(I normally hc him as aro-spec, so ace dex is a delightful vibe check that I ADORE)
~Dex is one of those aces that (when they’re all older) either makes or laughs at a lot of innuendo-ey humor, and most people are confused like, aren’t you ace?? but in reality it’s part of his coping mechanism bc he went such a long time thinking it was a bad thing that he didn’t experience sexual attraction that he tried to cover it up (no I’m not projecting at me from two years ago shhhh)
~at first he didn’t even realize he was ace, because he experienced such a strong aesthetic attraction to people (aesthetic attraction being ‘wow, i could LOOK so HARD at you’ like one might at a particularly vibrant sunset) (again, totally not projecting)
~because of his asexuality, it took him a long time to figure out his orientation. Did he like Sophie because he was romantically attracted to her, because he she was his first Best Friend and he craved that (tfw you are someones friend but you still somehow want to be MORE their friend, am i right) or because she was objectively pretty and he had that heteronormativity mindset??
~in the end he realizes he’s a gay oriented ace :))
~(when sophie comes out as aro-spec lesbian, they joke about how kissing each other made them both aspec and gay) (JUST GIVE ME WLW/MLM SOPHIE/DEX SOLIDARITY OKAY)
~a big part of Dex learning to accept himself was when Tam came out as sex-repulsed ace, and then Linh came out as ace too :)))
~after he came out to Biana (he came out to each of the keeper crew individually) she hugged him really hard and then they had a fun hang-out session where she painted his nails the ace pride colours
Just literally any nurseydex fluff w ace Dex please and thanks 😙
I’m not sure if this has too many feelings for fluff, but I’m pretty happy with it. Hopefully you are, tooRead it (and other Ace!Dex fics) here on AO3!
When Dex opened the door to his and Nursey’s room, he stopped with one foot through the threshold. It was not how he left it that morning. It was… well, it was clean. It wasn’t that their room was usually messy, but it was never clean unless Dex was the one who cleaned it.
That morning, before he left for his first class, there had been a pile of sweaters and cardigans on Nursey’s bed; he was looking for his favorite, which had somehow ended up at the bottom of the drawer (again). There were also snack wrappers littering the floor from their marathon the night before, and the growing collection of empty coffee mugs that never made it back down to the kitchen was threatening to tumble over the edge of Nursey’s desk.
All of that was gone now. On top of that, the bookshelf that was usually overflowing with Nursey’s frankly ridiculous collection of books had been straightened out and it looked like the beds had been made (not well, but they weren’t the usual nest, at least). Dex could even smell a weird mix of off brand Fabreze and Bitty’s “Sweet Home Georgia” candles.
He couldn’t see Nursey anywhere, but there was a familiar off-key humming in the bathroom. Nursey never cleaned the bathroom. Neither did Chowder. Dex was the only one who ever did (and frankly, he was okay with that because he knew that he was doing a thorough job of it).
He had no clue what was going on, but something had to be. He wanted to believe it was innocent, but that horrible, destructive part of his brain said that it was bad and wrong. It was an apology, that Nursey was breaking up with Dex, that he couldn’t deal with no sex, that he was cheating, that, that, that.
Except Dex knew better than to let himself get lost in intrusive thoughts. He trusted Nursey, and he trusted that Nursey would come to him if he had a problem. And, even if that wasn’t the case, they already had the Polyamory Talk, and Nursey knew that if he needed more than Dex could give him, sexually, then they could discuss Nursey going outside of the relationships for those needs. They were good. They were solid.
But he still had no clue why Nursey was cleaning, so he dropped his bookbag, leaned against his desk, and waited. He was impatient, but thankfully only had to wait through a song and a half before his boyfriend finished whatever he was doing in the bathroom.
Nursey tripped coming out of the bathroom, and Dex couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked. He was wearing his fuzzy green sweater, but the black jeans he spent five minutes hopping into were nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t unusual for Nursey to walk around in just a comfy shirt and boxers, but it was a very strange sight to see that paired with thick rubber gloves, and one of Bitty’s soft blue aprons.
“You’re early!” Nursey tugged off the gloves and tossed them toward the trash can, missing by two feet. There was a blush rising on his cheeks as he walked over to Dex and pressed a small kiss to his cheek, a habit he had gotten into since Dex wasn’t always in a mood to accept affection.
“Bitty’s going to fucking kill you when he finds out that you took one of his aprons.” Dex gave him an unimpressed look, but pulled him back in for a real kiss, soft but solidly against Nursey’s lips.
