I consider my blog to be 16+ While I won’t block people younger than 16 who wish to interact, this is your warning so be advised.
I keep all of my gore and nsfw on my alt which is 18+ I’m not willing to share the @ on any post I make because I know there are minors that follow me, but feel free to dm me if you want to check it out. (Or you could find it yourself, that’s a possibility /gen)
I’m a writer, so longer posts are more likely to show up than shorter ones. I post all of my writing under #wormie writes. Analytical posts are also pretty common.
Drabble masterpost pending.
The Flicker of a Streetlight masterpost here.
(Just Don't) Hang Your Hopes on Me masterpost here.
Published fics on my AO3.
Asks and scene requests: Open, but a little slow to answer
Currently posting about:
Iron Lung
Project Hail Mary (+crossovers)
The Gray Man (Movie & Books)
Assorted Ryan Gosling Media (see above)
RyGos Supernatural (masterpost here)
Miscellaneous Sci-Fi
My original novel
Whatever my muse decides is good
Uhhh, idk man- I’m not built for formal posts like this. Judge me by these posts: Convict’s name (full), Convict with wings, Moon!Ryland, and Hermitcraft x Project Hail Mary.
Deeply sorry for anyone who catches my blog while I’m in the middle of blogging about The Gray Man book series, I swear I have insightful posts about things and it’s not all just one-three lines about whatever fuckshit that Court’s doing 🙏
You can now join me in yapping about The Gray Man in my TGM discord server!
You should totally throw a brick at me, I’ll throw one back <3
would loveee to have another fic where zack learns about all the situations / injuries that court gets and has to deal with on his own
This is specifically about an injury that has no relation to canon, but then Zack learns about 3 gunshot wounds that did happen.
So, yeah… This is pretty much an analysis of Court’s state of mind over his own being (and Zack’s opinion on that). Word Count: 2924
If Court has to pull one more piece of shrapnel out of his body, he's going to lose it. Officially.
He's lucky he even got back to the hotel room. His entire body was throbbing and every movement yanked at his wounds.
There was blood literally everywhere: The bathroom sink, the cabinets from him rummaging around in search of his supplies, the shower (even though he'd yet to get in it), the toilet (somehow), the floor… It was a fucking mess.
Court's been in the bathroom using tweezers to shakily pull out pieces of metal, rock, and glass from his body for about fifteen minutes straight. He's tired and feeling gross from all the blood and dirt on him, but there wasn't anything he could do until his wounds were clean.
"Shit," Court whispered to himself when a larger piece of metal refused to leave his skin. He bit his lip and grabbed hold of the shrapnel again with the tweezers and yanked quickly. The metal came out, thankfully, and he winced before dropping the shard to the floor.
Court sighed as he looked himself over. It was hard to see if he needed to keep going with all the shit on him, but he needed to be sure he was good before getting in the shower. Court placed the tweezers on the sink, the metal stained with blood, both old and new, and started running his hands gently over his skin.
He'd just finished assessing his left arm when the hotel room door opened. It shouldn't be able to open. Court had locked it when he'd come in.
He'd made sure no one was following him before returning to the hotel room, too, even when his body protested his actions. So… who was it?
Court was stuck between grabbing a weapon to defend himself, and pretending he didn't exist. If this were a civilian and they walked in on him drenched in blood, they'd probably— sanely— freak the fuck out. If they weren't a civilian, then Court was fucked. He knew his body had already reached and surpassed its limit, so there was no way he'd be able to fight back. Shit.
Footsteps entered the room and stopped in front of the bed. Court had a view from the bathroom to the bed itself, so he saw it was a taller man— broad, too— that entered the room. The guy certainly had the build of someone who could fight.
Court took a quiet step away from the sink, careful not to slip on the blood he'd poured onto the floor, and towards the man. This was a stupid fucking idea, but he wasn't dying without a fight.
The man in front of the bed threw a bag onto it with a sigh and turned towards Court— towards the bathroom.
Both of them froze.
"Uhh," Zack intelligently said.
Court's shoulders dropped. He sighed and closed his eyes, stilling his anxiously beating heart. It was just Zack.
When he opened his eyes, Zack's face was concerned. His eyes kept darting all over Court's body, taking everything in without a word.
Court opened his mouth to say something but a wave of dizziness stopped him. He fell forward and Zack caught his shoulders. "Court," Zack said as he righted him again.
Court hummed in acknowledgment, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate with his brain. Great, there goes the ability to speak.
"Dude," Zack whispered to himself.
He maneuvered Court so the man was leaning against his side and brought him back into the bathroom. He sat Court down on the floor, his back against the bathtub, and grabbed literally everything Court had set up on the sink.
Zack crouched in front of Court, put all of the man's medical supplies down beside him, and took hold of Court's face. "Come on, stay awake."
Court couldn't even lift a hand to get Zack's hand away from him. He was just too damn tired now. Strange… that tiredness felt so sudden. Maybe his adrenaline had finally crashed?
Zack patted Court's cheek a few times to make him open his eyes again. "There, keep them open now," He told Court quietly.
Zack got to work, glancing up at Court every two seconds to make sure he was still awake. He didn't ask questions— this wasn't exactly the time for that.
Zack wiped away all the dirt and blood he could before feeling and looking over Court's entire body— just like Court had been doing before the man had come into the room.
