“ baby steps ” || tokyo rev. pt. 2
continuation of this post.
pairings: bonten x fem!reader [ kaku, rin, koko ]
warnings: mature content ahead. MDI. mature language, crude humor, mild angst w/ comfort (mostly comfort), deadbeat!bonten (unintentionally), more on the lighter side compared to the first parts, this one doesn’t feel as “:((“, mentions of misbehavior and it’s slightly glorified? vandalism? and i think that’s it :))
notes: IF YOU SAW THE FIRST DRAFT/ACCIDENTAL POST OF THIS NO YOU DIDNT 🫵🏾😀. God this took me so so long, I kept changing ideas, and then getting new ones on top of those changes and ugh, and the next thing I know it’s FREAKING MIDNIGHT AND I HAVE WORK IN SIX HOURS :D but it’s fine it’s fine b/c it is DONE. Thank you so so so much for your patience, and I hope you enjoy!
notes ii: not proof read, probably loads of typos, but will edit accordingly.
tagged: @fantasycantasy , @illegalspacecow , @captaincyberqueen , @cherryblossiren , @niragiswhore , @awkwardaardvarkforever , @valentsoup , @lovely212 , @miffysoo , @yandere-kouhai , @i-am-just-a-girl-ur-honor , @wisteriarose214 , @kindadolly , @yuwaimo , @sweetbella1221 , @simpingfor-wakasa , @sirachano0dles , @yutahg , @slowlikehonee , @blurpleuni-squid , @haruchiyoreen , @istanstraykidss , @loyard176 , @msluccapotato , @luv444lay , @backgroundcharactera , @jegelskeranime , @magalimachete
KAKUCHO felt a lot of things at the moment. It ranged from nausea, to anticipation, to straight up panic as if he were actively being hunted for sport. But, instead of imminent danger, he was standing in the middle of the parking lot outside of your apartment building, flowers in hand, dressed in his Sunday’s best.
Cliche? Yes. Over the top? Absolutely.
But he was willing to risk his pride if it meant showing you his devotion, his determination in making things right. With every step he took, growing closer and closer into your world, into the world he chose to leave in the first place, his heart harshly thudded in his ears, thankfully drowning out those doubtful thoughts that plagued him ever since he saw you beneath those cherry blossoms not too long ago.
Before he knew it, he was standing at your door.
His grip around the flowers was deathly, blood cold as ice, sweat forming at his hairline. Kakucho gulped, reaching up to tug at his collar. The suit was tailored, and yet it never felt more suffocating. He could faintly hear your son’s screams of joy just beyond the door, followed by your sweet voice. It was pretty late, and Kakucho assumed the little guy would’ve been in bed by now. This only added more stress to his full plate. It would be hard enough trying to face you again, but to face your child as well? His flesh and blood?
“Oh, god…” he muttered, the reality starting to cave in.
He couldn’t do this…he wasn’t ready. Maybe he could try again tomorrow…or the next day…or the next— The front door clicks.
Next thing he knew, it was wide open. And there you stood, son on your hip and all. Kakucho had never felt more unworthy of such a tender sight in all his life, wanting nothing more than for whatever god above to smite him down so that he may die a happy man. You looked so healthy, face fuller and curves to show how kind the years have been. Your son eyed Kakucho curiously, fist in his mouth as he suckled on his hand. His eyes nearly popped out of his head, feeling like a bug under a spotlight. His lips trembled, words lost with only chopped intakes of air in their place, and soon came the tears.
You didn’t look angry. You didn’t even look perturbed.
If anything you looked…expectant. As if you were awaiting his arrival.
“[_]-..[____]…” he eventually spoke, meekly. You offered him a small smile, adjusting the boy from one hip to the other. “I..I don’t.. how’d you…?”
You gestured to the flowers. “Ms. Toshinori called. Said an old ‘regular’ came by requesting a big order of my favorites. And that she was happy to hear that we were… working things out.”
