#(bonus:

[eleni-ventos]

press: “… How much time have you spent in saunas preparing?”

piastri: “I haven’t spent any time in a sauna, no. But I’ve got a few portable heaters and a small bathroom and an exercise bike, so [laughs], it’s, yeah, you can cause yourself a lot of discomfort, a lot of pain, so I do that for the benefit of my performance.”

[valentine-leclair]

humans are space orks: sleeping with stuffed animals

first of all, I just noticed how werid that name is. Like, youre making it sound like humans enjoy sleeping with dead stuffed animal carcasses. Second, here's how that conversation would go:

Alien: "What is this?" Picks up medium sized purple monkey toy. Squish, squish.

Human: Looks over. "What are you

Human: "Oh my gods give that back right now."

Alien: Confused as the toy is snatched away, trying to reach for it. "But what is it though??"

Human: "It's- it's nothing! S' just Angel. Don't touch her."

Alien: " ' Her? ' "

Alien: "... It looks like a male to me."

Human: "WELL, IT'S NOT. SHE. SHE'S NOT. ahem. I keep Angel next to my pillow at night while I sleep."

Alien: "Why...?"

Human: "For comfort and protection."

Alien: "Oh, can it engage in combat?"

Human: "Of course not."

Alien: "Does she alert you of intruders?"

Human: "No. She doesn't even have a voice box."

Alien: "... Then how could it possibly bring you comfort and protection?"

Human: "By sitting there? Like, duh."

[earthsparked]

It just slips out as you climb out of Optimus’ enormous hands, cupped supportively around you. Thanks, dad!

Across the room, Ratchet drops a wrench with a ping and clatter onto the concrete. Jazz bursts into cackles and hoots of laughter. Bumblebee bzzts and hides his face behind his mask, also laughing but trying not to let you see.

You freeze, cringing like you’ve never cringed before. You did NOT just call this military-robo-Pope older than your entire species, “DAD.” You did NOT just call this mech, who is effectively your boss as a cultural ambassador to an entire alien species, “DAD.”

Except you did, and your face is flaming red as you slowly turn to him, apologies springing to your tongue as you imagine with a sinking heart the thrashing you’re going to get from your human handlers when they find out you’ve insulted the leader of the Autobots. Oh god, the Decepticons are going to take over your planet because your parents divorced when you were young and then your father died and it’s been so, so long since you had anyone in your life who made you feel like Optimus does, safe and cared for and wanted. You had started to take it for granted, how gentle he was with you, how it healed something deep inside you every time he picked you up in servos you’d seen rip into Decepticons as if their armor was tinfoil.

You didn’t even feel a flicker of worry anymore in the moments Optimus, a being the size of a living building who could crush you by accident, moved around you with thunderous, titanic footsteps. And when he moved you with the confidence of a father absent-mindedly tugging their toddler out of the way of danger.

You’d gotten too used to it, had come to crave it. And now you went and ruined everything and - no, you have to fix this RIGHT NOW.

I, I’m so sorry, it’s a human thing, sometimes we get words wrong, I apologize sir. You can’t look him in the optic. Maybe he’ll take your lowered eyes and dipped chin as the act of apology, submission, desperation it is. Your heart is pounding and even in the cold air of the base, nervous sweat is breaking out on your skin.

-He’s silent. Why hasn’t he said anything?!

You hold your breath as Optimus’ huge shadow falls over you, and his servo moves closer. One finger bigger than your entire body brushes under your chin, tipping your head up so you have to look at him. Dreading what you’ll see, you capitulate.

And he’s -

The look on his face is not like anything you’ve ever seen. No, wait. You’ve seen it once. When Bumblebee was badly injured, and Optimus stayed by his side around the clock until he was out of danger, talking to him in deep, soft warbles and trills of a language you didn’t understand.

Why is he looking at you like that?

You are welcome, ambassador, is all he says, but you don’t miss the way he lets his servo stroke gently - fondly - brushing your hair out of your eyes, before turning and walking away. Leaving you on the scaffolding that leads to your office, as his footsteps reverberate through you.

He speaks to the others, briskly interrupting their joking, wrangling them like a herd of cats as he changes the subject to the patrol assignments. You look after him, a series of complicated feelings bubbling up in your chest, none of which let you get a word out. Eventually, you turn and make for the shelter of your office, to hide yourself in emails and reports.

