#141 angst

[sorrownotsexy]

Part four 😗

Gaz wouldn't leave you alone. In his mind you were best friends. He held baby Si while he made you go to the hospital. You were a stranger but he felt like he knew you somehow. He was on leave for the summer, ankle injury and all that. Helicopter falls do that to ya.

It wasn't like you could just tell him off completely, Si loved him. Can't the military just leave you alone? Another soldier had to come in and scramble you again.

Gaz noticed pretty early on that you weren't doing too great in the money department. You were comfortable sure, but Paw Patrol Kraft tastes better than Great Value, and he knew you were getting tired of making your own sugar scrubs. He could tell the boy needed a bigger yard, somewhere with more kids around, a park maybe? Quick call to his mom Laswell and a little eviction notice was stressing you out. Only to get exactly your dream house at the cheapest price possible. It wasn't too far away from his apartment either.

So he was right I'm not leaving you alone. A little while has passed and be became your small town best friend, eventually the Tio to baby Si. It was nice having a friend in this lonely town. You were just off on the age mark, too old and too young for anyone around so Gaz was a nice breath of fresh air.

It was especially nice to know that Si had a positive male influence around too, the mom guilt had been getting to you. What if he needed to cut his hair one day, or shave his face ? Of course he was only three but still.....

He learned pretty early on to not mention the military. The word itself seemed like a trigger to make your eyes watery, Si felt it too, he'd start watery crying and snuggle you, he was so intune with his mom.

Because he never mentioned the military, you never really heard in great detail about his friends. He usually talks about his family and about his Captain here and there. Hearing about the Captain was safe ground, you had an image of a teddy bear of a man watching over your best friend.

"What's your Cap look like?"

You were stirring Paw Patrol Mac for the baby Si. He was busy singing to himself in the hallway. Both Si and Gaz.

"Exactly like a dad."

"Like a picture."

"Pretty sure that's like breach of confidentiality."

"You're so full of shit."

"Bad word mama."

"Hm" -$5

Gaz stood with a creak of his ankle that got a raised eyebrow but he just shook his head.

"I think I've got a few pictures."

He opened up his phone, and scrolled to a locked folder. It took a finger print and a passkey to open it. He scrolled some more and landed on a pretty fuzzy video of a guy snoring and letting out puffs of cold airbwith a beanie on.

"That's my Cap, think we were in Russia or something."

"He looks just like a thought."

It was hard not to smile, even in the military outfit that would usually make you tense,the seemed okay.

"Think I've got a better one, that's me and him and the rest of the crew."

You were smiling and turned the pot off to see the rest of the guys. You'd never had a smile drop faster, he didn't notice yet.

"Oh and that's my best mate from back home ! The one that looks just like-"

He quit when he saw your hands shaking. Si was already whining in the hallway, he felt the energy change, something was wrong with his mom.

"How do you know that guy?"

Your voice was tight.

"Who Johnny? We serve together, used to be roommates, the one that lives where you used to."

So he knew.

He spoke slowly, he figured he was in trouble but couldn't figure out why.

"Get out."

"What?"

"You have to go."

"What'd I do?"

"Now Kyle!"

You'd went to snatch up Si and kick Gaz all the way out. Fucking Brits. All of them know each other and serve in the military? All of them are inherently evil or what?

Gaz knew better than to push you right now.

"Okay I'm heading out."

He left carefully without getting to kiss the baby's head bye, you pulled him away. Something was seriously wrong.

Two years and he knew exactly who you were and just didn't say a thing? Is that why he had picture of Si? Was he sending them to Johnny? To Simon? Because not only was John MacTavish in that photo smiling, looking exactly like your pride and joy, but he had an arm around your Simon Riley. Even in the big mask you knew it was him, you'd never found a similar shade of brown in deep warm and scared eyes.

What's worse was that Gaz had no clue. He wasn't out there putting your life on blast. Sure he talked about a pretty bird to his mates but not to date. Just that when he was on leave his friend had a cute kiddo that the boys would love, he wasn't showing them pictures.

And he felt kinda sick for disappointing his friend, even if he didn't know what he did. But he rang Soap immediately.

"Pick up the phone you wanker."

He held the device up to his ear and was glancing back at the house, he heard the deadbolt lock into place and rolled his eyes. If it was that serious three inches of metal wasn't going to stop him.

"Bad timing bro, it's all over the screen"

"Hey man something wrong."

And Soap way misunderstood the call and the funny mood was gone.

"What's wrong Kyle?"

He sat up in bed and paused his show, he forgot about the time difference, it was way later at home, bedtime for him.

"Hey I'm sending you some pictures, how do you know this girl?"

"Holy fuck."

That was Ghost.

"How do you know her?"

That sounds accusatory.

"She's just me friend here in the States, that bird with the kiddo that kinda looks like you-.."

He knew immediately what was wrong and his heart stopped.

