a fallu quelques rudes mois, mais grâce aux coiffeurs, tailleurs, enseignants d’étiquette et même juste les environnements sociaux recommandés par la chanteuse, Justine avait rattrapé les années qu’elle n’avait pas vécues comme elle-même.
Elle a le trac, mais elle sait qu’elle était prête. Jupe rouge dernière tendance, chandail seyant, collier et brassard coquets, elle est exactement qui elle veut être, et la confiance qu’elle ressent est palpable. Elle resserre sa queue de cheval, puis il est 11 heures pile. Elle rentre dans le bureau de Gérard Pelletier, sa première piste dans une histoire d’activité aérienne douteuse dans l’arctique Canadien. L’homme trapu la dévisage. Ses lèvres s’étendent.
“Mademoiselle Justine, ravie de vous rencontrer!”
L’anticipation de la première aventure de Justine est ahurissante.
“On sourit pour la caméra!”
Justine, d'humeur vaniteuse, se demande qu’est-ce qui est plus éblouissant, le flash, ou elle? Elle a raison de penser ainsi. Les cheveux dorés bouffant, les yeux étincelants, le sourire magnétique, la silhouette d’un tracé splendide, le tout habillé d’une mini jupe décolletée et de talons haut assortis d’un blanc “blizzard,” le portrait d’une (ou d’un) journaliste avait rarement été aussi stylé. Haddock s’est un peu moqué de son amie, lui demandant si c’était une session photo pour un scandale international ou une rubrique de ragots dans Paris-Match. Justine n’est pas naïve, elle sait tout aussi bien qu’un tel montage est inapproprié pour l’arrestation d’un groupe de mercenaires polaires aéroportés menés par Dr. Müller, c’est pour cela que la prise haute mode serait un tout petit encadré noir et blanc à la fin de l’article. Le vrai attrait était le cliché original, qui irait en possession privée de Justine.
Évidemment, ce n’est pas que des photos flatteuses, la nouvelle vie de Justine avait ses propres défis. Difficile de se faire prendre au sérieux par des militaires durcis quand on est une jeune femme attrayante, surtout quand son existence-même est une histoire connue et un peu un scandale par soi-même. Heureusement, tout ceci est minimisé par l’expérience de Justine avec des malfaisants, et la promesse du Capitaine de casser la gueule de ceux qui ne savent cesser leur discours. Malgré l’atmosphère intense du studio, Justine est calme. Les quelques vieilles photos d’elle qui existent sont si formelles, si inconfortables. Justine est belle, et elle va l’exprimer, même si elle indulge son éditeur sans scrupules pour avoir des photographies professionnelles…
Que de plaisanteries à cette villa Polynésienne, un panorama de l’élite est présent à cette fête, leurs vestons et robes sur mesure remplacées par des board shorts ridicules et des maillots tout aussi criards qu’ils sont diminutifs. L’atmosphère détendue cache l’évidence partagée: ce sont tous des criminels, célébrant l’ingénieux plan de leur hôte Armando Biancana, une révolution dans les activités du crime organisé Européen. Français, Italiens, Irlandais, Anglais, Grecs, Espagnols, Turcs, Georgiens, Borduriens, tous vont envoyer leur argent dans une des nombreuses îles Pacifique de Biancana, pour ainsi décupler leurs profits et ceux d’Armando. Si loin des autorités, il va être invulnérable. La Sicile, le sud, puis toute l’Italie va se plier à son pouvoir financier. Sa victoire assurée, le prosecco est abondant sur sa plage idyllique.
Le hic est la seule invitée qui ne semble pas extasiée. Contrairement à toutes les autres femmes présentes, elle n’est pas vêtue d’une atrocité pop-art, mais bien d’un maillot bleu ciel d’une élégance marquée. Le vin à la lèvre, allongée parallèle à la piscine, ses cuisses fuselées invitent des regards désireux de presque tous présents, tout genre confondu. Qui est ce canon? Personne n’ose lui demander.