There wasn't anything horrific on Court, just a collection of smaller wounds that had eventually taken him down. Zack cleaned everything he found on the front of Court before pulling the man forward by the back of his neck.
Court tensed at the hand but leaned forward regardless. Zack checked over Court's back, trailing a light hand across the expanse of it to check for shrapnel. Thankfully, there wasn't any, so he slowly leaned Court back against the tub.
Zack felt over the man's legs next. Court had pretty much stripped down to deal with all of his wounds, so he was just in his underwear now. Zack didn't really give a fuck about that— not with fresh blood pouring out of a wound on Court's knee.
"Zack," Court mumbled faintly. He tried to raise a hand towards Zack's as it touched around the wound.
"Shh." Zack didn't look up, he already knew what Court wanted to say. "I've got this."
Court went quiet and relaxed his fingers, not bothering to try to use his little energy to stop Zack from tending to him. He watched with partial clarity as Zack cleaned his wound before wrapping his knee. It was mostly a superficial injury, but wrapping it would still be good for Court.
Zack swept a hand down his other leg before declaring Court officially checked over. "M'kay," Zack mumbled. "Let's get you in the shower."
Court didn't protest when Zack got him to his feet, his arms wrapped tightly around Court's middle. Zack held him up as he turned the water on, maintaining Court's balance for him.
Court leaned his head against Zack's shoulder tiredly, and the man rubbed a hand up and down his lower back in response.
"Almost there," Zack reassured him. "Just wash up and then you can sleep."
Court stepped under the waterspray when Zack directed him into the shower, and started rinsing off the grime.
Zack kept one hand on his bicep to balance him as the other scrubbed down Court's body to peel away the blood and dirt. Court leaned into the man's hand without meaning to when his hand swept through Court's dirty hair. "I'm tired," Court whispered.
Zack grabbed soap and slathered it over Court's torso and arms. "I know," He responded. "Just hold onto me."
Court placed his hand on Zack's shoulder without a word. Zack used both hands to rinse the soap, check that there were no wounds he'd missed, before bending down to scrub Court's legs.
Court maintained a tight grip on Zack's shoulder to balance himself, feeling faint and tired. "My underwear is soaked," He said to himself.
Zack huffed a laugh as he stood back up and helped Court rinse off the soap. He grabbed shampoo and threaded his fingers gently through Court's hair before massaging the shampoo into Court's scalp.
Court's shoulders raised at the sensitivity of his scalp and hair, but he ducked his head so Zack could continue. It was weird. It felt weird. Both good and bad. He didn't have the energy to describe or understand his thoughts right now.
Zack rinsed the shampoo out silently and grabbed the conditioner. Court realized then that Zack didn't have to do any of this. Court could've showered to rinse off the blood— that would have been enough. But here Zack was, bathing Court and making sure he was squeaky clean.
Court shivered as Zack pulled knots out of his hair to apply the conditioner. Court closed his eyes when Zack freed the last knot and kept running his fingers through the ends of Court's hair to make sure the conditioner was evenly distributed.
Zack rinsed his hair afterwards, watching Court's shoulders relax when his hands left the man's scalp. "Okay, nice and clean," Zack commented as he shut the water off.
He grabbed a towel and dried Court's hair without a word. Court's grip on his shoulder tightened but he didn't move. Zack dried the rest of his body, careful of the fresh wounds, and then stood up again.
He helped Court step out of the shower before tossing the towel on the sink. Zack left the bathroom after making Court lean against the wall and returned with a new set of clothes. "Come on," Zack said as he walked over to where Court was standing.
Court shrugged off his underwear without Zack's help— despite the man's loud protests. "Court," He scolded. "I just—" Zack cut himself off and sighed.
Court let his wet underwear sit on the floor as he stepped into his new ones after taking them from Zack's hands.
He didn't look at Zack as he stood upright again.
Zack helped him into his clean shorts and shirt, refusing to hand over the clothes unless Court let him assist.
"There you go," Zack nodded in approval when Court was fully dressed. He ran a hand over Court's shirt to smooth the wrinkles before pulling Court back into the bedroom.
Court sat down on the bed and then fell backwards, his head landing on one of the pillows. "Mm," He groaned as the pain coursed through his body.
Zack turned back to the bathroom and sighed, shaking his head. He cleaned up the bathroom, ridding the entire space of evidence of Court's injuries as if it was his job.
He grabbed new bandages for Court's wounds and exited the bathroom once more. Zack sat down on the bed near Court and tossed his bag onto the floor. Court looked at him sleepily for a moment before closing his eyes.
Zack took off any wet bandages he deemed too damaged and replaced them with dry, clean ones. He finished applying them quickly, scanning Court head to toe one last time before placing the unused bandages on top of his bag.
"Thanks," Court mumbled softly.
Zack shrugged in response. He thought as silence filled the room.
"What would you have done if I weren't here?" Zack asked seriously.
"The same thing you did," Court answered. "Clean, bandage, shower, sleep."
Court scoffed and shook his head. "No, I wouldn't have."
"Oh, yeah? How do you know that?" Zack questioned, feeling a mix of anger and worry.
"I've done this before," Court said with his eyes still closed. "Happens all the time."
Zack's brows furrowed as he looked Court over again. There were older scars on Court that looked like they hadn't healed right. Now that Zack was looking for it, there were a lot of wounds on Court that didn't look their best now.
"Court," Zack whispered sadly. It was strange to hear that kind of tone from Zack. It was strange enough that Court opened his eyes.
