Not feeling like myself but I will continue posting because I love yall
But I do have to take a step back from the private messages momentarily, I'm just too tired to keep up. I know I'll feel better in a few months when I do actually start showing a bit more
@juliaor for make me write. It’s a bit long so I’ll cut the post after the first fic . 🫶
Includes 🤕(both-I didn’t realize I used the emoji twice 🤦♀️), 🏠, 🥝 , and 🫃
🤕 BuddieTommy - 6 Weeks
Evan’s eyelids fluttered open, his brows furrowing as he blinked sluggishly. His nose scrunched slightly, a telltale sign of discomfort. The overhead fluorescents were off—it was nearly ten at night—but Tommy figured Evan probably had a massive headache anyway.
Then, those familiar baby blues found him.
Tommy’s chest tightened as Evan’s lips curled into a soft, drowsy smile. Relief washed over him. He was awake. He was here. A moment later, Evan’s eyes slipped shut again, exhaustion pulling at him.
“It’s okay to sleep,” Tommy murmured. “We’ll be here.”
He felt Eddie’s gaze on him but didn’t look up. Evan would want Eddie here, and—if Tommy was honest—he liked having Eddie here too.
“Love you,” Evan mumbled, voice thick with sleep.
Tommy squeezed his hand, lifting it to press a kiss to his knuckles before resting it gently on the bed. “I love you too.”
Between one breath and the next, Evan drifted off again.
Tommy glanced up to find Eddie watching Evan, his expression clouded with something unreadable—sadness, maybe, or something heavier.
“He’s going to be okay,” Tommy said, though he wasn’t entirely sure if he was reassuring Eddie or himself.
Eddie tore his gaze from Evan, offering a tight, almost reluctant smile. “Yeah. I know. It just never gets easier.” He cleared his throat, straightening slightly. “I should probably head out now that I know he’s woken up.”
Tommy frowned. “He’d want you here.”
Eddie exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “He’s got you. He doesn’t need me.”
“We both need you.” The words came without thought, but once they were out, Tommy knew they were true.
There was a lot to figure out, a lot to talk about once Evan was fully recovered. Fortunately, despite how terrifying the accident had been, his injuries weren’t life-threatening. He’d need about six weeks to heal—a long six weeks Tommy hoped Eddie would be there for.
“Are you sure?” Eddie asked, hesitant. “I don’t want to overstep.”
“You’re not,” Tommy assured him. “You’ve already been here for almost two days—what’s one more?”
Eddie huffed a quiet laugh, finally relaxing into his chair. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
🤕BuddieTommy - Love Me Through It All
He found them on the couch. Eddie sitting against the armrest, Evan draped half across him, one of Eddie’s hands tangled in Evan’s hair, the other wrapped securely around his waist. The steady, soothing motion of Eddie’s fingers didn’t stop even when he looked up at the sound of Tommy’s approach, his eyes going wide.
“I—I’m sorry,” Eddie murmured. “He wouldn’t calm down. I wasn’t trying to cross any boundaries.”
“It’s fine,” Tommy assured him.
Maybe he should have felt a pang of jealousy. But he had long since understood that Evan and Eddie were a package deal, their relationship deeper than anything Tommy had ever seen. There was no getting between them, nor would he ever want to.
Closing the space between them, Tommy kneeled beside the couch. His eyes flicked over Evan’s face, noting the bruises but relieved to see nothing too swollen. Gently, he reached up, brushing his fingertips over Evan’s cheek.
“Thank you for protecting him,” he said quietly.
Evan stirred at the touch. “Tommy?” he mumbled, his voice slurred, his face still half-buried against Eddie’s chest.
“I’m here, sweetheart.” Tommy ran his thumb lightly over Evan’s cheek, soothing.
Evan hummed contentedly but made no effort to move.
“I’m taking you home, okay?”
“Okay,” Evan muttered but didn’t budge.
Eddie huffed softly, adjusting his hold. “Come on, buddy, let’s get you up.”
It took some coaxing, but they eventually maneuvered Evan into a sitting position—though his fingers never loosened from where they had latched onto Eddie’s sleeve.
“You gotta let me go so you can go home,” Eddie said gently.
“No,” Evan mumbled, his head resting on Eddie’s shoulder. His free hand groped blindly until he found Tommy’s, gripping it just as tightly. “I want to stay here.”
Though his cheek was no longer pressed into Eddie, his speech was still sluggish, and his eyes remained closed. A frown tugged at Tommy’s lips.
