do you find you often end up listening to songs and relating them to your experience as a system?
this is a blog for that! here I'm going to collect songs that you or I relate to, just send it in an ask. feel free to add a comment as to why you relate or what part of your experiences you relate it to, or a lyric that resonates (no pressure though! you can just send it)
I will accept:
𝄢 songs that make you think of your alters
𝄢 songs about amnesia
𝄢 songs about identity issues
𝄢 songs about trauma and survival
𝄢 songs about the lesser known parts of cdds
𝄢 songs about dissociation in general
𝄢 songs about emotions, shame, hurt, and grief
𝄢 songs about healing!
𝄢 spoken word songs
𝄢 instrumental songs
𝄢 and more!
as long as you relate to it, it's fair game! chances are someone else will relate too. I fully accept and even encourage discussions about the negatives. this is more than just an alter disorder!
I only ask that if your song contains triggering content, that you warn before sending. I'll probably end up giving a lot of these songs a listen, and I'd like to know what I'm getting into
ㅤㅤmasterlistㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤplaylistsㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤanon tags
tagging + disclaimers below
tagging!
I'm going to try and organise this blog as best I can within tumblr's 24 allowed featured tags, so go check those out if you're looking for a specific vibe!
my aim is to organise based on topic, genre, and possible role, as well as whether the tone is positive or negative
I'm afraid I will have to be broad with my categories, at least in the easy to access tags. more specific ones can be added as they come up, and I can always move things around if needed
disclaimers!
this blog should not be used to figure yourself out. songs don't come with a disorder attached, this is purely just relating to them in a specific way. this is not medical advice, and you don't have to relate to every song here to be valid
funnily enough, the person running the cdd song blog has a dissociative disorder. if I disappear for a few days, it's probably just dissociation hell, the blog has not been abandoned! I'll be back when I can
please be aware that this blog will contain songs relating to trauma and dissociation, as well as other potentially triggering topics. I will do my best to warn appropriately, but feel free to let me know if I've missed something and please take care of yourself!
you might have noticed I've been talking about dissociative disorders almost exclusively. I am anti endo, and so by proxy this blog is too, and it is focusing on disordered experiences. however, if you want to send in an ask about your experiences, I'm not gonna know! I also invite pro endo traumagenics to submit songs, you still share these experiences
Welcome back Sys-Coded songs! Hope you're doing alright and all 🤎 it's nice to see you again :)
— 🧺🪵
aw, thank you hon <3
I'm doing alright, just some stuff in my offline life meaning I can't post as much as I'd like to. just know that any sudden long hiatuses are probably a mix of that and the aforementioned dissociative disorder, rather than this blog being abandoned
it's always a pleasure to get asks from you guys, so even if it might take a while for me to get to them, know you're all appreciated
another song chosen by one of our parts (me, actually! the host writing this!) good song, very fictive coded but doesn't have to be, you just have to relate to that feeling of being alien in your own skin
“ I don't want to be her, dissociate through another day . . . ”
What's Going On?!
by Elio Mei
“ . . . I don't know who that is standing in the mirror, everywhere I look I'm alone ”
this song talks about the "voices" being unable to comfort you and keep you company, as well as trying to yell over those parts of yourself that spiral and spiral, but I think it also reminds me of trauma and that feeling of being controlled and silenced and used, and then dumped when you can't fulfil that anymore
this one feels like religious trauma, especially when it's pulling on lyrics from The Chapel, which is more overt about it, but it's also pretty explicitly about home life too, about feeling unsafe and not knowing who you are outside of who you were
ok its yap time :D
Madilyn Mei's music. So many of her songs are very system-coded
1 - Six legs tippy tappy toes
"Six legs, tippy tappy toes
Climbing to the podium on Sunday
Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory
That itches my brain"
this one feels like religious trauma
2 - Partner in Crime
"When you're gone, I feel alone again
The voices cannot hold my hand
They keep me company at very best
Distract me from my loneliness"
i feel like this is pretty self-explanatory, voices being alters
3 - The Chapel
"The children hum a hymn
And I'd like to run away
But to leave would be a sin
I'm missing a house
That I've never called home
I'm missing a time that I've never known"
again, religious trauma, maybe ramcoa
4 - Whats going on
"I don't wanna be here
Don't want a body or brain or thoughts of my own
I don't know who's there in the mirror
Wanna go home
Where is home though?