Nursey blushed darker. “I don’t have any clothes I don’t mind getting bleach on, and I didn’t want to ruin anything of yours without asking.”
The embarrassed look was actually adorable on Nursey. He was usually so confident and shameless, Dex never got to see this side of him. Part of him wanted to ease whatever nerves his boyfriend was feeling. The bigger part of him wanted to poke at him a bit first. An old reflex.
He raised an eyebrow at Nursey, but grabbed his hand in a loose hold. “So, what’s up with this whole maid act you have going on?”
Nursey shrugged his shoulders and shifted around on his feet. “I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’re a huge sap and a great boyfriend. You remember to buy me the off brand of octopus gummies that I like, and you give me shoulder rubs when I read all hunched over, and you watched three and a half hours of animated 70s Star Trek with me last night even though I know you hated every second of it.”
None of that was wrong, but Dex didn’t do any of it to be a good boyfriend, or to earn points. He just wanted to make Nursey happy. Sure, he prefered Haribo to the off brand, but it wasn’t exactly a huge sacrifice to save money on junk food. The massages were preventative, so he didn’t have to hear Nursey bitching all night about aches. And okay, Star Trek the Animated Series was a bit painful to watch, but he spent most of the time watching his boyfriend, anyway. Dex loved the little dimples that Nursey got when he giggled at the bad writing.
And, on top of all of that, Nursey was acting like he never did anything for Dex. The reality was that he gave up a lot for Dex; more than a lot of people would be willing to give up. More than anyone else had given up for Dex.
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate all this, I really do, but you gave up sex for me, Nursey. You’re always going to win the best boyfriend contest between the two of us.”
Nursey rolled his eyes so hard that Dex was surprised his head didn’t roll right off his shoulders.
“Screw that. That’s not me being a good boyfriend, dude, that’s being a decent human being. Being a good boyfriend is this shit. Cleaning, and queueing a season of Top Chef Masters on my Netflix, and making sure the living room was clear for at least two hours so we could binge it and drink the whole gross ass pitcher of Arnold Palmers I made for you.”
That was… Dex didn’t even know how to feel about that. He was overwhelmed that nursey would go through all that trouble just for him. They didn’t keep lemonade in the Haus, since Dex was the only one who drank it. That meant that Nursey went to the murder stop and shop just for him. And on top of that, he was willing to watch Top Chef Masters? Nursey had watched exactly two episodes before, and told Dex that he would rather sort through dirty jockstraps than watch a third.
And okay, he could see Nursey doing those things without having to go out of his way too much. But reserving time alone in the living room?
It was impossible to get everyone to agree to clear out of the living room of the Haus. There was always someone hanging around, between Bitty starting a queer athletes association, Tango’s premed study groups, and Mikey, who practically camped out there because he was having a hard time adjusting to college life. Dex couldn’t even imagine how many favors Nursey had to call into make that happen.
Nursey pulled Dex out of his thoughts by tugging on his hand and asking, “You alright? You have constipation face.”
“You really did all that for me?” His voice felt small, which made him feel stupid. He could feel his ears turning red in embarrassment. But it felt… extraordinarily nice to have his boyfriend doing things for him, even little things. He loved Nursey, and he knew Nursey loved him, but knowing something was different than seeing the evidence right in front of him.
“Dude, ch’yeah. I mean, it’s all stuff you’ve done for me before.”
Nursey must have been able to see something on his face, Dex’s discomfort over the situation (or, more accurately, his discomfort over his own feelings), and say anything more. Instead, he whipped off his (Bitty’s) apron and started pulling Dex back toward their bedroom door.
“We have the couch from 3 to 5. We have enough time to get everything settled and kick everyone out, then it’s two hours of quality couch cuddles.”
As good as privacy was, their beds were tiny. Cuddling on the couch sounded pretty fucking great. He quickly kicked off his shoes and started following nursey down the stairs. He pulled back for a second at the top stair and asked, “Don’t you want to put on pants first?”
Nursey threw a smirk over his shoulder and said, “Nah, it’s chill.”
Ok but nurseydex where Dex just poured out his gay little heart to Best Friend Chowder. Everything from realising it n hiding it up to recently, to his MASSIVE CRUSH ON NURSEY not realising that a)the bathroom door is slightly open and b) nursey just walked into the bathroom to shower and overheard the crush part and what happens after that?!?!? (Ace Dex or no thats down to u but also i always love all ur ace Dex fics) (also also no pressure to answer! Have a great day)
I wanted to do something fun, so I wrote this from Chowder's perspective :)I guess technically this is an ace!dex fic, but only in passing
Read it on AO3 here!