Un subtil regard périphérique pour vérifier qu’il n’y a plus d’admirateurs, puis un temps trois mouvements, elle tire un pistolet de son sac à main et se retourne vers la foule. Son regard fulgurant et son arme sont tous deux visés vers Armando.
“Les mains en l’air!”
Étant tous des criminels de profession, une seule femme armée ne devrait pas être si intimidant, mais ils sont tous bourrés, et le chef, Armando sanglotte. C’est elle qui avait déterminé sont lieu de résidence, c’est elle qui avait volé ces document importants pour son opération, c’est elle qui avait envoyé la lettre suggérant cette réception. Les vedettes d’Interpol, foncent vers la plage, son empire a sombré. Tout ça à cause de cette stupide gamine avec le nez dans ses affaires.
Les criminels étant maintenant en route pour l’avion cellulaire destination Paris, il n’y a que Justine, les Dupondts et quelques policiers encore sur la plage.
“Mademoiselle Justine, cette arrestation était d’une beauté exquise.”
“Je dirais même plus, cette arrestation était d’une exté beauquise.”
Elle permet un sourire, sacrés Dupondts.
“Nous ne sommes plus nécessaires à l’opération, notre vedette repart bientôt.”
Ils se tirent tous les deux le collet, celui-ci trempé par leur perspiration.
“Il aurait fallu apprendre notre leçon après le Khemed Dupont.”
“Je dirais même plus, il aurait fallu apprendre notre kheçon après le Lemed Dupond.”
Justine rit un peu plus.
“Faites ce que vous avez à faire, étant donné mon costume approprié, j’ai quelque chose à faire.”
Elle leur fait signe au revoir, et ne peut s'empêcher de rire de nouveau quand ils trébuchent sur la même algue. C’est à ce même moment que Milou sort de sa cachette, heureux de courir sur le sable. Justine s’agenouille près de lui.
“Toi aussi tu veux profiter des tropiques mon cher Milou?”
Il aboie pour affirmer, recevant des caresses de sa maîtresse.
“Moi aussi”
Les pieds nu, le costume de bain reluisant, ses cheveux atteignant le milieu de son dos, elle marche vers l’eau, d’un turquoise aussi prononcé son habit. 10 ans qu’elle n’avait pas nagé pour le plaisir. 10 ans qu’elle ne pouvait se permettre d’être heureuse. Outre l’aventure et l’attention, le vrai périple qu’elle a vécu était de réapprendre à vivre sans limite. Qu’elle n’avait plus besoin de s’empêcher de ces choses devenues impossibles. Ses amis, sa mode, son apparence, ses passe-temps, sa sociabilité, tous redécouverts avec sa vraie identité. Comparés à ces transformations radicales, il y a peu d’importance concrète à la nage récréationnelle. C’est simplement une conclusion. Il y aurait toujours des embûches de sa vie, mais aucune aussi importante que le mensonge qui l’avait emprisonnée. Fini d’avoir accompli tant sans distinction. Elle plonge sous les vagues et s’admire en apesanteur, son corps parfait à la lumière du soleil. Une vague euphorique s’empare d’elle. Ce simple constat vaut plus que marcher sur la lune.
Girl Tintin
I think it says way too much about me that this is what got me to write in French again. Read the images clockwise from the left
He had worn many an awkward costume for a mission. Yet it wasn't the South American cabin boy, the Japanese general or even the medieval armor that bothered him the most. It was simply himself, but dressed in a skirt, blouse and cardigan, that stirred his mind. Tintin was normally a fairly analytical person, his inner voice tirelessly typing whenever he wasn’t, but now, when he needed it more than ever, it was silent. In this logical void that crossdressing had created, his thoughts, fond of connections, only managed to make one: the times he had already had the same feeling. With equal parts horror, fascination and catharsis, he thought about that dense and heavy warmth that lined his mind. How many times it had appeared without ever being recognized. His love of marbles when he was a kid, motivated not by the simulacrum of gambling that so captivated his classmates, but by a fascination with his mother’s jewelry that he could only respond to through this pastime suitable for a boy. His intense desire to write a report on feminist groups in Brussels, a desire which was blocked by an unusual social malaise. His meeting with his physician, who had diagnosed him with a testosterone deficiency as indicated by his lack of body hair and velvety skin.