"What?" Court asked legitimately.
"What injuries are you referring to?" Zack asked back, eyes flicking to different scars and trying to figure out their stories. "When you say 'happens all the time'?"
Court looked down at the bedsheets. "Just the usual," He whispered.
"And what's the usual?" Zack was pushing. He just hoped not too hard.
"You know," Court shrugged. "Gunshot wounds… knives… the usual."
"That's not exactly usual," Zack replied quickly. "How many times have you been shot?"
Court stared at the ceiling as he thought. "Hmm," He hummed before replying. "Three times, I think."
"How recent?" Zack's eyes darted over Court's body again. Court was breathing and walking fine, so they couldn't have been horrific.
"A couple years ago," Court told Zack as he tapped his right thigh. "The other two a few months back." Court tapped his arm and ribs.
Zack looked at the three spots on Court's body like they'd personally upset him. "How'd they heal?" Zack asked quietly, a hand hovering over Court's thigh.
Zack narrowed his eyes at Court. "What aren't you telling me?"
Court sighed deeply as he looked back at Zack. "The bullet to the arm actually broke a bone," He admitted. "…and I took the cast off before I was supposed to."
Zack shook his head in exasperation and annoyance. "Of course you did."
Court seemed to shrink in on himself at Zack's words, and forced his body to move so he could lie on his side. He faced away from Zack, but the man could see the tension in his shoulders. Shit, he'd fucked up.
Zack shuffled closer to Court, knees brushing against the man's lower back. They sat there quietly for a few minutes, Zack unable to find the right thing to say, and Court pretending not to be hurt by Zack's words. It was stupid anyway— he was just being emotional. Why was he upset over Zack rightfully calling out Court's carelessness?
"Court," Zack called to him, laying a hand on the man's shoulder. "Do any of your past injuries still bother you?"
Court was confused by the question— by Zack pretending not to have upset him, but answered anyway. "No… mostly."
Zack squeezed his shoulder lightly and sighed. "I—" He held Court's shoulder tighter. "I just worry," He admitted.
"Why?" Court asked before he could stop himself. He turned his head to look at Zack over his shoulder.
Zack was surprised by the question— by how confused Court looked to be told someone worried about him. "Why wouldn't I?" He whispered back. "I've known you for years, man. Of course, I worry."
Court's brows furrowed and he turned his head away from Zack. Zack wasn't sure what else to do or say, so he just rubbed a hand gently up and down Court's arm in apology for what he'd said.
Court inhaled shakily and cleared his throat. "I know I need to take care of my injuries," He said suddenly. "It's just— it's hard to care sometimes."
Zack bit his lip but hummed in acknowledgment. "Court, can I ask you something?" He was pretty much taking a massive fucking leap of faith asking this next question. He wasn't sure if Court would answer, shut down, or run…
"Yeah," Court agreed after a pause. "Go ahead."
"Do you ever wait to patch yourself up?" Zack's hand stilled on Court's upper arm. "How—" He stopped himself. One question at a time.
"No," Court shook his head faintly. "I always patch myself up first."
"Yeah, when you finally get back to wherever you're hiding," Zack mumbled to himself and then clarified his question. "Do you push off patching yourself up if it means doing something you know can wait, or doesn't need to be done first?"
Court thought about the security sweep he'd run before entering the hotel. "But I have to—"
"Court." Zack interrupted, angry and worry peeking through his bland tone.
Court shut his mouth. He exhaled shakily before nodding. Yes.
"Court…" Zack repeated his name quietly, sounding melancholy now.
Court pushed his face into the pillow to hide as a few tears escaped. He cried quietly and tried to keep his breathing steady. Zack lay down behind Court and pulled the man's back into his chest.
Court cried louder as Zack wrapped an arm around Court and rubbed his abdomen soothingly. He waited for Court to gather himself, just resting his chin on Court's head as he remained quiet.
Court thoroughly drenched the pillow in tears before he stopped crying. He wiped his face roughly with a hand, once again feeling angry at himself for being so fucking sensitive.
Zack waited till Court took his face out of the pillow to do anything. He kissed the top of Court's head— he was truly at a loss on what to do. That was the first thing he thought of. Don't ask why.
Court dropped a hand down to hold the back of Zack's. Zack started to move his hand away, figuring Court wanted it off him, but Court tightened his grip on him. Zack placed his hand back on Court's stomach and the man relaxed his hold on Zack's hand.
Zack traced patterns into Court's shirt, Court's hand still over his, and felt Court begin to take deeper breaths. "Court?" Zack whispered in the man's hair.
Court rubbed a thumb over Zack's knuckles to tell him he was listening, but otherwise didn't respond.
"How long have you felt like this?" Zack kept tracing Court's stomach.
"A while," Court responded honestly. "Years…"
Zack closed his eyes. "You… you didn't think anything was wrong with that, did you?"
Court shrugged. "Who was I gonna tell?"
Zack pulled the man closer to his chest. "I'm sorry."
Court clenched his jaw as he heard Zack's apology repeat in his head. "Thanks," He replied earnestly.
Zack knew if he kept pushing, Court would shut down or go back to pretending everything was fine, so he just kissed Court's hair again. "Try and sleep?"
Court nodded and held onto Zack's wrist as he started falling asleep.
By the time he was asleep, he was none the wiser that Zack had begun crying silently behind him, guilty and frightened by what he'd learned.