Chowder looked up from where he was studying. He was pretty sure that he heard a noise outside his door. It wasn’t like he believed in Jenny and Mandy, except he totally did, but Ransom never gave him the impression that they were malicious, so he couldn’t imagine them making noise outside his room. Which meant that it had to be someone else.
After another creak (definitely not a pair of lesbian ghosts, then, since ghosts don’t have weight and they couldn’t make the floorboards shift around), there was a pause, then a light tap on his closed door.
Happy to have a distraction from his ichthyology textbook, he bounced out of his chair and pulled the door open. Definitely not ghosts! On the other side of the door was a slightly distressed looking Dex. Well, distressed for Dex, which was two parts angry and one part really, really tired.
“Hey, Dex. Wanna come in? What’s on your mind?” Chowder already knew what was on his mind.
There was only one reason that Dex ever looked like that, and it made Chowder almost long for the textbook he was dying to get away from just minutes earlier. He loved Nursey and he loved Dex, but if he had to talk to Dex about Nursey or Nursey about Dex one more time, he might actually lock them in their room together so they couldn’t keep escaping to his.
Dex shuffled around for a minute like he was going to run away, probably because Dex was just about the most emotionally constipated person in the entire Haus. Eventually, he scrubbed a hand through his hair and nodded.
He made his way straight to Chowder’s bed, just like he always did when he came to talk to Chowder about his feelings, so that he could hug Sharkie to his chest. Yup, definitely a Nursey problem.
Chowder sat back down on his desk chair, facing Dex. Over the years that all three of them had been friends, Chowder had perfected how to talk to Dex and Nursey about problems. With Nursey, you had to keep pressing, because he was likely to get off topic (accidentally on purpose) if he wasn’t kept on track. Dex, though, needed a lot of silence so that he could take his time to form this thoughts.
So, that’s what Chowder did. They sat together in silence, and Chowder tried his hardest not to look longingly at his textbook, because even though this was valuable time he could be spending pretending to study, his friend was more important than that.
It didn’t take Dex long at all finally blurt out, “I have a problem.”
Which… duh. That was pretty clear from the fact that he was hugging Sharkie so tight that it looked like his eyes were about to pop out. And because that Nursey had already been by that morning and mentioned that it looked like Dex hadn’t slept in his bed last night. Chowder didn’t say that, though, because of the whole silence thing, and also because that would be super rude.
“Let’s pretend that you aren’t in a relationship with Farmer. And that you have a crush on someone, but you don’t want to make things awkward because you spend a lot of time with them, and you’re pretty sure they hate you. Oh and in this scenario, you’re also, uh… You know what, fuck it. I’m so fucking in love with Nursey, dude. And it’s seriously cramping my style. What the fuck do I do?”
Chowder was pretty sure that Shitty had stashed some emergency fireworks in the basement, and he almost felt like searching for them so that he could set them off to celebrate the fact that finally one of them admitted it. Instead, he nodded solemnly.
“Well, you… talk to Nursey about it?”
The look on Dex’s face was hilarious and Chowder had a hard time not laughing at him. His eyes were so wide they looked like dinner plates, and his eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline.
“What? No! I can’t do that. Chowder, c’mon, man.”
Dex stood up and walked the few fee over to Dex. He put both hands on Dex’s shoulders and made sure to look him straight in the eye. “Dude, i love you. It’ll be okay. I can even moderate if you want!”
Instead of giving Dex time to respond, or think about it, or even process what he was doing, Chowder walked over to the bathroom so that he could get Nursey (boy, was it convenient having connecting rooms). Chowder resisted the urge to bang his head against the bathroom door, because holy crap his life would be so much easier if his two best friends just talked to each other for once. Instead, he opened it.
The thing was, when three 20 year old guys share a bathroom in a frat house, you learn to stop expecting anything when you went in said bathroom. Sometimes it was clean (mostly that was because of Dex), but sometimes it was full of gross dirty laundry that sometimes forgot to grab after they showered. And at least one time, someone (Chowder still wasn’t sure who it was, and frankly he didn’t want to know) had left a sex toy stuck to the wall of the shower.
So, at least a little part of him wasn’t super surprised when something tumbled out of the door when he pulled it open. He was, however, surprised to see that the thing that fell into his room was, in fact, a very naked and slightly damp Nursey, who scrambled to grab the towel a few feet away that Chowder guessed he had wrapped around his waist before he fell.
