To the Myst and Cyan Fan Community...
(Note: Main topics are in bold)
I already posted this on reddit, but understandably, it was removed because some comments there were not the most productive. (I hold no ill will against the particular moderator there for removing it, though, and thank them for clearing up their reasoning and for considering my point of view.) Some will judge me for posting this here; this is vague, and some may see it as petty, but I need to clear this up. I am genuinely concerned about the inner community based around the famous video game Myst.
An incident occurred, of which I was involved with, on July 7th, 2023. There was a neutral party that I tried to help and support. I hope their efforts are extremely successful. (and I have seen that they have gotten positive attention from their efforts on reddit and Youtube) However, my help was misinterpreted as malicious and selfish by a higher party in the community, and I received a heated public accusation from that same party on that same day, the specifics of which, and from whom, I've tried to keep private.
I have no criticism of Cyan, nor its creators and developers, nor the grand majority of its community. This did not involve them. I'm thankful for the connections that I've made, and those who have tried to stay civil during the incident.
Most of us in the Myst/Cyan community have grown together for the past near-25 years. I have been with it for 20 of those years. Unfortunately, in the community's present state, this is not what I recognize from 20 years ago. It seems that we are losing sight of what Cyan's games embody, and how those should guide our community in-turn. We are supposed to SOLVE problems and break down barriers, not create them.
Some may also think I'm using a DARVO strategy. This is not a deflection of responsibility on my part. I did make a well-meaning decision, contemplating how to approach it, with easily-accessible information, based on the same precedent of another member of the community, but my decision was misinterpreted as something that it was not meant to be. When clarified in-private, I thought it was as simple as remedying it (which I did immediately, no question, no resistance, no discourtesy), and it would be finished. Despite my efforts, there was still a heated judgement made towards me from someone higher-up, behind my back and in public, instead of in private.
Yes, I am upset about being treated like this, but I'm actually more scared than upset, because I don't know how to approach this community now, despite the fact that we all have a common interest in Cyan's games, and we seemingly had open connections.
I feel my conduct in this incident was judged very unfairly, and unnecessarily in public chat. In other less-professional public chats and other hobby communities, I have seen well-meaning and harmless people summarily judged in similar ways by those in higher positions, vindictively and without thoughtfulness. If my experience has taught me anything, I'm seeing the start of a double-standard in how our community is being moderated; a skirting of reason to avoid explaining it due to status, and I am very concerned. This is also not the first time. If someone else does what I did, in the future, with the best of intentions, how will they be treated?
I have nothing but respect for the many fans of Myst all over the world, to whom I've wanted to contribute and help with. People have asked me to think and be considerate. I did in this instance, and unfortunately, it's had to become an obsession, in order to at the very least reach enough of the standards put out by others, but it seems that I still came under scrutiny and that effort isn't good enough anymore.
THIS IS NOT WHAT A HEALTHY COMMUNITY DOES.
I'm taking a giant risk to my status as a member and my own emotions by posting this, but I have already had to live with the stress of being told to keep quiet, and how I now assume other people think of me, for the past month. I am BURNED OUT. (For all my life, people have already judged me based on my disability, and used that against me.) Those involved did not listen, to come to an understanding, so I feel it must be said, because the quality of any community shouldn't be above criticism or stay unquestioned. Again, It's not healthy for anyone to have to be constantly on self-guard when reasonable boundaries aren't made clear, or can't be explained with rules, for fear of crossing them accidentally.
I also feel that those involved have already decided my status as a member, despite how long I've been with this group, and I'm unsure if I will be allowed to return. I only hope that the people who have known me for these 20 years will understand my words at face value.