I don't wanna be her
Dissociate through another day
I don't know who that is standing in the mirror
Everywhere I look I'm alone"
very fictive-coded, with dissociation and not recognizing the body
idk her songs are very autism- and system-coded
split this one into four, which will be linked once all are posted
Six Legs
Partner in Crime
The Chapel
What's Going On!?
it should be noted that this ask was sent in before Elio changed his name on all their social media, as well as before they came out about his pronouns being he/they (before this, they were known to use any).
Mr Forgettable by David Kushner encapsulates the desperation of amnesia very well
"But have some patience for the part of me that's lost
There's been a hundred times
When I don't recognize
Any of you that love me
I try to memorize and identify
But it's all getting foggy"
“ my head is in the clouds right now . . . ”
Mr. Forgettable
by David Kushner
cws: this song is about dementia explicitly, so be prepared if that has affected you
uncanny by ghost and pals! in fact most songs by ghost and pals but uncanny we believe was intentionally written about osddid related experiences the creator experienced!
This song is about Ryan's (lead singer/songwriter) poor self-image—in the song, he turns the worst parts of his internal feelings into his physical appearance.
As a system, however, it can be interpreted in SO many different ways.
Specially when that song goes “when I get angry I feel weak and hear these voices in my head telling me to fall beneath because they’ll make everything okay how did I get here everything’s unclear I never meant to cause you pain”
“ (don't run and hide, stand up and fight) . . . ”
Lifeline
by Thousand Foot Krutch
“ . . . (it's shaking you mind with cause and divide) ”
"Garlagan - skyless" reminds us of what is like going through dissociation and feeling a little disoriented over it and it's a very pretty sounding song in general, we also found the song after we split and switched hosts temporarily so it kinda means a lot to us bc we heard it when we needed it to help us manage our feelings back then
We interpret the "please my senses once more/never more" as please let me/don't let me feel happy again
And uhh my favourite lyrics are
"Time has been dripping out too much
It's just that time oh it's been dripping out
But time's just clouds in the sky"
That last line, but time's just clouds in the sky, i just resonate a lot with it
Dont laugh at me for this, but This Comes From Inside by The Living Tombstone has ALWAYS made me think about being a system. maybe you gotta squint but I personally feel like it's accurate ♡
“ how could we have known that we're stuck in a system? . . . ”
This Comes From Inside
by The Living Tombstone
“ . . . there was a pre-existing dictum, programmed to do nothing else ”
hi!! I do not know for sure if I'm a system so if that's not allowed here that's totally fine;; however I found that One Man Circus by Madilyn Mei feels very system coded to me
questioning systems are totally okay! tbh, I think anyone with any disorder on the dissociative spectrum (incl. BPD, PTSD, etc.) will be able to relate to a lot of these songs too, it's just mainly focused on system experiences
anyway, yap yap, on with the post!
I definitely agree with this one btw, the masking and being hyper-independent too
“ I am a one man circus, I'm the singer and the song . . . ”
One Man Circus
by Elio Mei
“ . . . and the writer, and the dreamer, and the show that must go on! ”
If it hasn't been submitted yet, "What It Sounds Like" from Kpop Demon Hunters. The lyrics reflect how it felt to finally get some internal communication, helping us realize that we actually need to coordinate to make any progress.
If it has been (hope a secondary is okay!), then "Scapego@t" by GHOST. Simply bc one guy who's a well-meaning-but-overcorrecting narcissist relates to it very much. Cathartic for anger and pride holders/inhuman parts imo.
first one is here but secondaries are always fine!
“ now do you hate me? are you afraid of me? . . . ”
SCAPEG♾AT
by Ghost and Pals
cws: violence in the getting revenge on abusers way
Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer’s Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus)
by Will Wood and The Tapeworms
cws: paranoia, unreality, body horror (descriptions)
“ . . . ready in your head and read up on your memoirs ”