Nursey turned an amazing shade of red and blurted out, “I was showering. I wasn’t eavesdropping… on purpose?”
If it were possible, which Chowder would have said it wasn’t, except he saw it for himself, Dex looked even more embarrassed than Nursey was. Somehow he looked both incredibly pale, and bright red at the same time. It was actually really impressive. You wouldn’t know it, though, from how steady his voice was.
“How much did you hear, Nursey?”
Instead of answering right away, Nursey slowly picked himself up off the floor (and it kind of looked like he hurt himself, which wouldn’t be at all a surprise to Chowder). He carefully wrapped his towel around his waist, making sure to knot it tightly this time.
When he finally had nothing to fake distraction with, he shuffled his feet and muttered, “Uh, I definitely didn’t hear you say that you’re in love with me.”
Dex groaned and buried his face in Sharkie, then immediately pulled back and pushed Sharkie to the side, which Chowder thought was very rude. There was nothing wrong with hugging a plushie, even Bitty had one and he was one of the strongest people Chowder knew.
Chowder looked between Nursey and Dex to see who would start first, but neither of them looked like they were going to talk any time soon, which was hilarious to him, since he could barely get a minute to himself with all the talking they normally wanted to do about each other. The second they had to talk to each other, they both clammed up.
Chowder had to do everything around here!
“So, Nursey, what do you think of what Dex said about his crush hating him?”
Nursey frowned, and wow was that a weird look on him. Even when he was complaining to Chowder about how annoying Dex was, nagging about making sure his dirty laundry was in a hamper, or that his books weren’t all over the floor, or about how frustrating it was that Dex as so cute when he nagged, he never actually frowned. Nursey’s face was always chill.
“I don’t hate him. Like, at all. You’re my best friend, C, but Dex is… Dex.”
On Chowder’s bed, Dex snorted. “Fucking eloquent, Nurse. I can really hear that poet in you coming out.”
Nursey opened his mouth to respond, with something totally unrelated that would end up getting them so off topic, Chowder was sure. So, naturally, he cut off Nursey to keep that from happening.
“So if you don’t hate him, then how do you feel about him having feelings about you?”
For someone who was 6’2” and basically pure muscle, and also basically naked, he looked awfully small standing there under Dex’s suddenly very focused gaze. “I dunno. I figured he hated me, too. Which is why i never told him what a massive crush I have on him.”
Chowder beamed at them. It had only taken two years and two months, but finally they were making progress! He gave Nursey a tight squeeze, even though it meant getting a little wet, and squeezed Dex’s knee as he passed by on the way to his desk. If it were possible to look smug while holding an ichthyology textbook and a neon highlighter, Chowder was pretty sure he did.
“I’ll just head downstairs to study, while you two talk about things.”
On his way out the door, he heard dex clear his throat and say, “so, i guess i wanna date you, but the thing is, I’m ace and-”
His best friends were going to be boyfriends, soon enough, and when he got downstairs, Bitty was making vinegar pie. Man, life was good.
Ok so im curious about the nurseydex polyamory talk? Did it rise partially from dex being sure nursey would dump him over sex? Has Nursey ever considered being w anyone? Who? In what capacity? (Just sex or dating too?) How would they both feel? What if the other person isnt nice about Dex's asexuality and Dex accepts it like yeah ppl say that haha and Nursey is like Get out of here its over no one insults my Dexey (i know u just posted ace dex nurseydex sorry im asking so soon!!)
Oh my god,i am always here to talk about ace poly dex, okay? and this got super long, so hcs under the cut :)
Dex doesn’t initiate the PolyaTalk because he thinks nursey will break up with him or cheat on him or anything. The way he sees it, sex is a thing that Nursey wants but Dex can’t (or won’t) give him, so it only makes sense for Nursey to find it another place. What Nursey does outside of their relationship won’t make him love Dex any less, it won’t hurt anything, so why not?
So, here’s how it could go
---Dex and nursey mutually agree to date a third together, and nursey and that person have a sexual component to their relationship. All three hold an equal place in the relationship.
---Nursey alone dates a third person and that relationship is romantic and sexual (and so that person and Dex are metamours).
---Nursey has an exclusively sexual, but not romantic, relationships outside of Dex. his could be two things: either one partner in a friends with benefits arrangement, or multiple one-time partners (hookups and one night stands).