“There are treatments for your condition you know, your appearance must be horribly embarrassing for a man your age.” the doctor reassured him.
Yet he never felt any need to “cure” his condition. He admires himself in the mirror, and has to admit that this appearance is at the very least pragmatic, just the clothes are enough to pass for the new secretary of the Syldavian embassy. He pets Snowy to calm down, he too seems captivated by his master's appearance. Tintin always had a suspicion that his dog knew more than him, too bad he couldn't express it.
The Captain waits for him at the entrance to the locker room, and cannot suppress a sailor's whistle at his appearance. Tintin blushes, obviously, but he takes the time to contemplate his friend. He knows that their relationship drew its strength from their differences, but this was the first time he considered the physical dimension. This strong, bearded and rough old sailor is a model of male morphology, unlike him. There is little time for anatomical analysis though, the political issue is the immediate priority. However, when boarding the streetcar, a striking observation forms in the reporter's mind: he prefers his immediate feminine appearance to a masculine ideal.
Blistering Barnacles! This illiterate postman has once again delivered the Cutts’s rubbish to us!
It is rather the Captain who is illiterate, for he did not notice that the few women's magazines he had in his hands were addressed not to Miss Margaret Cutts, but indeed Tintin. The Syldavian diplomatic crisis resolved, he returned with Snowy to his library in Moulinsart to bury himself in the pile of books, dissertations and articles that he accumulated on his desk, a necessary relaxation at the end of any adventure. Tintin is hardly picky with his reading choices, and so in the middle of the mountain of political, historical, geographical and linguistic literature essential to his journalism, there were Miss Cutts’s girls’ magazines which were found in the Moulinsart mailbox. The first evening of his reading period was dedicated to finally reading these rags so innocuous but so threatening. The very next day he subscribed to all the publishers he could find before making a trip to town to obtain more serious literature. The following week, he put on his best feminine voice to order clothes over the phone.
He does not yet have a real mental conception of this desire within him, he simply responds to a joy that is just as, if not more fundamental than a successful report or a resolved adventure. Fortunately for him, there is no question of taming capricious sources or risking an international incident. All he has to do is put on red striped sports shorts and a matching tank top, then admire himself in the mirror he had installed in his room. His fingers run through his flowing hair, which now reaches his shoulders. For as much as his quiff was a recognized aspect of his public image, the searing synthesis of resentments for his appearance that he had carried out had come to the same conclusion as his marbles. He didn't like the quiff on its own as much as it was a substitute for the hairstyle he never had. The symptom of a series of trying events that he had never treated out of contempt for the barber. Slightly trendy hair like he has now may be less memorable, but it's who he really is. He takes Snowy and holds him at eye level. He licks his cheeks happily, prompting an even wider smile from his owner.
The first time he left his room wearing his new wardrobe, he had done everything not to attract the attention of his friends. Now he exits through the main entrance, his posture tall, his expression confident. Haddock looks up from his newspaper in emphatic astonishment
What goes on Tintin? You only needed to disguise yourself as a lady once, but this is the third time you've gone out like this!
Tintin, hand on hip, only responds with a flirtatious smile. He walks into the hall, but the cavernous acoustics of the mansion allow him to hear the Captain speaking to Nestor.
I swear, since she, sorry, he put on that skirt, something has come over this kid. I adore him Nestor, he is my anchor and so much more,, but I no longer know how to approach him. I worry about him and his loneliness, but at the same time I have the impression of witnessing the birth of something big in him.
Change is the only constant, sir.
