Live Long and Prosper

A little bit of what makes me laugh with a pinch of music and a dash of nerdy.

[meandyoudotws]

[lithping]

name us and the contract will be sealed

[cikero]

no one:

business majors: I have to be as unethical as possible

[octopussiour]

[oparnoshoshoi]

Prison industrial complex must be crushed

[catsuggest]

remember …

[phoenix-reburned]

Remember what cat?

[catsuggest]

im always watchinge

[catsuggest]

well usually watchinge

[cute-animals-only]

[fozmeadows]

the lesser-known roof-fox makes its nest

[xtremecaffeine-deactivated20181]

What kind of birds are these?

[todaysbird]

fox sparrow

[englishdub]

When I was in 6th grade I was going through my emo phase so one day I came to school wearing all black and my teacher said “What’re you all dressed up for? Going on a hot date?” and in the saddest voice that i could muster I said “Yeah… a date with death” and she stopped talking to me for the rest of the school day

[foulserpent]

cis dude who doesnt bathe or wipe his ass properly voice leg hair on girls is so gross 

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[bl-ossomed]

[fuckscooter]

we need carbs and we need fats and we need proteins and honestly fuck diet culture for normalizing malnourishment 

[1i73-deactivated20221021]

“hi welcome to mcdonald’s may i take your order”

me: *slapping my belly real close to the order box* ooooohhh me so hungwy

[dare-i-say-asexual]

i remember when i thought i was straight and this guy i was dating was trying to pressure me into sex while i had cramps by saying “orgasms relieve cramps babe” and without thinking i replied “but you don’t make me cum” and i have never seen anyone go through the seven stages of grief so quickly

[colorofinsanity]

d e s t r o y e d

[mitski-miyawakis]

that was so savage he endured two extra stages of grief

[classyvirgx]

[strawberry-button]

[kayleefabulous]

MY ANACONDA-

[mightymargaretofanjou]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

[frankie-steins-leg]

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

[liberar-se]