🦌🌕💐☀️🚗
🤭🤭🤭
you cheeky!! also, later than expected but finally getting to the make me writes!!
🦌
It doesn't take them long to get set up in the kitchen.
Buck finds an apron in a drawer. Tommy helps him find the pot and utensils he'll need. Tells him Bobby got a new set for the firehouse when he started, the kitchen had never seen that much action before. Buck tells him about Bobby cooking all the time at home, in return.
They wash their hands standing side by side, shoulders knocking into one another.
"When I left the army," Tommy tells him while chopping the veggies Buck put in front of him. "There wasn't much left for me to do except join the fire department." He shrugs and Buck almost regrets asking the question. Almost.
"I'd say the uniform suits you well," Buck smirks, catching Tommy's eyes from the other side of the kitchen island. Watches as the blush runs down his neck, down his chest and wonders how far it goes. Hmm. "Cut the peppers thinner, please."
Tommy blinks in susprise at the sudden change of subject before looking down. "Right," He chuckles at the veggies on his chopping board. "I did tell you that I didn't know how to cook."
"And I told you I would teach you." Buck grins, stirring the pot with a wooden spoon. "Besides, you're doing a great job."
"Thank you." It's soft and Buck wants. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"What brought you to LA?" Tommy asks. "I know Captain Nash is from Minnesota, what about you?"
"Oh, I'm from Minnesota too, go Vikings!" Buck holds up a fist and Tommy laughs, echoing the loft and making the fire in Buck's chest blaze hot and bright. "I've known Bobby since I was 9 years old. When he got his transfer to LA, I came with him. I'm actually going through the fire academy now." Tommy smiles and nods. "You can say, he's the one who inspired me to be a firefighter." He smiles, thinking of how large the Captain's helmet used to fit in his small head.
"He isn't?" Tommy asks, eyes stuck on his like he sees him. Like he hears the things Buck doesn't say, that he hides with jokes and teasing and flirting.
"W-Well, my mom was a nurse," The past tense still sticks to his throat, hurts, claws. "I spent my whole life watching her take care of people, save people. So, it was probably between being a nurse or a firefighter." He doesn't tell Tommy that the sight of a nurse's scrubs still sends him into a spiral, that it takes everything in him to set foot into a hospital.
"I'd say whatever uniform you chose would suit you well," Tommy's shoulders bump into his as he repeats what Buck said before in his own way. Buck almost fumbles with the board in his hand as he adds his cut veggies to the large pot. "But I'd love to see how the turnouts fit you."
"I uh, I have to pass the Fire Academy first," Buck blushes, focusing on the way the wooden spoon moves inside the simmering pot. "C-Can you pass me the peppers, please?"
Tommy grabs the chopping board with his cut peppers, sliding them into the pot carefully. Buck keeps stirring, aware of Tommy's body so close to his. "You will, by the way, pass the Fire Academy."
"You think so?" He turns to Tommy who hasn't moved away, close, very close. He glances down at the other man's lips, up at his bright eyes.
🌕
He doesn't see Tommy on Saturday.
I'm sorry, I have to stay home with Christopher.
That's alright, Evan.
Are we still on for Monday?
Buck's heart feels like it should be hammering in his chest and he bites his lip.
Definitely.
Monday morning, Buck puts on a t-shirt and gym shorts.
There's a gym close to Eddie's house that has tinted windows. Eddie goes there all the time. Buck messages Tommy, tells him that he's about to leave the house.
I'll see you soon, then ;)
That swarming feeling in his gut pops up again, warm, full.
Eddie rubs his eyes as he leaves his room. With his chest on display, Buck sees the scars from the army, sees the big one on his neck, the one that turned him. Buck's wrist has the same scar, still red, still bright, almost like a neon sign to his radial arteries.
"Mornin'," Eddie mumbles and frowns as he sets his eyes on him. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Uh, yeah," He shuffles on his feet. "I-I told you I was going to the gym today."
"No, you didn't," His frown deepens and Buck feels stuck in place, like the ground is unstable. "I am going on shift today, it's on the calendar."
"Eddie, I-"
"I need you to stay home with Chris today. He doesn't have school today, remember?"
Buck's mind is racing. Eddie's eyes are heavy and hold his.
Did he not tell Eddie?
Did Eddie ask him to watch Chris?
Maybe. Probably.
"I have to start training for my recertification," His voice is quiet, almost begging, his phone feeling heavy in his pocket. "I thought-"
"Come on, Buck, your test is not for another two months, you'll be fine if you miss one day." His hand lands on his shoulder and Buck has the irrational thought that he's meant to kneel, to submit.
He shakes his head, nods, clears his throat. Unstable. "Uhm, right, right."