"You messed with her or what? She said she used to live in Manchester."

"Yes"

Two voices, dead sober answered. Ghost and Soap looked at each other with a frown.

"What?"

"I used to kinda date her, well not really, but we had a thing, I thought she liked me but she just kinda left town, she might've been married, is she married still?"

"Married-?"

"Yeah."

A rougher voice.

"To me."

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Hey guys the Worms are coming back so I’m having thoughts,

tw: a/b/o dynamics, major angst no aftercare, panic attacks, past abuse, military

I love the stories where the 141 (in a/b/o context) are all alphas or a mix, but I also haven’t seen much of them being all omegas, which I think would really make sense.

Imagine it, omegas are more sensitive to their surroundings I think, with sharper instincts and reaction time imo, and they’re probably smaller than the stereotypical alpha so they can move faster. They can stay relatively calm under pressure and suppressants deal with the issue of a heat. I’ve always more imagined the 141 as four omegas, but four that stand out, and are used to criticism from people not in the military that don’t understand their team bonds.

So imagine they one day get news of a new transfer onto their team (maybe replacing soap as he’s recovering from his bullet wound HES NOT DEAD MW3 NEVER HAPPENED) and they’re not worried until they’re told it’s an alpha. An American alpha, too, if I let this get really self indulgent. Americans are loud and proud and annoying, so they fear the worst, you could throw off their team bonds, or make fun of them, or mess up their missions, etc, etc.

But in this imaginary world imagine that omegas also have more societal power than alphas, not physical power though, and you happened to be a victim of alpha-abuse. So what if the alpha that comes is shockingly quiet despite your imposing height and strength, and even looks nervous. The 141 would be absolutely ready for a brawl, I think, scents stinking up the room, only for you to stiffen as your nose stings from the potent mix of scents.

They’d observe you the entire time of the initial scenting, your stiff posture, uncomfortable behavior, and most of all the odd texture and scarring of your scent gland on your neck. Not unusual in your line of work.

After that, they made it clear you were an afterthought.

They wouldn’t let you get them food in the mess, or let you enter their shared nesting area, or even linger in Price’s office. If you covered them on a mission they’d nip at you or give you little low growls. They didn’t like the change to it, having to adjust, or just wanted to prove that they didn’t need an alpha, especially not to replace Soap.

You were trying. You knew you had to work your ass off for their respect and trust, and you were trying so hard. They didn’t seem to care.

Before they’d met you, they’d never thought that an alpha could have anything similar to a distress, nothing even close to the physical and psychological damage and pure stress someone had to be put through to reach that point. That was, until, one day when Ghost yanked you down to his scent gland to take a whiff when you ask how he covers the gunpowder from missions in his scent (spoiler: he doesn’t) and you just completely…freak out.

Shoving him away, eyes wide and looking through him, heart rate and breathing too fast. You’d absolutely booked it to your lone, sterile room that was the opposite of their cozy nest. It had taken a good hour just for Price and the rest to drag a medic and find out what the hell was wrong, only for you to be diagnosed with “Cane Baker Condition”,

“It’s, essentially, a form of PTSD related to a secondary gender, or experiences with one in a negative light. Think like a panic attack that lasts until their body is convinced they’re safe. Keep them out of bright light, away from loud noises or anything triggering for them, and give them some recognizable items from the nest, and they’ll snap out of it.”

It was then that they’d realized you had no recognizable items. Because they’d not let you even have a chance to enter their nest, and here they were now. You, lying underneath your piss poor bed in a pitch black room with one blanket in a sad mockery of a nest for comfort, getting as close to a panicked whimper that an alpha could between every breath.

Now they had to figure out how to earn your trust and respect, especially after they’d given absolutely none to you, neglected and abused you, for weeks.

should I make this a series?? (midterms are almost over so I’ll be more active soon, so far I’ve passed all of them!)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

[etherealizzie]

the 141 who have their first christmas without john mactavish. the one man who would drag them out of bed for christmas eve if they were lucky to be home.

john mactavish would make a habit of making hot chocolate and spiking it, for shits and giggles.

and when the 141 are deployed, johnny still tries to make the day feel just a little special.

now that they were home and down one soldier, it felt different. their hot chocolate wasn’t as sweet, their lights didn’t twinkle like they used to, the fact there were only gifts for three instead of four. it didn’t feel like christmas.

john mactavish who made christmas feel like how the songs sound, who made snowfall look magical, who made the holiday something special for the lads.

and now, it was just another day without johnny.

[yawnderu]

Doomed — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Idea by @actuallyhiswife from this post!

Alternative happy ending here.

Black. It's all you can see, all senses numbed by the water sneaking into your lungs, burning everything in its wake like a raging fire. You can feel it— her pain is your pain, his distress while he holds the body of his lover is just as yours, even when you don't recognize these people.

