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STRANGER THINGS 5.07

I ... I don't like girls.

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #dailystrangerthings #strangerthingsedit #stedit #hmm mixed feelings about this vol. for sure #but at least we got some crumbs #like they didnt have to pan the camera right at mike's reaction to will's words #as if that meant somethign Mike wasn't even sure was an option #just putting this out there. theres still a chance and maybe its stupid it might happen only in the finale. but im not gonna stop believing #st5 spoilers #stranger things spoilers #its like.. mike never knew. you know. and now he knows and we might finally see his POV next ep? i hope at least #its kinda sad how theyre dragging this reveal out but okay i will watch #byleredit #mine #gif:byler #gif:strangerthings #stranger things 5x7 #thank god for fix-it fics lol these eps could have been somehow much better but i still rlly liked other parts of it

followups etc..(based on anthology previews again) i feel insane atmmmm

#witch hat tag #orufrey #HOOKED on the idea of young adult orufrey. if only bc it's a relief to finally have crumbs of it. CRAZY that it's in short story form #feels like maybe this thing is to serve as a light on it so that upcoming chapters will mainly center on teen orufrey. god..#I NEED IT ALL NOW!!!!!!!!!! ORUFREY IS MY DRUG. EVERY DAY. ALL KNOW THIS #i can't decide whether qifrey with stubble really is frightfully ugly any more. i think he just doesn't enjoy it and it shows.#white stubble. Yeah.........I'm sorry you have to live in these ways. oru completely rocks it all bc he is a butch #the implied intimacy of their beautiful friendful life still shocks me. flatmates. they were flatmates......... i think #i really don't know how i'm supposed to be imagining it. do they live alone in a great hall apartment??#部屋 (room).. it could just mean a lot. i want to imagine that they have a communal kitchen shared with other dorky 21 year old blokes #so that qifrey can start spiralling about people being in the kitchen that he doesnt care for. SUFFER!! SUFFER ORDINARY ILLS #RUN!! run from the almost-there private domesticity. WHY does oru think about the fifth test? have they TALKED about it?#who tf is going to believe that qifrey likes kids and wants to work with them. hmm bel probably has new apprentices now #so he's at least a senpai. there are so many..sooo many unknown little quantities. my DMs are open yet shirahama nor esaka volunteer much..#What's going through that insane smoke-coloured curly noggin? i'm always of the impulse to write from qifrey's pov #but oru's pov of course makes a lot more sense if you are writing authorised fanfiction though. only shirahama really knows. only her.#not knowing anything i surmised (loosely) that qifrey lived alone for several years in kalhn post-grad while oru stayed in great hall #working hard right from the beginning - too busy to see qifrey much who is not doing well. and that there was a period of distancing #this story really makes it seem like there was NO period of distancing ever. i really felt like there WAS that vibe.#bc oru seems to acknowledge in ch8/9 that he doesn't fully grasp qifrey's mental trajectory - that he had to assume things #when the man first decided on having apprentices. i want..i want to know exactly what esaka asked and exactly what was said. Ok that'll do.#y'all know and have been seeing how much ive made of what orufrey has been so far. having NEW orufrey this year..it really is unprecedented #11/25 refers to november 2025 btw not 25th of november. i think it's like 21st and i get it on 26th. SAME AS THE CHAPTER.

what if your name was ryland grace and you had like one friend that you got dinner with once a week (at the same time at the same restaurant in the same booth where you order the same exact thing every week btw) (btw you live on a huge fuckoff big boat now and your phone is 10000 years old so you probably have to message her on a public computer that you share with 384747392664 naval officers and scientists and hr reps and security team members and government officials and whoever else. using fuckinnnnn facebook messenger or whatever. if you're still in touch at all) and that was the only meaningful positive not solely work-related social interaction you really had aside from the gaggle of middle schoolers you teach and maybe the occasional staff lounge chat. and your peers all find you grating or standoffish or childish and you're someone everyone has to "get used to" and you keep putting your foot in your mouth when you're having important conversations and many people in your new (boat) home do actually like you or find you maybe. endearingly strange but almost no one is actually properly close to you. and then the people you HAVE grown to trust deeply over the last few YEARS you've been working closely with one another yeah man they've been making life-altering decisions for you behind your back that they're saying are for your own benefit and the greater good. is that cool or what. and also you very literally have no life outside of your work and you have strong emotional responses to everything and you can't shut the fuck up about star trek or all the cool fun facts you know and you keep getting so absorbed in exciting science things that you forget to sleep for several days on end without even realizing it and the first person you really truly connect with for real this time is an alien from actual outer space that communicates atypically (for reason of he is an alien.) and you help save all of humanity but you still feel more at home the day you leave humanity behind forever than you ever did when you were living among other human beings. what then man. what then huh