Kakucho’s brows furrowed. Then, came realization. It didn’t even occur to him where he was purchasing the flowers from, it’d been so long, he didn’t think twice. He used to visit Ms. Toshinori’s little flower shop on his way home from work just to see your smile. He supposed old habits die hard. “At first, I thought she was mistaken, chalked it up to old age and… I didn’t really have the heart to correct her. But, then I saw you standing in the parking lot. For quite a while.”
Kakucho flushed, gaze shifting away. You chuckled, your son resting his head on your shoulder while he fiddled with your necklace. “By the time you decided to come up here, I had already made up my mind. Figured if you’re going through all this trouble, then…it couldn’t hurt to pretend just this once.”
“Pretend..?”
“…That we’re working things out.”
Kakucho felt a slight pang, a bitterness blooming from the pit of his stomach and into his throat, like bile after a long night of drinking. A weak smile grew on his face, “For how long.. would we pretend?”
He spared a glance at you both, soaking in as much of it as he could in case it would soon be the last. You hummed in thought, reaching up to take the necklace’s charm out of your son’s mouth. “Not sure. This little one can play pretend for hours, sometimes days.”
You gently bounced your son making him giggle, snuggling his face into your shoulder. Kakucho’s smile grew wobbly, catching on quick to what you were insinuating. “I see…well. Lucky for all of us, I’ve got plenty of time to play pretend…”
Gnawing on your lower lip, you gave him a look that was full of yearning, years worth of unspoken words and unanswered questions hidden in the storm that was your gaze. Kakucho probably didn’t look any different, the dark circles under his eyes could tell a thousand stories. All of them with one ending—You. Always you.
Looking down at your son, you looked back at Kakucho with a tender smile and gestured to the flowers once more, “Trade ya?”
Kakucho stiffened, eyes widening ever so slightly. “Won’t that…upset him?”
“Trust me.” You reassured, already in the process of handing him over. Kakucho stuttered in his steps, especially when your son was already reaching out to him, content. “He’s real cuddly. When you’re calm, he’s calm.”
You happily took the flowers from his hands, noticing the poor stems had been slightly crushed beneath his iron grip. Kakucho adjusted his hold on the boy, making sure he was comfortable, and not weirdly positioned. “Seems rather…dangerous, don’t you think? For him to be ok in a stranger’s arms so…easily?”
“Not if that stranger is his father.”
His breath hitched. Kakucho felt that lump in his throat grow, making it hard for him to swallow. Watery eyes gazed down at the small child as he reached up to trace his scar, curious eyes taking him in, no fear, no disgust…just pure. Kakucho allowed a few tears to fall, blessed to be in this moment when he felt in his soul that he didn’t deserve it.
“What’s…what’s his name?”
After inhaling the sweet scent of the flowers, a warmth spread through you that you hadn’t felt in a while. You knew this wouldn’t automatically make things ok again, it would take some time, some more healing to even scratch the surface. But with him right back where he belonged, safe and alive, and with you…you figured this was at least a start. You watched as father and son interacted for the first time, savoring the memory so that it’s deeply etched into you like a tattoo. And with a gentle hum, you replied.
“Izana.”
You wasted no time high tailing it out of the gym.
After the initial shock passed, RINDOU didn’t even have the chance to make awkward small talk with you before you’re giving him a half-assed “thanks”, turning heel and booking it for the nearest exit. The last thing he saw before you disappeared through the doors was the confused, but sad look on little Rintaro’s face as he waved goodbye.
He couldn’t even blame you for the abrupt exit. With how he ended things with you way back when…he wouldn’t want to speak to him either.
Rindou stood there, feeling a little…lost. Discombobulated? He couldn’t exactly pinpoint the word, but he knew he didn’t like it. Does he just go about his day? Continue his workout, then go home like none of this happened? Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. Not when he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, those little contextual clues given to him by the young boy, that he wouldn’t piece together until he was already laying in bed that night, wide awake.
