#188 days

[pierrebeasley]

hello i have a post concert depression (the concert was two years ago)

[convolusion]

Everyone said that getting sober would help me be able to feel my emotions again and learn how to deal with them, but the only significant feeling I've had is loneliness, and it's more now than I have ever been able to handle.

[samsgermanexchange]

188 Day Letter to myself

I’ve hesitated posting this for a couple weeks, but I reminded myself that I wanted my blog to be a place where I can write whatever I want. So here’s the letter I wrote to my first-day-of-exchange self, after 188 days here.

Dear Sam,

Happy first day of exchange! You don’t know anyone yet, but that’s okay. When you start school, you’ll definitely feel pressured to immediately become friends with people who do everything just slightly differently. It takes time, but you’ll get there. Keep trying, and don’t be afraid to switch between languages as you please; people are always  interested in what you have to say in English, but you suck at German. You’ll greet everyone on the train to Munich, and even meet some of the most admirable people during that ride, no matter how condescending they seem. There will come a point when you can tell anything to these people, just because they put themselves in the exact same crazy situation as you. They will come a point where you will be totally uncrackable. You’ll feel like anyone can know anything about you. Some days you’ll feel like a celebrity. Some days you’ll be invisible. You’ll kiss someone in the dark with 4 of your newfound best friends, and it will be one of those crazy stories. Literally overnight, you’ll go to never having kissed anyone to making out with a Brazilian you’ve just met and having orgy rumours buzzing around. And you’ll kind of like it. You’ll learn to make a move. Yeah, that’s how confident you’ll be. You’ll grow to wake up everyday and love living in this tiny town. Being in a car will become an unmistakably thrilling experience. You’ll realize you’ve got a little thing for one of the first people in your new life, but that’s actually totally normal, believe it or not. You’ll be friends sort of but always kind of wonder if you’re actually just being irritating. You’re slightly afraid of your host family finding out you aren’t perfect, but they know damn well and they’re going to be a huge influence when you let them. You’re going to want to get on a plane and be home in 15 hours, but you also know nothing will be the same. You’ll feel stuck… God, will you feel stuck, and anxious and confused too. Some days will never end, and others you’ll Google “How many days since August 19, 2015” and feel numb looking at the results. You’ll feel like nothing matters where you are, but it does if you make it. You’ll start to think you regret a couple things, but you don’t.  About halfway through this fiasco, you’ll absolutely freak out when it hits you how soon you’ll be leaving, but you won’t really comprehend why. You’ll talk to Quinn in Flensburg, and he’ll tell you you’re just getting to the good part. And you’ll ponder it and realize he’s right. You’ll start to forget the rules, but you won’t be the kind of person that will get sent home. You’ll learn to really go for it and fuck the rest. You’ll see your old life through two lenses, as if wearing a pair of old-fashioned 3D glasses; on one side, it’s totally comfortable and determined. On the other, it has nothing new to offer you; you’ve outgrown it. You’re going to have a little bit of an identity crisis. When you see the American flag you’ll get a really vivid proud feeling. When you see Americans, you’ll want to cringe most of the time, though sometimes you need to veg out in your own culture. Yes, America has a culture. Just not one you can put your hand on easily. You’ll get irritated at yourself for not being more extroverted. Eventually you’ll be the type of person who openly admits to liking pop music. You’ll wonder how you got such an incredible life. You’ll be someone you could only dream about becoming 10 years ago.

[aggiekay]

Only 188 days until Outlander comes back...

[the-new--romantics-blog]

Guys I just did the math and this time in 188 days I'll be in fiji and I just got super dooper excited.

And I just had this thought. Will anyone else be in fiji at that time? 

[goddamnbuckybarnes]

I just added a countdown to Chicago with Rocky to my blog and oh my good I'm so excited I'm going to cry.

[anonymousprocrastinators-bl-blog]

188 Days until Doctor Who...And so it begins.

[laurenshaw220]

I was reminded this weekend of the struggles of relationships, especially when they're long distance. Distance sucks, and it tests you and your relationship so much. I know eventually it will all be worth it, but right now it just sucks, and I hate it...I can't wait until distance is no longer, and our relationship can move forward not affected by distance and all the crap distance brings.