#ryland grace soldier on the audhd front lines #movie and book mishmash again i do what i want forever.#phm txt #will.wav #project hail mary #most of this shit TEXTUAL btw. these things HAPPENED.#forever still on yáo asking smth along the lines of “why is he speaking like a child” and stratt replying “it doesnt #matter you get used to him.“ also. ”you dont bother me.“ not ”youre not bothering me“ or ”this isnt bothering me.“#“YOU dont bother me.” fuuuuuuck oh my god. tears all my hair out dashes myself against a cliff a million times runs all around #also after he brings up the butter churner thing and then slowly just thumps his head against the doorframe.realest any1 has ever been ever #re phone thing grace kind of old fashioned in my mind. raised by his grandparents kind of lad to me.#bikes to work and prints out all the papers he wants to read on library computers and his iphone is ancient and crumbling #only some of it is for financial reasons. the rest is all him #sorry im fucking nuts off the walls insane about this movie and twitter has a character limit. go my post 🪲 🪲 🪲#ryland grace #phm #also im just saying stuff to say stuff now and maybe i make this a separate post at some point but. i will never be convinced of a self-#actualized grace who is aware of/comfortable with labels. at least not until he meets rocky. then we can talk. but in my head he was #diagnosed with adhd when he was a kid and nothing else. he has no words for his other issues and is maybe vaguely aware of some kind of #anxiety disorder but hes employed so he doesnt really care about that rn. no words for his aroace-ness either. he thinks that everyone is #like this but also that its all a personal moral failing of his. just old as sin and uber repressed about everything lord almighty.#stratt super knows. thinks he knows for awhile. then when she finds out he super doesnt that. makes a lot of sense. and also #recontextualizes some things for her. diversity win guy we shot into space needs to crack open a dsm5 crazy bad.#straight up dont even know if that would help. hes deep in denial and convinced hes normal. adn also that hes fundamentally incompatible #with humanity but thats his business. and theres nothing clinically wrong with him. he just has freak-outs and hes particular and weird but #every scientist is weird. hes so so lonely but thats regular. hes so stressed that hes nauseous all the time but thats regular.he forgets t #eat/sleep when hes focused but thats regular because also everyone is lying about being able to know when youre hungry or tired based on #instinct that takes work man. and hes survived this long so hes chilling actually and YOURE weird for bringing it up.#him and rocky autistic buddies to me. everyone can be nd if your heart is pure and your intentions just

Okay. Since we're going over all the takes on Mr. X at this point.. What if his powers really don't have a backside. What if (the state of) his normal life is the backside.

What if his normal life is akin to that of heroes where he has to pretend to be something he's not and follow rules that the people who control his life came up with to further their own goals. What if he can only be free of other people's beliefs and expectations when he's a hero.

What if in reality he truly is like everyone else. The other heroes. The ordinary people. All those who work themselves to the bone, who are tired and overworked and sick of all the exploitation...

What if when he's in the form of the number one hero.. when he becomes the most sought after product on the hero market..

Is when he gains the freedom to truly be himself

#to be hero x #tbhx #hero x #considering one of the first things they revealed to us in the trailers was that he's a white-collar worker...#we definitely need to think about that if we wanna try to predict / guess what he's actually like #this thing feels very lin ling coded but lin ling is tbhx coded (introduction to the main themes of the show)#so I feel like my best prediction rn is that he's actually the other side of the same damn coin #(cue the coin flip clip from the opening *coughs*)#I think from a writing perspective the whole downside thing is based on a characters perception #so if the writers make us think that X is an omnipresent all powerful god #then it just makes sense to reverse it by revealing that the opposite is equally as true #and then he'd have an even stronger incentive to want to break the system cuz both of his lives would've been defined by exploitation #maybe not the bright side of X (at least not after he became No. 1) but I don't think being the best product makes him no longer a product #ACTUALLY #“bright side” was supposed to refer to his hero identity bc of the black & white switch he has going on but #yeah calling his normal self the “dark side of X” would definitely reinforce the idea that it's the not so good parts he hides #and we've not much of normal X yet (other than his sugar stealing. you go boy exploit the company back for sugar. I believe in you) but!#we all know there's darker times coming. right.#I don't think they're gonna reveal his normal life to have a sad backstory or Idk (there's gonna be enough of that elsewhere anyways haha)#but we've definitely only seen the top of the iceberg for now #btw yes I do think capitalism & the CEOs are gonna be the real villains #and X is probably playing their game to win #yes all along you were reading my “X is actually anti-capitalist” propaganda #we're gonna go free heroes (at a cost) :))#ice demon talks #tbhx theories #tbhx analysis

Maybe it's my aroace-spec ass but in this fandom especially, when I say I "ship" something, I'm more so saying I enjoy the characters' dynamic. Aaaaaand that dynamic is pretty often not romantic or sexual in my mind.