Tintin listens closer
I think he who spent his whole life sailing on a lake just discovered the ocean Nestor.
A new whirlwind of emotion seizes Tintin. Not just the Captain's unusually touching words, but his mistake. A truth found in Whiskey no doubt. She. Steps becoming lighter and more assertive, he or she heads towards Professor Calculus’s garden, their favorite place to meditate, contemplate and sunbathe. He is there, still pruning his roses when he notices the visitor
Good day madam! He exclaims.
They lie down on the grass, her well-groomed skin exposed to the sensations of spring. She. Madam. It was obvious, a truth that she had continued to deny. Not anymore. Under the shade of the rose bushes, she had found the solution to this riddle.
It was always helpful to have a renowned scientist in your social circle. It took him a few weeks to come to terms with his friend's real identity, not out of social rejection, simply because he sincerely believed that the real change was abandoning a career in journalism to go play tennis. Once he understood, the Professor called a Danish medical institute that he had learned of during a conference, and they accepted the new patient. Her papers, but above all, her loved ones call her Justine. The psychological reality clarified, her condition was no longer a defect, but an asset. She would be a perfect candidate, with minimal treatment required. A few prescriptions and a year later, she really needed to wear a bra, among many other changes..
It wasn’t just her physical appearance that was important, of course. She spent long hours in the living room chatting with Haddock, Snowy asleep on her lap. They discussed all the things they had never known how to tell each other, from Haddock's difficult childhood, to Justine's regret for her colonialist journalism, the Captain's worst years at sea, then the trauma she experienced from her consecutive adventures. Haddock admitted that he was homosexual, and that his affection for Justine extended to that dimension. He knew it wasn't appropriate, but was also too upset to admit it. Justine has no romantic interest, but thanked the Captain for always loving her for who she is.
Haddock wasn't the only one opened up by Justine's transformation. It was with great nervousness that she had sent a letter to Tchang going in depth about her thoughts and feelings. They managed to connect an international line, and the phone bill the following month nearly gave the Captain a heart attack. Despite their distance, Tchang had always been her greatest confidant, and the insights he provided for her were immense. He once spent an entire evening reading lines of Tao poetry and discussing them with her, finding solace in their reflections on inner peace beyond gender and the material world. There was also plenty of giggling and enjoying each others’ company. He hinted he might move to Europe for further education, and she could not be happier about it.
Most surprising of renewed relationships turned out to be the Castafiore. She proved to be much more comfortable with other women, and thus was incredibly generous and wise towards the unknowns of her new protégé. It took a few rough months, but thanks to the hairdressers, tailors, etiquette teachers and even just the social environments recommended by the singer, Justine had made up for the years she hadn't lived as herself.
She’s a little anxious, but she knows she’s ready. Trendy red skirt, flattering sweater, flirty necklace and armband, she is exactly who she wants to be, and the confidence she feels is palpable. She tightens her ponytail, it's now 11 o'clock sharp. She enters the office of Gérard Pelletier, her first lead in a story of questionable aerial activity in the Canadian Arctic. The stocky man looks at her. An amiable smile appears.
“Miss Justine, a pleasure to meet you!”
The anticipation of Justine's first adventure is mind-boggling.
“Smile for the camera!”
Justine, in a vain mood, wonders which is more dazzling, the flash, or her? She is right to think so. The bouffant golden hair, the sparkling eyes, the magnetic smile, her picturesque silhouette, all dressed in a low-cut mini dress and matching high heels in “blizzard” white, a journalist's portrait has rarely been so stylish. Haddock made fun of her friend a little, asking her if it was a photo session for an international scandal or a gossip column in Paris-Match. Justine is not naive, she knows just as well that such a getup is inappropriate for the arrest of a group of airborne polar mercenaries led by Dr. Müller, which is why the high fashion shoot would be a whole small black and white box at the end of the article. The real attraction was the original photo, which would go into Justine's private possession.