''Shh, s'alright love, I'm here.'' Simon's deep voice snaps you back to reality, your lungs greedily taking in the air like a man starved. You suck in a sharp breath at the touch of his bare fingers against your stomach, one of his bloodied hands coming up to cup your cheek while the other one applies pressure to the bullet wound.

"What h—" A groan takes over your sentence, face scrunched up in pain as your brain finally registers that you got shot. Blood pours out of the wound no matter how much pressure his strong hands apply, now using both of them in hopes that'll keep you alive.

"Stay with me." It's not an order, it's a plea, tone laced by pure desperation. You cry out as the bullet digs deeper into your flesh, tears already falling down your cheeks at the pure agony, body growing weaker and weaker as the blood pours out of your body.

"Simon." You call out softly and he ignores it, refusing to let you go. Refusing to let the sun that casts away his shadows go. Simon finally had one good thing in life, and he'll be damned if he ever lets it go.

"Simon." You call out again only to be ignored. Your bloodied hand manages to drag its way onto Simon's forearm, squeezing gently to get his attention.

"I love you. I'm sorry we—" A choked breath escapes his lips as he takes in your image. Roughed up and dirty, yet still the prettiest fucking thing he's seen his whole life.

"I'm sorry we can't go pet the fluffy cows in Scotland together." A small laugh manages to come out of your lips, followed by a cough. He recognizes that look in your tear-covered eyes, the way you're trying your hardest to fight death barehanded... and losing.

"Don't say that." He grunts out, the pressure he's applying on the wound growing weaker by the second as he prepares himself to accept whatever life will throw at him, as usual.

"We'll go pet those bloody cows together— maybe even stay over at Johnny's." He promises, having spent countless nights listening to you ramble on about going to Scotland just to meet Johnny's family and pet the fluffy cows he claimed they have.

"Just gotta stay with me, pretty girl." His hands come up to adjust your body so that you're laying on him, his back against the wall of the abandoned building as he cradles you.

You don't have the energy to speak, still managing to give him a lethargic nod, eyelids growing heavier by the second. You can barely hear his voice, everything sounding muffled all of sudden, but you register the kiss planted to your lips, his balaclava pulled all the way off.

"Marry me." You nod, allowing yourself to entertain him as life slips away from you. His tone is raw, trying and failing to cover up the pure agony that he's feeling.

"Do you—" He chokes up, taking a deep breath to calm himself down, knowing he doesn't have a lot of time left with you.

"Do you take Simon Riley as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?" Another weak nod.

"I do." You manage out, trying your best to ignore the taste of blood in your mouth, eyes finally rolling to the back of your head as your eyelids close, unable to keep them open anymore.

His shaky hand holds your left one, carefully drawing a circle around your ring finger with your own blood. It's all he can do for now— the real engagement ring is back on base, carefully tucked away in his closet.

He holds you close for what feels like forever, ignoring the way your body gets colder and stiffer as the hours go by. He plants gentle kisses onto your hair, refusing to see your face, wanting his last image of you to be when you smiled at him. Simon Riley, the man who always kept everyone at arm's length, had to be ripped off of your body by Johnny and Price once they found you.

The day you left him, the little humanity Simon had died alongside you. He could barely eat, was drinking himself to sleep every single night to numb the pain, and yet his dreams were just as restless. His mind had been plagued with images of lovers seeing each other die, each time just as tragic. He couldn't recognize the people in his dreams up until it was his turn to watch you die over and over— that's when he understood. Simon Riley always thought he was cursed, yet seeing the other piece of his soul die over and over again in his arms? It was pure agony.

He stumbled to his desk, harshly putting down the bottle of bourbon he downed in less than an hour. His shaky hand opened the cabinet, looking at his service pistol with contempt before reaching out for it.

[cod-enthusiast]

Man I have such a good angsty idea in my drafts but I’m struggling to write it 😭

[littlefairybrooke]

🍓 another angsty 141 thought

141 not believing you but in the way that you tell them that the safe house has been compromised and they need to get out but someone else is telling them to stay and you’re only saying that because you have an ambush planned for them but in reality it’s the other person manipulating them into not trusting you. but then the safe house is actually attacked like you said it would be and the other person who they believed over you is working with the enemy and when they finally make it out alive and back to base after almost a month, they find out that you’ve been working non stop losing sleep and losing weight from barely eating trying to fix communications equipment cause they obviously didn’t get your message or they wouldn’t have been attacked and they don’t know how to tell you that they didn’t trust you that they trusted the word of someone they just met over you, who they have knows for years and has saved them countless times. they didn’t have the heart to tell you they thought you betrayed them. that they believed the other persons lies about how you teamed up with the enemy months ago because they offered you a lot of money. they didn’t have the heart to tell you, their friend, their teammate, their family that they believed you would betray them for some money. they don’t know how to act around you anymore and it’s just awkward whenever you’re around. you think they hate you. you miss your family but you don’t know what you did to make them hate you all of a sudden.

🍓original 141 x reader angst