So I was on TikTok and I stumble on a slide video about some Ryan gosling characters. One of them where Driver and I almost exploded because what that person said was so real.
Their account is @pix.innit on TikTok go give them some love
BUT LIKE THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL. DRIVER WOULD HATE TO BE A "ALPHA MALE" MODEL.
Driver is kind, he is gentle and loves people deeply. He HATES that he needed to kill people to keep Irene and Benício safe, also hated that standar and Shannon got killed. He was almost crying the whole movie because everything was going wrong around him.
Also he was nervous. Driver is a really methodical person, he plans everything. But when Standard is killed that whole plan was thrown out the window, he had to improve now and he fucking hates it because it makes him so fucking scared.
He is just like a comment I saw a few years ago, it was under a video of some little cats scared of the person recording it. The person who made the comment said "The one in front of the others trying to protect them is not that older, he is also scared, but there's younger ones so he needs to be brave for them". Like this is so Driver man, he is fucking scared, but he needs to protect the people he loves so he needs to be brave for them.
i was a really big fan how he kept stealing clothes from the bad guys to reup his wardrobe while on the run (also I made the meme myself, please enjoy)
Only God Forgives and the meaning behind the colors in the movie
Ok I have 63 prints and it's 2 am, but I'm not fucking sleeping until I write this down. Unfortunately, i can't use all the prints because of the limit of 30 pictures for a post. So i only used the more important ones :(
All the colors in the movie tells what is happening in the movie, they are there for a reason and im going to talk about what I think each one of them mean.
TW: MENTIONS OF INCEST AND SA
Let's start by the meaning of the colors:
Red: I think red represents violence (obviously) and trauma, especially for Julian. Every scene we see him with red around it, his traumas are brought to light.
Yellow: yellow is normally associated with light, and I think the movie uses that to represent the truth/justice. The moment someone is telling the truth about something or doing "justice" (it's in quotation marks because some characters think what they are doing is justice, but it's not). Also could be mean the hope Julian feels, the hope to be able to move on from all the trauma.
Green: for me green is used to represent the corruption, and hear me out here. Normally we see green and yellow together in the movie, creating a contrast between them, so the green would be here to show the distortion of yellow. Showing that the justice/truth is being brought up in a distorted way, telling that the methods used to bring justice aren't right either. I will explain that more through out the essay.
Blue: well blue is here to do represent sadness and melancholy, and Julian is wearing blue alot of times in the movie. But something i noticed is that in a low beam blue looks like black.
Black: the black means the sense of autonomy. In society people in authority roles uses black to bring them a sense of seriousness, so what I felt is that black is the understanding of authority someone have over themselves, the feeling of identity. It also could mean the darkness of some characters.
White: white is the emptiness, the neutral opinion or the feeling of no regret.
Starting with the first shot of the movie, we see Julian surrounded by red, yellow and black. He steps out of the dark and slowly walks to one of the boxers, being completely in the red light.
Here is the first moment he walks out of the black, the autonomy. This basically resumes his whole character, leaving his autonomy behind to get into his traumas, feeling like he would never get out of this spiral of pain.
Another thing is that his face being half in the dark, showing that even though he has some dark in him, he also has light, and some kind of hope to be free.
Jumping some minutes further we see this moment here. Julian is looking at his brother Billy after the match, with Billy saying that the boxer is a good fighter.
Billy is completely in the dark and we can only see his mouth and his clothes. His mouth being in the yellow light shows that he is telling the truth, but also the red he wears show us the violence he has inside of him.
I noticed that the movie makes some parallels between Julian and Billy. When Billy is mostly covered by the dark, Julian is facing the opposite direction of the yellow light. But he stays in light either way, we still can see his face and his eyes. So we can see his intentions, what he has inside of him, but we can't see Billy's face. We don't know what he is felling and don't know his intentions.
Now we can see Billy's eyes, we know what he is feeling now. But he still stay in the dark, and his eyes look black here, meaning that he has that darkness inside of him. Translating the subtitles, he is saying "time to meet the devil", and right after that he rape and kills a 16 years old. That phrase being a foreshadowing for his death (because we all know that guy deserve to go to hell).
Julian is looking at his hands, the yellow ligth at his face and hands being his wish to be free. The statue behind him casted in red is creating a parallel between them. He wants to be free from the trauma and also have the courage to figth for his autonomy.
Here we see them walking opposite directions, telling us that the path and choices they took are different. Billy is walking in a dark alley, having a beam yellow light in it, now we know how Billy actually is. The red shirt is taking all the attention of the scene, showing that Billy is violent inside of him. Julian however, has red all over him, but not inside of him, the violence is all around him, but he is not violent inside.
Also, we can't see Billy's face here too, completely in the dark. But Julian has his face in light, another diferente between them.
Chang is questioning how he could allow this situation to happen. The green at his face showing his disgust for what happened.
Also, when the green and yellow are tougher it shows the justice distorted. He would bring justice for the mans daughter by allowing him to kill Billy, it's not the conventional way of justice, but it's justice either way. The faint red showing that the violence still have control of the situation.
When i saw this scene, i automatically thought about hypersexuality and the fact that Julian feels like he dosen't have controll over his body. He is tied up on the chair while he watches Mai, the room completly red telling that he is reliving his trauma, but he has control over it now. He gave his consent to Mai so she could tie him, he is tring to seek control over his trauma.
