(this is mostly for my own sake but i’ll post it anyway)
this year was a little stressful as fuck but some shit did happen that i would consider pretty good so
- stopped being so emotionally dependent and realized more parts of life i’d been neglecting
- realized i was probably gay
- came out to my school and family to the point that i’m being called evan by my family and school now
- wrote a shit-ton of gay stuff AND submitted my first piece of creative writing in a competition!
- applied to fucking college and got some scholarships because i’m hardworking and smart despite what i usually tell myself
- bought a lot of video games
- started passing publicly enough that people call me “sir” sometimes!
- did some awesome shit in band with our new boss ass band director
- sTARTED getting a legal name change
- got a sword from my dad with my name engraved on it
- reluctantly joined tiktok and found a very funny gay community there
- laughed my ass off at some funny videos
- started learning how to skateboard!!
- just survived. this year was hard. parents were difficult, i cried a ton about the stress of coming out, i struggled with dysphoria a lot and i know i’ll continue to, but i’m still here. i didn’t give up. that’s worth something.
- had super supportive best friends the whole time
- cried really hard after the first day of the school because coming out was stressful so mom left work to come see me in the walmart parking lot
- found some cool songs and played them on repeat for way too long
- got TWO pairs of socks from my friend for christmas!!! (he got me one pair originally but i was so excited he gave me another!)
- almost had a girlfriend for a minute because i’m too awkward to say no and too quick to get attached when shown affection
- got support from a girl at school who was really understanding about me being trans
- got my MOM to convince the principal to let me wear a tux for my senior pictures!!!!
- had a little sister who supports me so fucking much even tho she’s only six and corrects people when they misgender me and still loves me so much
- became marginally less awkward
i may edit this as i remember things but i want it to exist so i don’t forget all the good things i tend to overlook. hopefully 2020 is better! <3