Unaware as you go, due to the increasing distance between you - of the tendrils of energy reluctantly wisping away from you where Optimus’ powerful EM field had wrapped itself around you, as intuitively and automatically as it had wrapped around his sparklings so many millennia ago.

You couldn’t pick up on what he was thinking - not yet, anyway, you were sharp and intuitive and empathetic. But he had to wonder, how shocked would you have been to know, as he went about his duties, part of his processor was taken up with thoughts of how fortuitous it was that both your species had found something they needed, in this alliance of mechanical and organic life?

How long had it been since he’d held something small and soft and so alive, so precious? Was it ever since he had doomed his people to a slow extinction?

Such thoughts were kept strictly to himself; these organics are sentient, deserving of respect, and you are an adult by your own people’s reckoning, even if his spark aches with a painful warmth now to know you feel this connection, too. Even if you seem even less willing to acknowledge it than he is - and he will follow your lead. Or at least that’s what he tells himself.

The others aren’t fooled; that laughter had been directed at him, though he doubts you realize that. They know him too well, see his solicitous treatment of you for what it is, what it really means in their society.

Ratchet huffs and comms him on a private line.

Just tell them. You’re not going to chase our allies away because you’re going broody. And it’s not good for your systems, fighting those subroutines every klik. I doubt it’s good for them, either.

Optimus pings him a thank you and a message not as sardonic as he could have made it. Your wisdom is appreciated, old friend.

Ratchet gives him a Look with his EM field, but Optimus keeps the talk to business. Not fooled for a minute. Knowing he’s not the only one keeping a sensor or three trained on the little being in their nook, just across the way.

[leefelixsgaybestie]

Does anyone else think that Tsumiki probably reminded Satoru a lot of Suguru?

Because I think that. And I can't stop thinking it.

[arty-e]

I’ve been playing tomadachi life and I got Mahira and Alvis to fall in love and get married and it inspired me to draw them like this

Modern western style wedding and modern Indian style wedding (Alvis is looking for his initials in Mahira’s mehndi)

(Oh yeah Dylan sang at their wedding)

[simonblackquillshusband]

WAA defense attorneys ranked on how bad they'd be to deal with as a witness on the witness stand, from best to worst, in my personal opinion:

Phoenix: he's gonna be pressing basically everything you say (but that could probably be said of all of them) and you'll probably witness some of the most incredible bluffing you've ever seen but all and all as long as you aren't the real killer you're probably not going to have too bad of a time. Running into him while he's investigating might be another story, I imagine being on the other end of psyche-lock breaking would be an interesting experience to say the least, but that's besides the point rn.

Athena: you thought you were just here to give your testimony? Too bad, impromptu therapy session, go. Can't imagine getting emotionally dissected in front of the entire courtroom would be the ideal scenario for most people. On the other hand tho you are getting a free therapy session (and there's a chance you might even walk away from it with a diagnosis) so... Pros and cons. She might also get a touch overzealous during cross examination.

Apollo: get perceived, idiot. I shudder to imagine what being on the receiving end of his perception would be like. Just extremely intense. Very loud also. You're going to learn way more about your own nervous ticks than you ever wanted to know.

Honorable mentions:

Mia: while she was alive she was probably the most chill to deal with out of all of them. After her death, witnessing her randomly get spirit channelled mid trial might be a little unnerving tho.

Trucy: can be surprisingly frightening for a teenage girl dressed for a magic performance. Smiling sweetly while she stares into your soul. Very intense. If she's at the bench beside Apollo you're getting intensity×2. Probably would feel a bit like being a bug under a magnifying glass. Possible Mr Hat jumpscare.

[xxtha-blog]

You’ve awakened something primal in me cus I completely forgot about Dream’s inability to understand jokes and stuff like that- (along with the other things he doesn’t quite understand like love)

I’m curious about on your take with that actually- How do you think Dream would understand or react to love? And I mean love in all the aspects of it- like romantic, platonic, familial, etc.

(Also silly add-on: Do you think Reaper would ever ask Dream about it and if Dream’s understanding is a bit wrong, do you think Reaper would help teach him)

This will perhaps be slightly headcanon as I have to extrapolate from canon a bit, but it's pretty similar to what I saw with canon:

(Also midly suggestive discussion as I will talk about sexual attraction warning)

I think love might be the one emotion Dream understands the least.