Roughly four years…mom is his ex…no dad in the picture…
“Shit.” He cursed into the darkness.
—
With the street lights illuminating his path, guiding his muscle memory to surroundings he remembered all too well from many nights in the past, Rindou couldn’t sleep without knowing the truth, without having some sort of closure to the numerous thoughts that wouldn’t allow him a wink.
Wearing nothing but old sweats and hoodie, he practically raced through the night until he was standing outside of the diner you, hopefully, still worked at. It was one of those open late joints, a ‘ma and pop’ sorta spot where the atmosphere and food always made it seem like coming to a second home. Frantically, he looked through the store window, panting to the point where you could see his breath fogging the glass. He was begging, praying to catch a glimpse of your familiar frame, not knowing what else he would do to find answers if you weren’t there. Certainly you long blocked his number, no doubt moved out of the apartment you also shared many nights in together…
Knock, knock, knock.
Rindou jumps in his skin, not expecting the intruding sound to cut through his internal crisis. It wasn’t a harsh sound, if anything it barely held any weight behind it. He looked around, eyes wide with caution…had he cracked? Hearing things now?
Knock, knock, knock.
He blinked in mild annoyance, thinking someone was dicking with him until, in his peripheral, he saw little hands waving at him from below. Rindou looked down, and didn’t know whether to be relieved or unnerved. There, in all his excitement of seeing his new gym buddy again, Rintaro waved at Rindou with a big smile, cheers of his name muffled through the glass. His prayers were answered; you did still work there.
“Rintaro, are you being a good boy like mommy asked..?”
When you came back to the front to the sound of your child celebrating, imagine your absolute horror to see your ex not once, but twice in the same day, standing outside your work. It was a hex, someone was definitely out to get you, or maybe the universe was testing your resilience, throwing mistakes from your past directly in your face like salt in the wound. Years it’s been since he tore your heart into pieces, years since those double lines appeared on the pregnancy test, years goddammit—So why now?
All that work of actively avoiding him, wasted, just because you wanted to work off a little bit of the baby weight, and couldn’t find a sitter. For a split second, you had the crazy thought that if you stood perfectly still, maybe he would get creeped out and leave. But, haven’t you learned by now that the universe wasn’t on your side? Your son was just tall enough to reach up and unlock the front door to the shop before you had the chance to stop him, with just one push of his tiny, sticky little fingers and your past merges in with your present.
“Rin-Rin!” He chanted as Rindou hesitantly opened the door, the bells chiming like a bad omen as he crossed the threshold. Rintaro extended his arms up, wanting to be picked up.
The walking mullet looked as if he was being asked to perform surgery, wide eyes darting between you and your son, as if uncomfortable to deny and uncomfortable to comply. He doesn’t ponder for long, testing the waters by granting the little boy his wish, picking him up and holding him securely to his side. Rintaro squealed, excited giggles escaping him for being so high off the ground. You couldn’t help but find the scene endearing…but there was no overshadowing the fatass elephant in the room.
You crossed your arms, awaiting for him to break the awkward tension, if he dared to do so. And to your surprise, he does. Rindou cleared his throat, holding Rintaro with one arm while the other rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh…hey.”
You raised a brow. Hey?? You remained silent, not dignifying that wack attempt at conversation with an answer just yet. If he squirmed, then so be it. It was the least you deserved. Rindou winced slightly at the silence, taking it as a bad sign.
“Didn’t think you’d still be here, of all places...”
“And where’d you think I would be?”
He shrugged, “Dunno…not here.”
You scoffed, “Yeah, well, bills gotta be paid and mouths gotta be fed. Didn’t exactly have many options. Besides, I don’t want to go anywhere else. The Nakamura’s have always treated me well. The pay’s good, and Rintaro gets to eat for free.”
Rintaro beamed, “I eat all my vegables!”
