pairing: levi ackerman x reader
warnings: mentions of abuse
⟶ summary: Levi announces Commander Erwin set a trip to Shiganshina to reward the scouts, but what happens when your greatest fear isn’t a titan, but your abusive family that lives there?
a/n: I am bacckkkkk :) I have been gone for so long! I saw ALL your requests and will be on them shortly! here is some levi to help your day out. I’m still incredibly grateful for my followers & audience <3 xoxo
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You looked at the sky through the window of your little bedroom, unable to sleep. Tomorrow was a big day for you,
and you wanted nothing to do with it.
You felt the sudden tears sting your eyes. You tried to blink them off, but just couldn’t. You got up and quietly opened the door, trying hard not to wake your comrades. In nothing but your black shorts and your oversized green scouts shirt, you headed for the bathrooms, your brain replaying your potential future that was so close.
Tomorrow was a trip to Shiganshina.
Commander Erwin had meetings all day and took the opportunity to try and raise morale by letting the troops have a day off to take advantage of the towns, to help rebuild, support small businesses, or just walk around. It was a good idea, it was supposed to be a reward.
Not Trost, or the interior, Shiganshina,
You reached the sinks and with shaking hands, you turned the water on to rinse your face of the thoughts.
‘Captain Levi is going to take us, everything will be fine… right?’
You weren’t scared of titans like you were of what remained in your hometown. There’s something else residing there, something dangerous, someone dangerous. Your only living relative, the one who made your life a living hell after the wall fell. You shook with anxiety, thinking of the words he spoke to you and drenched your face quickly again.
‘Captain Levi won’t let anything—‘
You slammed the faucet off, angrily. ‘Captain Levi’s job is to help at war, not people’s personal issues. Snap out of it.’
You tried to deny your feelings for the legendary Captain, but deep down, there was nothing you could do. You liked him, which on its own was dangerous, given both his and your occupations.
When he announced this trip to you and your comrades, everyone cheered, except you. You had tried your hardest to smile, especially for your best friend Armin, but you felt the Captain’s stare on you, so you quickly hugged your overjoyed friend and left as everyone talked about what they were looking forward to seeing and doing.
You wiped your face dry and decided it was no use, you weren’t going to sleep, you’d be leaving for Shiganshina in a matter of hours, so you might as well wake yourself up. Your bare feet pitter-pattered across the wooden floors, down to the kitchens to get some tea.
You thought of the Captain again, remembering he was a tea drinker as well, but to be fair, he always had a place in your mind. The way he walked, his demeanor, his hair, the scent of him you could only just smell, his talent, everything. You hated to admit it, but it was true, you were in love with a man who would never love you. He didn’t talk to you very much, you’d just catch him looking at you from across a room. When you offered to use yourself as titan bait, he quickly snapped at you, but that’s normal for a Captain,
You reached the kitchens and headed for the cupboards, on your tiptoes, you slowly reached for the tin of tea. Lost in unbearable thoughts, you didn’t hear someone coming up from behind you.
Suddenly you felt a chest against your back, slightly pressing you into the counter, you saw a hand reaching up to the shelf above yours and instantly knew it was him. He pulled down a darker tin, his own personal tea. He set it down and you turned around to face him, your chest now hitting his as he closed the door.
Your heart fluttered with joy and fear, you’ve never been this close and it was giving you butterflies, but on the downside, why did it have to be when you were so scared and sad about tomorrow? He walked away from you, your bodies no longer touching and you took a deep breath to pull yourself together.
“You look like you need the strong stuff.” He said, voice deep as always. “It’s practically morning anyways and mine is heavily caffeinated.”
You were confused, “How did you know I’d be here, sir?”
He scoffed, clearly annoyed. “We’re not on duty until six, so don’t call me that… and I didn’t. I’m always up early, but this time I heard crying. It wasn’t until I realized it was you that I followed. You walk fast.”
You were humiliated, he heard you crying. You tried so hard to be the perfect soldier. Strong, flexible, reliable, yet he only saw you as a girl in tears, someone vulnerable.
“Apologize to me and it’ll be the last thing you’ll ever do. You say it too damn much. I’ve seen you take the blow for your comrades many times, you don’t have to do that here.” He snapped.
He interrupted again. “Now, are you going to tell me why you were crying at twenty to four and making tea?”
Your heart beat fast, he cared for some reason, but god you wished it was at a different time.