Now here is the firts time Julian tries to reach for his autonomy, he slowly walks to the pich black. He reaches for the hand inside of the room, but his hands are cut off, like he got punished for tring to be in control.
I think this moment show us that he tried to confront his mother one time, he tried to have control over himself and stop har abuse, but then he got severly punish for that.
At the hotel we see a hallway with yellow lights, a foreshadowing of the end of the movie. The justice would go after Crystal, make her pay for what she had done.
The other shot of her at the hotel room is a reflection of Crystal. She has nothing but darknes in her, we can only see her silhouette walking towards the white window. The white could be her emptiness, the fact that she don't feel any kind of regret for what she did.
I think this is my favorite scene. Julian is cleaning his hands with blue all over him. He looks at the mirror and the water turns into blood, then he looks outise and see the red hallway.
This moment could be Julian attempts to feel less dirty and disgusted. Cleaning his hands to make the trauma go away, but it dosen't matters how hard he tries, the violence and the trauma would always get his hands dirty again.
He is so scared now, he scared of getting hurt again. Julian can't take control of himself because he is so scared of the pain that he runs away from freedom, even though it is something he wants so much.
(this is gore of my comfort character)
The position Crystal is, the way he looks scared of her and his face being at the light like always. He can't move, he stays there afraid of what she would do to him, just like when he was infront of the black room.
Julian is so scared of Crystal that he is paralyzed, a common reaction from SA victims. His trauma is all over him again, lliterally. Touching him inappropriately, showing that she stills has power over him after all those years.
The other shot is Crystal standing in front of a lamp with Yellow light. She is ignoring the truth about Billy, something that she does a lot in the movie.
When i talk about the twisted justice by the combination of green and yellow, Crystal is the best character to exemplify that. She thinks that every one involved in Billy's death should die, that would bring justice for her and Billy, but that's not actual justice. Billy was a terrible person just like his mom and got the outcome of his actions, he deserved what happend to him.
(another gore of my comfort character)
At this shot we think Julian is wering a black suit, just like Crystal and Mai. Both of them have control over who they are, when Julian shouts to Mai to take her dress off, she still has black underwer. Even when he wants to give it the humiliation back, she stills has her autonomy.
But Julian is diferent, at the white light we can see that his suit is actually blue. He pretends to have his autonomy to look stronger maybe, he doesn't want to show vulnerability infront of Crystal and Mai.
Then we have this moment, Crystal at the seme place as Julian at the start of the movie and julian at billy's place. Again Crystal infront of the yellow, ignoring all the truth about her and asking Julian to yet again do something violent for her.
The diference is that Julian is not in the dark like Billy, he still has hope and light inside of him, and now is covering all his body. He can't take Crystal abuse anymore and soon he will be free from her, soon the justice will find her.
The yellow light telling Julian that justices was made. Red is not the main color anymore, the abuse cicle has ended, now the main color is black. Julian is finally starting to have his autonomy back.
Here Julian finaly get free from Crystal, Chang brought justice to her and now she lost all the power she had over him. When he cuts her open to touch her womb felt like it was like a Cesarean section. The act of opening her up would be Julian cutting the connection they had, as if he were cutting an umbilical cord. Crystal is no longer connected to him and now he is free from her abuse.
The last scene is Julian extending his hand to Chang, ready to get cut by his sword. Here i see Julian not being afraid of the pain of the autonomy anymore, he is still scared, but now he has enough courage to face it. It also could be Chang setting him free to move on, cutting his hands off as a mathaphor for him braking the cuffs that Crystal put on Julian.
Ok that all. I really wish i could use all my prints, because i have a lot more to say about the colors in the movie. But i wanted to focus more on Julian than the other characters. Julian is such a good character i loved him. Can someone please pay for his therapy???????
Ohhhhh this was really good; I’m not this in the weeds with OGF so I have nothing good to add, but oh my gosh I love this type of analysis. The fucking- the dinner scene and the black and blue and Julian’s lack of autonomy and the victim blaming—him reacting to the victim blaming by trying to symbolically take Mai’s autonomy but her underwear is still black so she retains it in a way that Julian never could.
I have to take this out of tags because there’s such an interesting conversation to be had about it. @midnightmelinda
Julian is a stress test for Ryan Gosling fans. He asks you, the fan/viewer, to look deeper into his subtle acting choices and to appreciate the weird. “If Julian leaves you unfazed, you have Gosling immunity,” might just be the best way to put it. Understanding Julian—and Driver, to a degree, because it’s still Refn—requires effort and intention and demands that you read between the lines. He’s attractive, but it’s not in your face or even really a part of the story, that’s just Ryan Gosling. If you find him attractive here it’s because you find him attractive, not because the story has screamed at you “this is an attractive man!!”
But, Only God Forgives isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That’s fine, it’s not an easy movie to watch. Driver serves much of the same purpose here; they’re for the people who don’t enjoy romcoms.
Sebastian is both the romcom counterpart of the aforementioned phenomenon, and the litmus test for if a person is going to be any amount of normal about Ryan Gosling’s characters. La La Land is, admittedly, in Mia’s perspective. The audience is shown Seb through Mia’s eyes, and it’s up to us to See Him as his own person rather than the set piece that Mia sees him as. He has his own arc that’s half off screen (which is so representative of how Mia pushes his dreams aside for her own) that you have to put effort into understanding. Sebastian is his own person with agency, but he’s not presented that way. Like with Julian, you have to want to understand him before you can even begin to comprehend who he is.