“Concussion?” he asked Eddie.
“No,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “I had to give him a sedative to calm him down. This is actually ten times better than he was before.”
Tommy’s stomach tightened. “W-why—”
“No,” Evan mumbled suddenly, curling closer to Eddie like he could disappear into him. “Stop.”
Tommy immediately softened, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “Okay, it’s okay,” he murmured, but his eyes flicked back to Eddie, searching.
Eddie could only offer a small, helpless shrug.
He didn’t know what exactly happened either.
And that didn’t sit well with Tommy at all.
🏠 BuddieTommy - What Makes Me Happy
“I’m moving in with him,” Buck announced, pacing back and forth across his apartment.
Tommy, leaning against the counter, raised an eyebrow. “You can’t just move in with your best friend.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Maybe because he didn’t ask you.”
Buck scoffed. “It’s not like I haven’t forcibly moved in before.”
Tommy tilted his head, smirking. “And here I thought I was your bi-awakening.”
Buck stopped mid-pace, blinking. “What?”
Tommy just laughed, shaking his head. “Nothing. Look, Eddie’s a grown man.”
“Yeah, a self-destructive grown man whose son is in Texas.”
Tommy’s amusement faded. He stood, crossing the space between them. “Evan, what is this really about?”
Buck hesitated before blurting, “Why is he confiding in some priest instead of me?”
“Maybe the priest understands. Maybe he has kids too.”
“He doesn’t,” Buck grumbled. “I checked. And Eddie wasn’t the only one who lost Christopher. I know he’s not my son, but I’ve known that kid since he was seven. He’s been as much a part of my life as Eddie has.”
Tommy’s expression softened. He pulled Buck into his arms, holding him tight. “I know. But you and Eddie need to sit down and actually talk about it. You both miss Chris, but neither of you are saying it.”
“How do I get him to talk when he actively avoids it? Ever since that failed birthday party, he shuts down the second Chris is mentioned.”
“I could lure him to my place for Muay Thai and force him to talk.”
Buck laughed into Tommy’s shoulder, warmth blooming in his chest. “He’d be so pissed at you.”
“Yeah, but you’re my boyfriend. No offense, but as long as you’re happy, everything else is background noise.”
Buck pulled back, intending for just a quick kiss, but Tommy’s arm tightened around him, deepening it. Buck let out a surprised hum, melting into him. Just as things started to heat up, the front door swung open.
“I think we should move in together.”
Buck and Tommy broke apart, whipping around to find Eddie standing in the doorway. He looked just as startled to see them.
“Um, what now?” Buck asked, thoroughly thrown.
Tommy crossed his arms, oozing sass. “You’re asking my boyfriend to move in with you?”
Eddie, looking between them, fumbled. “Uh—well, all three of us, actually.”
Tommy and Buck exchanged glances before Buck huffed. “I’m gonna need you to back up, like, five steps. This morning, you bailed on me for the priest, and now you want us to move in together?”
Eddie cleared his throat. “Right. So, I talked to him about it, and he said if it’s something I want, all I have to do is ask. So I’m asking.” He exhaled. “I want the three of us to live together.”
Buck narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
Eddie hesitated, then said, “Because I need to start letting myself feel joy. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never let myself have anything, not even happiness. When Christopher was born, it was the best day of my life, but it was also the most terrifying.”
Tommy, still skeptical, asked, “And living with us would bring you joy?”
Eddie nodded. “I don’t have a lot of good things in my life right now. I lost Christopher, and I don’t know if or when I’ll get him back. But I’m not giving up. I just—I need to take a step back and figure out what I want. And I want this.” He looked at Tommy. “Right now, when you go home after a shift, what’s it like?”
Tommy shrugged. “Quiet. A little lonely when Evan’s on shift.”
“Do you like living alone?”
“I appreciate the independence, but no. I’ve always liked the idea of living with a partner or a friend.”
Eddie turned to Buck. “And you hate coming home to an empty loft. That’s why you’re always at someone else’s place instead of your own. So imagine this—Tommy, you come home, and Buck and I are already there, making dinner or watching a game. A place that actually feels lived in.”
Buck scoffed. “Correction: I’d be making dinner. You are banned from the stove.”
Eddie laughed but pressed on. “Okay, so Buck’s cooking, I’m pretending to help, and you walk in, and it’s just… home.” He looked back at Buck. “Imagine coming home to Tommy. Imagine all of us coming home to the same place. No more deciding whose place we crash at.”