“It’s a long story...” you began.
“And we have a few hours before Erwin and the others wake up, so I suggest you start talking.”
Given nothing but silence, he turned to look at you and saw tears streaming silently on your face. He stopped moving.
You knew it was because he had never seen you cry and probably wondered what could finally break you. You got the courage to look up at him, and his eyes had that dead stare on you, as if he was reading your soul. He nodded towards the counter and you hopped on it as he boiled the water for tea. Dressed in his pajamas still, a tight black shirt and gray sweatpants, he made tea silently, not looking towards you at all.
Eventually, the tea was made and he walked over to you, handing it over in a teacup like his. Unexpectedly and almost out of character, he wiped a tear off your cheek, causing you to jump. He leans against the counter like it never happened, his arms crossed over his chest, analyzing you. “So,” he says much softer, not trying to scare you, “What broke you besides war, y/n?”
He said your name, he didn’t call you a soldier, or a cadet. He remembered and was speaking informally, person to person, not Captain to Soldier. Your stomach gained butterflies and you took a deep breath. He still watched you with that analyzing look, little did you know it meant he was very concerned.
“I don’t want to go to Shiganshina.” You said finally, not looking at him. It came out more fragile than you wanted, but there was an underlying firmness.
“I have to take you, it’s not my order.” Levi said calmly, arms still crossed.
You knew that and only nodded quickly. You felt a tear fall and you brushed it away, hoping he didn’t see it, but of course, he did.
Suddenly, the look on his face changed, but only for a moment. He can always hold his composure, but for a second he looked more icy than usual. He began to move the containers of tea and sugar and you thought you imagined it, until he spoke again.
His voice dripped with venom and he began to almost slam the containers closed, causing you to jump.
You thought you were keeping it hidden, but apparently you were easy to read tonight. Your heart began to race.
“It’s not the wall falling, or you wouldn’t be a Scout. The look on your face when I announced we were leaving was a look of pure dread. I grew up in the Underground, I know a thing or two. Now, who tortured you in that damn town?”
He walked up to you and set a hand on each side of the counter space, locking you in. He stood in front of your legs, eyes on you. There was no getting out of it.
“After the wall fell… my family got wiped out.” You began, slowly. You looked anywhere but him as you told your story.
“Everyone but one, my uncle. He blamed me for their deaths because my parents pushed me out of the way to save me from an incoming titan. He took me in, but I would’ve been better off, even with nowhere to go.” You looked down and played with your fingers, avoiding his burning gaze.
“His words were just as bad as his temper. I had to get out, I was sick and tired of being… a burden, I guess? As soon as I was able to sneak out, I joined the scouts, hoping I’d become useful. My uncle is still alive and if he sees me… I don’t know what he would do to be honest. I can’t go to Shiganshina, Levi.”
He blinked quickly at his name, and leaned away from you crossing his arms.
“You’re going.” He said plainly, to which you nodded. It wasn’t his orders, like he said and like you thought before, you knew that. He began to clean again, no longer looking at you. “You’re going— and you’re to stay beside me at all times, that’s an order.”
Your heart skipped, “You’re also to point him out to me, zero exceptions. If he even gets close to you, you’re to tell me immediately. I’m not letting that shithead even speak to you.”
“Yes, really. That’s all I can do, you’ll still have to go. I can’t change that.”
You smiled a little bit, “That’s more than enough.”
He turned to look at you through his hair falling through his eyes, “Are you sure?”
He stared at you, quietly, while you did the same. It was true, that was more than enough. Being at his side the whole trip would make it a breeze, even when you see your uncle. A last tear rolled down your cheek and he carefully stepped forward, as if he wasn’t sure what he was going to do himself. He carefully wiped the tear once again and whispered, “Go get some sleep, y/n.”
His voice was gruff, his face close to yours as his hand slowly left your cheek. Before you could answer, his hands were on your waist and he lifted you off the counter with no effort. You watched as he turned and began to put away the tea, then sugar, and began to organize like you weren’t there anymore. You slowly began to walk away, lost in thoughts of what just happened, the ghost of a smile on your face.
Little did you know, he had one too.
Tomorrow was going to be a horrible day, probably traumatic as well, but won’t be the end of the world anymore. The Captain himself wanted to be right there. After tonight, your suspicions were confirmed, he might not be the most emotional being, but he isn’t heartless.
If anything, he was your protector.
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