A snippet into what being an androgenous and disabled person of color is like in southern USA
I went camping last week with my mom and dog. It was an hour away and on a lake, and we had a great time. But there was one thing that happened.
For context, I am a person of color - my skin is brown, I have non-white features (button nose, thin eyebrows, etc.). I also tend to dress androgynously - that day I was wearing a swimming shirt and shorts, with a slight bump where my boobs were (don’t bind and swim unless you’re wearing a binder made for it!!), and a backwards baseball cap. I am also disabled - I was wearing braces (knees) and was ticcing (little ha’s, look out’s, and head jerks).
I was waiting in line, doing my own thing, minding my own business, when I turn around for a second to see a man watching me. He was pretty tall, hefty, and was glaring at me.
“Can I help you?” I asked after a moment. Every possible outcome went through my head.
But he scoffed and rolled his eyes, disgusted.
“I bet you haven’t seen a tranny or a cripple in a while, have you?” I said.
He looked shocked, and I turned around and ignored him.
I was terrified. It flew out of my mouth before I could think twice. I stood up for myself by calling him out, pointing out his issues, and then ignoring him, as well as reclaiming two slurs. However, I could have antagonised him. I could have made him mad. I could have made things so much worse.
At the end of the day, I doubt anything much changed. He probably just thought that I was a jerk, and didn’t think anything more. I’m physically safe. But it made me feel more powerful.
I don’t know what the message of this is, but this is the sort of thing that I deal with every time I go into public. Being a person of color is an experience that has no comparison. None. Being physically disabled means that you can be hated for the way your body is, and being a POC means being hated because of how much melanin is in your skin (simplified).
I guess there are two things that I want to say:
1) If you see someone staring at someone else in disgust, hatred, etc., and you are safe to do so, say something. To the person staring or the person being stared at. A simple ‘leave them alone’ or a quiet ‘I’m here in case something happens’ goes a long way.
2) Do not compare the struggles disabled people of color face to anything else. Just don’t. I don’t care what you face, it is not the same. Might be worse overall. Maybe. But it is not the same. At the end of the day, why compare things at all? Especially if you’re white. Admit you’re privilege or suffer the consequences of your own beliefs.