#072918

[deletingmyself]

People only care about you because they need something

[jhukeepsgoing]

I didn't even got wasted. Not even tipsy. Parang juice lang yung ininum namin. (Yabang) It was an unexpected night out with the gang. Supposedly, yung unli milktea lang yung plano naming puntahan ng kaibigan ko. My friend wanted it. I just want to go with her. Since I'm a coffee person, I got curious how it tasted. It was pretty good. Yup. Hahahaha!

Habang hinihintay namin yun order namin, biglaan akong niyaya ng kaibigan ko na pumunta sa kabilang syudad. It was just 10-15 mins away. Sabi niya, may mga makakasama kami. Her college barkada. May dala silang motor kaya di kami magcocommute. I asked, "May dala ba silang helmet?". "Wala." And the real adventure begun.

As always, I'm the awkward-shy person. Pinakilala niya ako sa mga kaibigan niya. Totoo nga, wala silang dalang helmet, taena. Natatakot ako pero at the same time, na-eexcite. You'll miss the fun, if you don't break the rules. My heart said, "AYOKO PANG MAMATAY!!! AYOKONG MADISGRASYA!!" But my mind said, "Gora girl! Just for today!"

Mukha naman silang mapagkakatiwalaan kaya keri lang. Kay Jan ako umangkas. We were so awkward but salamat naman at madaldal siya. We talked about the usual stuff; our name, work, where, whereabouts, etc. Una kong dinig, nag-ate siya sa'kin. Kaya I asked him how old is he. Magkasing-edad lang kami. So I told him to drop the formality. Laging nagmi-miss. Err.

We ate Tuslob Buwa!!! How do I explain this? Utak siya ng baboy. Paano siya lulutuin? Una, gigisahin sa mantika ang bawang at sibuyas. Pagkatapos, ilagay ang utak ng baboy. Lalagyan ng kunting patis. Para dumami, dadagdagan ito ng, uhh, di ako sigurado kung beef or pork broth ba yun. Tapos, hihinaan yung apoy sa pinakamababa na temperatura para ito ay parang bubula.

Tuslob = dip, Buwa = bubbles

The means of eating this kind of food is through bare hands. Hanging Rice o Poso/Puso kung tawagin sa'min, ay ilulublob/isasawsaw doon sa nalutong utak ng baboy tapos, kakainin. Viola! It's fun to eat this delicacy because, ikaw rin mismo ang magluluto. So you can basically adjust the taste base on your preference. Pwedeng sakto lang, maalat (lmao, wag mo ubusin ang patis pls lang), or spicy, kung hihingi ka sa kanila ng sili.

After we ate, we ran to the bathroom. Lol! Uminom ako ng milktea, tapos, softdrinks at tubig. Kamusta naman?

Sabi ng isa naming kasama, nandoon din sina Lorine at Chona, previous interns ko sila sa office na naging mga kabarkada ko na rin. And tada, sa CR pa talaga kami nagkita.

The team wanted to grab something to drink. Go lang naman ako. Gusto ko rin kasi. Like, it's been ages. Haha! May humabol pa na dalawa, so were nine, all in all. Akala ko, didiretso na kami don. Lumiko pa sila sa Aventino's para magpizza! Sino ba naman ako para humindi? Sumasama lang naman ako sa kanila.

I asked Chona to go with me para magpaload. Ang awkward talaga kasi pag tumatahimik bigla. Haha! We catched up on alot of things. And to my surprise, yung isang guy na humabol sa'min, ka-fling pala niya dati. Surprise talaga aber! Tapos iba na kasama ni kuya ngayon. Awwwwww~

After digging in the pizza, umakyat kami sa second floor for the real thing. 😏

The guy I was with, on the way to the city, kept on (lmao ang cringey) hitting with me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WAIT...I am single for four fcking years already kaya di ko alam pano magrespond HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH CRINGEY POTA YAN

He kept on staying close, and he even put his arm on my shoulder and oh my gracious, you don't know how I tried my very best not to laugh on my self. ANO BA YAAAAAN I FEEL SO OLD FOR THESE KIND OF STUFF HAHAHAHA

Everytime I open my phone, there's Taehyung. I feel like I'm betraying him WHAAAAAAAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

So, I just got home and hinatid nila ako. I asked them if we could meet again next month since maraming holidays. I want to get wasted ewan ko ba. Gusto ko lang magdestress talaga 🤣 Nakita namin sa Facebook memories yung nangyari sa'min a year ago, na sobra kaming nag-enjoy sa pinuntahan naming beach resort and got wasted. (Well, sila lang talaga. I have high tolerence with alcohol kaya di ko pa talaga alam paano ako malasing. Nakakainis! Haha!)

