Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Regression as a trauma response, War and Amputation talk. I promise it isn't all sad, there’s alot of soft stuff too!
Dana and Benji are married in this, but not together. Lavender marriage vibes basically. But we love him, okay? He's nice to Jack.
Jack’s childhood wasn't pretty. It wasn't gentle care and kissed foreheads and happy meals at the dinner table. You don't end up where Jack has in life through that. No, Jack's childhood was gnashing teeth and bandaging himself alone in his bedroom. It was yelling and not eating, it was eating alone in his room on the occasions he did eat. It was stealing food from the school cafeteria or from local shops.
Jack’s childhood was setting his eyes on the military when he was 15 and working hard every minute after that. It was his way out. Jack's childhood ended on his 18th birthday when he enlisted in the military. He was shipped off to boot camp a few weeks later.
Jack loses his leg at 27. Eight long years of serving the army and all he gets is an ‘honorable discharge’. He sure as hell didn't feel very honorable. Alone in a hospital room, with a stump where his leg should be and a war still raging in his mind.
When he thinks back many years later, he realises this is when the regression started. Alone in the hospital room. It wasn't obvious or loud like some other people's. It was quiet, terrifying; pulling the blankets up to his chin and flinching violently whenever his door opened because what if it was Daddy?
But Jack gets through it. Through gritted teeth, he gets through the depression and physical therapy. Out of spite more than anything. Because fuck the army and fuck anyone who thought he was some kind of a hero. Fuck all of them. He drags himself out of his grave and into PTMC. He makes a life for himself.
It never goes away, though. The quiet, terrified feeling he'll get sometimes. The moments where he's just a young lad again, cold and shivering out on the porch hoping that maybe Daddy will let him back inside soon. Maybe he won't have to sleep out here again. But Jack learns how to hide it. And learns how to make Robby not question why sometimes during hangouts Jack will go quiet, very quiet, and stare at the whisky Robby was nursing like it was a weapon.
Life drones on as normal for a very, very long time. Until Robby goes on vacation for 2 weeks and Jack is on shift with Dana during that time. She reads him like an open book. She sees when he gets quiet and unfocused and has to excuse himself to the breakroom. She notices. And she sits with him. She doesn't question. She doesn't judge. She just sits.
“If you ever need someone to sit with when you feel... Off... You have my number and address.”
Jack doesn't go over often. No, he's better than that. He has more self restraint than that. But everytime he does... Dana's there. She'll sit with him all night if he needs it. She won't judge if he ends up crying. She doesn't yell like Daddy does. She doesn't hit him and always makes sure he's eaten. She even tucks Jack into bed with a kiss on the forehead and a “night, bug. you sleep well, okay? ‘m just down the hall” Every damn time, no matter what.
And Benji is nice enough. He gives Jack space, but also will let him sit on the floor by his feet when a game is on. He doesn't drink when Jack is over without having to be told. He doesn't seem to mind at all, really. He's a nice guy. Not like Daddy.
And, when Dana learns from an offhand comment from Robby that Jack had never had a stuffed animal... Well she knows that simply won't do. So she asks Benji for some help picking out a stuffed animal that was ‘boyish’ enough for Jack to accept. And they buy it for him. A simple dark brown teddy bear, and it comes with a little firefighter outfit.
Jack cries hard when he gets given it. It's the first and only time (for a while) that he calls Dana ‘Mommy’. His quiet, sweet, tearful voice replays in both Dana and Benjis minds for a very, very long time. And Jack never comes to Dana's without it after that. And if Dana notices that he carries it in his rutsack he brings to work? Well, she doesn't say a word.
Jack doesn't have little gear other than that. He has a couple blankets at Mommy's Dana's place that he likes, but they're as much theirs as they are his. And he wasn't a big fan of toys. He never had them as a real kid, so they don't bring him any comfort now. And he doesn't like sports because he doesn't like wearing his prosthetic much when little.
But he likes sitting and watching sports games with Benji, or whatever TV Mommy likes watching. And he likes laying down with his head in Mommy's lap while she reads to him. And when Benji takes him to pick a kitten from the shelter for them to take home? Florence (Flori for short) becomes Jack's bestest friend. She's names after Florence Nightingale, of course. And Jack likes to take longgggg naps with her curled up on his chest, purring. He never has bad dreams with Florence around. She keeps him safe!
Jack never does outwardly tell Robby. He's not sure if Robby ever figures it out, but if he did he never said anything. But he does consider it, when Frank regresses at work for the first time. And again when the new runts come about and so many of them seem to regress too. But he never does.
He does, however, let Cassie find out. She and Mommy were very close, and if Mommy trusted her, he did too. So one day, he lets Cassie come over while he's feeling... Tiny. She's very quiet and gentle. And Florence likes her. So that's enough for Jack to like her too. She does good voices when reading to him, too. So yeah, Cassie was fun. But he doesn't tell anyone else for a long, long while. He doesn't need to. He's happy with his Mommy and his Benji and his Cass.
Baran had been around for a few months when Jack tells her. He doesn't even tell Dana he's going to. He just.. Decides to. Because he'd been getting closer with her. He trusted her. So, one day, during one of their text conversations, he broaches the topic. He explains it all very thoroughly, makes sure it's clear this was a trauma response and not something inappropriate. And Baran... She takes it wonderfully. She's gentle, considerate and curious without being pushy. She asks questions, praises Jack for being brave, and offers herself to look out for him if he ever needs it.
And when he does end up regressing around her — an involuntary event brought on by some asshole setting off fireworks in the middle of April — she's good about it. She calms him down, and distracts him. She makes him feel safe without forcing him to talk about the scary bits. But when he does decide to open up about his Daddy in the middle of dinner... Well, Baran very calmly listens and assures him that what his Daddy did was very, very wrong.
So yeah, sure, Jack wasn't having playdates and massive stuffed animal collections like some of the other littles. He wasn't regressing a bunch at work or using a pacifier. But he had his own little family. He had his Mommy, his Benji, his Cass and his Baran. And that was more than enough for him.