#hazbin hotel #radiojoy #<- purely platonic. QPR at most. I just find the potential dynamic so fascinating I say I ship it #radiostatic #<- honestly a situationship beyond words #I don't remotely know how to describe it in its current state but its fascinatingly unhinged #guitarspear #<- canonically a one sided crush now and also a vibe of a friendship while Adam was alive #it's fascinating from both the characters' ends I think Adam at least appreciates her but not romantically #staticbelle #<- also a one sided crush that I ship the fuck out of platonically #cherridust #<- I adore them platonically they're honest to god one of my favorite dynamics in the whole show if we're talking strictly canon #and the reason they are so good is cuz it's platonic and that platonicness is shown as something that's deeply important #I love the Addict music video and S2 for showing that #anyways Chaggie Madmaid and Helluva's Fizzmodeus are maybe the only ships that I'm referring to romantically when I say I ship them #everything else has... range lmao #I guess Staticmoth kinda counts as something I ship? But that's more just “it's canon and affects Vox so I'm addressing it in MST”#really tragically for the record uhhhh my lips are sealed #long ramble in the tags

We have got to tell kids about discharge in basic sex ed man. Sure finding some suspicious white/clear Slime in your underwear isn't as automatically alarming as finding blood but it's still pretty fuckin weird

#somewhere as we speak some poor 11 year old is going What on god's green earth is that. what am I leaking.#and that should not be the case!#sex ed #why it isn't already in the lectures (at least not the ones I got) I have no idea #maybe they get away with it bc they know most kids have additional sources of information #(parents. puberty books. etc)#but I think it should still be covered!#if elementary middle and high school sex ed was my only source of information #I would have so many misconceptions and gaps in my knowledge about anatomy and sex #which is BAD #most people have sex and even the ones that don't should still understand the body parts involved #on account of them being DELICATE and PRONE TO VARIOUS AILMENTS #for example someone who doesn't know better could think "hm. vagina smells bad. I will fix that with a good wash with Nice Scented Soap''#and accidentally give themself bacterial vaginosis or something equally unpleasant #okay I think I'm done with my screed now #myscreed

STRAIGHT UP there is a darkness inside of me and i literally can’t stop it from devouring me and every fucign thing around me waaaaait nevermind nevermind. I felt a cramp lol. ok nevermind it’s fine actually we’ll be fine

#lmao my uterus felt me complaining #PLEASE i need my period to start for real ive been suffering so badly i can’t even write #like I can’t do anything im just laying here #jesus #and work also fucking my aaa #I had a big presentation yesterday id been preparing for two months!! and as always everyone just eats and eats and doesn’t even say thank #you like it was a big deal! I know I did a good job! and I know it’s just corpo bullshit that doesn’t matter but I still spent a lot of #time and mental energy on it!! any time any big leader takes a shit he gets jerked off by everyone #meanwhile I do actual work for once and not even a good job or a thank you #actually my reward for doing good work was MORE WORK!!!!! and criticism also!!!! I did the work of like three different people #I am NOT. a data scientist or an engineer but still I did data science and built a tool because NO ONE WOULD HELP ME #BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS BEEN FIRED AND THE REST DONT CARE #and instead of thank you I just got more work Christ I hate this fucking place!!!!!!!!#anyway sorry that turned into a rant #I guess im more upset about it than I thought #it’s not really a big deal and truly does not matter at all like in the grand scheme #I just hate that it’s happened while im deep in pmdd hell and im struggling a lot like even just to write which usually brings me the only #fucking joy I feel in the world lol now all is darkness and misery #it’s Friday at least #I found a fic I haven’t posted maybe ill post that #I really wanna finish writing the kcd1 fic but I can’t rn #have to come back to it #also my ai novel god it’s such a good idea I hope I can do it #I hate periods I hate being a girl I hate evrything on earth I only want a beer and a patch of sunlight #im not asking for a lot here #anyway hahahaaha ok bye

soooo something happened with my hot water heater and also probably my pipes while i was gone, so my basement is flooded, and now i'm gonna have. a mystery probably thousands of repairs. and until i do that. i have. no running water.

i am going to go to bed crying, and i expect to wake up the same way.

i am not having. a good time.

#for the love of GOD #can i have a fucking BREAK #and i can only fucking imagine what my water bill is going to be next month #bc i have no idea when it started or how long it's been going on #I'm sorry y'all have to hear me bitch so much but jesus CHRIST #okay update from investigating #i think it's just my hot water heater???#water seems to still be coming in okay otherwise #something just made my water heater massively overflow through the release valve and it won't stop #update: on the plus side #i now know for sure what my main water valve shut off is #it is not what i thought it was #okay further update: hopefully?? just a problem with the overflow valve maybe??#my electricity and water bill next month are going to be MURDER and i already feel nauseous #but maybe fixing the hot water heater? won't be as bankrupting as i thought?? please god #i have lived without a hot water heater before so at least i'm really good at bucket baths #so i am now showered and clean #so i feel a little less like my life is. fucking over. but C'MON.#personal #negative #also feel free to ignore this y'all i just had to scream SOMEWHERE

#...for now at least... maybe... god only knows

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#...for now at least... maybe... god only knows