I will attend an event later, and sana magising ako ng maaga. Good luck.

[fyeahprism]

prism_ryeowon #날씨좋다 #😍

[fyeahprism]

prism_ryeowon #심통 #😤

[outofcontextboiquotes]

"boi, you're the only husband for me"

[rozie-rose]

Sa ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung anong mas nakaka.stress, kung sa trabaho ba o sa bahay.

Ayoko na talagang mag stay pa sa bahay namin.

Nasa bahay lang ako, wala namang ginawa pero pagod na pagod ung puso at isip. 😢😢😢

Pwede ba? Pwede bang umalis na ko dito? Dito sa mundong to?

[mortifiedandawesome]

One month without an issue plzzz

So earlier today I got an OBVIOUS scam check in the mail, an unexpected amount of money SUPPOSEDLY from a reliable source, but no letter of explanation, a few questionable appearances on the ‘check’, but I am slightly too stupid to just throw it away- so now I get to embarrass myself at the bank this week.

 I looked into it online. If it’s a REAL check it could be a refund agreed upon in small print that I just never noticed, it could be the scam I read about where you cash it, spend the money, and three weeks later the bank says it’s a bounce and then you’re screwed and also the scammer (somehow) has your info? I dunno. If I just toss it, hey, it’s money I wasn’t thinking about. It is a check made out to me with the name an elderly relative called me when they were in prison for yolk fraud. The ink smears and it looks like the ‘security pattern’ is the Nabisco logo but referencing drugs. It is for $12 thousand currency dollars. That is a shameful amount of money to get from an Erotic Postage Stamp company, I will admit.

---

Trying to determine if my toilet is actually leaking this time (a mutli-year wonder) or if my sloppy shower departure caused an under-tile oozing. Procrastination and ‘god i hope not’ convinces me to just OBSERVE until it stops.

I’m concerned about suddenly dying because of a sinkhole made by a decade of ignoring a possible leak, the idea of having people in my home when I’m not here, and also the idea of having people in my home when I’m not here. God damn fuck I just want to be a hermit OK? At least in relation to nobody coming in here.

Now, I know on HOARDERS one of the signs of ‘it’s bad’ is when someone has a broken toilet, they just shut off the water and begin peeing/pooping in bags and then leave the bags in the kitchen sink. I’m not __REALLY__ that bad off but every time I split-second consider it an option, I worry about myself.

I mean I’d THROW OUT the waste.       ...

--

Then I went and read a damn medicine article and been thinking about medicine-death again. It was a total click-bait headline that got me too. “America’s highways are clogged with piles of the dead every year because of Tylenol! One pile of the dead is bigger than Reno NV, but they covered it up! You moron!”

--

It’s been 3 hours now, where I was trying to do Something Not Online and I’ve squandered away another evening. Bah.

I wanted to go to garage sales to look for some randomly sized end-table as well for x-weeks running, but the morningtide is not a fun time to get up and suffer awkward times. Going to a garage sale is like making people see you and talk to you AND THEN you feel weird for not buying anything. 

[sophocused]

I've been doing a lot of growing

hey guys 🌻 it's 3:06am and I haven't made an original post in roughly 5-6 months? I can't wait to give you guys a collected update and summary of everything that's been going on in my life. there has been so much progress in so many ways than just academically or emotionally, or just mentally. so many realizations, revelations, and beautiful eureka moments that brought me into a person the me from a year ago would barely be able to recognize. in a good way, in a beautiful, coming of age, cathartic way. I've fallen into the right pieces! I really want to tell you guys as much detail as possible, it's the writer/storyteller in me but I will start with the shift in my academic plans first probably tomorrow. I've missed you and have been thinking about a return to this community for a while and now as I am a month away from starting my second year of uni sounds like a perfect time.