Of course, it's not all flattering photos, Justine's new life had its own challenges. It's difficult to be taken seriously by ne'er-do-wells when you're an attractive young woman, especially when your very existence is a known story and a bit of a scandal in its own right. Fortunately, all this is minimized by Justine's experience with these types of folks, and the Captain's promise to rough up those who wouldn’t keep their mouths shut. Despite the intense atmosphere of the studio, Justine is calm. The few old photos of her that exist are so formal, so uncomfortable. Justine is beautiful, and she will flaunt it, even if it means indulging her unscrupulous editor to have professional risqué photographs taken of her.
So many pleasantries at this Polynesian villa, for a panorama of the elite is present at this party, their tailored jackets and dresses replaced by ridiculous Hawaiian shorts and swimsuits as garish as they are diminutive. The relaxed atmosphere hides the shared truth: they are all criminals, celebrating their host Armando Biancana's ingenious plan, a revolution in the activities of European organized crime. French, Italians, Irish, English, Greeks, Spanish, Turks, Georgians, Bordurians, all will send their money to one of Biancana’s many Pacific islands, thus increasing their profits and Armando’s. So far from the authorities, he will be invulnerable. Sicily, the south, then all of Italy will bow to his financial power. With victory assured, prosecco is abundant on the idyllic beach.
The hole in the plan is the only guest present who doesn't seem ecstatic. Unlike all the other women present, she is not dressed in a pop art atrocity, but a sky blue one-piece swimsuit of distinguished elegance. With wine at her lips, lying parallel to the pool, her shapely thighs invite eager glances from almost everyone present, regardless of gender. Who is this looker? No one dares to ask her.
A subtle peripheral glance to check that there are no more admirers, she draws a pistol from her handbag and turns towards the crowd. Both her glare and her gun are aimed at Armando.
“Hands up!”
Being all professional criminals, a single armed woman shouldn't be so intimidating, but they are also rather drunk, and the leader, Armando is sobbing. It was she who had determined his place of residence, it was she who had stolen these important documents, it was she who had sent the letter suggesting this reception. The Interpol speedboats are rushing towards the beach, his empire has foundered. All because of that stupid girl with her nose in his business.
The criminals are now on their way to the cellular plane to Paris, and there is only Justine, the Thompsons and a few police officers still on the beach.
“Miss Justine, this arrest was exquisitely beautiful.”
“I would even say more, this arrest was of a bequisitely exutiful.”
A smile forms on her face, ah those Thompsons.
“We are no longer needed for the operation, our boat will leave soon.”
They both pull on their collars, both soaked with sweat.
“We should have learned our lesson after Khemed Thompson.”
“I would even say more, we should have learned our khesson after Lemed Thomson.”
Justine allowed a giggle.
“Do what you have to do, given I’m appropriately dressed, I have something left to do here.”
She waves them goodbye, and can't help but laugh again when they both trip over the same seaweed. It is at this same moment that Snowy comes out of his hiding place, happy to run on the sand. Justine kneels next to him.
“Do you want to enjoy the tropics, my dear Snowy?”
He barks to affirm, receiving pets from her.
"Me too"
With bare feet, a bathing suit glistening in the sun and her hair reaching the middle of her back, she walks towards the water, as turquoise as her outfit. It’s been 10 years since she last swam for fun. 10 years since she could allow herself to be happy. Besides the adventure and the attention, the real journey she experienced was to relearn how to live without limits. That she no longer needed to stop herself from these things that she had thought impossible. Her friends, her fashion, her appearance, her hobbies, her social life, all rediscovered with her true identity. Compared to these radical transformations, there is little practical importance to recreational swimming. Right now it is simply a conclusion. There would always be pitfalls in her life, but none as big as the lie that had imprisoned her. The days of doing so much without distinction are over. She dives beneath the waves and admires her weightless self, her body perfect in the sunlight. A wave of euphoria takes hold of her. This simple observation is worth more than walking on the moon.