Rindou couldn’t help the small lift in the corner of his mouth. “That’s good. You’ll be big and strong in no time.”
The boy nodded eagerly, his enthusiasm infectious. Looking at him this closely, Rindou felt his chest tighten more and more as the truth he was looking for was staring him right in the face, babbling on about the heroes, or how many chicken nuggets he can eat in one sitting. It was like white noise in the moment, his eyes too busy taking in every eyelash, every freckle, every detail that so blatantly screamed Rindou Haitani.
“Rin.”
Both boys snapped from their stupor, turning their heads to look at you simultaneously. It was habitual to call him by his nickname, one that was also occasionally used for your son, and to have them both respond in that moment just felt like too much. You shakily inhaled, arms tightening around you like a hug, shielding from the unfortunate circumstances that you were gonna have to face head on. “Rinta. Will you be a sweetheart and help Mrs. Nakamura count the silverware? But only the spoons, ok?”
“But, mommyyy! Rin-Rin just got here! I wanna-!”
“Oi. Listen to your ma, little man.” He affirmed, setting him on the ground. Rintaro pouted up at him, but only received a playfully stern look. “We’ll talk again soon.”
Rintaro huffed, “Promise?”
Rindou hesitated, looking up at you. You served no aid as you avoided it, merely telling Rintaro once more to help in the back room. He sighed, “Yeah…maybe.”
The little boy deflated, but listened all the same as he ran to the kitchen through the swing-doors. You exhaled, pinching the bridge of your nose. The two of you stood in silence, neither one eager to speak on what’s obviously troubling you both. Rindou sighed once more, walking over to a nearby table, flipping one of the chairs that was stacked on top to set it back on the floor. He does the same for the one across from him, a silent invitation that doesn’t go unnoticed…but it is ignored.
“What are you doing here, Rin?”
He ran a hand through his hair, “Tsk. Couldn’t sleep.”
“Don’t bullshit me.” You hissed, making sure to be mindful of your volume. “The gym was mere coincidence, but you came looking for me here. Why?”
“...Thought that’d be obvious.”
“Jesus,” you dryly chuckled, looking at him incredulously. “All this time, and you’re still an avoidant asshole. Can you just, for once, speak directly.”
Rindou frowned, “You want direct? Fine. That’s my goddamn son in there, and I wanna know why you’ve kept him from me-”
“Shh!” You quickly shushed, looking over your shoulder. “Keep your voice down.”
“Now who’s being avoidant.” He leaned back in the chair, one arm hanging over the back. “Well?”
“You know what, you’ve got some nerve demanding anything from me, from us. You gave up any involvement in my life when you decided that you didn’t want me anymore. That you didn’t want more with me, remember that?”
He did. Remembered like it was yesterday.
It was textbook, what was suppose to be casual sex gets ruined when feelings get involved. But, you weren’t even the first to fall. He was. And at the time, that frightened him. So much to the point he was willing to lie to avoid his own feelings, willing to hurt you to save face…a coward. And he wore that label ever since.
“It doesn’t matter…you still…still could’ve told me. I was a piece of shit, but I…I wouldn’t have let you go through that alone. You never should’ve went through that alone…”
The way he looked at you, with such sorrow…you could feel a crack in your resolve. With a scoff, you eventually find yourself taking the seat across from him, but angled away from him. He visibly relaxed, taking this as some form of resignation; a truce.
You fiddled with your fingers, looking down. “You were all he could talk about.” You muttered. Rindou hummed in question, leaning forward. “Rintaro. He was non-stop with how much he learned from you today, how big and strong you were…how he couldn’t wait to see you again.”
Rindou sat in silence, listening intently. You continued. “I love that little boy. With all my heart. And I want nothing but the best for him…and for the longest time I believed that couldn’t be you. And I think that’s why…I never told you.”