I love and support every single one of these options (and i’ve honestly been meaning to write more poly nurseydex, but it never fit into any of the prompts I’ve received)
I think they’d be open to any one of these (and since I’m a multishipper, i deff have ideas for all of these), but the way I see their relationship progressing is beginning with C, with an eventual option for B. Not because dex is against having another partner so that they’re a trio, but because Dex is happily in love with nursey and in love with his relationship with nursey. Whereas Nursey has a lot of love to give and wouldn’t mind multiple romantic partners.
At first, Nursey is really hesitant. Like, he goes along with it because he can see how much Dex wants him to, but he’s unsure. He thinks it’s a concession that Dex is making, that it’s something dex feels like he needs to do for nursey instead of something he wants to do for them both (and for himself). So, nursey goes along with it for Dex but doesn’t actually intend to ever hookup with anyone.
One of their rules is that nursey needs to tell dex if something does happen (i can be after the fact, and a simple ‘hey i hooked up last night with so and so’, just so dex knows what’s going on). For the first few months, dex just kinda waits, but after a while, he’s wondering what’s going on. So, they have the PolyaTalk Pt 2.
It goes very badly.
“I don’t know, baby, i just figure you were giving me permission, but didn’t actually want me to go screw around.”
“By making unilateral decisions about our relationship, decision that go against the things we already discussed and agreed on, you’re basically telling me that you don’t want or care about my input. About our fucking relationship, nurse. And on o;p of that, you just decided that either i lied to you or that you know be better than i know myself, and frankly i’m not sure which i find more insulting. I know you meant well, derek, but honestly what the fuck. Just… I’ll be back, i need to take a walk.”
(dex is working on taking a step back so that he can think and respond instead of reacting and lashing out. Nursey means well, Dex, it’s just hard for our allosexual partners to consider things from all ends)
They do end up working it out in the end.
For partners who Nursey just has sex with, he doesn’t tell them about being in a relationship or about Dex at all. Mostly because they’re not entitled to that information, and also because it means outing Dex to properly explain, and he would never do that to his boyfriend.
After a bit, Nursey gets comfortable with how things are working and tries to pick up someone at a kegster. The guy saw Nursey and dex earlier in the party, and comments on it, so Nursey just kinda “yeah, he’s ace, so…”. “Oh, okay. So it’s just a fake relationship anyway…” and so they summarily banned that guy from ever entering the Haus again.
Once, they ran into one of his one night stands in the middle of the murder Stop-N-Shop, and the person had very strong feelings about cheating, and punched Nursey in the chips aisle. They explained everything once everyone calmed down, and the person was extremely embarrassed.
That was the first person Nursey went on a date with (because nursey found the way they blushed extremely endearing, and he was impressed by the way they could throw a punch even though they were about a foot shorter than Nursey). They were understanding about Dex being ace, and got along with the whole hockey team really well, but in the end decided that they were looking for a monogamous relationship.
This is... rather loosely based on your prompt. Disclaimer: I don’t identify as ace -- maybe a little gray -- so if anything about this ficlet is inaccurate or offensive, let me know and I’ll correct/take it down.
“I‘m not saying you can’t have a relationship without it. I’m just saying it’s an important part of a lot of relationships.”
Nursey punctuates his point with a stab of the joint into the air, like it’s the tip of a sword. They’re high and on the porch of the Haus and hanging, and somehow the topic’s turned to sex. All Dex said was that he doesn’t think it’s that big a deal. Which is apparently the hill Nursey’s decided to die on tonight.
Dex isn’t about to back down, either. “It’s overrated,” he says. “The media wants you to think it’s super important, but it’s not. It’s not the most important thing.”
“I didn’t say it’s the most important thing,” Nursey counters, “but it is important. People have needs. You have to go into a relationship knowing those needs are gonna be a factor, sooner or later.”
“So you think if you don’t want sex you shouldn’t even date?”
Nursey gesticulates wildly. “Is that what I said? No! That’s not what I said!”
Dex, on the other hand, keeps his voice and face carefully even. “Then what are you saying, Nurse?”
For a minute it looks like Nursey’s going to explode with some kind of a frantic point. But he deflates instead, sighing. “Look. What I’m saying is, you can’t start dating someone and expect that they’re never gonna want to have sex. It’s gonna come up. If you’re not interested in it, ever, that’s something somebody oughta know ahead of time.”
“So what, then?” Dex retorts, annoyed by Nursey’s sudden calm. “I should walk into a date and say hi, nice to meet you, oh and by the way i’m never gonna bone you, still want to go for drinks?”