"So we're good?" Eddie asks, eyes focused. Buck nods, automatically. "Good, I'm gonna go get ready. I think Chris talked about pancakes yesterday."
"Yeah, sure." Buck nods again, feels his brain rattle in his skull.
Eddie claps his shoulder with a wide smile and Buck's knees feel weak.
"Chris!" Eddie calls down the hall, Buck's ears ring. "Buck is gonna make pancakes!"
"What?" He hears from the closed bedroom door before he assumes the words register. "I love pancakes, you're the best, Buck!"
His best friend turns to him again, a grin on his lips. "Hear him? You're the best, Buck." He winks before he turns around.
💐
"My sister tells me there are better ways to get someone's attent-"
There's a kiss — fast, chaste, unexpected.
And he wonders how June felt when the dahlias bloomed, if she felt an explosion of colour inside her chest, so sudden, warm, beautiful. A shout of excitement feels right. A breath of relief escapes his chest in the space left between their chests. Maybe the dahlias also felt relief at being tended to by caring hands, at being coaxed out of the ground with patient persuasion.
He thinks of how many people were too impatient, too annoyed by the needs of a dahlia to wait, to be graced by their beauty. He wonders if Tommy has planted dahlias before, if he knew to tend to them, wait for them, coax them out of the ground. If he's watched them bloom and smiled, whooped, breathed in relief.
"That okay?"
And Buck wants to tell him all about the dahlias. Wants to tell him that he knows how they feel now — that he gets how hard it is to breach the soil into the big world above on their own, that he gets waiting for someone worthy, someone patient, someone who will appreciate it.
"Better than fake mouth static."
It's too soon.
☀️
Bobby sits in front of him on a booth at the back of the restaurant and orders for them when Evan shrugs when asked what he wants. He orders juice, coffee, pancakes, waffles and eggs. It's a lot. Evan eats most of it very quickly and his stomach settles for the first time in years.
"Do you want more?"
He shakes his head, cheeks flushed pink and his hands fidgeting with the napkin in his hand.
"It's okay if you do."
"I think I lost my job," Evan says, still looking at the napkin. "I was already late when Sargeant Grant arrested me and my boss is strict." It had felt too much like being back at the farmhouse and he thought about flying, leaving but then Connor smiled and hugged him and he stayed.
Family.
He can hear the frown in Bobby's face. "I'll just order anothe-" Evan takes hold of his wrist stopping him from flagging the waiter.
"Please, no more," He whispers, embarassed. "I don't know why you are doing this but I can take care of myself, I just-"
"I'm doing this because I see something in you, kid," Bobby interrupts, making sure to hold eye contact with him. "I want to help you." He presses the words into Evan and it feels like a stubborn 7-year-old giving him a name and calling him brother.
"Sargeant Grant arrested me because I don't have a license," He explains. In the name of honesty? Maybe. As a last ditch effort to push Bobby away? Likely. "And I don't have a license because I don't have documentation."
You're nothing without us, the Buckleys would say. You don't belong anywhere.
"Are you in trouble?"
Evan wants to laugh. Trouble. If it was only that easy. He wants to laugh but he cries. He feels tears falling down his cheeks, his vision blurring and his throat closing up. It reminds him of cold nights, crying under blankets without brotherly arms wrapped around him.
Bobby grabs hold of his hand, firm, steady and Evan feels the tears fall more and more.
"I can help you, kid, I want to help you, ok?" Bobby repeats and Evan wants to scream, to push him away, to fly far far away. Bobby's hold anchors him down.
Family.
🚗
It was a school project.
He was the only one in his class paired with a boy from Pennsylvania and Evan was the only one in his class with a boy from California. It was meant to last a year, from September to June. They were meant to talk about what they were learning about, share their thoughts and help each other with school work, exchanging emails each week.
And they did that.
Tommy learned how much Evan liked Science class and Chemistry and, in turn, Tommy helped him with English. Evan helped him with fractions, Tommy helped him with Spanish conjugations. They were both terrible at it.
But he also learned that Evan had an older sister and that he hated playing football but did it to please his parents. Tommy told him about how he wished to have siblings and that his father wasn't around much. He learned that Evan liked to talk, his emails often reaching two thousand words each. And he'd read it, treasure every word.
It was meant to last a year.
But they kept exchanging e-mails. And when they reached highschool, there was a messaging app they logged in through their e-mails. It made it easier to talk, to call each other whenever they had the time. Evan became his best friend, which became the target of Lucy, Sal and Gina's teasing.
He came out to Evan first. Fingers trembling as he wrote down the words I'm gay on his phone. And Evan hadn't hated him, hadn't left. He had welcomed him, accepted him.
They had known each other for years now.
