#000004

[doyoulovecolors]

Which color do you love best?

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Voting ended onMar 13

[bah-avenue]

BAH.File : #000004

Contents : Error!Sans Fictive. Persecutor.

[ image-1 ] ﹔ [   ] ﹔ [ image-2 ]

⠀name{s} ﹔ Error ; 404 ; Glitch ; Null ⠀nickname{s} ﹔ Err ; Thread ; Loop ⠀pronouns ﹔ he/him ; h3/h1m ; it/its ; 1t/1t5 ; xe/xem ; co/cos ⠀age ﹔ Ageless ; Adult-Coded ⠀mental maturity ﹔ Late-20s ⠀species ﹔ Monster {Skeleton} ⠀gender ﹔ cismale ; cisogender ; agender ⠀orientation / sexuality ﹔ lithflux ; aromantic ; hedonesexual ; cupio- ⠀amory ﹔ non-partnering

⠀role{s} ﹔ control holder ; eleutherian ; roguekeeper ; revertor ⠀source{s} ﹔ Undertale AUs ; ErrorTale / Underverse ⠀source connection ﹔ strong attachment to source ⠀source memories ﹔    — remained in the Anti-Void by choice to avoid timelines and universes he cannot fully erase or control   — learned to isolate rather than destroy indiscriminately after repeated failure   — views anomalies as more dangerous than active threats   — perceives existence as something that must be constantly maintained or purged   — remembers being overwhelmed by overlapping AUs and retreating permanently   — recognized only a very limited number of entities as tolerable to interact with   — avoids emotional attachment due to its interference with his own 'better' choices ⠀sign off / emojis ﹔ 🧵 ; ❌ ; 🕷️ ; ⚠️ ; ⛓️

⠀acute stress response ﹔ fight ; freeze ⠀front trigger{s} ﹔  loss of control ; system chaos ; overstimulation ; repetition ; being ignored ⠀front sign{s} ﹔  visual snow / dissociation ; irritability spike ; fixation on “errors”/uncorrected mistakes ; string imagery ; reduced speech ; hostility toward noise ⠀personality traits{s} ﹔  hostile ; rigid ; obsessive ; cynical ; arrogant ; detached

⠀boundaries ﹔   - flirting — no  - compliments — no  - nicknames — no  - petnames — no  - tonetags — preferred  - sourcetalk — limited  - sourcemates — yes  - advice — no  - venting — no, unless i offer

⠀phobia{s} ﹔  loss of autonomy ; loss of (situational/overall) control ; irreversibility ⠀coping behaviors ﹔  isolates and attempts to “remove” perceived problems. may escalate into destructive or self-sabotaging behavior when overwhelmed.

⠀speech / talking pattern ﹔  short, harsh, and clipped, often accusatory. speaks in absolutes and corrections rather than discussion, always with a critical tone. ⠀typing quirk ﹔  random spacing/punctuation, capitalizes full words for emphasis. often puts spaces between each letter of a word as a way to 'say it slowly'

⠀songs ﹔   - crack in the facade [By: ChrispyD]  - Control [By: Halsey]  - Digital Silence [By: Peter McPoland]  - Burning Pile [By: Mother Mother]  - Rule #34 [By: Fish in a Birdcage]  - My Ordinary Life [By: The Living Tombstone]

⠀likes / dislikes ﹔   - likes ﹔ silence ; order ; predictability ; isolation ; control ; the book "Simulacra and Simulation"  - dislikes ﹔ mess ; bright colors ; outward emotional displays ; crowds ; unplanned change

[gradienty]

Black Russian (#000000 to #000004)

[rock-grok-depositary]

Here's a link to some pretty nifty resources I've encountered recently! Also recommend giving Nick Zenter's YouTube channel a listen if you have the time and are interested in learning about Pacific Northwest geology.

Wikiversity's page on Earth Sciences:

Nick Zenter's YouTube:

Nick Zentner

I teach geology at Central Washington University in Ellensburg, Washington, USA.

[every-color-in-order]

[doyoulovecolors]

[letters-from-r]

On Making Friends

Meeting new people and making new friends has been the single most difficult thing I had to do throughout this whole self-improvement journey. 

So, a couple years ago when I decided to change for the better, I made a list of all the things I wanted to achieve or change or improve. On this list was the typical ‘I will have better grades’ and ‘I will go to the gym at least twice a week’ and so on. One of the things on this list was ‘Meet new people and make new friends.’ I knew going into this journey that that will be one of the most difficult things I will ever have to do. It sounds silly, I know. But I’m not exactly the type of person who will talk to a stranger and strike up a conversation just for the sake of conversation, you know? I kid you not, I will not speak to a single person in a day unless I’m with my friends. I was that bad at making friends. Up until the start of this year, all my new friends are literally people I’ve met through my friends. 

I’m proud to say I did meet new people and made new friends this year. It sounds like an insignificant achievement but I’m really, really proud of myself for this. And just this afternoon I actually had lunch with a person who I’m not exactly friends with---acquaintance, maybe. I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I usually have lunch either with my close friends or alone. It was okay, it wasn’t awkward at all because we had things to talk about. Maybe I’ll do it again with other acquaintances. Maybe. We’ll see. Baby steps. 

Anyway, it’s my last semester in college. I have five courses this semester, and in three of those courses I know nobody. I do recognize that this is an opportunity. And maybe I will make friends, we’ll see. I’ll update you.

Best wishes,

R.