I think Colt is another litmus test, but that’s more for how well you understand RyGos characters in relation to other characters. (ie, do you see his relationship with Jody as toxic or are you blinded by the genre compliant trope of “hero gets the girl”?)
Anything coming out of Nicolas Winding Refn requires two things : to be open to be weirded out in the most colorful sense of the word, and to expect to be uncomfortable in some measure in order to truly connect deeply to the characters.
Drive, and Driver, are a perfect example of that : when the movie goes from somewhat romantic and hopeful to actual ultra violence, you're forced to figure out things almost in a traumatic way because it's like a switch... Oh, so he can be protective and sweet, and then he can bash someone's face unrelently ? If your love for the character doesn't change upon knowing this, then we can talk. If, however, you sweep these aspects of him under the rug (as is often done with the way Driver is perceived), then Refn isn't for you... and to some extent, maybe it's time to question whether Ryan overall is too. Surface level is okay, but any deeper connection to every single one of his characters will require an acceptation of how profound and layered and deeply researched they all are. None of what Ryan does is anything but intentional.
Julian's attractiveness is literally my surface level grasp at him, and most definitely what I got out of my first watch, that took me completely by surprise and left me a little icky and probably insanely confused as well. But it begged me to push back against a certain level of unease in order to pierce through the meaningS of the movie, and they are numerous, complex, and insanely well built. But this required an actual intellectual effort, to accept that nothing in there is easy to figure out, and that some form of projection can completely alter the movie.
If, say, you take the fight scene, you can chose to see it as a choice, as something deliberate from Julian, as a test, as a trial... and at no time does the movie tell you "this is what we implied, this is the meaning we chose, this is what you have to think". You have to swim through the extreme discomfort of not being given something easily digestible served on a plate. And this is why I LOVE when Ryan and Nicolas work together, because they are deliberately pushing the lines further than they were supposed to be and instead of a "simple" movie, you end up with a treasure trove of thought-provocative ideas you are free to use at your own will. Only God Forgives is nothing but layers upon layers upon layers, and the more you dig, the more you find.
Regarding to Sebastian... I had both experiences. When I first saw La La Land back when it got released, I saw it as it was created on the surface level, once again, and hated it. I blamed Sebastian for everything, essentially disliking the character.
When I went back to experience it on a re-release a decade late, that's when I latched onto him and started to consider what his life was, what his dreams were, and why he was constantly belittled by the story and how he was used as some kind of means to an end for Mia. It was enlightening, it actually totally changed how I see the movie, from one I hated to one I now love immensely, but it is Seb that was a game changer.
Dropping the rom-com overlay will give you a very subtle portrayal of neurodivergence, how his obsessions are constantly pointed as not as inspiring or important as the most generic one, how his sacrifices are overlooked, and how he's villainized because it serves the Mia narrative overall. The minute you start seeing things from his point of view is the minute the movie stops being a love story and starts being an accurate and heartbreaking portrayal of what it takes to exist in a world that will constantly force you to become smaller and smaller in order to fit in. It is SO telling that Emma had the oscar and Ryan did not while, and I will die on this hill, he did a better job than she did in terms of layering and adding an actual emotional weight to the second part of the movie. I'll forever be salty about that. She got it out of a song, while he was conveying the damages it causes to sell your soul to become a generic and acceptabe version of yourself for society, rather than your passionate and colorful self. The argument scene is a frustrating example of that : Ryan is out of this world good, his emotional palette there is insane.
As for Colt... yeah, I disagree. I've never seen him as the "hero gets the girl" trope, neither do I think his relationship with Jody is any kind of toxic, it is actually pretty real and grounded. Did she push things a little over the edge by repeatedly setting him on fire ? Yeah, maybe. Even he agreed he deserves it, though, and it's just one or two more takes of something they control pretty well, so... First time she sees him in at least a year, I get the initial shock. It's actually relatable. She gets to live something we've all felt once after being left behind.
Ghosting her wasn't exactly Colt's healthiest choice, but that's what is making them so real and relatable : what Colt underwent, and how it upended his life made him make regrettable choices, but he does not hide, nor does he lie or pretend otherwise. Because of his training, and a certain vision of what life is that came from becoming a stunt guy very early in his life, admitting he is not okay is not in his system, it's probably even hailed as a sign of weakness in a very, very masculine world. Chosing the flight response rather than confronting things upfront was the only thing he could do, in the state of utter fragility he was in, after what is implied as a pretty gruesome surgery and months of PT. He also thought his accident was his mistake, so there is guilt to be taken into account there too. It's no wonder he just shut down. And the way he tells himself he's living the dream constantly until he actually reaches for that inner truth that nope, he's not, and it's been horrible, and he's been miserable is an amazing marker of character growth.
Colt is actually a perfect example of how getting to know himself and emotional growth can lead to a second chance with his perfect girl. They're pretty healthy, to the absolute and unwavering faith Jody has in him : he can't be the murderer despite all evidences proving otherwise, he has to survive the explosion because she remembers he did the Miami Vice stunt show, she has to discuss the ending with him because she knows he will be the intellectual stimulation she needs to figure things out... there is a level of trust between them that is pretty refreshing.
