dicks out for tony stark

natasha romanoff deserved better

[t-stvrk]

peter: hey what does bdsm mean?

tony:

steve: BIBLE DISCUSSION AND STUDY MEETING

peter:

peter, to the camera: i know what bdsm means, i just wanted to see what they would say

[t-stvrk]

if any of u wonder why i dont respond to comments its because every time i comment it does it as my other account and i get scared and just dont 🥰

[t-stvrk]

tony, opening his eyes at 3 am to see peter t-posing over him, wearing a Le Monke mask:

peter: uh oh stinky

tony:

tony: *screams*

bucky: *from under the fucking bed*

bucky: UH OH STINKY

tony: *screaming intesifies*

[t-stvrk]

hello its been a minute and i still dont have any memory of writing this feels like a fever dream 🥰🧚✨💞🌸

[t-stvrk]

peter: *screams*

tony: *screams higher*

steve, to the camera: parenting has come very far in this day and age

[t-stvrk]

peter: mr captain america sir, i-

steve: peter, there is no ‘i’ only ‘we’

peter:

peter: okay, ‘we’ slept with wade

steve:

peter: dont tell mr stark

[t-stvrk]

tony, in the lab: *hears a noise*

tony:

tony: are you in my ceiling again, barton?

clint:

clint, in the vents: no

[beautifulandscary]

I wanna know what people assume about me because of my tumblr.

[telvi1]

Put an assumption in my ask. I’ll confirm or dispute it. I’m not gonna be mean or anything, I’m just very interested. You can go anon if you want.

[t-stvrk]

peter: why aren’t you wearing a costume, mr. barnes? its halloween!!

bucky: i am...sam told me to wear my normal clothes

sam: i dressed him as a disappointment

[t-stvrk]

tony: *angry* i need to get some air

steve: there’s air in here

tony: I DONT WANT YOUR AIR

steve:

steve: whats wrong with my air??

[t-stvrk]

peter: wade is so fucking annoying sometimes

mj: i know right fuck him

peter: he literally never shuts up-

mj: peter, fuck him

peter: i know-

mj: fuck him

peter:

mj: Fuck Him Peter

[t-stvrk]

tony: so you’ll hide in here and pop out on my signal

tony: oh, you’re not claustrophobic are you?

peter: claustrophobic? who would be scared of santa claus?

tony:

peter:

tony:

peter: ohhhh

peter: jewish people

[t-stvrk]

tony: *glares at steve*

tony: cap...

steve: tony...

peter: peter...

tony:

tony: *whispers* you said your own name, pete

peter: *also whispering* it was the only one left

[t-stvrk]

stephen and tony: *in a fight*

stephen: *storms off*

tony: *hurrying after him*

tony: goddamn it stephen, you know your legs are longer than mine

[t-stvrk]

*literally just making out*

tony: dont you think we might be just a little bit gay for each other?

stephen: oh, absolutely not

[t-stvrk]

peter: mr stark, I-

tony: there is no ‘I’ pete, only ‘we’

peter:

peter: okay, We are gay

[t-stvrk]

bucky: you promise you didn’t get me bees again?

sam from a distance: just open it

[t-stvrk]

reblogging bc i think im funny

[t-stvrk]

tony: well, you’ve got to eat something, how about a sandwich?

peter: what kind of bread?

tony: um, whole wheat?

peter: haha silly, you know i dont eat spicy foods

tony:

peter:

tony: you’re absolutely right, im sorry