Buck hesitated. “And if Chris comes back? Wouldn’t you want your own space again?”
Eddie shook his head, firm. “No. We’ve been conditioned to think a ‘real’ family has to be a husband, wife, and kids. But why can’t it be my two best friends and my son? You two are my family.”
🥝BuckTommy - Rekindling the Fire
Arms wrapped tightly around himself, Buck groaned as another wave of nausea hit him like a truck. He was curled up on the firehouse couch, stomach churning, wondering why the hell he couldn’t shake this off.
He had already puked three times, and they were only six hours into the shift.
Everyone was watching him, throwing worried glances his way because he hadn’t been himself for weeks.
At first, he and everyone else, had chalked it up to the breakup. But now they were in the third week of December, and things had officially escalated past the point of denial.
He had done his best to keep the more alarming symptoms hidden.
Like how easily he cried over the dumbest things—for example, his favorite coffee place running out of an ingredient and being unable to make his usual order.
Or how he sometimes got woozy when standing up too fast.
Or the way just existing in his own body felt wrong.
Working out completely wiped him, and he’d been napping at the firehouse way more than usual.
His pectorals ached constantly, and there was a weird, unfamiliar pressure in his lower abdomen.
It didn’t hurt, but it felt—off.
The others had also started questioning his sudden obsession with kiwis.
Not the bird—the fruit.
He’d never loved or hated them before. But now, they were all he wanted. So much so that when Chimney ate the last one in the firehouse, Buck had yelled at him. Loudly.
Nobody touched his kiwis after that.
Then, this morning, hiding his symptoms stopped being an option.
Bobby had asked him to help with breakfast.
Buck opened a pack of bacon.
And suddenly, he was bolting for the bathroom, emptying the limited contents of his stomach.
And that’s when fear crept in.
Because what if—what if he was dying?
What if he’d been ignoring something serious, and now it was too late?
While Buck lay miserably on the couch, Eddie took it upon himself to call Buck’s doctor and schedule an appointment.
The soonest they could fit him in?
Next Friday.
Because of course. That was the U.S. healthcare system. He'd have to wait a whole to week to find out how soon death would be coming for him.
“You should go home,” Hen said, checking his forehead for the millionth time.
Buck sighed. “I don’t have a fever. I’ve never had a fever.”
Hen hummed, not convinced. “Maybe if I check one more time, it’ll magically appear.”
Buck rolled his eyes. “I feel fine.”
Then, another wave of nausea hit, and he groaned.
“Yeah,” Hen deadpanned. “You really look it.”
“Well, dear brother-in-law,” Chimney cut in, grinning in that way that made Buck immediately suspicious. “Maddie’s on her way to pick you up.”
Buck glared at him. “Traitor.”
Chimney shrugged. “I’d feel bad about it if we weren’t all worried about you. Something’s seriously wrong, Buck.”
Buck sighed, rubbing his face. “I know.”
His voice came out whiny, his eyes a little too wet.
And fuck.
He was scared.
“What if we take you to the emergency room?” Hen asked, softer now.
Buck immediately shook his head.
Absolutely not. He hated the hospital. Hated the emergency room. Too many trips there over the last few years had made him practically allergic to the place.
Or—as allergic as one could be to a building.
And then there was Tommy.
The last time Buck had been in the hospital, Tommy was there.
Tommy took him home.
Tommy took care of him.
And now?
Now Tommy wasn’t here.
Fresh tears pricked at Buck’s eyes, and he hated himself for it.
A little over a month since the breakup, and he still felt like it had just happened.
Heartbroken. Confused. Sad. Lonely.
If they were still together, Tommy wouldn’t have let him spiral like this. Would have probably ignored Buck’s objections to the ER and take him no matter what. Because Tommy cared about him.
Or at least… Buck thought he did.
He wasn’t too sure anymore.
He spent the last month replaying that night over and over and over again, trying to pinpoint exactly where he fucked up.
Some nights, he went as far back as their six-month anniversary date and listed every single mistake he made that night, too.
But no matter how much he analyzed it, the result was always the same.
Tommy walked out.
And Buck was left with a broken heart. Again.
How many people had to break up with him before he got the message?
For fuck’s sake, his own parents didn’t love him.
How the hell was he supposed to expect anyone else to?
He could barely even love himself.
“Hey.” Maddie’s voice was gentle, but Buck didn’t flinch.
If it were any other time, he might have been startled, not realizing she had arrived.
Instead, he just curled in on himself.