He's not a hero, he said it himself, and even if, technically, he's the hero of the story, he keeps on getting reminded that he's just a stuntman, most of the time not even called by his name, and a prop in everyone else's story. So while I agree wholeheartedly that Julian, Driver and Sebastian are three fairly telling tests, Colt is very different. Plus the very nature of The Fall Guy is far less prone to interpretation than Drive, Only God Forgives and La La Land are because it was built as a three-way entertainment monster (and it succeeds at each of them : a touching and refreshing romance, a comedy that gets to bonkers territory every now and then, and an action movie with some of the most creative stunts seen recently), and is meant to be read as such.
However, if we're talking litmus tests over rom-coms, Jacob is a very frustrating example of blatant mischaracterisation when you keep him at surface level, arguably a stronger one than Colt ever was. It's easy to read him as a womanizer with little to no depth, but the midway point in the movie introduces us to a completely different character whose identity is built over parental trauma, who masks in order to conceal his inner cracks, and has a profoundly gentle nature that's been pushed down because love is actually paralyzing to him. Ryan goes to insane lengths in terms of micro-expressions to shift his overall confident portrayal to something far more subtle, fragile and emotionnaly vulnerable (the bar scene after the fight is such a perfect example of that). Once you start realizing what the soul of the character is made of, the film becomes something different (on the Hannah/Cal/Jacob side at least).
I think you're absolutely right about the way Refn works with light and color to invoke the weird and uncomfortable, it really stands out to me in Drive—through I will admit bias and having watched Drive both more recently and more frequently than I watch Only God Forgives. Violence is highlighted, quite literally, several times throughout the film, while tender moments are dimmer or completely in shadows. The scorpion jacket is an extension of this; it's stark white and reflective, bouncing light back while Driver commits acts of extreme violence. It's missing from a lot of his scenes with Irene and Benicio, with the notable exception of when Driver wraps Benicio in his jacket to cary him to bed, and Irene brings the jacket back out to him. The symbolism is a part of the foreshadowing; Driver will use his violence to protect Benicio (the bullet, the hammer with Cook) and Irene will reject his violence. It's beautifully done, but very few people are willing to look passed a simple walking scene.
Refn experiments and abstracts, and that's never more clear than in Only God Forgives. Crystal is an immediately unlikable character, hurling slurs and dismissing Julian, but she also feels slimy in a way that's difficult to place properly on a first watch. Maybe you're perceptive enough to get the dinner scene on a first watch, but I wasn't—I didn't fully comprehend what the hell was wrong with Crystal and her relationship with her sons until watch 3 or 4 of that dinner scene (though there were some obvious red flags in that scene that I picked up on). You're right, the movie doesn't hold your hand, it doesn't tell you what it's implying, it just implies it and the impetus is on the viewer to put those pieces together.
With Sebastian, wanting to understand his character really is the first step. I'd initially dismissed Seb as just your average romcom love interest until I truly got into Ryan Gosling as an actor. And, to a degree, Sebastian is your average romcom love interest: consistanly boiled down to a handful of bland personality traits and shoved into the everyman position to make him marketable. That's his arc on a textual and metatextual level, and that's why he works so well as the RyGos romcom litmus test.
Respectfully, I have to disagree with you about your reading of Colt. You actually managed to prove my point about his character being a litmus test for how well a person can extrapolate the way Ryan plays interpersonal relationships, though I'm not sure you realized that.
Colt's relationship with Jody is, from a disabled person's perspective, toxic. Its not that she set him on fire unnecessarily several times for her own vindication, its that she slams him into a wall back first several times for her own vindication. The reason that they are no longer together is his career ending back injury that he still struggles with; she's purposefully putting more strain on that barely healed injury while publicly embarrassing him. And it is public embarrassment—Colt specifically asks for privacy for the conversation and was denied because of the pretense they were speaking under.
Even if its something they control well, he's still hitting the wall while on fire, something he admits later really hurts. Even if he says that he deserved it, that does not absolve Jody of the objective harm she caused. If anything, it makes the situation worse because it means that Colt is accepting of his own harm to let Jody indulge in spiteful behavior.
While the shock might be realistic, she's not the only person to have been away from Colt for a year, she's just the one in a position to enact a power fantasy. Jody was clearly insecure about their relationship—and it doesn't appear to be because of an undefined relationship, it looks like real insecurity. She speaks 'through' Aliena here, "Did she misread the vibe? Was it just a fling? Did she let her imagination and run wild again? Or did he lie to her, is he full of shit?" Its that last line which makes me think that this is a her problem. She's pissed about Colt 'ghosting' her.
The thing about being on bed rest and in and out of physical therapy though, is that you're not really doing much of anything else. Its clear that Colt self-isolated, and honestly, that says more about his friends and support system than it says about him. They let him isolate himself, they didn't try to take care of a person experiencing disability for potentially the first time in his life. Do you know how hard it is to do anything by yourself when your back feels like it’s trying to kill you? Its shameful—overwhelmingly its one of the most humiliating experiences—but the people that cared about me would not leave me the fuck alone. Jody was his girlfriend, she should have practically moved in with Colt! If she really cared about him, she would not have been in the position to get ghosted.
I'm not a huge fan of your generalization either: "She gets to live something we've all felt once after being left behind." I don't think about getting violent with the people I've lost contact with, I think about catching up with them, which is what Dan appears to do with Colt.