He swallowed, nodding stiffly. It wasn’t easy to hear, but he understood. You could both hear the faint chatter and clanking of Rintaro and Mrs. Nakamura in the back, filling the silence with something other than the weight of your words. “I’m sorry…for everything. I wasn’t…you needed me and I wasn’t there for you. I still regret it to this day. And I’ll continue to regret it knowing what you’ve gone through-”
“But.”
He paused, then perked up like a hound. “..But?”
“But, I’ll reconsider this if you can show me you’re committed. Not just to me…but to Rintaro. He doesn’t need someone who will come and go from his life, if you don’t think you’ll be a constant-“
“I do. I-I want to be. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
You nodded, slowly, considerably. “Promise?”
He nearly snorted, the childish request reminding him all to well of the little someone just mere feet away sorting through spoons. Rindou crossed his heart, and extended his pinky. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, yet your humored him anyway by linking yours together.
“Promise.”
“Good,” you grinned. Then turned towards the kitchen to call out to your son, “Rinta! Rin-Rin said he’s gonna help you sweep the floors for mommy!”
“Yayyy!”
Rindou choked, looking at you, puzzled. “What—You making me do free labor now? That wasn’t part of the deal…” he grumbled, though not too upset. Especially with how eager Rintaro was. You shrugged, standing up to go balance the register.
“Think of it as your first test. Whatever it takes, remember?” You handed him a broom right when Rintaro came rushing out, practically driving for Rindou’s leg to latch onto.
He looked down at the beaming ray of joy, his sourness melting away with every passing second as he reached down to ruffle his hair. “Yeah. I remember.”
It was like walking into an active crime scene.
There were multiple security guards. Knocked over furniture, exotic plants ripped from their oversized pots, muddy shoe and handprints, broken glass everywhere.
And at the root of all the chaos, wearing a proud grin whilst clutching a necklace worth more than a mortgage in one hand and a chunk of…white hair strands in the other, stood your little angel.
You felt your knees buckle, one officer quick to steady you as another scrutinized. “Ma’am, I presume this is your missing child?”
“Look, mommy! I got the shiny! I got it!”
With curled in lips, you inhaled deeply through your nose before giving a small, resigned nod. You’re then immediately bombarded by a disheveled-looking woman with a crooked name tag attached to her blazer, who you immediately concluded to be the manager based on her aura alone. She was more than happy to berate and condemn you for your poor parenting skills, going on and on about the damages done, the embarrassment she was subjected to—“In all my years, I have never experienced such a tyrant of a child, such disregard to her elders, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, allowing such behavior! Honestly, you call yourself a mother?! If she were my child, I would’ve-”
“My deepest apologies.” You cut her off with a deep bow, mainly to shut her up but also to shut her up. You were about two seconds away from causing another scene, and the last thing you needed was extra charges added to the tab.
Truthfully, you were holding back laughter more than tears. Sure, it was all quite devastating, you were already kissing her college fund goodbye in order to levitate this situation. But, to think that such a small thing could cause such a large upset, in such a short amount of time?
Inspirational.
Plus, it’s not like anyone got hurt.
“WHERE IS SHE? WHERE’S THE FUCKING BITCH?”
Everyone in the room stiffened to statues, aside from your daughter, whom glared at the figure approaching from somewhere in the store. She quickly scampered over to hide behind your legs, necklace and chunk of hair still in clutch. Soon, you no longer needed to guess who the hair belonged to.
KOKONOI came onto the scene like a raging bull, ready to tear a new one into the womb-holder that birthed such a vicious spawn who had the audacity to rip out some of his glorious hair follicles. He had excused himself briefly to assess how much damage had been done, only to return once he caught wind that the mother was found. Security was quick to stand on either side of you to make sure you nor your daughter tried to make a run for it. The manager tried to hide her schadenfreude, but it was poor attempt at worst.
However, it would be short lived the second Koko’s eyes landed on you, and in real time everyone witnessed all of that steam just…evaporate. Fury no longer adorned his face, but instead in its place held something more unreadable.