She was on her knees beside the couch, a warm hand rubbing slow circles on his back.
“Buck, you’re working yourself up.” Her voice was soft. Careful. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong.”
He knew she was worried. But what could he say? How could he say it without sounding pathetic?
That he was tired. That he was so tired of searching for love and never being enough. That he just wanted someone to stay. That he was so fucking exhausted from trying so hard only to be left again and again. That maybe—just maybe—it would be easier to stop trying entirely.
"I just want to be loved."
The words slipped out, unfiltered, raw, real.
And Buck didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed about it.
Maddie didn’t hesitate.
She leaned over him, pulling him into a hug as best as she could from their position.
🫃BuckTommy - Unfinished Business
“Hey.”
The voice sent a shock through his system. He didn’t have to look up to know who it was. He hadn’t heard that voice in a year, and yet, it still did things to him.
Still, he forced a smile as he met Tommy’s gaze. “Hey.”
“Mind if I sit?” Tommy gestured to the space beside him.
Buck shifted, making room. “Yeah.”
Tommy sat, watching as Buck rocked Haven gently against his legs. She was starting to fuss, probably hungry after the chaos of the night.
“I guess you have questions,” Buck murmured, avoiding his gaze.
Tommy exhaled, nodding. “I do. But only if you want to answer them. I’m not entitled to your life anymore. I mostly wanted to check on you both—make sure you’re okay. That someone’s coming to get you.”
“Oh. No, I haven’t called anyone,” Buck admitted, rubbing his free hand over his face. “I think I’m still in shock. I feel like I’m barely hanging on by a thread.” His voice wavered, betraying just how close he was to breaking.
Tommy hesitated, then asked, “What about her mother? Should we call her, let her know you two are safe?”
Buck let out a hollow, humorless laugh. “There is no mother.”
“Oh.” Tommy shifted awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Evan. I didn’t mean to assume—”
“There’s no mother because her father is a carrier.”
Tommy’s brow furrowed. “Oh. That’s… great. I mean—not great, but, uh—” He cleared his throat. “I definitely shouldn’t have assumed. Should we call him, then? Let him know you’re safe? You can borrow my phone if you need—”
“Tommy.” Buck’s voice was firm as he finally met his gaze. “I’m the carrier.”
Tommy blinked, his breath catching as his eyes darted between Buck and Haven. “You’re a carrier?” he echoed carefully.
“I didn’t know,” Buck admitted, shaking his head. “I grew up in a house where that ‘wasn’t real.’ They never got me tested, and after a while, it was just… an abstract thing. A couple of weeks after we broke up, I ended up in the hospital for dehydration—I couldn’t keep anything down, was constantly throwing up. Everyone was worried, but turns out, it was because this little bean was growing inside me.” His voice softened as he looked at Haven, a small smile breaking through the exhaustion. God, he loved her.
“You were pregnant…”
“When we broke up, yes.”
Tommy’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “W-why didn’t you tell me?”
Buck’s jaw tightened. “Because you left.”
Tommy's face fell, but Buck wasn’t finished. He turned toward him fully, his glare sharp with frustration and lingering hurt. “I told you I wanted a future with you. I wanted to build something with you. And you said no. You walked away. Why would I have told you about Haven when you made it so clear you didn’t want that life with me?”
“Evan, that’s not—”
“Isn’t it, though?” Buck pressed. “I brought up marriage, moving in together, a future. And instead of saying yes, or even ‘I want that, just not yet,’ you bailed. Why would I have come to you after that and said, ‘oh, by the way, we’re having a baby’?” His voice cracked. “I wasn’t going to force you into a life you already told me you didn’t want.”
Tommy inhaled sharply. “Evan, you wouldn’t have forced me. I would have—” He stopped, shaking his head. “I would have wanted to be there.”
Buck let out a slow breath, staring down at Haven. “Would you?” he asked quietly. “Because back then, if I told you about her and you said you didn’t want to be involved… it would’ve broken me.” His throat burned as he fought to hold it together. “I was already barely holding on. I had just lost you, then I found out I was pregnant—something I never thought was possible. If I had to hear you say you didn’t want her either, I don’t think I would have survived that.”
Tommy was silent for a long moment. Then, just as he opened his mouth, voices broke through the chaos of the scene.
“Buck! Haven!”
Buck’s head snapped up. Relief flooded him as he spotted Bobby and Athena pushing through the crowd, scanning for them.
For the first time since the fire started, something inside him loosened. He wasn’t alone. They were here.