Of course 'ghosting' Jody wasn't healthy, but that's not what makes their relationship feel real. We see Colt through the lens of his own guilt and self-doubt, so that's the lens through which his relationships are presented. Jody accuses Colt of ghosting him, so that's what we go with, but we don't actually know what happened. What is more likely is Colt getting self conscious and trying to isolate out of shame for his accident and newfound disability, and Jody, like the majority of partners in this situation, "couldn't handle it" so she let the distance grow until it was finally too much and she felt abandoned. The thing that makes their relationship fell real is Jody leaving Colt via his self isolation.
Colt does make regrettable choices, but those are due in large part to his impulsive nature, not—as you are implying—his disability. He feels guilt and shame and he self isolates about his fall; I get that, I write about that. The effect it has on his relationships, however, is not apparent to the average fan. Coming back isn't always easy. Coming back is full of reintroductions and gaps in information and learning about the way people have changed in the interim. This is exemplified in Colt's relationship with Dan—what little we actually see of it—and that's a relatively easy fit. Jody's reintroduction is laced with spite and anger, and that is bound to have an effect on their relationship moving forward.
He does admit that the life he's living is painful, that stunts are painful, that he is in pain. That's your so called marker of character growth, this admission of vulnerability, but you know what he does in the epilogue? He starts a stunt company with Jody at his side and is implied to have gone back to stunt work, the very thing he admits causes him pain. That's not a good sign, I'd even call it self harm enabled in part by Jody.
Colt's emotional growth is almost entirely due to therapy. Like, please let's not forget that he was in therapy—potentially still in therapy during the events of TFG. Unlike other romcom love interests, he grows to better himself for himself; he's healing. Jody takes the very first opportunity to tear into him, publicly. That's not what healthy relationships look like, at all.
Colt clearly cares about Jody, he comes out of retirement because he thinks that she requested him specifically. But Jody? You say Jody has unwavering faith in him but I really don't think that's the case. What Jody has is a presumed dead stuntman who allegedly committed a murder suicide during her movie and the very common knowledge that Colt did stunts for Miami Vice. Maybe that particular anecdote about being so good at the jump that he could do it with his hands tied behind his back was something he just told Jody, but it feels like the kind of story he's told before and frequently. That's one of his achievements and he's proud of it; that's not a Jody exclusive. It is the bare minimum to listen to your partner when they talk about their interests and achievements, even if you don't share the passion that they do; she did the bare minimum and connected it to the situation at hand.
And the phone call about the ending isn't about intellectual stimulation he can provide for her, it's her calling to get his perspective on the real situation that she's turned into a space opera.
The Fall Guy plays so much with genre and it is a disservice to ignore that. It might be less prone to interpretation than films like Only God Forgives, Drive, and La La Land, but that doesn't mean there is nothing to interpret.
The Fall Guy is described as an action rom-com, which it is! But more importantly it’s genre aware and I would go as far as to call it a satire. You are meant to look at the tropes presented to you and the way that TFG bends them, and to reflect on that and what it means for Colt and the rest of the characters at large. Colt isn't the hero, but hero tropes are applied to him because that’s the role he’s supposed to be playing in this story. Jody is the love interest that can do no wrong, despite doing plenty wrong, because the love interest is supposed to be desirable to the hero. The hero gets the girl, that’s the trope—and Colt does! He gets his girl because that’s what heroes do—he's done his hero’s journey; he gets his girl. But “his girl” is a developed character, unlike in other actions, so we get a character (with a role that's) more akin to Mia. Colt is an action hero with a rom-com girlfriend and that’s where this primary disconnect takes place.
On top of that are the mystery elements that define Colt’s relationships with Gail and Ryder; Ryder is a missing person, he’s the case to be solved; Gail is the Watson archetype. Post reveal, these roles change into action movie villain roles; Ryder is the mini-boss/henchman, he’s manipulated by Gail, but he’s still got his own antagonistic part to play; Gail is the bbge, she’s the puppeteer, she’s the person with “the most to lose” and thus the person that drags Colt into this whole mess. Gail is, and this was hilarious to realize, a scooby doo villain! That’s her mystery archetype! She’s unmasked as the real issue in an end of act two twist (with Ryder) but Ryder serves to obfuscate that fact just long enough for Gail to play her sabotaging action role with Jody!
Even ignoring what Jody does, the discontent is BLATANT when comparing how Colt is greeted by her to how he’s greeted by Dan in, what is assumed to be, the same amount of time apart. Dan and Colt slide right back into being friendly with each other. Colt is excited for Dan’s promotion the same way he’s excited for Jody’s, but Dan and Colt share the same genre so their relationship is smooth; Jody and Colt don’t share the same genre, so the exact same excitement is met with immediate scorn. Yes, there is romantic context to take into account, however, it’s Jody that takes an issue with Colt’s actions (Mia parallel), not Colt doing wrong by her.
The thing is, Colt isn't a litmus test for rom-coms, he's a litmus test for how well a person understands the relationships (romantic, platonic, and familial) that Ryan portrays. You bring up Jacob and his mischaracterization when looking at his surface, and you're right about that, but it's not for the same reason that I mentioned Colt. Your argument for Jacob's place in this conversation would be better suited against Seb, not Colt.
These are so good!! Once I’m back at my computer I’ll add them to the playlists (also I’m dying over the fucking shirtless Jacob photo being on his it’s amazing 😭😭😭)
sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "mmmhmmm okay yeah i see we both interpreted that differently based on what the show gave us, but i see how you arrived at your ideas even if they're different from mine," and then sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "brother what show did you even fucking watch"
