bleh.

[syrensblog]

giving is healing to the spirit

we give offerings to our ancestors because it heals the spirit, both yours and theirs. it is also an action of love and generosity. through giving to each other, we learn how to experience mutuality and through that mutuality, both you and your ancestors ensure that both your growth and healing is nurtured.

[syrensblog]

*this was in my drafts since Oct 2022 and I just thought to share

this year has pretty much taught me that

- self love is really crucial, being your own friend is crucial. the moment you start learning how to love yourself, certain patterns unfold and you receive more clarity. with learning to love yourself, your standards and what you settle for increases, you realise your self worth, you realise the power you have and you gain a sense of confidence. you realise that you really are the creator of your life, it's up to you how you choose to live this life thing.

- if you are striving to build a certain life for yourself, always ask yourself "does this align with the life i want for myself?" it really helps when you're making decisions.

- friendship connections are just as important and as beautiful as romantic relationships.

- it's okay to fail. it's better to fail than to make no mistakes at all. failing opens room for learning and redirection.

- connecting with your emotions and gaining a strong sense of emotional intelligence can really save you from a lot of situations.

- sometimes it's okay not to reply to certain messages to protect your peace.

- be selfish with your mornings, you deserve to give yourself an hour or two without using your phone. connecting with your heart every morning and making an intention for the day brings so much peace.

- being grounded is important, remain grounded so you can deal with the complexities of life in a calm manner.

- being kind and lending an ear can really make someone's day. we are all going through something in our lives and being kind and compassionate can really make a lot of difference.

- living life with intention helps keep momentum of building yourself in a way that you want.

- practicing love languages on yourself builds a stronger connection with the self.

[syrensblog]

my goal is to live an intentional life filled with love, compassion and grace.

[syrensblog]

the environment you grow up in is just as important

The more I work on myself, the more unlearning I do and the more I notice my patterns of limiting beliefs. Rewiring my mind is an interesting journey, and fulfilling too.

The despair starts when you realise the environment you're in is the one that's holding you back, the environment that introduced you to the limiting beliefs, to dream "safely" (not too ambitious), to shrink yourself; an environment that was built to crush souls, dreams and ambitions because of the shared struggles surrounding that environment.

i sometimes think to myself why I am doing what I am doing...besides doing it because I love it, I also:

work hard so I can show the people in my environment that there's nothing wrong with dreaming big.

I work hard to raise the awareness that the environment you're in shapes your reality, it's so important to realise that different environments play a crucial role in how you think, behave, etc.

I work hard to heal through my words and my story and through things I am yet to venture in.

I work hard to break generational curses that stem from my lineage.

I work hard as a way to honor my ancestors, those that couldn't even have the privilege of reading books, having access to things like the internet; those that couldn't work due to deep systemic issues, those that could not even recieve education due to extreme poverty; those that knew nothing beyond suffering, struggle and poverty. I honor those that sacrificed themselves so that others can live a better life than them, I honor those who had no way of saving themselves in toxic environments and homes, I honor those who could not chase their dreams, those who were denied following their dreams because "women can't work, they have to stay home and take care of the house and kids" narrative, those that were told they could not achieve what they wanted to achieve because it was "impossible", those who listened to people that have limiting beliefs and deep conditioning to the point where they were forced to stop dreaming big.

so note to self:

when you feel like giving up... think about why you started in the first place, and think about the divine guidance, love and support you have from the Divine.

[ashstfu]

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

[syrensblog]

the more & the deeper you connect with God, you realise that you are not separated from them, you're rather a resemblance of them.

[syrensblog]

me by me.

[charlieparker-blog1]

Billie Holiday, Berlin, 1954.

[mwana-wevhu]

South Africa ca. 1967-1976 (Scheub, Harold)

[disease]

“INVISIBLE ADVERSARIES” [109M.] VALIE EXPORT | @ AUSTRIA, 1977

[achillesinhighheels]

Gil Scott Heron explains the meaning behind ‘The Revolution Will Not Be Televised,’ a 1991 interview

[syrensblog]

[intomore]

Carrie Mae Weems, American, 1975,

Gelatin silver print. 8 ⅝ x 8 ⅝ in. (21.9 x 21.9 cm). 

Courtesy of the artist and Jack Shainman Gallery, New York

[fashionlandscapeblog]

sssaharam photographed by Bryan Durante for The Collector Magazine

[syrensblog]

it all feels like a dream,

hello dearest.

[syrensblog]

i have been getting a lot of realizations and learning a lot about my life.

it hasn't been easy the past couple of weeks.

confusion, frustration, anger, resistance, sadness and stagnancy have been reoccurring themes of my life lately.

i do not feel like myself.

i feel like i am out of my 'flow' state.

it's been so hard to connect with myself again and it's been so hard to get inspired and motivated.

i feel as though i have no sense of direction even when i know where im headed. this period has got to be the most confusing, scary and frustrating period of my life.

i have realized how i haven't actually taken full responsibility of my own life. it's almost as if im still waiting for something to come and change how i feel.

ive realized how i am mentally lazy. i don't put in any effort to actually focus on the things that i am supposed to be focusing on, instead i make excuses and procrastinate and i think that's my biggest problem.

throughout the days, i have learnt that it's okay to ask for help. i struggle so much with opening up and asking for help, it's something that i need to work on (which will take so much time).

im fortunate enough to have a strong support system that understands me, with that mainly being my boyfriend. sometimes i question myself how he willingly decides to stay with me, even when ive proven to him how much of a workload i can be. i am grateful that he remains patient and doesnt lose hope/ gives up on me even when i feel like ive given him the reasons to. he tries to push me into becoming my best self and wow i am just grateful and i feel so fortunate to have a partner like mine. i love you so much, my love and thank you for everything, i really appreciate you. thank you for sticking by my side, always <3.

my spirituality has been weighing heavy on me as well, the intense and vivid dreams i would get would leave my body and spirit feeling alarmed.

the growing pains are almost unbearable. i feel a sense of discomfort and i am fighting so hard to find comfort, but then again i remember that there is no growth in feeling comfort.

[syrensblog]