“You’re putting words in my mouth, Dex--” Nursey stops. Recalculates the meaning of the words in his head. Blinks at Dex. “Wait. You?”
“I-- um.” Dex flushes. He didn’t realize he’d changed pronouns. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
Nursey’s expression is full of curiosity -- and, more than that, a kind of realization Dex can’t characterize. “No, wait, I wanna know,” he presses. “You’re ace?”
Dex blinks. “I’m what?”
“Ace. Asexual. Like, you don’t feel sexual attraction.”
Nursey says it like it’s obvious, but Dex has to sit there and process the implication. Is that a thing? There are people like him, enough people for it to have a name? He’s silent for a minute, doing the mental math, trying to figure out what this moment means. “I… didn’t know there was a word for it,” he admits in a shy mumble.
At his words, Nursey’s face softens. “Dude, I’m sorry.” he says. “I didn’t know.”
All at once Dex is embarrassed beyond belief. “Forget it.”
“No. I mean it. I didn’t realize…”
“Forget it.” And Dex should really leave it there, but he’s high and he’s never had a chance to say any of this out loud and... “Look, I don’t know what it is, I just... don’t feel anything. Looking at someone hot, or even kissing or whatever. I don’t feel it. I don’t get turned on.”
“Like, ever?” Nursey’s leaning forward, examining Dex like he’s a bug under a microscope.
And like a bug, Dex squirms. “Like, I still get boners once in a while, but…”
“So like, have you ever done it, then?”
Dex’s cheeks go up in flame. “That’s…”
Nursey claps a hand over his mouth, then waves it frantically. “No, no, never mind,” he says, “that’s way too nosy. Sorry. Sorry.”
Something about his surrender gives Dex the courage to fill in the blank. “I have.”
“Oh.” Nursey sits there, quiet, his eyes boring into Dex’s face so hard Dex thinks he might have holes where his freckles were.
It gets to be ridiculous. “Oh, just ask,” Dex prompts him.
“Sorry,” Nursey says again, but he goes on. “So … how did that work? You were able to get it up?”
“No. I…” Well, fuck, he’s telling Nurse everything else, so why not? “I was on the other end.”
Nursey’s face does something that Dex finds altogether amusing. Wide eyes, red cheeks, parted lips. “Oh. OH. So you…”
“Yeah.” Dex kicks his feet against the porch railing. “I like guys. Like, I want to date guys. Yeah. But I’m not into sex.”
Nursey winces as though he’s the one being kicked. “That’s rough.”
“Yeah, it is. People are… not cool when they realize you just don’t get interested.”
“Oh, man. I had no idea.” Nursey passes a hand over his shoulder. “Guys gave you shit for it?”
And Dex is sure Nursey can see it all, then. Right there on his face. The pain, the bad memories.
He feels naked, more exposed than he’d ever been with those guys who’d seen him without a stitch, on his hands and knees praying that his body would react to the touch of a hand, a mouth, anything. But never feeling it. And then being accused of everything from frigidity to infidelity and back again. You’re not really gay. You don’t really love me. You’re a cold fish. What the fuck is wrong with you?
It was all horrible. But sitting here with Nursey, thinking of it, talking about it? It’s a new kind of vulnerability. One where the guy next to him, this improbable guy who challenges him every single day, is accepting him just the way he is. It makes Dex feel warm, in a new way. Open. Happy, almost.
And he thinks, God, if only Nursey weren’t so damn into sex. Because this, right here? This connection? This is what he’s been looking for with all those other guys. The sense of being close and intimate and together. If Nursey were the slightest bit interested in being with someone who doesn’t care for sex -- and Nursey already knows, so that would be that conversation over and done with --
Well. Maybe. Maybe there will be a door open for that somewhere down the line. Who knows. For now, he just gives Nursey a small smile and says, “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”
“What?” Nursey looks genuinely shocked. “Dude, I would never. That’s not my secret to tell.”
“Thanks.” It’s all Dex can think to say, but it means the world.
Nursey pats his knee gently. “Thank you for telling me.”
For a moment, just a moment, his hand lingers on Dex’s knee, and Dex can feel Nursey’s eyes on him, see out of the corner of his mind a question on that face. Then they’re gone, both the hand and the gaze, and Nursey’s refocused on nothing-in-particular. Dex takes the joint and has another drag. “Cool,” he says, and looks at nothing too.
Yeah, maybe that door will open someday. Doesn’t have to be tonight.