At least of the ones he can feel, I'm sure technically hatred gets that spot since his soul prevents him from feeling it but—

Out of the emotions he feels, he understands love the least, why? Well because there's just too many ways it happens. Too many directions it can goes, and too many physical experiences it brings that are not necessarily the same as emotions. And maybe he's in denial a little too.

Let me explain:

Let's consider attraction being not just an emotion, but an emotion + a direction/intention. Dream only ever experiences the emotion part but doesn't know the direction that emotion is going towards.

Let's consider too that attraction can cause physical experiences as well that are also not the core emotions. Arousal would not be an emotion but an emotion + physical experience.

Dream is demiromantic asexual. He identifies himself as a man, but has a sexless body and clearly zero instinct for reproduction. Anything sexual is about as interesting to him or not interesting as someone telling him of a random leafy bush exclusive to the continent of Europe. He doesn't understand it. He understands the emotion behind it, whether positive or negative but not the physical feelings attached to it. So, he doesn't really understand it any differently than any other form of love. He will eventually know it exists but it's mentioned in so many different capacities that you probably could reference it and he would not get it. It simply doesn't cross his mind very often. It also generally happens behind closed doors, behind innuendo, and suggestion (he's bad at picking that up remember) so he doesn't come across it very often in general and thinks about it even less. Maybe that's why I can write him so well LOL (Me too, Dream, me too.)

For romance, he understands it a little bit better, but still not great. Consider how romance is seen differently across basically every culture ever. Dream understands exactly 0 of these cultural attitudes towards it. He finds people can be in love and be friends, people can be in love and kiss, people can be in love and hate each other. You can just kind of do whatever, any time, for any reason, if the other person consents. Not only that but love is a combination of many emotions. Maybe it's gratitude. Maybe it's joy. Maybe it's a bubbly giddiness. Maybe it's embarassment. Maybe it's longing. Hard to say what is and isn't love when love could be the culmination of almost all positive and even some negative emotions. The only distinguishing factor is a mental direction towards someone, and Dream can't read minds.

And, we get to his aura. Oh his aura. If love is the culmination of positive emotions and Dream's aura is the constant exhuding of all positive emotions, then everyone around him experiences the beginnings of potential 'love' towards him. Every time he's around, they feel significantly better after all. On top of the fact he helps people, saves people, is altruistic and caring to a fault, real one-two punch for the average person helped by him. But if someone does fall in love with him, how can he ever be sure that they actually love him? What if his aura is just simulating the feeling of being happier around someone? What if their mind is mistaking that as their directional attraction?

What if he feels really positive emotions from someone that seem like love, but are, in their mind, an extreme platonic attaction? He'd never jump to conclusions. Which is why I think it's peak funny to write Dream somewhat oblivious toward all romantic advances toward him. Yeah, sorry, you just have to tell him straight up. Yeah, no, no amount of giving him flowers or chocolates is going to make him understand. Friends can give flowers too, sorry. Yeah, I know he has empathy powers, doesn't help you here. Yeah, he knows you like him a lot, but that could mean anything and maybe he's even hoping it's not romantic love because then he'll feel so bad turning you down.

And, what if HE'S not in love with someone but instead feeling THEIR emotions toward him. He's demiromantic, only attracted to people he's known for long times, and he can't know people for long times because knowing people for long times makes them more and more and more suseptible to his aura. But he can feel their positive emotions toward him. Is that a false love, too?

Back to his aura — Maybe not everyone, maybe not even most people, but the few times someone has, the times someone thought they were truly in love with him and couldn't handle the rejection of him saying no because his aura, perhaps at a weak moment in their life, had burned away their belief in finding happiness without it like a drug, makes him think well—

Maybe romantic love was never for him to understand at all. Maybe he's just not allowed to.

And all this says nothing of familial love, because he loved Nightmare more than anything, or the platonic love he feels in his heart for everyone and everything. He loves people so dearly. He adores them. He loves animals and he loves monsters and he loves humans and that love is part of his drive to help people, so he understands it better than anything and maybe he tries to use it to understand the rest.

That's how I see it anyways.