“Ah. [______]. W-What a.. lovely surprise. It’s been a while...”
You blanched, “H-Hajime..? This is…this is your store?”
You really would be kissing that college fund goodbye.
Kokonoi blinked, “Hm? Oh! Yes, yes I suppose it is.” He blinked again as if this fact was just realized, looking around and frowning at the state it was in. “Belinda, for Christ’s sake, what do I pay you for if you’re gonna allow the place to look like a goddamn back alley?”
Said manager spluttered, fixing Koko with a widened stare look. Did his brain just completely reset itself of the last 30 minutes?? She looked at the security, then back at him, approaching it cautiously in case he snapped on her again, “S-Sir…the child.”
Kokonoi’s eyes drifted over to said girl currently glaring at him from behind your leg, diamond necklace dangling from her small neck and strands of his hair still in her fist like some sort of forewarning. He grimaced, brow twitching, but waved it off, “Right. Well, kids will be kids. No harm done.”
“H A H H H H H ????”
Even you were caught off guard. When he first came barreling in, you half expected him to make you sign away your soul in order to cover the hair salon trip let alone the property damage. Now? You would think it were a minor inconvenience not worth the time, or energy. Belinda looked gobsmacked, security standing with question marks above their heads like corrupted NPCs. Your daughter peered up at you with curiosity, maybe even confusion herself, with her lower lip jutted out as she tugged on your jeans.
She whispered, “Mommy, that man’s weird…”
Kokonoi’s eyes practically lit up, “Oh, so this little one is yours?”
“Uh,” you flushed, hands beginning to sweat. “Yes…she’s mine.”
“Fascinating. What’s her name?”
“…Yumeko.”
He hummed, crouching down to her eye level, “Yumeko. Such a haunting name, for a haunting little girl. Your mother chose nicely. I’ve always adored the name...”
She stuck her tongue out at him before hiding her face in your leg. He grinned, amused, like he was when he first met her. Kokonoi wasn’t certain what caused his shift in approach…the nostalgia, perhaps. Seeing an old flame, the one that got away and took his heart with her…the one whose gift that was never opened, once a display item now in the possession of your child…sweet irony, he believed. Poetic, even.
“Sir, I really think we should revisit the more pressing issue here.” Belinda interjected, receiving agreements from security.
“Yes, tell us how you’d like to proceed, and we can have these two escorted off the property-”
The white-haired man fixed the guard with a ghastly scowl, hissing a low threat, “Touch either one of them, and I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you do in your pathetic waste of a life.”
Aside from you, everyone took a small step back. Used to these sort of threats, you lightly chastised him, “There’s no need for that.”
“Nonsense.” He looked at the manager, his gaze alone making her flinch. “Get this cleaned up. As of right now, none of this ever happened, understand?”
“B-But, sir-”
“I don’t like to repeat myself, Belinda. I’d advice you don’t make me.”
Belinda looked as if she were on the verge of combustion. But, she swallowed that feeling deep, deep down and gave a strained, “R-Right away, sir…”
Kokonoi nodded, then turned to the security, “You’re dismissed. And not a single report on this, or I’ll have the heads of your loved ones.”
“Hajime.”
He turned to you, and grasped your hand. “We’ve so much to catch up on. Come, we’ll discuss details somewhere private, you can tell me all about little Yumeko. I have many, many questions.”
“Haji-”
There was no room for protest. As he crouched to scoop up Yumeko in one arm and held your hand tightly in the other, borderline kidnapping, your daughter squirmed while you merely floundered, struggling to keep up with how fast things have escalated as he guided you both away from the mess he’d already forgotten.
“Hammy!” Yumeko screamed, of which made you backtrack for a split second to grab the piggy bank still sitting safe on top of the shattered display case.
Belinda and the security guards watched in disbelief. You parted with a stiff smile and nod, before skittering back to catch up with the white-haired gangster who was getting farther and farther with your child in tow.
Looking like a dysfunctional family already.
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